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Skysue
02-02-2012, 12:27 PM
I’m transiting a new baby 16 months old and she cries every time I put her in her highchair. She won’t leave my side so I put her in her highchair while I’m prepping meals and I give her toys but she screams like crazy.

I can’t leave her by my side as she tries to play with the stove? I don’t understand why parents these days don’t enforce the kitchen as a no fly zone. A 17 month old should know the stove is off limits L

She screams at nap time and won’t sleep she only has slept twice and I’m sure its from pure exhaustion. Oh and she refuses to eat in her highchair. She will ask for food to walk around with and I just hate this as its messy and the other kids try and take it.

Her Mom mentioned that she went to another interview after me and she was applauded that they served pasta two times a week for a meal. She liked my meal plans; I serve pasta as a side never a meal. I can’t get her daughter to eat anything and today I fed her chicken and pasta and now I know why. She eats pasta like it’s chocolate. LOL

So my thought is she doesn’t want me to serve it due to the fact that it’s all she will eat. This way there are dinner options. Am I overeating or not?

Ladies the screaming and crying is really killing me. I have told her to please stop crying as she knows she’s ok and she looks at me and stops crying & is if fine. But will start back up when I turn my head.

Ideas? She has been here 3 weeks and this week is week 4, she is only part time and I know it takes longer I just don’t know if I have anymore energy left myself!

HELP!

jec
02-02-2012, 12:43 PM
Yikes ~ sounds like you may need to let this one go....
You know your limits and if the constant screaming and crying is getting to you ~ it isn't worth the stress that it is causing you.
You could try to hang in there...try different tactics to get her to stop but it sounds as though you might have already made up your mind.

Bookworm
02-02-2012, 12:52 PM
I am in a very similar situation to you right now, so I have no help, but I feel your pain. I have 3 kids transitioning right now. Just turned one year old twin boys (who are fine and never had a problem transitioning) and an eleven month old girl who is full time. I am currently in week 3 with her and she does the same thing as your little one. As soon as I put her in the highchair she would cry and scream and wouldn't eat. She wanted me to hold her so she could eat. No way that was happening! I just kept reassuring her and telling her she was fine and eventually she stopped crying for the most part. If I leave her sight she cries and screams and again I tell her to stop and that she's fine.
I know she is babied at home, her mom tells me she screams if mom leaves the room too.
I had a day from hell yesterday because she cried pretty much all day and set all the other kids off too and it is getting to me too. My two year old daughter tells me she doesn't want her here.
When the kids are playing she is constantly trying to crawl in my lap and cries if I tell her no. I put her down and give her a toy and tell her she's okay, but that only works sometimes. The only thing I have found so far to stop the crying for the most part is to allow her to have her blankie with her at all times. She normally will just cuddle with it and stop crying, then rejoin in the playing or just sit there and watch the kids play.
I too hope this ends soon.

Crayola kiddies
02-02-2012, 03:18 PM
I am going to start transitioning a 10 month old next week and after reading these posts as well as another similar thread I am getting really nervous.

Cocoon
02-02-2012, 03:40 PM
Crayola kiddies, not all kids are the same. If it helps I have another 14 months old who only comes 2 days a week and it only took him for a week or two to adjust. It was difficult at first especially nap times as he did not wanted to nap but his mom told me that she lets him cry and he will get used to it. Which I did and in max. 2 weeks he is a dream boy. He sleeps, eats and my days with him is very relaxing and I enjoy having him here. I told his mother if she would think of going back to work full time :laugh:

So don't worry. Unless you try you wouldn't know. Or maybe we will see your post soon "I'm going to lose my mind " only joking :)

Cocoon

michellesmunchkins
02-02-2012, 04:14 PM
I had a little one like this as well, she lives in a house with all adults who have treated her like a little 'doll' so she THINKS she needs to be picked up constantly and had no idea how to interact/play with or alongside the other children. Patience is key and trust me its not easy to listen to for hours on end. It does in turn effect the other children. It took my little one a few months of this, but I never waivered in picking her up. She would cry in the highchair, cry in the playpen, cry in the daycare rooms, cry if someone walked past her...but we would all remind her that she was ok and then ignore the crying. Each day it was less and less and now she is the sweetest little girl that we all just love to pieces! The other children would also tell her "its ok, mommy be here soon" and continue playing. It also helps if the parents are on board and help out in respect to not giving in to her every whim at home...not always easy as parents usually don't 'get it' but might be worth holding onto. Trust me, many days I swore it would be here last night as I just couldn't handle the crying, but now I can't imagine her not here. It will all depend on how much you can deal with the crying.

