Biting frenzy continues...

[Bookworm]

Okay, so on Friday I posted about my worst day yet since opening the daycare. The little one in my care that is on a biting frenzy has not slowed down. My biter is only here Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and so far he has bitten two little ones yesterday and one boy today. He has bit the same boy everyday he has been here for the last two weeks. Since yesterday he has been by my side everytime I have to leave the room for any reason. Today, on top of being with me at all times when I'm out of the room, I have put a pnp up so that if I'm busy with another child, he goes in there. However, all the children think its funny and go play with him while he's in it (and they put their fingers in perfect reach for his mouth). He bit the little boy this morning before I put the pnp up while they were playing with a toy, and I was just tossing something out the room.
Ugh, so anyways. Once I told mom again that her son was bit, she told me that if it didn't stop she would have to put her son in another daycare. I totally understand where she is coming from. I dread pick ups because I really feel bad that it keeps happening.
So, what do I do? I told her all the steps I was taking to make sure her son didn't get bit. The biters mom is bringing in a toy specifically for him to bite while he's here tomorrow, as we discussed it last night at pickup and she didn't bring it today, so I'm insisting now.
Do I terminate the biter? If I terminate him I lose his brother too.
The dcb who is getting bit is a temporary kid now who may be permanent (highly unlikely now-lol), so do I just let the parents decide to pull him? I just don't want things to get really ugly, ykwim? I hate confrontations and this is just killling my stress levels! lol
I do have a full time girl wanting to start in September, but as of now I have to tell her that Im full, but have been waiting to see how this little saga ends before I say anything to them, so I am not without options. Honestly, I really like the biters parents, and the temporary kid's mom seems like she doesn't full trust me (even before the biting began), so I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Although, it does seem a bit unfair to let the child who is getting bit go, and keep the biter? Ugh...decisions. lol

[ECE53]

You are bringing back memories for me. I had three biters at once a few years back, and one was my son.... It does get better, it is just as hard to be the parent of the biter. I had a parent who was afraid to pick up because she thought everyone would be angry with her. I taught the other children some " self defence" ie not put your fingers near so and so, also to put the hands out and shout no biting.... Also the biter spent a lot of time segregated from the group when I was preoccupied or if I could tell he was in the mood. If the temporary Mom wants to pull her child so be it, there could be a biter in the next daycare too it happens and it is common. Stick with the families that trust you as long as they work with you. The biting phase does pass..... Good luck and reassure your parents you are trying your best. There are some good fact sheets available online that you could post or hand out to your families..

[Bookworm]

Thanks, ECE. I hate pick ups for two reasons, telling the parent of the bitten and telling the parent of the biter. The mom feels horrible and is working with me to try and stop it. I know it's a phase, and the mother isn't really giving me time to work with the child, but I understand her concern and it is her choice. I think I may just tell her tomorrow that I'm not ready to terminate the biter yet so if she wants to leave, then I completely understand.

It doesn't help that all my dck's are 16 months old, except for the boy who gets bitten (21 months) but ALL of them are pretty much non-verbal, so unfortunately, I can't really teach them any self defense things at this point (at least verbal ones). I've been teaching hands to yourself, etc... We shall see how long this phase lasts.

[apples and bananas]

Some kids bite! I think you're handling it as well as you could be. You're being upfront and honest with the parents and trying to find solutions. I don't think terminating the biter at this point would be a solution. I think if the mom that has the child being biten decides to find new care then so be it. There may be a biter there too! Or a hitter! Or a screamer!

[playfelt]

Agree that letting anyone go doesn't solve anything really. Many times we have said that when it comes down to it that parents will do what is best for them and not worry about us and there are times when we need to worry about us and not them. If the mom pulls then fine to a certain extent as she was somewhat temporary anyways and this is a good time of year to replace if you are going and by sept the three should have pretty much grown out of the phase. Is the child that is older in their face a little too much, bigger than they are so towers above when they play as in do they feel he presents some sort of danger. Does he like that the others get in trouble? Does he like the attention he gets when he gets bit? Does he respond to warnings of stay away from XXX or you may get bit - ie make him responsible for keeping himself safe.

[Bookworm]

I am not ready to terminate my biter, so the mom can either stay or go... I'm kinda done worry about this now. I hate when things aren't going perfectly (but really when in life does it ever? lol), so I stress out about the little things. It has only been a day since I've implemented some new measures, and mom is really on board with the things I've suggested, so I dont see why I cant give the little boy time to mature and see if he grows out of it.
The older boy is quite big for his age. Most people think he is three when they see him and are surprised when I tell them he is only 21 months. He isn't an aggressive boy either. He is really quiet and gentle with the kids. I have only had to tell him not to do something a couple times. He is really behind in his language skills (his speech is on par with my 16 month olds, and besides my son, they don't say too many words), but he comprehends really well. I am going to try and get him to not go near the biter tomorrow, but I'm not sure how well that will go as they do get along.
I think my biter feels he can do it to the older one because he doesn't react when he gets bitten. He doesn't cry, scream, yell, etc... He just walks up to me calmly afterwards and say, "Ow". I don't think the older boy lets himself get bit to get others in trouble or for attention. I just think he maybe hasn't had that much experience with younger children or children in general. I know he was cared for by a family member before and they said there was another little boy his age, but I'm not sure if it was in a daycare setting, although the parents keep saying daycare.
Who knows. Maybe tomorrow we can have a bite free day! lol...Here's hoping!

[Mamma_Mia]

SO!!!

Today my daugher was biten THREE times by the same little boy (15mos) he would chase her down and chomp down on her arm! I mean she now has 3 big bruises with teeth marks. This boy is the same one I mentioned before, this has been going on for over a month now. They have tried almost everything and the provider is thinking of letting him go. It's so bad she can't go anywhere, and no one is wanting to play with him....he'll chase you down! He sat out in against the wall 5 times today in a 3hr span.

IMO When it comes to the safety of EVERYONE around you, you have to do what's best. The biter is the issue not the poor kid suffering from it. How long are you going to wait for him to grow-out of it? If the older boy does get taken out of your care, you don't think the 'biter' will move onto someone else? It's not up to the childern to remove a biting child away or to redirect him....he should NOT bite. period. Again IMO

(sorry but coming from a mom who's kid is all black & blue.....Im not empathizing with the yonger child here......and if it was your own child/ren I bet you'd feel the same way.)

[Bookworm]

Wow Mamamia! That sounds terrible. I hope your little girl is alright. I think that the provider in your daughter's case has every right to terminate. However, I think there is a difference in how the biting is happening between the two scenarios.
I do agree that the safety of everyone else is paramount, but I also want to give the biter the chance to work on finding new skills. I believe all children deserve that chance. My own children have been bitten by kids in the daycare, more so than any other kid here (including the boy I mentioned above), so I DO understand what the parents are going through. However, this is a newly developed thing with the biter, and I believe that it can be stopped quickly. Today was a bite free day, and I believe that with continued vigilance, it will continue to be that way.