Discipline tips??

[jazmic]

Hello everyone!

Just wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to discipline a 15 month old? Or do you even try? :huh:

[Play and Learn]

I have a 1, 2, 3 and you're in time out. It seems to work with my toddlers. You just say:

1 J, please pick up the toys. 2 J, do you need help with picking up the toys? 3. Ok, let's pick up the toys, and then you go in time out.

If you nip it in the bud right away, they'll get the point.

For example if they hit or bit a child, I would attend to the 'victim', and then be stern and put the child that bit/hit in time out. Not long, but long enough to get the point. Give them a stern, disappointed look (that usually kills them!). Once they're 'done' in time-out, explain to the child what they did wrong, and what to do the next time.

Hopefully that helps!

[playfelt]

For things like biting, hitting, throwing toys or tantrums they are put immediately in the playpen at the end of the playroom (set up just for this purpose) with a stern we do not XXXXXX. I then attend to the others wronged in the confrontation. When all seems to be better for them I return to the offender and pick them up so they are right at my face level and sternly remind them again that we do not XXXX our friends. Then put them down to go play.

For play infractions like not sharing, grabbing, pushing because of a toy etc. I just intervene, repeat the expected behaviour and either redirect both away from the particular toy, move one to another area or back to the area they were in or whatever just seems right given the situation. It is quick but stern and over as in not a long drawn out explanation or event. The older they get the more is done verbally and involving both in helping to solve the situation but not at 15 months. Lack of language causes so much of the trauma at this age that I do my best to minimize situations even arising for those that can't support themselves verbally and might resort to other methods to get their point across.

[mom-in-alberta]

Yup, I do EXACTLY what playfelt described! :D

[jazmic]

Thanks you guys. My son is the one that's driving me crazy! DCK are all sweet and listen very well but my little guy... it's the constantly getting into things that's bugging me. His latest obsession is pulling up the vent covers from the floor. I scold him but as soon as I turn around he's going for it again!!! He may be only 15 months, but I KNOW he understand me when I say no. I like the idea of sticking him in a bare playpen with no toys. Thank playfelt! :)

[playfelt]

The floor grates was a big one here. The three year old boys still lay on their tummies and stare down them hoping to see the spider we saw crawl in there several months ago and has never been seen again.

Sad to say but the only reason my 18 month old stopped doing this was that she got her finger stuck in the grate and cut it - just a nik like a paper cut so it I'm sure it hurt a lot. She was not inmpressed. After that my verbal warnings had her thinking twice most of the time and while she would go and look down she rarely poked into them after that.

Putting one of the highchairs over it to make it less accessible helped a bit in the sense that it wasn't easy to get in there to play.

IF it was my own they would be getting a tap on the hands along with the stern we don't do that and especially after hours. If you find it is only being done during daycare then it is being done for your attention so you may have to keep him closer if you are going to be busy doing something.

[jazmic]

He does it all the time. And I wish there was only the one vent cos I could cover it up like you suggested. But it's all the vents all over the house. Fun times. Not! :) But thanks for the tips. I'm certainly going to use them. Play and Learn, I also like your tip about the 1,2,3 thing. My 2.5yr old will not pick up toys and I'm constantly repeating myself. I'm going to use that instead!

[clep]

I would shadow him and spend my time interacting with him so he does not have the opportunity to do such things.

Also I do not believe in children sharing until they get to be about 4. Sharing requires skills in the areas of boundaries that need to be developed over a period of a couple of years starting at about 2 in my opinion. Many adults cannot share successfully, how can one expect a small child to. We take turns in my home and a timer is used quite often.

I only use "baby jail" if required for safety purposes. I do not use it any other time for any other reason. I also do not count. Children are taught that they are not required to listen until just before the last number leaves an adults lips. It is never a pleasant day when the child catches on and says "2" right after the adult says "1". I have seen that many times.