sunnydays
02-02-2012, 04:28 PM
Don't worry! I have found so far that the younger ones adjust faster...I have a boy who started with me at 9 months and he NEVER cried for his parents...not even once! He was happy and slept like a dream from day one! I have another 12 month old who is nearing his second week with me now and he only cried a little bit for the first 2-3 days and since then he has been a dream also...he sleeps well, eats well and plays happily all day long. My first daycare child was more along the lines of these threads...cried all the time...wouldn't sleep...eventually I terminated her, but it wasn't just that...I kept her for 8 months and had all kinds of problems. I am not sure if I am just lucky with the most recent additions or if it is because I am getting better at it (I've been doing daycare for almost a year now...not a long time, but I feel I've come a long way!). The only advice I have is following a pretty rigid routine so that the kids know exactly what to expect and when, and to be consistent for the same reason. When they go down for the naps, follow the same routine always and if they cry react in the same way each time (for me, I let them cry, but go and check after about 5 minutes, lie them back down, repeat repeat until they sleep...the checking is partly reassurance, but mainly to make sure they haven't pooped or there isn't some real problem). The more sure the child can be in your reactions and in the structure of the day, the more secure they will feel. However, every kid is different and it will be harder for some kids than others...doesn't mean you aren't doing everything right!



I am going to start transitioning a 10 month old next week and after reading these posts as well as another similar thread I am getting really nervous.

Momof4
02-02-2012, 04:33 PM
Interviewing is my least favourite part of my job and transitioning is a very close second. It's really rough when you get a child who takes a few months to fit it. It's exhausting for us as the provider and for the other children in the daycare. I've been transitioning new new babies for months now and I look at the 3 older children at the end of the day and they are just wiped out like I am from listening to all the crying. I love it when a child comes in and is happy quickly but it doesn't happen very often.

I'm in month 4 with the new little boy and his parents are doing everything I suggest so that he has consistency at home and daycare. I won't terminate when the parents are trying hard because I'll just have to start over if I try a new family. But you have to go with what works for you.

Skysue
02-02-2012, 04:52 PM
Thanks ladies, it just helps knowing others understand. To top it all off today I have a killer migrane! The new little one is soooo sweet and I know we will get there but I just wish it was now!

She naped today but had a #2 during and fell back asleep. I had to wake her to change her but she wasn't happy and didn't sleep much after! :(

Spixie33
02-02-2012, 08:03 PM
Transitioning an infant can be challenging. I have had 15-18 mo start without any issues and then recently transitioned a 12 month old.
After day 1 of the 12 mo old I though I might have to terminate and possibly take up drinking :confused: :eek:
But after a few days it got better and the child transitioned within a week and a half.
It is a REALLY FINE line to walk between comforting and cuddling a scared/confused child and also not getting too close to the point where they velcro themselves to you. There has to be a balance between comforting and making them learn to play on their own for periods of time and fostering independence.
I hope it gets better for everyone who is going through the tough transitions. Kudos to everyone who transitions an infant. I know that minutes with a crying new child can feel like hours

suemaria
02-03-2012, 09:35 AM
there is a lot left unsaid with what is happening with your transitioning. did the child have part days to transition into your program? did they start cold turkey? what happend during their first days with you? did you discuss with parents what goes on at home, how to transition, what the childs sleep patterns have been up until now? have they even been around many other adults? what other activities did you think of trying while you are preparing meals? is there any interest in the other children in your program for the transitioning child? have you thought of prepping meals ahead so there is little to do until things level out? in my program in encourage the kitchen area and maintain it for safety much like the rest of the designated daycare spaces... i teach the children early on whats acceptable and safe but am always aware of concerns as accidents can happen, they just learn... when transitioning or upon interviewing i suggest allowing children to get use to the environment so that they are at least comfortable and recognize the space, then have them warm up to me. it makes much easier of a transition... plus communicate with your parents... work together to establish what is best, to get to the point in which it works for you and thus the children!!!

