Nightmares

[jec]

My own dd is having nightmares and it's breaking my heart. I can hear her whining during the night and will wake me up telling me about her nightmare. It' breaking my heart.
Does anyone have any natural remedies that they can share or ideas on how to make things better for her?
I have a night light on that puts stars on her ceiling and a night light on the wall. The bathroom light is left on too to have some light from the hall. She will sleep with us, I will sleep with her and she still has them. I know they are a normal part of childhood but I'm open to hearing anything that might help her.

[Cadillac]

Sounds weird but make sure her room is clean. When you wake up scared, seeing clutter, craziness, or weird toy shadows can make it worse.

Read VERY happy storied before bed. princesses and teddy bears and kitty cats. NO EVIL WITCHES GOBLINS OR MAYHEM!. Then you talk abotu the story for a minute or two. talk about how wonderful it would be to be a princess. Tell her to dream of the things she would do and tell her you can't wait to hear it in the morning. Send her to sleep with thoughts of rainbows and clouds and blowing bubbles. The cornier the better. The nightmares can cease or decrease with subconscious hints to dream of better things.

[Momof4]

Flex is right, the calmer the evening and bedtime routine, the better. If you can sing to her a bit, read her a cutesy story, rub her forehead and her head and just soothe her to sleep it will help. Make sure the nightlight isn't making any shadows that will scare her and don't let anybody tell her that 'don't let the bedbugs bite' thing. That used to scare the heck out of me! Also that prayer about 'if I die before I wake' made me scared to go to sleep when I was little because I thought I was going to die in my sleep. My point is that we just never know what might seem simple to an adult is really scary for a little child. Talk to her.

My son had night terrors for a while when he was young and that was horrible because children are not awake or aware but their eyes are open. You can at least rule that out because your little one remembers what's happened.

Also, make sure she isn't just playing you for a fool. Kids are smart! Good way to get to sleep with Mom & Dad!

[jec]

Thanks for the help ladies. Yes, she is smart one and loves to cuddle in bed with us ;)
She is whining though in her sleep and it's becoming too often for me. She has had a lot of changes in her life in the past 7 months. We moved cities, started a new school- left her old friends behind but making great new ones! We lost our cat before moved here.
We read every night before bed...but, I'm going to be more selective with the books we read. More teddy bears and kitty cats like you mentioned.
The girls and I always pick something to dream about. Last night was actually going to play with Strawberry shortcake and have a picnic with her and her friends. I think I might try some soothing music too.
I'm going to pick up some Rescue Sleep that someone recommended - homeopathic and hopefully that will help as well.

[Cadillac]

Careful using the music. Those kinda of sleep habits tend to follow people into adulthood.

[jec]

Careful using the music. Those kinda of sleep habits tend to follow people into adulthood.
What do you mean, she will rely on it to fall asleep?

[playfelt]

The nightmare phase is usually short lived. Try not to let her be overtired when she goes to bed. Do not dwell on the nightmares. Maybe even not talk about dreaming before going to bed as that might have her scared falling asleep if she knows her dreams are not nice ones no matter what she starts out doing.

Unless the child actually screams and wakes herself up let her be. Trying to wake her up fully may actually make it worse. Read up on night terrors which a form of nightmares that kids get. Some will even sleepwalk during one and then not remember it in the morning.

[jec]

Thankfully she doesn't have night terrors ~ they don't wake up during that :(

[Inspired by Reggio]

Totally a normal stage where children develop the deeper sense of imagination combined with the brain grasping the concept of 'fear' ... it usually starts around 3 for more kids and can last a while depending on the child.... I agree with a consistent sleep routine, time to wind down without any TV and some nice 'cheery imaged' books.

I know one of things that has worked with some kids is helping them gain 'control' over there imaginations cause that is all bad dreams are is the brain and imagination trying to make sense of images and things in our daily lives ... the reality is that if you are having a bad dream you CAN change it yourself in your dreams by telling it to 'go away' and meaning it and so forth ... I had nightmares myself for years after a traumatic incident in my life and ended up going to sleep counseling for them cause I was getting insomnia being afraid to sleep.

Imagery is another great form for 'dealing' with nightmares and sleep issues ... as an adult one of the things they suggested for me was to write down my 'worries' into a paper and put them in a box with a lock and that was where they were to stay for the night some my mind was clear ... it SOUNDS dumb but it really does work - I do the same thing with my back pain although not as successful it does help a bit to make it 'less' painful.

With children that is a little too complex but one thing that I have suggested to clients in this position is to make a 'dream catcher' with their child, talk about what dreams ARE and how the dream catchers job is to catch the 'scary images' before they enter our dreams but if one 'slips by' its ok you do not have to be scared you just tell it in your dream 'you are not suppose to be here go away' and that will alert the catcher to come take it away again.

[playfelt]

I love the idea of the child having a dream catcher and explaining how to use it.

[mom-in-alberta]

My 4 yr old daughter has both nightmares and night terrors (which have happened in the middle of the day, while she was asleep in the van. While we were driving!! Holy crud, that was awful).
They seem to be getting better. I like all the above suggestions. A nice warm bath to unwind goes a long way, too.
We talked to her about hitting the `stop `button DURING the dream. I don`t know how much that has helped. I also taught her to sing a song if she wakes up afraid. We chose Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We told her to sing it quietly to herself, and that way she will know that she is ok, it was just a dream and that she has control. It`s like a touchpoint for her.

[jec]

I have suggested to clients in this position is to make a 'dream catcher' with their child, talk about what dreams ARE and how the dream catchers job is to catch the 'scary images' before they enter our dreams but if one 'slips by' its ok you do not have to be scared you just tell it in your dream 'you are not suppose to be here go away' and that will alert the catcher to come take it away again.
Part of my culture is Native Indian and she has one proudly hanging from her bed. Thanks for the other suggestions Reggio. I never talked to her about just telling them to go away. Simple and might just help. Thanks!

[Dreamalittledream]

Something that worked for us is "ghostbusters" spray...we put water in a spray can and some lavender (you can use anything that has a scent). We would spray each area of his room every night and it worked immediately!

[MarthaHPieperPhD]

I am an experienced child therapist and came across your discussion about nightmares. In my experience, once children calm down from the bad dream, parents can help by explaining that "dreams are stories we tell ourselves for a reason -- we just have to understand the reason." Then parents can think with them about upsetting events that occurred the previous day that might have caused the bad dream. Typical experiences that can cause bad dreams are: fights with siblings or friends; getting in trouble at home or school; losing something important; being ill and having to stay home, etc. To facilitate this process of helping children understand their bad dreams, I have written a children's book coming out in April of 2012 entitled Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream! for ages three and up (www.mommydaddyihada baddream.com).

[jec]

I am an experienced child therapist and came across your discussion about nightmares. In my experience, once children calm down from the bad dream, parents can help by explaining that "dreams are stories we tell ourselves for a reason -- we just have to understand the reason." Then parents can think with them about upsetting events that occurred the previous day that might have caused the bad dream. Typical experiences that can cause bad dreams are: fights with siblings or friends; getting in trouble at home or school; losing something important; being ill and having to stay home, etc. To facilitate this process of helping children understand their bad dreams, I have written a children's book coming out in April of 2012 entitled Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream! for ages three and up (www.mommydaddyihada baddream.com).
I'm pre-ordering my copy!
Thanks for replying Martha and I'll be sure to post your book on my fb and spread the word that you stepped up to give some advice.