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gcj
03-27-2012, 08:04 AM
I just realized that at 34 years old I've achieved all goals I'd set for myself. Marriage, children, successful daycare allowing me to be home with my children... That's a good thing, but what's next? I could be 60 and be content. Everything has revolved around my family, and I'm happy, but I think that I need something new for me...but what? My kids are going to keep growing and depending on me less and less if I do my job properly. What will I have when they're grown?
I don't have any desire to go back to my old career after "this". I just don't know what's next. I definitely plan on doing daycare for a good 5-10 years, but there has to be something more to my life.
What type of goals do you ladies have set for yourselves? I guess my short term goal is to set goals! :p

jec
03-27-2012, 08:42 AM
I turned the big 40 last month {and coming to terms with it :laugh: }
I am always setting new goals both short and long term. You need to focus on things that you enjoy, like to do. For myself, I love to sew and make clothes for my girls. I'm going to turn this hobby into something one day that I can maybe turn into a small business. Right now my daycare is my priority and family but my hobby will hopefully one day turn into something more. I'm always taking courses to learn and grow and keep me active and learning.

Think about what you like to do...and then start a hobby- there is plenty out there for you to reach out and grab!!

Inspired by Reggio
03-27-2012, 09:21 AM
I have come to the conclusion that I am a lifer - I cannot imagine doing anything else with my days at least for an 'income'.

So my primary career goal is to help ensure my body holds out doing this so that I can hopefully one day be here for my grandkids ... I too find it helps to maintain ones passion for this role by attending course that help recharge my soul and remind me why this is the MOST IMPORTANT ROLE we could have ... just attended a conference this past weekend on 'taking play deeper - showing stakeholders the value of play' as well as an afternoon one on creating healthy attachments in a caregiver role ... both were awesome and even after 20 years in this field still picking up new tricks and strategies to make my job easier and more fun in the long run!

My goal for my personal life is make sure I stay passionate about ME as well ... as Jec mentioned having a hobby you love and one that can potentially act as an income source one day is a double plus ... I am a creative soul ... I paint, I make cards, I scrapbook and so forth to get out of the house with other adults and have meaningful conversations that stimulate my mind that are not about 3 year old interests ;)

gcj
03-27-2012, 09:54 AM
There's a very good chance that I'm doing this until retirement. I like it more than anything I've done in the past and I enjoy the numerous perks.
I'm working on a list of what I like to do and what I'd like to do/learn. I guess that's a good place to start. I'm no longer sure of what it is that I like...besides doing things with my kids. I've forgotten who I am over the past few years.

Cadillac
03-27-2012, 10:20 AM
I've still got all the normal 'life goals' ahead of me. Plan the wedding, have the wedding, buy the house, take the kid to Disney world, so on and so forth. Thinking ahead anymore makes my head hurt.

Suddenly I feel nauseous just thinking about what I'm in the process of doing . . . . aaaaaAAAHHH BILLS . . . *BARF*

Thanks a lot guys!

Caring
03-27-2012, 10:45 AM
I too stuggle with what to do after daycare - I am feeling better about it now but I did hit a patch of burnout last year that was hard to get out of... I always seem to come back to the conclusion that there isn't anything else I can do that will bring in as much money with as many perks (as many holidays as I choose, home for my kids etc) But my kids are getting older and in HS now and before I know it they will be gone - do I really want runny noses and dirty diapers forever? I think I just need to set more boundaries and see if I can stay in business with them - ie - being closed for the summer completely and having less kids - like 3-4 instead of 5 all the time...

Background info - I've been running my home daycare for 13.5 years now and have a waitlist of kids for the next few years...but some days I really think I've had enough :unsure:

Sandbox Sally
03-27-2012, 11:56 AM
I won't be doing anything after daycare. :) I just started last year, and I can't IMAGINE what I was thinking doing anything else. I love the little goobers, and I honestly think that this is the best job I've ever had, and I've had many. Well, actually, I love working with seniors almost as much, but their poops are a little more rank. Oh, that wasn't nice...lol but you know it's true.

