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View Full Version : When you find yourself starting not to like someone's child.....



Dayhome Mamma
05-11-2012, 04:22 PM
What do you do? What are your experiences? How do you deal with it? Is it reason to terminate or do you stick it out for the income and bare with it and hope it gets better and you grow to love them? I have had one experience where my feelings started to change towards the child, and the parents,after taking care of the child for about a year. His behaviour was getting worse and he was just starting to get to be too much work. I was able to tell them they were having to find a new place after a heated conversation over a particular issue that got brought up which we didn't see eye to eye on(which were cause for his change in behaviour), so i was able to let them go under other circumstances. But now I have a new one. 12 mths. he started 3 mths ago and he seems to be a very loud and angry child. No one else screams so angrily and I have treated him exactly the same as everyone else. I had mentioned it to the mom, whom I truly love and love working for, and said its something that we'd have to work on cause it scares the other kids, but he does it sometimes in front of her and I want to say see! this is what i mean! but don7t because she doesn't seem phased by it cause she's just used to it and doesn't consider it really screaming angrily. So am i just being too sensitive and picky cause I want to strive to have a calm and gentle group where I am not going insane? Should I just be sucking it up for the income or should this be reason to let them go? Its usually if he's not getting what he wants, or being impatient at getting his food, but it also just happens out of the blue. and its throughout the day and its driving me nuts! I hate it. and I feel like its just part of his personality and I'm having a hard time seeing it be something he grows out of. He just has what seems like to be a more rugged/very bossy demeanor and I am starting to be soooo annoyed! Its hard enough work to have all "good" kids, so to have one that gets on your nerves, is it worth it to continue or am I just being too picky?

Momof4
05-11-2012, 06:32 PM
I find that there always seems to be at least one child in the group who just grates on your nerves for one reason or another. It seems to be the luck of the draw. We wouldn't want life to be perfect would we? That would be too easy!

No really, I had a little girl for 3 years who was a nonstop talking tattletale annoying little thing and I thought there was something wrong with me because I just couldn't like her. I treated her exactly the way I treated all the others because I believe in that but I found I had to remind myself to hug her when the others were getting spontaneous hugs, you know?

Now I have a little boy who is cute and is hard to like mostly because he spent several months screaming but he's over that now and settled into daycare life, yet there's something that I can't put my finger on about him that just bothers me all the time. Again, I have to remind myself to tickle him and hug him. I guess it happens and as long as we always treat all the children alike and think about what we are doing it will be ok. I'm sure it happens to all of us.

Inspired by Reggio
05-11-2012, 06:42 PM
We are human ... do you like every adult you meet? No one questions not liking a co worker or extended family member so why is not liking a child so taboo?? Children are humans with personaloties who grow up to be adults with personalities - some are easier than others to work with!!

I have had children over the years who were harder to like and bond with for sure ... Some just annoying behaviors you learned to ignore and others that were aggressive deal breakers ... one of the awesome things about being self employed cause if you come across one with deal breaker behaviors you can terminate ... in centre care you either had to quit your job or suck it up until they graduated to next group!!!

Dayhome Mamma
05-14-2012, 09:05 AM
Thanks so much ladies. I guess this topic is a bit taboo! I never thought of it like that. Felt guilty about it though but knew that those with some experience could probably relate:) Thanks for the feedback. Munchkin came in this morning super happy and running to say hello so its a good start to the week. I'm going to take your suggestion mom of 4 and remind myself to give him a hug cause I think you're onto something there:)

mom-in-alberta
05-14-2012, 02:01 PM
Yup, I have absolutely met kids that I didn't "click" with.
As Reggio said; they are people, just smaller! And some people just don't mesh well.
If you don't feel like the child is suffering for it, then I wouldn't worry. It may even get better.
I had one little boy like this. We got off to a rough start, and I just couldn't get past it. I was actually relieved when I had to say goodbye.