Adhd

[lilac]

finally, FINALLY, I have 2 boys starting with me next week, just before and after school but thats all I wanted at the moment. Talked a while with mom on the phone over the weekend and met them lastnight. Lastnight mom tells me she forgot to mention on the phone that the older boy who is 9 has ADHD so I'll have to give him his medicine after school.

I have zero experiance with ADHD, and have no idea what to expect. The only thing I know and I have no idea if it is even right, is that he could be a bit hyper at times and have trouble moving from one task to another?

SO, does anyone have any advice on how or if there is anything I need to do differently with him? He very sweet! He came in our front door, big smile, saw that I had the baby in my arms, commented on how sweet he was and congradulated me!

[Inspired by Reggio]

ADHD is nothing to be afraid off - they are typically just more busy but still loving empathetic children ;)

I know with my son things I would 'avoid'

Sugary high carb snacks after school - stick to a protein and fruit to keep his sugars level .... sugar makes most normal kids to some extent but ADHD kids is 1000 full!

Avoid red food coloring foods - ketchup comes to mind, cheap jams, yogurts and so forth - again something in that which makes them excitable!

After having been in school all day the best thing for 'after school' is to go OUTSIDE for an hour and run around ;)

If it is rain day and you need to be inside - find out what he enjoys and have something available to keep him 'attentive' to it ... my son when he was young was a 'fixer' so if we need him to sit and be quiet for long period of time we give him an broken 'electronic' item and tools and let him tinker with it - he can sit for hours doing that same with making model cars, trains, planes and other things were hits as a kid, scuplting with clay - things that kept his hands busy kept hims 'mind' focused ;)

Now he is a teenager and more into playing with electronics - aka the Xbox or his electric guitar :rolleyes:

[Crayola kiddies]

A friend of mine has a son (he's an adult now) that had the same issues .... She took her child off all dyes but as reggio said especially red ....she also limited his intake of white flour products,sugary foods and cows milk

[Momof4]

First of all contratulations!

My son was adhd as a child and has grown into a wonderful successful adult but he had to learn to journal to keep things straight in his hyperactive mind as a businessman, but especailly to finish high school and university.

When he was little I could tell if he had any sugar at all or anything with food dyes in it. Read labels because food dyes and sugar are in places we don't suspect them sometimes. You won't have any problems I'm sure. If he can't focus on things just remove as many distractions as possible so that he can concentrate on one task at a time.

[lilac]

Thanks ladies!

We have about a 10min walk home that I can stretch and have the kids run around a bit, I kinda try to do that anyway as the other 7yo boy I have has a seemingly endless amount of energy as well (the Free-Spirit I've previously posted about).

His mom did say that he loves crafts and that he was excited when she told him I had asked if they liked to do crafts. So I'll be sure to have something crafty and creative for him.

I had kinda thought about the sugary snack thing, I tend to serve fruit after school anyways, with yogurt dip. Although I wouldnt have thought of the dyes in food... ketchup has red dye in it? I thought the colour was due to tomatoe...

Thanks again!

[lilac]

Just thinking about this more, Mom didnt mention anything about diet and such. Youd think she would, or is she just assuming that I know? I suppose I should be asking her. I'll ask you ladies too... hes on meds, will these different foods (dyes, sugars etc) affect him as much if hes on this medicine?

[Momof4]

I would avoid fruit which has natural sugar and try things like veggies & a sour cream based dip or nacho corn chips and salsa. The dipping keeps adhd boys occupied and interested and you are avoiding sugar. Just my experience!

But one more thought, adhd boys have already been cooped up in school all day long to concentrate which is against their nature. Don't worry about planning a craft. You may feel you are copping out on being productive but if you present it properly to the parents you are really doing what's best for the boy. Take him outside and let him PLAY!

