View Full Version : Ignore technique

02-10-2012, 09:24 AM
I was feeling really frustrated and am sure was sounding like a broken record. "share" "please don't take that toy". So, I tried an experiment yesterday. In my head I was thinking, they know this is wrong, I'm not teaching them something new...just nagging (reinforcing) the point over and over. So, I just sat back and ignored those situations between my 2 year olds. Obviously, there were exceptions (any sort of physical violence, bullying etc.). I was amazed. I honestly assumed the bully would remain the bully and think "cool, I can just take what I want".
At first, they would just stop and look at me (hmm how come I'm not getting in trouble). As the day progressed those behaviours were more and more infrequent and I was a lot less stressed. No idea if this is the right thing to do, or if it would work long term, but it was a great day!

02-10-2012, 11:06 AM
There is certainly something to be said for kids work things out for themselves unless as you say physical harm is involved. It also helps to observe who is the bully and who lets himself be bullied just for your attention too and how often the roles change.

We also have to remember that not all play rules are for all ages and expecting sharing, taking turns, not hurting another child's feelings, understanding what it means to say sorry or chewing with our mouths closed are not always appropriate expectations and we have to turn a blind eye for a few months/years till it is.

02-10-2012, 11:26 AM
It does work! I have a 15 months old cutie who has a habit of pulling her hair. I used to say "it will hurt you if you pull your hair" and gentle removed her hand from her head. She did carry on and I stopped asking her. Now she hardly pulls her hair. I also told her parents to ignore the "bad" behaviour and praise the good ones. No treat tho. Just clapping hands would do. Kids are easy to please huh :)

02-11-2012, 02:51 AM
It can be hard to step back and let kids work it out themselves. I actually started doing this with my own kids a while ago. I can be bit of a control freak, and I hate the sound of them bickering... but they need to learn to figure things out, right? And discover some natural consequences (ie; if I behave like a jerk, nobody will want to play?).