Littledragon
05-29-2012, 04:16 PM
Okay, forewarning, this is probably going to be pretty long
So, if it's not one thing with this kid, it's another. Dad's finally been dropping his son off on time, today he was even ten minutes early. His dad really seems to trying hard - apologizing if he's 5 minutes late, and supplying him with things that I need when I need them. Today, we even spoke over text about the issue I am going to explain here, and he was a lot more accepting than his mom is. I feel like his mom takes offense, and she shrugs off any problems I may be having. And to top it off, he called me mama in front of her yesterday and she got pretty upset. I'm trying to teach him to call me nanny but he only knows mama, dada, baba and some other jibberish that doesn't include nanny lol
Anyways, so a few weeks ago, I noticed that he was a lot more goofy and silly when his mom was around and a lot more reserved here - never trying to cuddle with me, or play with me or anything. So I spent some extra time trying to bond with him and it really made a big difference, I noticed it right away. But now, not only is he acting happier, but his cranky side and his "I WANT NOW" side is coming out more too.
But I think there is something wrong with him. He's just acting so strange. I will explain in detail and maybe you can tell me what you think is going on.
First of all, he's 13 months old, he's 75 cm and 19 pounds and his parents seem to be indulgent. They give him what he wants when he wants it, he doesn't have a schedule at home and he still sleeps on mom or dads chest at home. I try not judge, but it's hard :blink:
Let's see if I can start from the beginning:
It started with eating. First, he decided he would no longer eat cheese. Then he decided he would no longer eat fruit. he's on cow's milk, so I know that if he doesn't eat his fruits and veggies and enough protein, he won't be getting it from his milk (my son is still on formula so if for some reason he doesn't get enough one day, it's okay). His parents seem to fill up his sippie cup with milk and he just carries it around all day. So, I stopped doing that. One because he was spilling in on the floor and I wouldnt' know and it would be sticky and two because I thought that that was why he wasn't eating. Now, he doesn't get his milk until he's 3/4 done his lunch and he doesn't get it after nap (lunch is 30 minutes after nap). So, worried he wasn't getting enough vitamins I started giving him his pureed food (at 13 months) and he was eating it. I told mom and she said, "maybe he doesn't like it. he does eat a lot of apple sauce though." she said he really likes strawberries so the next day I tried cutting them up really small - didn't eat them. But when I gave him his puree he ate it. I have two other babies, I don't have time to sit there and feed him. My son is 10 months and the only time I feed him is if it's yogurt or apple sauce.
So, it's been about a week since that started. I've told mom almost every day and she would just shrug it off, and I got to a point where I was reminding myself that he wasn't my kid, and what he ate or didn't eat wasn't my problem, but I'm not wired like that. I care and I feel this issue need to be resolved.
Now, the last part of last week, and this week, he seems to be more tired than usual. Whiney, sensitive, cries at the drop of a hat and really tired. Two days in a row, he was tired - like meltdown tired by 1:30 - nap is at 2:30 - even though he had a nap in the morning. This is what got me wondering if he was sleeping in the morning. But there is no way a child his age can sit in his playpen, quiet as a mouse for two hours - he has to be sleeping. Both days, I put him in the recliner and he watched tv for half an hour. It's not like him. He's usually go go go.
The last thing is how sensitive he is - and he's creating a habit, but I'm not sure how to break it without being mean. My son is very touchy-feely, he likes to kiss people, and tug at people's clothes and touch hair and eyes and so on. The little boy has always been okay with that. But now, all of a sudden, if my son touches him, his flips out. My son took a toy away from him, which he usually responds to really well because he's a good sharer, especially for his age. But now, he starts crying, runs over to me and tugs at me until I pick him up. I pick him up, put him on my lap and he stops crying. But he's clutching me. And then my son will come over and tug at me, because it's just the three of us and if he touches the little boy, the little boy kicks him or moves and starts crying. He's constantly coming over and tugging at me even when he is in a good mood, calls me mama and is generally a lot more clingy. And that's okay, but I don't know how to draw the line between being overly clingy and expecting me to solve all his problems and being sensitive to his needs. I think he's trying to replace his mom with me, but I want to teach him to stand on his own, be independent, solve his own problems.
Any suggestions?!?!
Also, a side note: what do you do when a child runs out of stuff and you're having to supply? My little boy ran out of wipes last week - I've asked twice, even sent home a letter with it in bold red and asterix. What would you do? I've thought of charging them, it's in the contract that I would, but I am really terrified of losing him. I'm having such a hard time finding people right now, I can't lose him. But I've already used three of our packs and they're not cheap!