greenborodaycare
02-03-2012, 09:49 AM
I'm totally confused about the pasta issue. Is she saying pasta is good? not good? I serve pasta a lot! It's probably the healthiest all around balanced food you could possibly serve! Its whole wheat, sauce has about a bazillion vegetables in it not to mention the tomatoes having high fiber and vitamin c content, and kids LOVE it. You lost me after the whole pasta being an issue thing :s

Anywho...transitioni ng is tough and stressful on everyone. Sometimes you just have to dig your heels in and grin and bear it.
I had a child three years ago that cried for six hours a day for two weeks and it was a nightmare and I almost let her go. One day she just stopped and i'm glad i didn't let her go cause she's been her for three years and she calls me aunty now and i have a very good close relationship with her parents. I can't imagine her not being here!

Crayola kiddies
02-03-2012, 10:53 AM
If i understand correctly I think the pasta issue was that the parent doesnt want it served at lunch cause it's all the kid will eat without issue and she wants to serve it at dinner..... Hence the parent wants nice quiet dinner times for herself while the caregiver struggles during the day with all the other foods the child won't eat .... That's my take on it ... Not sure if I'm right though

Spixie33
02-03-2012, 11:32 AM
If i understand correctly I think the pasta issue was that the parent doesnt want it served at lunch cause it's all the kid will eat without issue and she wants to serve it at dinner..... Hence the parent wants nice quiet dinner times for herself while the caregiver struggles during the day with all the other foods the child won't eat .... That's my take on it ... Not sure if I'm right though

That's what I got from it too.

Apparently this parent was 'appalled' that a daycare provider would serve pasta two times a week when she saw the menu.

I am not sure what pasta refers to. If it is KD or just plain noodles with butter then I can understand that a parent might be iffy but if pasta is whole grainw ith vegetables and beef or chicken tossed in or spaghetti and meat balls that are homemade then I have no idea. Spaghetti is always a kid favorite - it covers a lot of food groups and I can't understand if anyone would have an issue with that.

I guess if someone is serving spaghettios from a can or ravioli from a can then maybe I would question it

I serve pasta but always have meat in it and veggies and I serve some fruit or something alongside most times

Skysue
02-03-2012, 12:44 PM
If i understand correctly I think the pasta issue was that the parent doesnt want it served at lunch cause it's all the kid will eat without issue and she wants to serve it at dinner..... Hence the parent wants nice quiet dinner times for herself while the caregiver struggles during the day with all the other foods the child won't eat .... That's my take on it ... Not sure if I'm right though

Bang on that's what I'm thinking!

Skysue
02-03-2012, 12:57 PM
there is a lot left unsaid with what is happening with your transitioning. did the child have part days to transition into your program? did they start cold turkey? what happend during their first days with you? did you discuss with parents what goes on at home, how to transition, what the childs sleep patterns have been up until now? have they even been around many other adults? what other activities did you think of trying while you are preparing meals? is there any interest in the other children in your program for the transitioning child? have you thought of prepping meals ahead so there is little to do until things level out? in my program in encourage the kitchen area and maintain it for safety much like the rest of the designated daycare spaces... i teach the children early on whats acceptable and safe but am always aware of concerns as accidents can happen, they just learn... when transitioning or upon interviewing i suggest allowing children to get use to the environment so that they are at least comfortable and recognize the space, then have them warm up to me. it makes much easier of a transition... plus communicate with your parents... work together to establish what is best, to get to the point in which it works for you and thus the children!!!

I prepare hot lunches 90% of the time and I'm sorry but she needs to get used to the way I do things everyday right from the start. If you start catering to them like tip toeing around then it will be expected and I don't believe in that. She did one transition day with Mom prior but lets be serious if it’s going to be difficult on her it will be no matter what.

Today I left her out of the high chair and sat her in a safe corner of the kitchen where she could see me and put a huge basket of toys in front of her and she cried then after 10 minutes she was good! But she still gave me huge fight when I put ther in her high chair. Her screaming was so bad that she upset the other baby.

Her parents say that they don’t cater to her every need but her actions say way different. This is my challenge.

Her nap times and sleep patterens follow mine!

Not to be rude but what program do you suggest I do while I prep lunch?

Skysue
02-03-2012, 01:04 PM
That's what I got from it too.

Apparently this parent was 'appalled' that a daycare provider would serve pasta two times a week when she saw the menu.

