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Cocoon
03-08-2012, 10:51 AM
Hi girls.

As the heading states I'm in dilemma.

There are 2 families who wants to place their babies in my care. One family wants immediate care(family A). The second family(family B) will start in April.

The family A seems really nice and it seem our views are same in terms of feeding, routines, disciplining etc. Now, family B is also seems nice too. I haven't met with her husband and her son yet as they are outside the country but will be back this weekend.
I have seen her son's photo and he is a sweetheart!

Now, I know I may sound petty minded but I did not get the immediate warmth feelings from the family A's baby. Don't get me wrong he is cute and he is baby and babies are cute :) But with family B's baby, even though I did not see him face to face but I've got that warmth feeling. He look very sweet and cute and all:)

My heart wants to pick the family B and she said she can not afford to pay me my 2 weeks fee to hold the spot and can only pay $100 to keep the spot until April.

Family A wants to start straight away(next Monday if I can). So, If I pick family B, I will loose 3 weeks pay. But If I pick family A I won't, as they want to start immediately.
I have to let family A by this afternoon whether I'm offering them space or not. What would you do? Would you offer the spot to family A or B?

Thank you.
Cocoon

sunnydays
03-08-2012, 11:11 AM
Honestly, I would go with Family A. The fact that Family B `can`t afford` to pay your fee to hold the spot is a red flag especially if that is your policy and you'd be bending it for them. Bending policies right from the beginning is not a good idea. In terms of the baby of Family A, I am sure he/she will grow on you. I don't always get a feeling of "oh he's so cute" about babies during interviews, but once you get to know them, they become adorable :) I would never base a decision based on the "cuteness"factor" ;) Thanks for posting honestly!

michellesmunchkins
03-08-2012, 11:15 AM
I would NEVER hold a spot for a family whose child I have yet to meet. Photos are one thing (as a photographer for my side job I know how cute and sweet they look in photos and I also know the hell they put me through to get said photo lol). Always go with your gut. The not being able to afford is a red flag for me now too. If you start off bending your rules, they may take advantage of this and bend even more rules. Not saying for sure they will, but I'm always hesitant when I hear 'can't afford' before care even starts. Just my 2 cents :)

jec
03-08-2012, 11:20 AM
I agree with kangaroomama when she says that your bending your policies right from the get go. That might and probably will lead to other times that she will expect you to bend on something else. First impressions aren't always right and you may find baby A to be sweetheart once you both get to know each other.
Also...for me, I would want to meet everyone before I make a choice to bring someone on for care. I would need to meet both the husband and the little one joining our daycare before I bring them into my home.
Good luck!! Let us know...

Spixie33
03-08-2012, 11:47 AM
I think you really want to pick child B so why not meet them over the weekend face to face and then if you like them - sign them?

Three weeks is not a lot of income to lose if it means you feel comfortable with your decision, at peace and can see yourself happier with family B.

I have held a spot for MONTHS without holding fee before because i felt so strongly about the family and the personality of the child.

I don't necessarily judge kids by their looks (to some extent I do) but personality is HUGE.

Also...you mentioned they were out of the country presently. Is that going to happen frequently and do you have it worked out whether they get that time off from daycare etc?

and LASTLY -- YAY for you ! Two families to pick from is the ideal place to be ! Thank your lucky stars . lol I wish I had one decent family that I meshed with and you've got two. Either way it sounds like it should be okay...but it is your business so do what makes YOU happy.

And when she says she cannot 'afford' the holding fee for 2 weeks -- I take that as her just fibbing because she doesn't want to or see the value of doing that and losing that money. I think a lot of people would say the same thing to get out of paying the money. Just be careful that you are firm on your policies and stress them again to her if you decide to go with them because you don't want her to think that you are toooooo nice either :)

Lou
03-08-2012, 12:11 PM
"I don't necessarily judge kids by their looks (to some extent I do) but personality is HUGE."

^^^ This made me LMAO!!! :laugh:

My best advice would be to follow your instincts...intuitio n should tell you who to go with!

Cadillac
03-08-2012, 12:21 PM
It really does sound like you already have your heart set on family B.

I see what the others are talking about with the red flags but I think you have to do what you think would make YOU happy. Three weeks isn't a long time at all. You're not losing income that you never really had in the first place.

I've also waited months for the right fit. It was worth it.

Cocoon
03-08-2012, 12:25 PM
Thank you girls for your replies.

