I have given a family notice.... now this?

[samantha3]

Hello,

Just wondering if I did the right thing here...

I gave a family notice last week because of a breach in our agreement (several notices/reminders etc..) and now they are 'going to this new fabulous and wonderful daycare.... and we need your help ptraining him, so starting next week can you put him on the toilet every 30min...'

I said, I am sorry that is not in my policy for toilet training, but I would be happy to help encourage him to use the toilet and to encourage him to let me know if he needs to use the toilet. My policy is that they remain in diapers/pull ups until they have been accident free for two weeks at home and can verbally tell me that they need to use the toilet.

I do not feel that I am being unreasonable here... if they were still in my care I would say the same thing. I guess they are feeling the pressure as where he is going to now requires that they be toilet trained...

What do you think? I am going to stick to my policy on this one.... I am just frustrated and am wondering what other providers would do in this situation.

Thanks!:ohmy:

[Bookworm]

Just refer them to your policies. You do not have time to put him on the potty every 30 mins and that is not going to help him understand the connection between him having the "feeling" of having to go pee and him going to the bathroom. KWIM? Just let them know that even if they were staying, you would not agree to this.

[apples and bananas]

Oh wow! The nerve of some people eh? You did exactly the right thing.

So let me get this straight.... They disresepected your policies several times, so now you've terminated care and suddenly they want a favour? WOW!

I would have done exactly what you did. My policy is the same, they stay in pull ups until they are dry for several days while asking to use the toilet. If they're on the toilet every 30 min, they are not trained.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Umm - ya regardless of their leaving or not I would not agree to put a child on the potty every 30 minutes - that is not practical, realistic or HELPFUL in the potty training in a GROUP setting - being expected to leave the fun of the group every 30 minutes to go sit on a potty will result in RESISTANCE to training!

Sorry that they are feeling pressured to train their kid in time for their new program but that is THIER job and you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink - if the child is not physically ready for training sitting on the potty every 30 minutes is not going to hurry that development along - bladder control and the sphincter muscle develop at their own pace ;)

[playfelt]

If parents are so concerned they need to take their vacation days and do intensive training for the two weeks. If it works great and if not well they should have thought about that before choosing that program.

This is one of those cases where even if the child was ready I probably wouldn't take the time to be bothered training on princible. They wouldn't help you when you needed them to work with you and you shouldn't have to take the time to work with them now. The only time I would help is if the child actually came to me and asked to sit on the potty - I would never tell them no.

[Momof4]

Are you kidding me? Every 30 minutes? I'm lucky if I can get a child on the potty once every 2 hours.

[mom-in-alberta]

Stick to your guns, girl. What's the worst that can happen at this point?
By the way; are they idiots? It's pretty common knowledge that trying to potty train before an important life adjustment (moving homes, new sibling, NEW DAYCARE) is often useless.

[samantha3]

Oh my goodness, this family is driving me crazy!! Dad called to apologize to me yesterday and said that she did not mean what she said regarding the toilet training. What she meant was that they wanted to send him in pull ups/training underwear and ask me to offer him the toilet.... rest time was ok to put a diaper on... wtf?? That is totally different, but anyways, sadly I agreed mostly because I am just done talking with them....sooo frustrating!!!!!!! Sign, now I feel crumby because I backed down, but on the bright side maybe they will stop talking about everything that they feel is 'wrong' with their child! Ahhh, vent over!! :eek:

[playfelt]

You didn't back down you placated the family and that is different. It is called customer service in other businesses. You agreed to let the kid come in a pullup. Parents are paying for them so who cares - the training underwear is worn WITH a pullup or with plastic pants not alone as in no "accidents" at daycare on teh floors/furniture.

You agreed to "offer him the toilet" - you didn't commit to how often or in what capacity so you are still totally able to do it when and if and how you wish.

I always do a diaper at naptime for training kids anyways because we are not responsible for knowing we have to pee when we are sleeping so naptime accidents are ok - awake ones are not. We dont' pee in our pullups.

[clep]

I work with parents to potty teach all the time. I provide the child a stuffy toy with underwear on it, and the child takes their stuffy toy to the potty every 30 min when the alarm goes off. Child practices taking down their pants, wiping, washing hands etc. We do that for a few days or a week and the parents do the same at home. Then on the Saturday parents start taking their child to the potty every 30 min while providing them an excessive amount to drink until they have had success a few times. Day two morning they start asking if they have to pee, but no alarm. Day two afternoon they ask child to tell them when they have to go. Day three at day home they are telling me they have to go and all is well. It has worked like a charm for all of the children I have potty taught, except for the ones that were not ready who had parents that insisted they were. :( It drives me crazy when parents try to rush things.

Pull ups are not allowed in my day home period, at any time. Pull ups are just diapers they can pull up and down themselves. It's hard I think for children to be expected not to pee in a diaper whether they can pull them up and down themselves or not.

I think you did very well. I would agree to offer him the toilet, but would not agree to potty teach a child and do a favor for parents that are like this. Geesh. People are really ridiculous.

[Momof4]

Wow clep, that's something to consider. I can't imagine getting children on the potty every 30 minutes though. Do you have one that you take outside with you too? But I never thought of underwear on a cuddle - that's awesome!

[clep]

Wow clep, that's something to consider. I can't imagine getting children on the potty every 30 minutes though. Do you have one that you take outside with you too? But I never thought of underwear on a cuddle - that's awesome!

I could never do it without an alarm as I would lose track of the time. Plus when it is an alarm, they don't see it as me making them go but a special sound just for them to go. I do take a little potty outside, but the children are well aware that inside they use the big potty. That way there is less transition later to go on the big potty. They are pretty excited to try out what they have been teaching for a few days or a week and it makes it so easy as they have the routine down before they even try it themselves. I have never yet had it over two days at home and three days with me where the child was not fully taught, even with bm's. Of course their stuffy isn't scared to have his bm's in the potty and he get's stickers every time he goes. :):):)