As far as goals go, I have only ever had two goals - to be happy, and to have babies. I am very happy, and I have three gorgeous children who are my very raison d'etre. I have no more goals. I am fulfilled. Well, I kinda want a car. ;) Is that a goal?

sunnydays
03-27-2012, 12:12 PM
My goal is to keep doing daycare at least until my kids are in full-time school, but I likely will continue longer so that I can be here for them after school and on holidays. I do think that eventually I will want to go back to work outside the home and when it gets closer to that I will figure out what I want to do as I don't want to go back to teaching as I did before. I know how you feel though...my whole life revolves around my family and I don't even have time to think about a hobby...but I know that is temporary as my kids are small. I would much rather have my children than a hobby! I figure there will be lots of time later on to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life as they grow up :)

gcj
03-27-2012, 12:21 PM
I won't be doing anything after daycare. :) I just started last year, and I can't IMAGINE what I was thinking doing anything else. I love the little goobers, and I honestly think that this is the best job I've ever had, and I've had many. Well, actually, I love working with seniors almost as much, but their poops are a little more rank. Oh, that wasn't nice...lol but you know it's true.

As far as goals go, I have only ever had two goals - to be happy, and to have babies. I am very happy, and I have three gorgeous children who are my very raison d'etre. I have no more goals. I am fulfilled. Well, I kinda want a car. ;) Is that a goal?

I totally agree. I'm just realizing that maybe I need new things to achieve in order to stay happy....or maybe not. Maybe this is enough. I am happy, but I don't want to wake up a hermit one day!

Judy Trickett
03-27-2012, 12:29 PM
I just discovered, after much self-observation that in the last year I have gone through a bit of a mid-life crisis with regard to daycare. I am a 'doer'. I have always been a career ladder climber. I have always been the "best of my class" both in school and in the job market (before my own kids and daycare). I used to work in a fast-paced job that required me to be very aware of things and act quickly and precisely with regard to the business and the people in the business. And by being a "doer" I was rewarded for it.

So, it occurred to me in the last little bit that I have been flailing A LOT in the last year with regard to daycare. It occurred to me that I didn't want to admit that this was 'it' for me. That my head is literally against the cold, glass ceiling of daycare. I feel I have "mastered" all I can with regard to the business side of daycare. I have no where left to go and this makes me panicky and feeling "useless".

I even went out and took additional, expensive, training this past year thinking this would be what I "needed" to feel better and more fulfilled. But now that I have that training it's not any better. I'm just a better trained, unfulfilled person.:unsure:

Just in the last week I have sort of had an epiphany........ I realized that YES, this is IT. All that I currently HAVE with regard to daycare IS as far as you can go. It doesn't get any more exciting than this. It doesn't get any better and you don't get any more recognition or reward. So then I had to remember that although this is it I should also be glad that this is it! I don't have to fight or climb or constantly feel like I am proving myself to some business hierarchy. I should be GLAD that I CAN have easy days that include sitting on a lawn chair in my back yard while getting paid.

I think sometimes we have to come full circle to realize that what we think we want isn't really what we DO want and that sometimes, just sometimes, what we want is exactly what we have.:yes:

playfelt
03-27-2012, 12:33 PM
I think it is good to have goals and options. Asking yourself the "what if..." type of question might help you start towards a new potential career. Such as what if I hurt my back and had to stop daycare what could I do - what skills do I have, what area of interest would I look into, what kind of training might I need to do that area of interest - something you could do now just to give yourself a social/adult outlet but also a security blanket for the future just in case.

Once your own children are in school all day do you want the option to go to lunch with friends - actually have the time to cultivate some adult friendships or do you want to have other small children around all day. Would you consider following your child's development and switching to just before/after school and doing something else for you in the daytime.

Hobbies that can turn into either part time or full time careers are awesome. I know some caregivers that have taken up photography or cake decorating or quilting and using the courses and training now for the social aspects and to master their craft with the idea of selling their wares when the hobby becomes the primary source of income.

I just turned 54 in February and have been doing daycare since 1984. My hubby has three years till age 60 which is when the military retires you out. At that point I am considering doing less if any daycare and building up my educational felt business allowing us to travel to sales around the province, etc. The ideal would be part time daycare Tues - Thurs leaving me Fridays and Mondays to get ready and travel to and from craft fairs, homeschool conferences, daycare workshop days etc. What I am doing now is just enough workshops and events locally to get my name known, working on a website, expanding the products offered by creating some of my own learning items that compliment the felts or using the felts in different way. When the time comes I hope to be able to offer a lot.

