busydaycarelady
02-14-2012, 11:52 AM
Hello! I look after a 7.5 year old girl. I have for the last 2 years. At first, I thought she was simply a bit spoiled and selfish, but that with consistency and kindness she'd improve. Things have slowly but progressively gotten worse. Current behaviors include:
-habitual lying about anything and everything
-constant arguing
-tantrums worse than any others I've seen, including the 2 year old I look after
-refusal to respect all FEMALE forms of authority
-grabbing from toddlers
-attempting to manipulate the adults in her life to bend to her will as well as to try to create conflict between them - this has been steadily and quickly growing worse
-saying dirty "toilet" words all the time
-causing conflict in general
When she succeeds in angering someone or hurting their feelings, she is visibly very satisfied and has told me a couple times "You're upset and that's funny". Ive tried a reward system for good behavior also praising good behavior when I see it. Both of these methods made behavior 10 times WORSE, for some odd reason. I always follow through on discipline(which consists of time outs) and talk to parents about problems behaviors. Mom and dad are separated 2 years now and initially tried to win over her(but not the younger sibling who is 4 years younger and very well behaved). They'd take her to special outings, movies, restaurants, fairs, buy her clothes, perfume, take her to the nail salon even, but the younger one got to play at home by herself during these times. They say, "All kids act like this or she's so strong willed or we are very strict and don't know why she does this." They truly can't be bothered and seem to believe she will "out grow" this behavior. The younger one tells me the older one breaks her toys at home and hits her and mom and dad don't do anything. It is my opinion that she truly has a problem like ODD maybe? I suggested she may have an emotional issue and they should maybe take her for a counselling session to see, but they got really mad. I understand how hard it is to face that reality that your child may have an issue but wouldn't you rather deal with it than ignore it? Anyhow, I've held on to them because I thought maybe I can make a difference but obviously I haven't. ANd I really enjoy the younger kid being here, but I suppose it is time to say good bye to this family. Has anyone else dealt with this type of situation? nd advice or ideas? Sorry this is such a novel, I have really struggled with this and just wanted a little feedback.
-habitual lying about anything and everything
-constant arguing
-tantrums worse than any others I've seen, including the 2 year old I look after
-refusal to respect all FEMALE forms of authority
-grabbing from toddlers
-attempting to manipulate the adults in her life to bend to her will as well as to try to create conflict between them - this has been steadily and quickly growing worse
-saying dirty "toilet" words all the time
-causing conflict in general
When she succeeds in angering someone or hurting their feelings, she is visibly very satisfied and has told me a couple times "You're upset and that's funny". Ive tried a reward system for good behavior also praising good behavior when I see it. Both of these methods made behavior 10 times WORSE, for some odd reason. I always follow through on discipline(which consists of time outs) and talk to parents about problems behaviors. Mom and dad are separated 2 years now and initially tried to win over her(but not the younger sibling who is 4 years younger and very well behaved). They'd take her to special outings, movies, restaurants, fairs, buy her clothes, perfume, take her to the nail salon even, but the younger one got to play at home by herself during these times. They say, "All kids act like this or she's so strong willed or we are very strict and don't know why she does this." They truly can't be bothered and seem to believe she will "out grow" this behavior. The younger one tells me the older one breaks her toys at home and hits her and mom and dad don't do anything. It is my opinion that she truly has a problem like ODD maybe? I suggested she may have an emotional issue and they should maybe take her for a counselling session to see, but they got really mad. I understand how hard it is to face that reality that your child may have an issue but wouldn't you rather deal with it than ignore it? Anyhow, I've held on to them because I thought maybe I can make a difference but obviously I haven't. ANd I really enjoy the younger kid being here, but I suppose it is time to say good bye to this family. Has anyone else dealt with this type of situation? nd advice or ideas? Sorry this is such a novel, I have really struggled with this and just wanted a little feedback.