I am not sure what pasta refers to. If it is KD or just plain noodles with butter then I can understand that a parent might be iffy but if pasta is whole grainw ith vegetables and beef or chicken tossed in or spaghetti and meat balls that are homemade then I have no idea. Spaghetti is always a kid favorite - it covers a lot of food groups and I can't understand if anyone would have an issue with that.

I guess if someone is serving spaghettios from a can or ravioli from a can then maybe I would question it

I serve pasta but always have meat in it and veggies and I serve some fruit or something alongside most times

I serve pasta 2 times a week but only as a side to a full balanced meal. (White cheddar mac and cheese is the only bad one but it's my daughters favourate, she would eat it everyday if she wanted too) Pesto fussili, linguini with alfrado, spagetti with tomato sauce (I hate the clean up) LOL. But due to this little one being part time I have limited pasta to only one day.

playfelt
02-03-2012, 01:49 PM
I serve pasta - as lightly buttered noodles and usually a sprinkle of celery seed in the water as it boils or something like that - for whatever reason that is the favourite spice right now.

Pasta is great because it is finger food for the toddlers, can be stabbed with a fork for preschoolers and is usually liked by most kids. I rarely add anything else to it BUT there is a meat and a veggie on the plate. The pasta is the grain serving of the meal. I see nothing wrong with serving pasta alone as at the end of the meal it makes no difference. The kids that would eat just pasta and nothing else are most likely to not eat the pasta with stuff on it so I say serve whatever but don't assume there is a problem with pasta if it just has a bit of butter on it so it doesn't stick together and no other toppings.

I agree the mom is wanting to reserve pasta for herself. I would ignore and serve what you want. Not your fault the child gets it twice in one day.

Momof4
02-03-2012, 04:37 PM
I only serve pasta noodles as a side dish too, and REAL pasta, not the kind in a box with enough sodium to kill a family of 10! My daycare children love the boy shape the best, whatever it is really called, and they think they are butterflies. I do the same as playfelt, sometimes just some butter or other times a bit of red sauce. I probably only serve this about once a week as a replacement for the bread item.

There are too many Moms who use the quick KD fix so I would have to wonder if you ladies are right about your suspicions.

CountryHill
02-07-2012, 12:33 PM
Although I'm new to home daycare, I do have a strong background working with children from birth to age 6 and transitioning them to daycare settings. It is horrible to listen to a child cry most of the day for weeks on end. It is draining for everyone. But, I do agree with those who say that after sticking it out the child usually becomes a dream to keep on.

Crying is also based on temperment not only learned behaviour. The parents may not give into the child all the time at home, the child just may not be as resilient as others and more emotionally needy. I do encourage you to stick it out for the sake of the child because it will get better. When you terminate a child who is having difficulty adjusting it makes it so much worse for the child at the next place he or she goes.

That being said, not all children are a good match. If the way you run your daycare and your style doesn't match the parents beliefs etc. then maybe this child is not a good fit. Sounds like this parent has you doing all the work so she can coast in the evening. That is not fair!

Tough call, and lots to think about. I commend you for sticking it out this long :)

Skysue
02-07-2012, 12:39 PM
It's still very hard on her and today she just refused to eat! :( but she is getting better in her high chair. Today I opted to be myself and not sit in one spot with her by my side so much. She cried quite a bit but I know it was mostly to say hey look at me. She is amazing at circle time she loves books, songs and riddles so we will see!

playfelt
02-07-2012, 01:38 PM
If she is good at circletime you could also go under the assumption that she has been held, read to , sang to etc and what she is totally lacking is play skills. She may be totally overwhelmed by toys and not know what to do with them. Have had this many times from kids who were with grandparents till they turned 18m-24m and then parents wanted them with other kids but the kids had no idea what to do with other kids. We had to start at step one and actually demonstrate how to use the toy of the day.

lori123
02-07-2012, 09:46 PM
Hi Sue,

Have you tried a booster feeding chair on the floor for this child? I have all 5 of my kids in feeding chairs on the floor and they all love setting up "their seats" and helping me put the tray on them. Grins, maybe she is just afraid of heights or the highchair itself! :) I hope it gets better....

