Unsupervised Neighbourhood Kids

[One&Only]

Good day all! I need some help & advice on how to address an ongoing issue.

So where I live (Manitoba) I am only allowed a max of 4 children under 12 in my care at once, & I am very strict about following this rule & take my job quite seriously. I have been having issues with neighbourhood kids on my block coming to hangout on our property when they see us out.

Since my neighbourhood is fairly new (my house is the oldest one on my block & its 2 years old), so I don’t have my own personal backyard set up just yet so we are limited to playing in the front where we’re clearly visible. Most of my neighbours aren’t very good with their English, & most of the neighbourhood children that I am having issues with are cared for by their grandmas who speak almost no English. Lately when we’re outside there’s certain children who flock to my driveway to come & join my daycare kids & my daughter & it’s been really bothering me because they are almost always unsupervised & when their grandma sees me come outside they go back in. The other day one of the boys who’s older than my group but not quite FT school age yet was driving in my driveway with his bike & I panicked when he almost ran over one of my daycare kids & when I asked him to leave he didn’t seem to understand what I was saying, & we came inside afterwards. Another day I caught him trying to rip the toys out of one of my DCG’s hands that she was playing with & I of course handled that situation but I don’t think he’s understanding me or getting the message because he keeps coming back.

Normally I would just very friendly explain to the parents the situation & that would be it, but the no English speaking thing has me puzzled. I should add that my husband is the same ethnicity as our neighbours so I’m wondering if they think it’s ok & are too comfortable with it because that’s what they do in their culture, they are always willing & able to care for their friends & family’s children whenever without having a problem with it. There’s also only about 7 of the 20 houses on my small block that are all VERY good friends with each other so I know that if I try to address this I will become the b***h of my block & maintaining good relationships with my neighbours is important to me. Also, in the afternoons is when we play on my property, & the mornings are when we take our walks & park trips since pick up times vary from 3pm-Closing so park in the afternoon isn’t feasible.

Any advice on how to handle this? I know that it has to be addressed, even if I end up ruining any potential good relationships from this, as my DCK’s safety is #1 priority.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

Since you are wary of communicating the issue (even if you could get past the language barrier) for concern about how this will affect your relationship, then your only option is not to be out there. Totally sucks but based on all comments you've made, you are going to lose something regardless of what way you tackle it.

1. Carry on as is knowing it's an issue with ratios.

2. Stop going onto the front of your property where others see it as an invitation to join you unless you are willing to confront the problem. Remember, your neighbors likely have no idea it's a business and there are rules about numbers. They likely think you are a larger than average size family. Get a stroller and go for a walk somewhere. At least you'll have the outside time without all the extras.

3. Find a google translate tool of some type and write up a letter, explaining the situation. Let them know you aren't being mean however the provincial regulations restrict you by property and the presence of their children during business hours risks your business being closed down. Maybe invite them over to meet socially over the weekend and start building a relationship with them so they can see you aren't being a b***h.

[One&Only]

3. Find a google translate tool of some type and write up a letter, explaining the situation. Let them know you aren't being mean however the provincial regulations restrict you by property and the presence of their children during business hours risks your business being closed down. Maybe invite them over to meet socially over the weekend and start building a relationship with them so they can see you aren't being a b***h.

Thank you Suzie. This seems like the only option I have at this point. I do know that they are aware that I am running a daycare because one time we were invited to a birthday party that another neighbourhood family attended (a family that is also good friends with the family mentioned in my post) & their older girl was translating for her grandma asking how I like running my daycare & if I have any openings soon & also telling me that her & our neighbours like seeing us play outside because we “don’t have enough small children” on the block, they’re all school age children.

I also don’t want to have to limit our outdoor time that we spend in the front, since it’s the only available space we have to play on & to leave my property would mean a parent comes for pick up while nobody is here. The kids really love being out in the front, their imaginations run wild out there since it is mostly just mud (no grass yet).

[Suzie_Homemaker]

My son just make one other suggestion - fence it. Even if it's a white low picket fence, create some barrier so it is more of intentional action for them to open gate and come onto property.

People don't understand there are rules about ratios in day homes which still apply outside. Or they don't realize that even if they stayed with their child, you would have an issue with them being present. Plus, sadly, they forget you are actually working. Unless you spell it all out, fencing might be your only option.

[Peacefulbird]

Hi,

It must be hard to deal with that kind of situation. I strongly support the idea of a temporary front yard fence. But also, I was wondering if the government has a translation of a homedaycare general rules such as ratios etc. Many government information docs. Are translated and published in many languages.

If the people living around there has certain English language barriers there has to be information in their language (otherwise I wonder, how they did their legal papers to stay and live in Canada?)

