2 week notice, update.

[momof5]

Hi everyone,

So after giving my 2 week termination notice, my little 4 yr old screamer has done a total change around! She hasn't cried or screamed since i gave them notice! At pu today mom asked me if they came up with a plan to deal with her bad behaviour, if i would reconsider and allow her to stay with me! Their apparent plan is for me to call dad without warning and he will come and take her home with a punishment of grounding. So far she has been a little angel with me since Friday! Has anyone had a family do this? Would you take you notice back? Ugh not sure what to do with this!!! :unsure:

[Momof4]

It depends on how you feel about the parent's promise to work on the behaviour and if they are serious about working with you for a good solution. Do you really think that this child isn't going to figure out that if she acts up she gets her Daddy to come to get her early? I really don't think that's a great plan.

Can you sit down with the parents and talk it out? I'm glad the little one has made some changes in her behaviour, that's promising. Good luck with your decisions.

[Mamma_Mia]

humm...it's still "NEW", right? I'd think about extending the deadline by a few weeks and see if it REALLY is working. Also make it clear that at the very FIRST sight of "old kid" again they will then have ONE week from that day on to hit the road!

Good Luck!

And I really really hope this does work out!!

[Mamma_Mia]

Do you really think that this child isn't going to figure out that if she acts up she gets her Daddy to come to get her early?

LOL this makes me laugh because my dcg does NOT like when her dad comes to get her vs mom. I feel really bad for him but it's his fault. She will open the door and say "ohhhh noo...its daddy" then runs away and has a tantrum not to go with him crying, screaming and all!! So if it was one of THOSE days all I have to say is 'do you want daddy to come get you tomorrow? no? then stop it!" :laugh: it works....mom feels bad but the kid walks all over them. <<eye roll>>

[Inspired by Reggio]

Tough call - personally I would not take them back and stick to my guns ... I am a mean what I say and say what I mean type gal ... with children and with adults I rarely renegotiate a decision I have made because than it leads to people not taking me seriously and thinking anything I decide is 'negotiable' if they pester at me long enough. My advice to the clients was 'ya I am sorry it took me having to terminate for you to SEE that this was a problem - but my decision stands!

Seriously where was this hard ass approach when you were ASKING for help months, weeks, days before you reached your 'decision' to terminate ... where was this hard ass approach when their daughter stood in your driveway and disrespected you and the mother said NOTHING?

I cannot work with clients were it took me terminating them for their eyes to be opened that there was a problem and well even IF the kids behaviour was in a bit of a honeymoon of improvement this week - I cannot 'forgive or forget' the lack of support from the clients when I needed them or move forward trusting they would 'support' me again should another issue with their child arise or the honeymoon end again so to speak.

Ultimately your choice of course - I have no emotional connection to the family or child impacting my decision to say 'not on your life' ... but based on what you've shared on here - I would be so done!

[Mamma_Mia]

uhhhhh.....ok I change my mind after reading what Reggio said HAAHAHAHA

[mom-in-alberta]

Yeesh... that is a toughie. In actuality, I probably would give them one more chance. BUT- I agree with everything that Reggio said.
What I would like to think is that you terminating them was the final wake up call that they needed and they will now partner with you to raise this little girl.
I would FOR SURE be letting them know that they are on thin ice right now, and pretty much for all eternity, LoL. If you even sniff out the thought that maybe things are reverting to the way they were, I would firmly and finally say goodbye. Everyone deserves a second chance, but you know the old saying about "Fool me once...".
In regards to the "consequence" (Dad coming to pick her up), is that really going to work? Most kids I know WANT to go home, to their own space and toys, etc. I am thinking that she will be catching on pretty quickly as to how to use that to her advantage.
Whatever you decide, I hope it goes well!!

PS- It always makes me a little nervous when a child has a COMPLETELY different reaction to one parent vs. the other. My cynical mind I guess...

[Inspired by Reggio]

Yup - I have never understood 'suspension' as a consequence for poor behavior either in daycare or in school cause to me that is a REWARD for the child ... going home early, being at home with their toys and so forth ... sure it is punishment for the PARENT cause they now have to care for their kid but for the kid unless the parents reaction out weighs the perk of getting to come home it is not a deterrent for the KID?

[Skysue]

Personally it all seems like a HUGE line of B.S to me. Don't let them feed it to you. If they actually took you seriously they would have been proactive already. Daycare girl could be sweet as pie due to the fact that she knows she is leaving.

It seems to me like they let her be in control and why would she be giving in soooo easily. It sounds to fishy to me, I wonder what she gets if she behaves perfect for them. These types of parents always give a HUGE pay off.

You need to decide what you want to do but I wouldn't go back on that kind of a decision. Plus why is this child so disrespectful to her own father? If you can't respect your own parents then what is that saying about her character. I suppose it just may be Mom that’s the big softy? Even still why risk all that drama again?

If you do decide to give another chance I would tell them that there would be no more 2 weeks notice given. Let there be only immediate termination if her behavior returns.

[Mamma_Mia]

Their apparent plan is for me to call dad without warning and he will come and take her home with a punishment of grounding.

Doesn't grounding mean no toys, no tv, NOTHING??
I would think that if dad takes her home and she just sits all day it would be pretty boring and daycare IS the better/funner choice? I dunno...

[mom-in-alberta]

I would hope that's true..... but if the parents had been following through with consequences, etc in the first place, momof5 wouldn't be in this situation. What makes us think they will now take a hard line approach?
:no:

[playfelt]

It almost sounds like mom and dad are not on the same page. Dad is saying enough is enough and attempting to discipline the child more. But if mom isn't going to then she will find a new way to manipulate. At the same time once you know the parents are taking a hard line then you can do the same and make her life miserable if she doesn't behave. And of course as others have said one more infraction and that is is no more two week notice.

Downside is if you give no notice it also doesn't give you two weeks of pay while you fill the space so taking the no more chances route actually hurts you as much if not more than them.

[momof5]

Thanks for all your advice!! I have told them that i needed to think about what would be best and get back to them with my decision on Monday! It's funny that once notice was given they started to take me seriously, this is a reg flag to me. along with the end of the week "bribes" for being a good girl.I don't agree with having to buy her something if she behaves the way she's supposed to behave! Mom will give in to her, she seems to find it easier then to deal with her tantrums, I of course don't give in one single bit to these! She doesn't like it when daddy's mad, her feelings are hurt by that, so he's the one that i would have to call to pick her up. But like some of you have mentioned, once she's home will she actually be punished. That again is a concern to me. If i decide to try this "plan" i will be telling them that i will only give 1 week notice and i will not give a warning to her before i call to have her picked up. I value all your opinions and advice and i definately will re read all these before i make my decision!! :)

[Inspired by Reggio]

I know for me one of the fundamental things when choosing clients is shared values and goals in child rearing - it does not bother me if we both take a slightly different paths to get to those goals as long as the message to children in regards to values and goals is consistent between both home and program .... it sounds to me like this is NOT the case with this client and well if you are not only taking slightly different paths but trying to head in opposite directions with regards to the child - it is a loose loose for everyone and best to just cut ties now!