I have a 12 month old coming in March and I must admit, after reading this thread that I'm not looking forward to it!! I've been spoiled with older kids of at least 2 years plus and its going to be a bit of a shocker to go back to the younger baby days! Hugs, we all hope it gets better soon for you and that she adjusts quickly for your sake (and hers!) Hang in there, Lori:D

Skysue
02-08-2012, 05:14 PM
Thanks Lori123 she loves the highchair at home so I'm not sure. I can't have her on the floor as my 2 year olds would take her food. My high chairs are in the kitchen and the toddlers eat at the picnic table in the dining room. I need my babies to be away from the others and I need to feed them all at the same time as it helps keep on schedule. She sits at the picnic table for pm snack though and loves it. I would love those knd of boosters but don't have the funds at the moment as I will be terminating a child this week! whole other post~!

The good thing is this little ones parents are on board to do whatever to make her adjustment easier. They even offered to send her full time for a few weeks! We will see!

playfelt
02-08-2012, 06:57 PM
Going full time for the first month and then gradually working back to part time usually works. The child comes to see daycare as normal and learns to accept it.

KingstonMom
02-08-2012, 08:06 PM
Good points everyone. I transitioned a 17 month old boy who started Jan 3rd. Boy, was he a nightmare! He didnt cry or scream, but he was a WHINER!!! uggg constant!! I try to forget how bad he was, but I definetly contemplated terming him after 2 weeks, but stuck thru. He is alot better now, but still gets in his whiney moments.

I decided to not give into his whines for attention (he always was happy if I carried him around with me). I agree its best if I just treated him like any other dck and I dont pick them up only to bring them on the changetable or if they got hurt etc. I did assure him he is okay, but also telling him "we dont whine here, you are fine". After a while he totally got the hang of things and plays happily with the others and is a really good eater. No concerns now!

You have put up with it alot longer than I did though...Im not sure i could handle it for that long. My kid was full time also, yours being part time, yes, longer transition time.

If you feel that enough is enough, then by all means, dont feel as though you have to put up with it. Term if you need to. Then next kid could be a dream.

KingstonMom
02-08-2012, 08:11 PM
Also, I agree with playfelt. Alot of my kids love pasta, but will only eat it with just butter on it. Then thats what I will seve to them. (along with carrot sticks and cucumber if they feel like eating veg that day) I do not fight over eating meals. The parents can worry about their kid getting proper nutrition, I will always offer it to them anyways. I dont force feed here!
My 3 and 4 yr old esp have suddenly become picky about any sauce on their pasta.
I dont always buy whole wheat pasta, whatever is on sale to be honest. How many nutrients are they really getting from whole wheat anyways?? a carbohydrate is a carbohydrate! whole wheat is not whole grain anyways.
I think we need a new thread about daycare foods now! :) good luck!

suemaria
02-09-2012, 08:38 AM
in response to preparing hot lunches 90% of the time... i do this as well but what helps is having much of it precut/prepared in advance... and i understand the need to have children follow your program but this is where i always have a hard time... and i am not a parent so no bias for parenting interests... you are taking a real child/infant from their mother/father/home, no real transition, no opportunity to get use to new environenment, new people comfortably, you are asking a one year old to get with the program. do you get what you are asking??? there is a way to get them there without expecting them to just follow suit. this is the most important time for children as it will affect them later in life. you need as a caregiver to understand children better, be better educated. they require nurturing, understanding, patience. this does not mean catering to them either. there is a balance that can take place but you have to be open to it. i work closely with the parents to understand their lives thus far, ie, the people around them, sleeping, eating patterns. then i work with gentle transition as this leaves way less stress on the children, then on me. within days, the children start to become accustomed to what i do otherwise in the program. the important part in the beginning is making a smooth transition, then adjusting them to your program to suit your schedule which should be realistic as well. it works and unless you try this, you cant really knock it. i have transitioned the most complicated situations, with patience, without issue following this. and to me, it makes sense. know your child before you decide what you are doing for them. way too many times, home programs follow regime that is so structured that an adult wouldn't be able to follow or keep up with expectations and people ask that of an infant etc. i would be unsettled if when starting my exploration in learning and growing and developing, you plopped me in a highchair for half hour to an hour with a basket of toys too. do you have somewhere else for her to sit? be? where are the other children at this time? do you have options for other activities? i do art, books, games, songs... it all depends on your set up. then again, i am use to running programs with 60 children and ten staff, so transitioning to 5 children at home is a heck of a lot simpler... i am not trying to be offensive, i just know that what i do works. i do as much as possible to prepare them for real life. not just my own schedule and needs.

