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View Full Version : Has this ever happened to you?!?!



samantha3
03-23-2012, 10:23 PM
Hello,

So, I am going for vacation next week and I have a mother call me and tell me that she forgot her sons favorite shoes. I let her know that she could come by later that night as I would be home.

At around seven pm she shows up to my apartment (does not buzz in, no idea how she got in???) and then just walks right into my place. She did not knock.

I am not sure what to do about this because I feel it was very disruptive to my privacy and my partners privacy, he was very upset about it.

Any advice on this subject? I will not see this family for two weeks as of tomorrow and not sure how to approach it as I believe she crossed a line. I would never walk into someones home without knocking...

Thanks for the advice :)

parentof1
03-23-2012, 10:53 PM
AFTER DAYCARE HOURS YOU KNOCK IN FACT ANYTIME YOU KNOCK. I'd nip it right in the buD, and send her an email saying that while you understand her need to get the shoes, that you will not tolerate disrespect, and that in fact you felt disrespected--A friend of mine has a three strike policy, and this would def be one of those for her! HOW RUDE!

Momof4
03-24-2012, 05:44 AM
Well first of all, don't you lock your door? Yikes! My door is locked 24/7 and I live in a much smaller city than Vancouver! Yes, I agree that is very disrespecful!

sunnydays
03-24-2012, 08:43 AM
This has not happened to me, but I would definitely send an email letting her know that you do not have an open door policy, especially when the daycare is closed and that in the future you would relaly appreciate it if she could knock or ring the bell. I wouldn't make it confrontational, just a friendly email to let her know. Maybe end it on a positive like "have a great two weeks and I look forward to seeing you and *** when we get back". As it is the first time, I would treat it like that. If you make it too confrontational, she will get defensive and things may get worse. Now, if she does it again after you have told her, that is different...then I would be giving her a warning of termination.

jec
03-24-2012, 09:03 AM
This has not happened to me, but I would definitely send an email letting her know that you do not have an open door policy, especially when the daycare is closed and that in the future you would relaly appreciate it if she could knock or ring the bell. I wouldn't make it confrontational, just a friendly email to let her know. Maybe end it on a positive like "have a great two weeks and I look forward to seeing you and *** when we get back". As it is the first time, I would treat it like that. If you make it too confrontational, she will get defensive and things may get worse. Now, if she does it again after you have told her, that is different...then I would be giving her a warning of termination.
Yikes ~ how uncomfortable for you to have to deal with this!! :ohmy:
I would send her an email but remember that emails can be taken the wrong way with the best intentions when being sent. Like kanga says, don't make it confrontational. She will get her back up as she obviously feels like she wasn't crossing the line and maybe really comfortable with you.

I like Kanga's idea of your open door policy but after daycare hours please knock as it's not just you in in the apartment

Lou
03-24-2012, 08:46 PM
Awkward!!! Maybe she thinks that you're better friend than you really are?! Still!
Yeah, don't make it confrontational. Wish her a happy 2 weeks and say something like "...and if you wouldn't mind knocking next time you come over after daycare hours, that would be great! Thanks!" lol

mom-in-alberta
03-27-2012, 04:32 AM
Although it's weird, and rude.... I don't know that I would say anything. As Lisa mentioned, she obviously feels like you are "closer" in relationship, than you do. If she sees you as a friend, in any sense, this may be normal behaviour for her. My friends just give a quick knock and then come on in.
However, if it happened again; I would mention it. I would make it a joke "Hey, can you do me a favor and knock/ring the bell? Hubby is worried you might see him in his undies, hahaha". Of course, this only works for after hours visits!! If you said this about visits during the day.... they may call the cops, LoL.

Cadillac
03-27-2012, 08:19 AM
I'd probably just start locking my door. I agree that this means she feels comfortable (regardless or how rude it was) She might have even saw your face or heard you sputter and probably figured out this was not ok.

If she did it again I'd say something (nicely though)

Stuff about tolerating disrespect and not having an open door policy, and so on . . ., . . . well . . . . I think we need to treat these types of relationships less 'business like' since they trust us with their children. That sort of alters our type relationship a little.

Sunflower
03-27-2012, 09:34 AM
What :ohmy: she just walked it ??
What if you or your husband had been naked.. just got out of the shower... whatever..
That's just rude !

If you are uncomfortable confronting her you can just lock your door.. or even have a sign on the door that says to knock before coming in.

Some people!
I don't have that issue with the parents . but the grandparents.
When ever they come to pick upi the kids they always try the door without knocking and each time I tell them they must knock as it will NEVER be unlocked for security purposes.

Inspired by Reggio
03-27-2012, 10:27 AM
The first time a negative behaviour creeps into a client relationship I tend to approach it with a 'sarcastic joke' to lighten the conflict of it a bit so sort of playing off of Sunflower something along the lines 'Wow so glad you feel comfortable enough to just walk in the house but just a heads up that my spouse likes to air the boys after daycare hours so in the future might be best to knock to avoid any awkward encounters' .... if a client did not GET the seriousness of the request after that first time the next time the HAMMER would drop with a 'Hey tried to approach this with humor the first time while giving you the benefit of the doubt it was just a momentary lapse in judgement - however I now feel the need to address this head on - this is my HOME and you may not enter it without knocking and waiting to be 'invited' into it. I need you to respect that otherwise we are going to have a problem with service moving forward."

playfelt
03-27-2012, 02:48 PM
I don't even like it when a parent just walks in at pickup and I have said so to several with the idea that it is uncomfortable for the children to not have any warning - leaving me out of it. But the parent response was sorry thought this was a daycare. I had to remind them that at a daycare centre they walk into the building and are directed to the child's classroom they dont' just barge into the classroom unannounced. So my classroom is my entire house - knock and wait for an invite please.

mom-in-alberta
03-28-2012, 04:41 AM
During daycare hours; I try to keep my door locked.
A) safety of the kids. This way I know some axe murderer isn't barging in.
B) if parents just came right in, you know that inevitably, they are opening the door at the exact moment all hell breaks loose. Murphy's law! Johnny is going to smack Suzie, Sally is going to spill a cup of water all down her front, your phone is going to ring, and the dog will start to bark uncontrollably. That's just how it goes, and even though the provider is in total control of this barely organized chaos- I hate that look on parent's faces. "What the bleep is going on over here?"
LoL :laugh:

Sandbox Sally
03-28-2012, 01:58 PM
Holy moley. I can't IMAGINE a parent just waltzing into my home without knocking. How utterly rude and disrespectful! My door is always locked too when daycare kids are here.

Mamma_Mia
03-28-2012, 02:20 PM
Holy moley. I can't IMAGINE a parent just waltzing into my home without knocking. How utterly rude and disrespectful! My door is always locked too when daycare kids are here.

Me too. I even have a chime on the doors through our alarm system to tell me if anyone did open it without me knowing. Can't be too careful.

I'd comment about it for sure. or put a big sign saying CLOSED - Knock Please. :p