Now having said that - remember that it is not wrong to change, modify or abandon a dream in favour of something new.

Sandbox Sally
03-27-2012, 12:33 PM
Nicely put, Judy.

I think it's human nature to want to look ahead and try and "improve" ourselves. Sometimes, it's just not necessary! That question, "is this it?" will likely surface at some point in ALL of your life components - your marriage, your career, your parenting, your LIFE. And when you realize, as Judy says, that YES this IS it, sometimes you mourn, and sometimes you rejoice. Sometimes you do one, then the other. :)

Momof4
03-27-2012, 04:13 PM
I'm at the stage where there's more behind me than ahead of me. Now that's harsh! But I had two other careers and college education, all the while raising 4 children as a single mother. It was freaking rough! So this daycare business is my last career and I love being home every day and choosing wonderful families to be a part of my daycare life because it isn't something you just turn off at the end of the day.

treeholm
07-17-2012, 10:45 AM
I'm just starting in September, but I've had other careers (university professor most recently). I'm thinking that running a daycare is my retirement career LOL. I've been providing care for my granddaughter for 2.5 years, and it has astonished me how much fun it is, and how much more patient I am with little ones at this age than I was as a busy Mom. Although I achieved my career goals, when I got there, it wasn't satisfying. I was shocked at the politics in academia, the snobbery, the backstabbing, the gossip etc. I have never met such rude people as the other professors in my university. Not all of them, of course, but I remember coming home from my first meeting as a "real" faculty member, and telling my husband I couldn't believe I wanted to belong to that group so much... only to get there, and find out the people were awful.

I am looking forward to this new career. I may be naive, but I figure the worst day with whiny children won't be as bad as being constantly demeaned by people with PhDs who believe that the only way to feel good about yourself is to play the "I got published last week, what are YOU doing?" game....

jec
07-17-2012, 11:22 AM
Good luck on your new venture treeholm!

Naftafia
07-17-2012, 11:55 AM
Oh boy! Reading this thread is hard on my emotions! :o I personally have no idea if this "is it" or what is next. I am an occupational therapist in training, however the career I use to have no longer exists (long story short worked with motor vehicle accidents clients and insurance company... and since the legislation changed time and time again, my job has changed significantly). My kids are 3 and 1 and I love doing this, however I don't know if the motivation or drive will be the same once they are both in school. Alhough my clients are lined up for the next years (even babies that are not yet conceived :ohmy:)
All my friends and family kind of expect that i will be returning to the "real world" (as they put it) after this... but I simply don't know.
This being said, it's hard to set any type of goal! I guess for now it's to be the best mom, wife, caregiver I could be! I also want to start finding out more about me and potential hobbies.
So happy for all of you that have it figured out! :)

treeholm
07-17-2012, 12:41 PM
Thanks jec!

Momof4
07-17-2012, 03:39 PM
This career came to me quite by accident but it was the best thing that ever happened in my professional life. My daughter's home daycare that was lined up told her the space was gone and I had been sitting in my home wondering what kind of job I could find where I didn't have to deal with backstabbing co-workers. Now, I know I will be doing this until I can no longer move or people won't bring their children to an old lady any more.

Treeholm, I think I'm a lot like you and could NOT have done this job as a young mother. For some reason I was ambitious and climbing the corporate ladder and taking educational courses and always wanted to be somebody 'important'. Now, I look back on my life and realize that I already have the most important job of all. My name was Mom at age 19 and Grandma at age 38 and that's the best part of my life.

So ladies, don't stress out about your goals, they may find you and fit into place perfectly if you are open to them. But here's a tip I used. Sit back and relax and think about this, if you are not happy, what do you need or want to be happy? Once you figure that out - do it! I put it off for way too many years and the stress almost killed me.

Also, great hobbies are necessary to be happy in life. Mine change all the time, but it's really important to have your own social time with your friends once in a while or a date night with your husband. It can't be all about children all the time for you.

samantha3
07-18-2012, 09:41 AM
Wow, this thread really hits home! This is how I have been feeling lately... that being said I have enrolled in some courses that I will be taking in the fall.

As of May 2013 I will no longer be a childcare operator and will be in school full time... eek! Very excited and nervous!!!