PDA

View Full Version : The Mommy issue - what's in a name?



Spixie33
01-24-2012, 12:52 PM
Does it bother you if the dck call you mommy?
I have a bunch who took a while to learn to talk but they knew how to say mommy so they called me mommy. Now they are getting older but they still call me mommy half the time and by my name half the time.
I correct them some of the time but am not sure how much of an issue I should make of it.
It is like being at the mall and someone yells mommy and ten women turn around.
I just respond to it when they say it without thinking about it too much but since some of the kids are nearing 3 and calling me mommy I am not sure if I need to crack down on this.
Do you let kids call you mommy or do you correct them each time? does it matter?

It is confusing because they are still young and probably don't mean it literally but sometimes we are out and they call me mommy and I am not sure if other providers expect me to correct them or think I am teaching them to call me that. lol:o

sunnydays
01-24-2012, 01:05 PM
I wouldn't make a big deal about it, but I would correct it as it could upset the mothers to hear their child calling you mommy. I have the same kind of thing with my husband...my kids call him Papa, so all the daycare kids call him papa as well...I think it's cute and since none of them calls their dad papa, there is no confusion...they just think it's his name! However, none of my dck's call me mommy even though my kids do...I do correct it as I don't want to have any upset mothers. I'm not sure how I would feel if I heard my child call his daycare provider mommy.

Emily3
01-24-2012, 01:18 PM
My little ones have all recently started to talk and also all call me Mama! I think they refer to all adult females this way, I think they just think that is our name ha ha! My parents don't mind, they know the children don't think I am their mother. One little guy calls everyone with gray hair Nana too!

mom-in-alberta
01-24-2012, 03:38 PM
I would correct, everytime, but that's just me. I am not their mom, so I don't want them to get into the habit of calling me that. Not to mention; I have a 4 yr old daughter who would LOSE it if all the kiddos called me mommy. I don't think the parents would love it, either.
So; all around, that's a no for me, lol.

Skysue
01-24-2012, 04:34 PM
My little ones have all recently started to talk and also all call me Mama! I think they refer to all adult females this way, I think they just think that is our name ha ha! My parents don't mind, they know the children don't think I am their mother. One little guy calls everyone with gray hair Nana too!


Most of my current and past daycare kids called me Mom (the younge ones) my 3 year old never had a problem with it. They don't think of you as there personal Mom but just the Mom who takes care of them. When you have your own child calling you Mom all day that is what they hear. When they are older and able to understand then you correct them. I think its sweet and it shows they feel at home!

playfelt
01-24-2012, 05:28 PM
It was worst when my own kids were little and they just copied them. I sort of felt better letting teh daycare kids call me mom than asking my own kids to call me by my name during daycare hours. The older they get the less they do it. As long as they are using your name some of the time then the issue is starting to go away.

As some have said kids just assume that all women are moms and all men are dads just as they go thorugh association phases where all 4 legged small animals are dogs and big ones are cows or whichever two they pick.

When they call you mom you can just say my name is "-------" what would you like. It will come. Evetually start not answering to mom by looking at them when they say mom and say no I am.... but not till child is at least 3-4. Their curiosity about the world they want to share with you is more important than how they get your attention. Don't squash their enthusiasm yet.

zen39
01-24-2012, 05:50 PM
all my dck's have called me mommy...not a big deal and parents don't care, they told me they are actually comforted by it, because it shows to them that their kids feel comfortable and loved by me. My own kids don't care either, they know I'm their mommy and not theirs.

Momof4
01-24-2012, 06:39 PM
I agree, it's perfectly normal when they are really small, but you can gradually teach them your name. My grandson was the reason I started my daycare so for a while all my little ones were calling me grandma. One of the Moms was picking up her little girl and she called me grandma and the Mom sternly told her my name was NOT grandma. But none of the other Moms ever worried about it if they heard their child say that.