I should have make this clear on my first post. She is not saying she can't afford my fee, she is saying she can't afford to pay my two weeks holding fee. I'm already loosing 1 week's fee as there are 3 weeks left in this month and I wouldn't loose that one week even if I pick the family A. By the way, I have stall my decision for a week already for family B. As her son and her husband could not make it last week which they supposed to.

She says other day homes only charging $100 to hold the spot but my situation is different as I have a family who wants the care to start immediately. So I guess I would be in a position to ask 2 weeks fee. She probably thinks it's not fair on her. Would you do the same? Ask 2 weeks if you were in my position?

The 2 weeks holding fee may be too much for her. But on my email I have asked her to take my situation into consideration and suggest an alternate option for a holding fee that seems workable to both of us. And she did not suggest anything.

I think I know what I'm going to do.

By the way, I'm not accepting or refusing any family because of their childs' look. I'm only saying the "warmth feelings" when you first meet with anyone really:)

Sandbox Sally
03-08-2012, 12:31 PM
I would absolutely go with family A, personally. The immediate start date and that you had a good feeling about them, despite their standoffish baby ;) would be enough for me.

lunademiel
03-08-2012, 01:08 PM
From my VERY little experience, my first impression of my little DCG that I am currently having problems with, was that she is so cute, I can already feel I'm going to connect with the one! BOY was I WRONG!!!!!

Just something to think about :)

playfelt
03-08-2012, 01:20 PM
The biggest red flag for both families for me is why do they need care so suddenly. Here families interview at least a couple months before needing care and some more. A family needing immediate care would need to explain to me why with the idea of they are just a terrible procrastinating family - expect them to never bring anything on time so ask for diapers a month in advance, was grandma going to look after them and changed their mind, are they on a wait list for a daycare centre but not in yet that is the most common one around here meaning they are gone at a moment's notice. I would want to know why I am the back up plan for sure.

For family B I personally don't think she should be expected to pay anything to hold the space for three weeks. It is normal to interview at least a month in advance and thoset three weeks will be used for transition so I would only be charging her for those days. It is like you are goading her into paying - pay up or I will take baby A instead. Loss of income is not baby B's problem if you choose them.

For baby B why they are out of the country might be an issue if it was something that was going to happen frequently to make sure family knew they would have to pay regardless of attendance.

Do be aware that there is always the possibility of turning down baby A only to find by the time they get to the interview stage that baby B no longer needs care because they found someone else in the meantime.

Inspired by Reggio
03-08-2012, 01:33 PM
Yup when faced with 'two' choices that are both a match and only one spaces my practice has always been to go with the first one willing and able to sign the contract, pay the deposit and START ... family B has many red flags to me and I will not sign a contract with anyone until I have met BOTH parents in they are in the picture and the child in fact I will not set up an interview unless ALL can attend cause I do not like wasting MY time by having to do multiple interviews with the same family ... you are inviting this family into your HOME and the mother, the father AND the child need to be a match for you and your program ... not to be sexist but there are men whom I would NOT want in my home daily because they are disrespectful and abusive to women and sorry but not having 'met' with the father or child of family B would be a HUGE NO GO for me ... I empathize with this women that they are not 'in the country' but that sadly is not YOUR issue either .... like others have said I have care for many a CUTE child whose photos make you think of angels but whose PERSONALITY is equally opposite ;)

sunnydays
03-08-2012, 01:53 PM
I have had a couple of families interview and sign with me who needed care immediately and they have both been absolutely great! One mother had been offered a contract which started right away and was going back to work early (grandparents had stepped in while they found a daycare). The other family was changing daycares because their current provider had changed her hours and it no longer worked for them. I don't think last minute always means that there will be problems...just find out why.




The biggest red flag for both families for me is why do they need care so suddenly. Here families interview at least a couple months before needing care and some more. A family needing immediate care would need to explain to me why with the idea of they are just a terrible procrastinating family - expect them to never bring anything on time so ask for diapers a month in advance, was grandma going to look after them and changed their mind, are they on a wait list for a daycare centre but not in yet that is the most common one around here meaning they are gone at a moment's notice. I would want to know why I am the back up plan for sure.

For family B I personally don't think she should be expected to pay anything to hold the space for three weeks. It is normal to interview at least a month in advance and thoset three weeks will be used for transition so I would only be charging her for those days. It is like you are goading her into paying - pay up or I will take baby A instead. Loss of income is not baby B's problem if you choose them.

For baby B why they are out of the country might be an issue if it was something that was going to happen frequently to make sure family knew they would have to pay regardless of attendance.

Do be aware that there is always the possibility of turning down baby A only to find by the time they get to the interview stage that baby B no longer needs care because they found someone else in the meantime.