[mom-in-alberta]

My own experience with ADHD was, unfortunately, not very positive. But that had everything to do with the parents, not the child. I was not informed of his diagnosis, until I put the pieces together and asked the parents outright. Mom and dad were in some serious denial, despite the fact that this boy was, indeed, on medication to help these issues.
She may not have mentioned diet, but it was the first thing that came up when I did a little research on my own. Some parents brush it off (such as the above mentioned ones, who sent thier kid with iced tea, Oreos, "fruit" snacks and other sugary crap), but in my opinion, it would be worth it to make the change even if it just has a little bit of an effect!
Find out from mom what the triggers tend to be for his behaviour, and what their coping mechanisms are. Does he need time on his own, does he need to be "talked down", etc. And hopefully mom/dad see the ADHD as an explanation, not as an excuse (for behavioural challenges).
One question though.... I thought the meds were given in the morning, essentially to get the child through the school day? I have not heard of afternoon meds?

[Inspired by Reggio]

.And hopefully mom/dad see the ADHD as an explanation, not as an excuse (for behavioural challenges)..

YES ... this is a pet peeve of mine as well - we have always told our son that ADHD is not an excuse to get away with things or not bother to try it means he has to try that much HARDER than everyone else to thrive in school, social settings and relationships but that these are all doable things with simple strategies and motivation on his part!


...One question though.... I thought the meds were given in the morning, essentially to get the child through the school day? I have not heard of afternoon meds?

Sometimes depending on the size and weight of the child they 'split' the dose into two doses ... my son is a bean pole and the full dose of his medication in the morning turned him into a ZOMBIE for school :( Reducing that daily dose resulted in very hard afternoons after school though - so they kept the 'dose' the same for the day but split it into two smaller pills taken 6 hours apart ... had to find that afternoon time to take it that 'worked' because if he took it too close to bedtime than he was not able to sleep and had to take a fricken pill for that.... which was frustrating for ME to watch because I HATE medications and really wish we could have approached it with diet only first - however we are a blended family and share custody and I got outvoted because at his other home they did not want to have to 'deal' with watching all his food intake or denying him ketchup or kool aid and my husband looses his manhood in front of his Ex and just does whatever she wants to avoid the tantrum that would follow :rolleyes:

[lilac]

hmmm.... I really wish she would have told me about it on the phone before I had them over for the interview so I could have learned all this stuff ahead of time and know what to expect before i agreed to take her kids. I dont understand how you can 'forget' to mention that your child has ADHD.

After school isnt going to be that bad but when I have him full time over the summer. My kids eat very, very little veggies not even with dip, but the LOVE fruit so I figured not that big a deal, at least they eat fruit. I dont serve stuff full of sugar but I also dont serve stuff that is sugar free either....

[mom-in-alberta]

There is a very negative stigma attached to kids with ADHD, so I am sure she is somewhat embarrassed. She wanted you to meet them, and get to know and love them, is what I am thinking.
I hope we don't scare you, but just prepare you for what may come along with the child. As Reggio said, it's nothing to be afraid of; just aware. I would have continued to work with the child I mentioned, were it not for his parents. When his mom went on mat leave, I breathed a sigh of relief and was conveniently "full" when she came looking for care again!!

[mom-in-alberta]

Oh, and thanks for the extra info Reggio!! Didn't know that.... and as one who is also not a fan of meds, that must have been a frustrating thing to watch.
:no:

[lilmonkeys]

As a mom with a child with ADHD, I do not advertise that he has it. I let people know on an as needed basis. I do not want my son labelled. He is a very bright, imaginative and creative child and that is what I want people to see him as. Not as Hyper or Inattentive. My son is on medication and there has been a wonderful increase in his self confidence, he can control his impulses and can concentrate on school work. Medication is not bad, it is a means for the child to learn to concentrate and control impulses. Many adults with ADHD only take their medication if they feel they need it, a big exam or important meeting at work, and embrace their free flow of thoughts and creative ideas.

As with any child, the more time they spend outside being active the fewer behaviors will be displayed, the better they are to focus and the better moods they will be in.

As a dayhome provider, we go outside every day. Even if it is just to run in to the back fence and back. We do outdoor projects like gardening, collecting worms, finding bugs, naming trees and plants, exploring the natural world and how things interact.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree lilmonkeys - you do not want a child to be labelled and we do not 'introduce' our son as this is our son Johhny he has ADHD .... however when he was young and not adquetely able to communicate if I were to placing him in the care of someone ELSE I would want them to be informed that he has a medical condition - just like if he had diabetes, epilepsy, MS or any other 'disease' that required special care and consideration because A) I need them to know his treatment plan and the supports he needs in place to 'thrive' despite his affliction and B) I do not want him in the care of someone who does not 'understand' his needs and is not comfortable caring for him - that is not a pleasant experience for anyone ... if I can alleviate and fear and misconceptions it is one thing but if someone is outright 'bias' against children with ADHD and the assumption that it is not a 'disease but a lack of discipline from the parents' it is not going to work.