Crayola kiddies
02-09-2012, 08:50 AM
Pfft !!! : (

Cadillac
02-09-2012, 09:01 AM
You have to learn to tune out the crying. I had a nine month old like this. Serious separation anxiety with me. I couldn't even go pee.
It took months for him to get comfortable. but he is now the happiest child in my daycare, is my own kids best friend/boyfriend.
I had to train him slowly. First he was allowed to follow me everywhere I went ( would even call him to come with me) but he was on the ground, then when he was comfortable i would leave the room for a couple minutes and call to him if he was crying and let him come find me but I wouldn't pick him up I would talk until he stopped, the periods then got longer and longer until he was comfortable and had made some friends.

You have to like the kid though. Lets be honest, we dont have the patience or understanding we need if we just aren't loving this kid. There was something about this boy I loved even though his screams were PIERCING. I was close to letting him go.

I also had the parents do the same thing at home that I was doing here. continuity is KEY!

But if you just cant stand her, she's better off somewhere else anyways

Sandbox Sally
02-09-2012, 01:19 PM
"in response to preparing hot lunches 90% of the time... i do this as well but what helps is having much of it precut/prepared in advance"

It is difficult to precut and prepare when you have your own family who need you in the evenings. Many of us work until 5:30 or later, then we clean up, then we make dinner, do homework, get kids ready for bath and bed. When do you suggest we find time to do this precutting/preparing?

"you need as a caregiver to understand children better, be better educated."

Um...are you and Skysue personal friends? How do you know how much education she has, or how well she understand children. I think this is a bold and insensitive statement.

"way too many times, home programs follow regime that is so structured that an adult wouldn't be able to follow or keep up with expectations and people ask that of an infant etc"

Again, are you well acquainted with the original poster? What do you know about her expectations? Some serious insinuations are present here. As a home care provider, I am CERTAIN that my structure is a lot looser than any daycare centre in this large city!

"i am not trying to be offensive"

You may not have been trying, but you certainly ARE. Thanks for your two cents.

Sandbox Sally
02-09-2012, 01:21 PM
If she is good at circletime you could also go under the assumption that she has been held, read to , sang to etc and what she is totally lacking is play skills. She may be totally overwhelmed by toys and not know what to do with them. Have had this many times from kids who were with grandparents till they turned 18m-24m and then parents wanted them with other kids but the kids had no idea what to do with other kids. We had to start at step one and actually demonstrate how to use the toy of the day.

Thanks, playfelt! I have a similar situation as described, and that makes perfect sense now. I will spend more time on the floor with my LO and see if that makes a difference.

Skysue
02-09-2012, 01:22 PM
in response to preparing hot lunches 90% of the time... i do this as well but what helps is having much of it precut/prepared in advance... and i understand the need to have children follow your program but this is where i always have a hard time... and i am not a parent so no bias for parenting interests... you are taking a real child/infant from their mother/father/home, no real transition, no opportunity to get use to new environenment, new people comfortably, you are asking a one year old to get with the program. do you get what you are asking??? there is a way to get them there without expecting them to just follow suit. this is the most important time for children as it will affect them later in life. you need as a caregiver to understand children better, be better educated. they require nurturing, understanding, patience. this does not mean catering to them either. there is a balance that can take place but you have to be open to it. i work closely with the parents to understand their lives thus far, ie, the people around them, sleeping, eating patterns. then i work with gentle transition as this leaves way less stress on the children, then on me. within days, the children start to become accustomed to what i do otherwise in the program. the important part in the beginning is making a smooth transition, then adjusting them to your program to suit your schedule which should be realistic as well. it works and unless you try this, you cant really knock it. i have transitioned the most complicated situations, with patience, without issue following this. and to me, it makes sense. know your child before you decide what you are doing for them. way too many times, home programs follow regime that is so structured that an adult wouldn't be able to follow or keep up with expectations and people ask that of an infant etc. i would be unsettled if when starting my exploration in learning and growing and developing, you plopped me in a highchair for half hour to an hour with a basket of toys too. do you have somewhere else for her to sit? be? where are the other children at this time? do you have options for other activities? i do art, books, games, songs... it all depends on your set up. then again, i am use to running programs with 60 children and ten staff, so transitioning to 5 children at home is a heck of a lot simpler... i am not trying to be offensive, i just know that what i do works. i do as much as possible to prepare them for real life. not just my own schedule and needs.