Sandbox Sally
01-25-2012, 12:18 PM
All my daycare kids call me by my first name. I don't think any one of them has ever called me mommy. Hmm...I refer to myself in the third person constantly. Do you think that makes a diff?

dodge__driver11
01-25-2012, 12:37 PM
I only say my son's name with mommy "Jacob's mommy" but am always refering to myself in the third person

Spixie33
01-25-2012, 01:18 PM
It's kind of weird because one of the children who does it the most (calling me mommy) is so perfect at never having a slip up in front of their mom and calling me by my first name in front of their mom all the time...but when mom is not here then I hear it 80% of the time. It makes me think the child knows what they are doing.

I know that the child knows the difference between me and their real mom but maybe they feel like I am the daytime mommy? lol

We do circle time and sing songs where I always use my first name so they do know it.

There are days where my own school age children call me my first name and the daycare kids call me mommy and I joked with one of the mom's how backwards it all is.

So far the mom's have not said anything and when they were younger I know the kids just thought a mommy is any grown woman who looks after them....but now I am kind of at this precipice where they are starting to know...they can all say my name and use it sometimes to varying frequencies.....but I also don't want to crack down too hard on it and break our bond or trust. In a way I feel like if I chastise them over it too much then I might make them uncomfortable with me.

I do wish that in our home daycares we could give ourselves teacher names like they do at daycare centres - i.e Ms Judy or Ms Norma etc instead of just going straight to first name only. But I think it would be weird for the parents to hear that in a homedaycare

mom-in-alberta
01-25-2012, 01:54 PM
I do wish that in our home daycares we could give ourselves teacher names like they do at daycare centres - i.e Ms Judy or Ms Norma etc instead of just going straight to first name only. But I think it would be weird for the parents to hear that in a homedaycare

I call myself "Miss. (my first name)". It started because the first group of kids I had (a set of siblings) all called me that. I prefer that to kids just using my first name, because when I was growing up my parents engraved on my brain "You DO NOT call adults their first name". It was always Mr or Mrs, or for close family friends Auntie or Uncle.
I am a little more lax with my own kids on that matter. And in fact, most of the daycare kids just call me by my first name. Obviously the parents don't worry about the "Miss" when referring to me.
Just wanted to say that I don't think it's weird! :)

Nifer
01-26-2012, 12:26 PM
I wouldn't have a problem with it, but would make sure the parents are ok with it bc you never know how they'll react.

I have the opposite the problem with my 2yo son. Not often, but when a dck calls me by my name, he will too. Thankfully its not often or for long. Now him I correct-"i;m not jen,you call me mama" lol

Cadillac
01-27-2012, 09:57 PM
I would correct it. Not because the kids would get confused . . . . . but because, as a mother myself . . . . I don't want my child calling anyone else mommy . . . . it's a bit sacred

Cadillac
01-27-2012, 09:58 PM
I wouldn't tell any mother that this is happening either . . .

playfelt
01-27-2012, 10:16 PM
I only correct it if we are having a basic conversation. If the child is excited about something and says "mommy look....." just comment on what we are looking at so as not to spoil the moment. Kids will call mom dad and dad mom often when they are thinking about something else like what they want to say next. I don't treat it as a big deal because at some point almost all kids do it. Parents, grandparents, etc. call a child by another name because that name is on their mind at the time and mean nothing by it. Would never mention it to a parent and if it happened in front of the parent just ignore the child and not let on they are talking to me.

mom-in-alberta
01-28-2012, 12:44 AM
That's true, playfelt... I have overlooked it when it's "hey!mommylook!yadaya dayada..."
I would correct if that's what they referred to me as, on a regular basis.

Daycare123
01-31-2012, 01:11 PM
I would definitely correct you daycare kids. You are not their mother and I think some mothers might find that really odd. Again, no need to make a big deal out of it-but you are their caregiver-not their parent...you know?

Daycare123
01-31-2012, 01:15 PM
I refer to myself in the third person constantly. Do you think that makes a diff?

Alphaghetti- I also CONSTANTLY refer to myself in the third person hahah! I do this so that the children learn my name :)