Anyway, if you can get that translation printed you could always blame the "government Homedaycare policies in canada" rather than making it look that this is your doing.

And also you can post a time frame ie. 8 am to 5 pm. Daycare children only. And explain to the children and adults that you welcome their visit after 5:00 pm or weekends.

If you're dealing with children they most likely know English. Just be friendly and tell them to comeback later after 5pm or on the weekends they learn quick. Also you can invite the adults to join you when you're st the park or public areas.

Currently, you have an absolutely dangerous situation in your hands. 1. It is illegal to have many children in your property, 2. You can loose your insurance (read their policies) if anything happens in your property with paying clients or none you are responsible and liable.

Sometimes we are just pushed to make those though decisions. You're absolutely risking much moRe than "friendship" (in my view). And if they're really such good friends I'm sure they'll understand.

[Busy ECE mommy]

I think liability wise, you have to create a physical barrier in the front yard, as suggested by others.
I made a cheap wooden barrier off the end of my raised patio in the backyard out of old( free) skids/pallets that people were throwing away.
Even some stakes in the ground wrapped with yellow caution tape might give a visual barrier.
Perhaps put a big red “stop” sign on the fence, as I’m sure they’d recognize the significance of the universal symbol.
The liability is too risky if something happens while over ratio.

[One&Only]

Update!

So after some careful consideration on how to approach this potentially touchy issue, I figured I would get my husband (who speaks the same language as them) to very nicely & politely explain the dangers & issue of ratios. We waited until one day on a weekend when it was just us home, & they usually walk by & smile & say something to my husband in their language, & when they did this he went for it & carefully slipped it in the conversation in a non-confrontational manner. Sometimes either my husband or them will strike up a brief conversation, & this time they were on the topic of landscaping, which turned into the topic of children, then they asked about the daycare, then he mentioned how there’s a lot of rules I have to follow (this is how & when he slipped it in there). This didn’t bode over well with them & now there’s a good row of 4 houses that pretend like we don’t exist anymore. They became offended & my husband later told me that they told him he shouldn’t call himself a (insert ethnicity here) because they’re all very welcoming & hospitable & what he insinuated was very rude & offensive & blah blah blah & “what would your mother think” of him not allowing neighbourhood children to play with his.

Needless to say I am glad that that conversation has been had, & I am glad that I don’t have to worry about being over ratios again because my DCK’s safety is literally my number 1 priority during daycare hours. I am just upset over the thought of how things turned out.

[Peacefulbird]

I sad to hear that people in your neighbourhood didn't support your concern.

At the end it is their loss not yours. You're a responsible person and I'm sure a great person to have as a friend. If they're not able to see or value that its bad for them its their loss.

I, as a member of the community of providers, I thank you and support your decision. We do not need more unfortunate episodes. It is our live hood and we must protect it. You did what's right.

[Suzie_Homemaker]

These people have shown you the type of people they are. They clearly aren't the type of people I would want as a friend anyway. Let them get on with being mean spirited among themselves and be grateful your children aren't mixing with theirs.

[JARS]

I'm sorry to hear the outcome.
I wouldn't be too concerned with them playing in the yard because you can always tell the children to go home if there was an emergency you had to deal with but I understand your concern. Hopefully things settle down for you.

[Peacefulbird]

I wouldn't be too concerned with them playing in the yard because you can always tell the children to go home if there was an emergency you had to deal with*

Hi, unfortunately the insurance companies won't think so. Read their policies, I was explained that in the event of something serious happening (even if parents are around), it is your property and you are liable but also responsible on following the province's ratio policy), if they find out during their investigations that you had been over ratios, your liability coverage with the insurance company will automatically be cancelled.

Regardless being a child paying or non paying but in your property with your knowledge and concent.

And please, can anyone support this with their experience? Mine is that unsupervised children usually are misbehaved. Or test limit's what about if something happens to that child in your property and their parents cannot be found inmediately?

If you do not show any concern due to ratios then most likely you're showing to your community the lack of seriousness and professionalism towards the childcare field, the group will keep growing and everyone will think there is a free babysitting drop in program, therefore perhaps run to the store while the kids are at the "free drop in house".

Unfortunately friends or not, the childcare situacion is a very delicate territory here (we are working with the most vulnerable group of our society "children").

Absolutely No. Not even a second in my view. I usually inform parents, friends etc in my community, to let them know and be aware of over ratios "illegal" situations and report them inmediately.

They also know they're most welcome to join us when I have one or more children out for the day or week but within my ratios(I usually send an especial invitation for a playdate). And adults and their child can always join us during our outings (parks, library, etc)