I actually found you to be extremely offensive. I had her sit in high chair due to the fact that she was playing with the stove, so in my opinion her safety comes first. So what music, & art program do you run while you are preparing lunch. Please enlighten me. You keep mentioning program actually 5 times in your post but I have yet to hear how that runs.

I also mentioned in this post that I tried to not use the high chair the next day and it was a bit better for her. This child won’t interact with the other kids she gets upset if they touch her. During meal prep time I usually play a Raffi video, the little ones love it and sit and sing or ignore the video and go to the playroom and have free play. I have sight lines to all the kids at all times.

I don't have a structured program; I go with the flow of the kids, as do parents in the real world. I fully understand this child’s needs and I do also understand why she is so stressed. It is also very stressful on all when someone is constantly crying. I do my best to be close to her and at those moments its good but if I get up for 1 second she cries.

Parents these days engage their child’s activity 100% of the time. It is so sad to me when a 12-18 month old can’t engage in imaginative play on there own.

So yes this transition is extremely important for this little one and she is in a loving, caring, safe environment.

You make it sound like you never have these challenges as your some kind of a perfect provider? I’m sorry but I joined this site to discuss the real world with people going through the same motions.

I find that quite a few people on this site that have degrees in ECE tend to have a lack of respect for us that don’t. I have educated myself and I do take my profession very seriously. Like I said in previous posts I don’t care the amount of education you have, watching children in a successful manor is a gift and not all have it.

Skysue
02-09-2012, 01:25 PM
You have to learn to tune out the crying. I had a nine month old like this. Serious separation anxiety with me. I couldn't even go pee.
It took months for him to get comfortable. but he is now the happiest child in my daycare, is my own kids best friend/boyfriend.
I had to train him slowly. First he was allowed to follow me everywhere I went ( would even call him to come with me) but he was on the ground, then when he was comfortable i would leave the room for a couple minutes and call to him if he was crying and let him come find me but I wouldn't pick him up I would talk until he stopped, the periods then got longer and longer until he was comfortable and had made some friends.

You have to like the kid though. Lets be honest, we dont have the patience or understanding we need if we just aren't loving this kid. There was something about this boy I loved even though his screams were PIERCING. I was close to letting him go.

I also had the parents do the same thing at home that I was doing here. continuity is KEY!

But if you just cant stand her, she's better off somewhere else anyways

She's so freaking cute and sweet! i can take it! LOL

Momof4
02-09-2012, 06:25 PM
Skysue, I'm transitioning a baby girl who is so cute too but the crying is still making us crazy. She gets a little better every day though thank goodness.

Suemaria: paragraphs please!

mom-in-alberta
02-10-2012, 02:38 AM
Suemaria: you are relatively new to this forum, I believe? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but please re-read your post. It came off incredibly abrasive and high handed. Not very helpful, which is what we providers are supposed to be for each other.

Skysue: no new advice, but what Flex suggested seems like a great idea! (Gradual, coached independence)
Best of luck with this!!

Skysue
02-10-2012, 12:28 PM
Suemaria: you are relatively new to this forum, I believe? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but please re-read your post. It came off incredibly abrasive and high handed. Not very helpful, which is what we providers are supposed to be for each other.

Skysue: no new advice, but what Flex suggested seems like a great idea! (Gradual, coached independence)
Best of luck with this!!

The Gradual, coached method is going amazing! Cheers!

DisneyPrincess
02-21-2012, 01:48 PM
I have that crying all the time problem with a future full time darling, shes only 10 months so its hard for her of course, good thing that she started the transition now 2 days a week before mom goes back to work. We started out 2 hours a day, now its half a day, next week we'll try full day. Now Im off on vacation for 2 weeks in march and Im afraid when I come back and she starts full time, all this transition will have been for nothing and have to start over after my vacation... :\ At first she didnt want me near her, talk to her or even look at her... she would scream and cry hahaha... at least now she wants to be in my arms, but I am slowly trying to let her down so she can unvelcro herself to me and start playing with the friends or on her own :O Poor doll is exhausted from crying, my (for now) two other kids are so sweet with her and dont seemed bothered by her crying. Hope it will only get better as I have more kids starting also after my vacation :D