We have dealt with that over and over in the school system with teachers who 'expect' him to fit into the same teaching mould as all the other children and give us the argument that if we just 'disciplined him he would be able to attend to classes' and so forth and well he does not 'thrive' in some teaching styles - he needs a teacher who gets he is a hands on visual learner and not a 'lecture at him and expect him to remember' learner cause he physically cannot sit still for that long - he needs to be able to get up and move or he starts to 'move' anyway - fidgets and ticks. So when he gets teachers who 'lecture' instead of doing a combination of discussion and hands on opportunities to explore the concept - he fails in that class and gets comments like 'Johnny is disruptive in class, Johnny does not complete is tasks and so forth' :rolleyes:

Now that he is a teenager it is better because he is old enough to advocate for himself and tell teachers 'I need to get up and stretch my legs please' and so forth...but when he lacked the self confidence and was worried about being seen as 'different' it was hard for him when he had a teacher who did not support his needs...which are not unreasonable - I do not have ADHD but I cannot sit still for 90 minutes and listen to someone drone on at the front of the class - I also thrive with a hands on teaching style - I tended to close my eyes and try to picture what the teacher was saying and as a result would 'fall asleep' in class though opposed to be disruptive ;)

[lilac]

I dont mean to say I wouldnt have taken him on had I known in the phonecall that he had ADHD. And no I dont think it necessary to inform everyone you meet that your child has ADHD. I just think that the person who is going to take on the responsibilty of helping you raise your child should be made aware in a less matter-of-fact by-the-way manner. Especially if it means changing some of the things I do in my daycare (ie not serving fruit for our snacks etc). I dont mean to offend anyone.

Anyhow, I spoke to mom again thismorning and i know a bit more about him specifically so I dont feel so nervous about it anymore. As I said my first impression of him that he was very sweet and my kids got along with he and his brother very well. Im sure once I get to know him it will be good!

[mom-in-alberta]

Good to hear that you are feeling more at ease. I hope it goes fantastically for you!!

I completely understand why someone wouldn't want to broadcast this to everyone and their dog. But it's definitely something a caregiver needs to know. I look back on quite a few "incidents" with this little boy I mentioned and think "If only I had known, I would have had some more understanding. Or been able to deal with it BETTER!!"
Live and learn. :)

[lilmonkeys]

lilac-I am happy to here that you and the mom were able to talk, so you can get a better feel for her child. No offence taken, I am a very strong advocate for my son and others who are not "neuro-typical". Like I has said before I want people to see the positives in my son, instead of seeing the ADHD first and missing out on experiences the world as he sees it.

[lilac]

So our first afternoon together went well! This kid is a sweetie pie, picked me flowers on the way home. Had my name written on the palm of his hand so he wouldnt forget it! And was very sweet to my daugther who usually feels left out b/c of all the boys.

[mom-in-alberta]

Aw, so glad to hear!! :D

[Inspired by Reggio]

Awesome news - glad the transition is going smoothly for all!

[mamaof4]

he sounds like a great kid!

[lilac]

He is very sweet, LOVES the baby, couldnt leave yesterday without giving the baby a kiss goodbye.

I had to laugh though, the 3 boys were playing, the 2 younger ones were playing something and when they get caught up in what they are playing they either dont hear you calling them, or ignore in favor of continuing what they are doing. So he was trying to get their attention, calling their names, then finally gave up and went to sit by himself... so his mom told me that when he gets his feelings hurt he needs a little bit of alone time to process... so I left him for a bit and then spoke to the other two boys about ignoring people when they are trying to tell them something and asked them to go apologize and invite him back to play... he was totally fine but he said to them as they went back to what they were doing... "you know, maybe you guys need to medicine like mine, it really helps me listen better!" genuinely wanting to help them listen better.... LOL! I thought that was funny...

[mom-in-alberta]

Oh my goodness, that is hilarious!!!
He does seem pretty sweet. :D