[jazmic]

Hi Clep, shadowing him is nice in theory. But with 4 kids under the age of 4 year, no way can I do that! LOL. :)

[Dreamalittledream]

I have a 1, 2, 3 and you're in time out. Me too! Magic 1,2,3 it's called...still use it with my 7 year old...and sometimes my husband (lol!). I've found that with my 2 year old I have to put him in a booster seat & 'lock him in' with the tray, then I set the timer. Otherwise he just will not stay on time out....it becomes a game of him getting up, me placing him back down.

[Dreamalittledream]

I also do not count. Children are taught that they are not required to listen until just before the last number leaves an adults lips. It is never a pleasant day when the child catches on and says "2" right after the adult says "1". I have seen that many times.
Fortunately it has really worked for me as a mom & Childcare provider...I rarely get past 1. Do they keep on counting themselves past 1, yes, for sure in some cases...but they are smiling, redirected and on task.

[jaylupa]

I just started up with my day home in June and introduced this song in July once I started to get more kids. I have 2-4 year olds mostly. (mine is 3yrs old).

the song is called "The Manners Song"? it is sung to the tune of twinkle twinkle little star and it goes like this.....We say thank you, we say please, we don't interrupt or tease, we don't argue, we don't fuss, we listen when folks talk to us, share our toys and take our turns...Manners are easy to learn.

We start our day everyday by singing the song, then we go over the "House Rules" no running, hitting, biting, kicking, screaming, etc... It's been tough for sure, as most of the children I have enrolled have not had experience in a day home before.
The children, have memorized the song, as children do...but know it's a constant challenge every second of our day to keep them reminded.
AS for discipline, they are reminded about the manners song, if they are not sharing, then if they continue to not share, I will ask them again they need to share the toys, (the most issue I get is with the older ones, the 3 and 4 yr old). If they do not want to share, I re-direct them to another toy, if that doesn't work, the toy that they wanted to fight over, simply gets removed from the play room. 3 & 4 yr olds will get two chances with one reminder, a redirection, then the get a time out. The are kept within the play area but must sit alone and watch the others play. When time out is done, they must apologize for what they did wrong, and recite the manners song, and house rules before they can leave the time out area.

Am I on the right track?

[sunnydays]

My own kids used to pull up the vents at that age too...we ended up duct taping them down...it just minimized the aggrivation! I hope this helps!

[kidlove]

at 15 months, I don't think there is a ton of discipline you could do? more redirection and "firm" words.

[Momof4]

15 months old is old enough to understand simple instructions and I agree with using a stern face and stern words for any behaviour that is unacceptable. Children learn from day one in my daycare no matter what their age what is appropriate and what is not allowed. If they get away with something one time they will try again so consistency is important.

[cfred]

I think you're right with the sharing clep. However, we can start really developing it earlier. Cooperative play begins between 2 and 3...once that begins, your toe is well in the door. Before that, in the Parallel Play stage, it's pretty much hopeless. They don't get it and don't care to get it.

Shadowing is a great tool, and my professors touted it regularly. However, it can be pretty tough to keep on top of depending on what's going on with the other kidlets in our care.

I used 123 magic with my sons when they were little. I gave up for the very reason you mentioned...little stinkers. They're both in high school now, but I remember them grinning at me as they recited the next number. FRUSTRATING....but somehow still cute! They always waited till the last number. It was only the time out or loss of a privilege that got their attention and brought an end to the behaviour....for that day.

[kidlove]

redirect is about the only thing you can do at that age, clear words and re-direct. ;)

[Naftafia]

Jazmic my baby girl is 15 months as well and her thing is to go to the entrance and throw the shoes and boots around. She knows she is not aloud to touch the shoes and even though I say "no" or present a different toy or go take her hand she would look at me straight in the face, go "aaaaahhh" and do it again. After trying so hard and considering everything from a gate to hidding the shoes :) I came to realize that she does this when she is missing my attention, when she needs an extra hug or when she is hungry or thirsty. It's her way of getting my attention ... attention is attention wheter it be good or bad. Maybe this applies to your son too!
If not, I think redirection and repetition are the only appropriate things for this age. I personally think a time out is not yet applicable for this age.