So, if it's not one thing with this kid, it's another. Dad's finally been dropping his son off on time, today he was even ten minutes early. His dad really seems to trying hard - apologizing if he's 5 minutes late, and supplying him with things that I need when I need them. Today, we even spoke over text about the issue I am going to explain here, and he was a lot more accepting than his mom is. I feel like his mom takes offense, and she shrugs off any problems I may be having. And to top it off, he called me mama in front of her yesterday and she got pretty upset. I'm trying to teach him to call me nanny but he only knows mama, dada, baba and some other jibberish that doesn't include nanny lol
Anyways, so a few weeks ago, I noticed that he was a lot more goofy and silly when his mom was around and a lot more reserved here - never trying to cuddle with me, or play with me or anything. So I spent some extra time trying to bond with him and it really made a big difference, I noticed it right away. But now, not only is he acting happier, but his cranky side and his "I WANT NOW" side is coming out more too.
But I think there is something wrong with him. He's just acting so strange. I will explain in detail and maybe you can tell me what you think is going on.
First of all, he's 13 months old, he's 75 cm and 19 pounds and his parents seem to be indulgent. They give him what he wants when he wants it, he doesn't have a schedule at home and he still sleeps on mom or dads chest at home. I try not judge, but it's hard :blink:
Let's see if I can start from the beginning:
It started with eating. First, he decided he would no longer eat cheese. Then he decided he would no longer eat fruit. he's on cow's milk, so I know that if he doesn't eat his fruits and veggies and enough protein, he won't be getting it from his milk (my son is still on formula so if for some reason he doesn't get enough one day, it's okay). His parents seem to fill up his sippie cup with milk and he just carries it around all day. So, I stopped doing that. One because he was spilling in on the floor and I wouldnt' know and it would be sticky and two because I thought that that was why he wasn't eating. Now, he doesn't get his milk until he's 3/4 done his lunch and he doesn't get it after nap (lunch is 30 minutes after nap). So, worried he wasn't getting enough vitamins I started giving him his pureed food (at 13 months) and he was eating it. I told mom and she said, "maybe he doesn't like it. he does eat a lot of apple sauce though." she said he really likes strawberries so the next day I tried cutting them up really small - didn't eat them. But when I gave him his puree he ate it. I have two other babies, I don't have time to sit there and feed him. My son is 10 months and the only time I feed him is if it's yogurt or apple sauce.
So, it's been about a week since that started. I've told mom almost every day and she would just shrug it off, and I got to a point where I was reminding myself that he wasn't my kid, and what he ate or didn't eat wasn't my problem, but I'm not wired like that. I care and I feel this issue need to be resolved.
Now, the last part of last week, and this week, he seems to be more tired than usual. Whiney, sensitive, cries at the drop of a hat and really tired. Two days in a row, he was tired - like meltdown tired by 1:30 - nap is at 2:30 - even though he had a nap in the morning. This is what got me wondering if he was sleeping in the morning. But there is no way a child his age can sit in his playpen, quiet as a mouse for two hours - he has to be sleeping. Both days, I put him in the recliner and he watched tv for half an hour. It's not like him. He's usually go go go.
The last thing is how sensitive he is - and he's creating a habit, but I'm not sure how to break it without being mean. My son is very touchy-feely, he likes to kiss people, and tug at people's clothes and touch hair and eyes and so on. The little boy has always been okay with that. But now, all of a sudden, if my son touches him, his flips out. My son took a toy away from him, which he usually responds to really well because he's a good sharer, especially for his age. But now, he starts crying, runs over to me and tugs at me until I pick him up. I pick him up, put him on my lap and he stops crying. But he's clutching me. And then my son will come over and tug at me, because it's just the three of us and if he touches the little boy, the little boy kicks him or moves and starts crying. He's constantly coming over and tugging at me even when he is in a good mood, calls me mama and is generally a lot more clingy. And that's okay, but I don't know how to draw the line between being overly clingy and expecting me to solve all his problems and being sensitive to his needs. I think he's trying to replace his mom with me, but I want to teach him to stand on his own, be independent, solve his own problems.
Any suggestions?!?!
Also, a side note: what do you do when a child runs out of stuff and you're having to supply? My little boy ran out of wipes last week - I've asked twice, even sent home a letter with it in bold red and asterix. What would you do? I've thought of charging them, it's in the contract that I would, but I am really terrified of losing him. I'm having such a hard time finding people right now, I can't lose him. But I've already used three of our packs and they're not cheap!