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View Full Version : Would you give the food parents brought or serve your own?



monkeymama
06-18-2012, 09:06 AM
the last two DCK ive started with day one they show up with snacks and lunch from home. i was kinda taken aback as i do provide a full days food here.
would you have given them the food or given them what you made?
i gave a little bit of both...i dont want parents to think im not capable of feeding their children or getting them to eat but i didnt want them to think they didnt eat anything.

michellesmunchkins
06-18-2012, 09:43 AM
Most of my guys eat what I provide. I have one little girl who is on a very strict diet at home so her parents provide her snack. She is only part time afternoons so its only one snack. I don't change my rate though, same price even though they bring the food. Its worked out ok, she has her snack while the others have theirs and nobody really questions anything. The only time it was an issue was when we do treats for bday's like cupcakes. She can't have them, so one those days I just send the treats home with all the kids and they have them there. Not sure I would want to do it with all 5 kids having different foods, but I like to be as flexible as possible and there are so many issues with food nowadays that if it makes a parent happy to send it, then by all means send away :)

Momof4
06-18-2012, 11:28 AM
I'm curious about the reason the parents sent the food. Did you ask them why they were sending it? I've had parents send in treats on special days but not often. They all know I serve mostly organically grown, home-cooked food so why would they send any food? Do you have a communication problem with this family? Time to have a chat with them and get things straightened out. I never sit and wonder I always talk to people right away and solve the problem. There are too many problems if you let them pile up. Deal with them right away every time.

bright sparks
06-18-2012, 11:48 AM
Great advice Momof4. I'm of the same opinion.

I'm sure this could be cleared up easily with a quick chat with the parents. It might be a simple as they didnt read the contract/policy properly on meals and snacks or that they are human beings having a brain fart moment lol

monkeymama
06-18-2012, 12:38 PM
theyve both just started with me, and neither have really been away from mom or dad before. i think the idea is that they dont think they will eat what i serve. i havent had that issue and have told both moms they eat everything i serve with no complaint. however, they continue to send the food.

monkeymama
06-18-2012, 12:39 PM
Momof4 i serve very healthy choices as well so I dont believe that is the problem. i am very open and communicate with all my families. i dont feel this is something i have done.

Crayola kiddies
06-18-2012, 01:08 PM
Well if it's not causing issues between all the children in the sense that one says why can't I have what she's having .... And if it makes mom feel better then feed it... I wouldn't give a discount. All my parents send breakfast for their kids so everybody gets something different and I have never had a problem. so if they have never been away from mom I'm assuming they are around the 1 year mark and so they are not going to care if they have different things . I would just say to the parent " you aren't required to send food as I supply but if you prefer I feed yours then that's fine".

apples and bananas
06-18-2012, 01:11 PM
Wow... that's fantastic! I would love a parent to bring food. I remember when my kids were in daycare I started packing them a lunch when they were close to kindergarten age to get them used to opening and closing things on their own.

I would just politly remind the parent that you are happy to serve them lunch. But they need to commit one way or another.... if you're like me you probably plan your groceries based on how many children your feeding.

Inspired by Reggio
06-18-2012, 01:23 PM
I personally do not allow food from home unless they have food allergies / medical need for it or it is a prearranged special occasion like birthday or Valentines treat or something - however that is clearly discussed and covered in my handbook so I have never had an issue with newbies trying to send things.

If it is a communication problem because the practice was not covered in a policy handbook or the contract I would just discuss with them why they feel the need and if it is something you are OK with doing go ahead .... personally I do not like the conflict that can arise from allowing food from home ... just easier if we are all eating the SAME so no grass is greener on the other side of the plate behaviours - when it is in regards to a food allergy or medical condition it is easier for children to 'accept' why verses 'Little Johnny is just a picky eater and does not like what we are having so his mommy sent him his 'favorites' to ensure he eats' ... cause IME that just leads to every kid expecting 'restaurant options' at meal time and that is not my philosophy for creating healthy eaters so I wont do it ... you eat what is served by me or you wait until the next snack or meal - not going to harm a child to miss a meal cause they do not 'like' what is being served and frankly if they are made to miss a meal or two they quickly learn that they LIKE more things cause they get to experience what being truly HUNGRY means something most children in North America rarely feel cause they have access to food not only daily but many times a day ... not all kids are so lucky ;)

I highly doubt that places like Africa, India or Etheopia have 'picky eater's syndrome' .... they learn to eat what is served to them when it is served to them because there is no other option and they know it ... just because we have the option to 'cater' does not mean we should - children need to learn to make healthy choices because they are BLESSED to have them!

littlebugsdaycare
06-18-2012, 02:33 PM
unless there is food provided for all the children then I would never accept it, like reggio I do not allow outside food, first there is the concerns for allergies and restrictions that all parents are not aware of, as well if one child has something and the rest do not it causes me more problems than not so I just do not allow it. The only exception I had was one child in care was a vegetarian so mom and I would sit down and once I had my meal plan together for the week she would send protein options if needed but normally I would provide it all.

bright sparks
06-18-2012, 02:58 PM
I also do not allow outside food for the allergy reason that others have said. Also, because I pride myself on making all home made foods and not serving processed foods, I wouldn't want to be feeding all my kids shephards pie for example and have one child having beans and chicken nuggets. While its the parents choice, it really puts the lunchtime routine at risk of becoming problematic if other kids suddenly decide to not eat the food provided because they are used to eating convenience foods at home and would prefer what the other child was being sent with.

I would always reinforce to the parents that their child will eat when they are hungry while letting them know there is always a settling in period and adjustment to a new setting and new meals and that you have never had a problem with children eating the meals you provide. I'd go on to say that the kids usually model each other and eat well as a group. Also, why not ask the parents outright why they send the food. If it really is because they fear their child won't eat what you feed them, why not ask them to give you the chance to try your food with them as it will teach them much better eating habits and make them more compliant and willing to try new things through adolesance. Maybe ask them to tell you some of their childs favourite meals so you can include them in your menu plan. If they are not meals you would serve your daycare children, then maybe you can come up with healthier versions. Its not that theirs a problem with the child, more just a way to reassure the parents that their child will settle in quickly to your meal plan as others have. I find the issue is typically with the parent's anxiety and fears when sending a child to daycare rather than with the child themselves. The kiddies are usually adaptable if you can be consistant and not give in to their power struggles when they try to refuse foods to get favourite snacks instead because that usually works at home with their parents.

This being said, some people don't see this situation as a problem so if you do not mind serving the food the parents send, and theres no issue with the other children not eating their meals as they want the other childs food, then I'd take full advantage of having less expense to pay out for these two children.

Momof4
06-18-2012, 05:29 PM
Momof4 i serve very healthy choices as well so I dont believe that is the problem. i am very open and communicate with all my families. i dont feel this is something i have done.
Oh, I definitely didn't mean to say that you are doing anything wrong. We all run our daycares a little bit differently and allow some things that the next caregiver would not allow. I had a child in care with nut allergies and right now I have a lactose intolerant baby so those parents did send in the specialty foods. But I wouldn't like to have outside food sent in and I'll explain why.

When I started daycare I didn't have a clue what I was doing but I started with babies and the parents were sending in all the infant food and bottles. Then as the children grew and started eating table food one by one the parents started sending breakfast, lunch and snack in lunchboxes. However, there was no room in my fridge for any food for me once I got all five children's food into my fridge every morning.

Another issue was that each child wanted something the other children were eating and it became an incredible pain. So I stopped all that and started feeding the children and raised my rates. The bottom line is that all of these decision were made by ME as I learned to become a businesswoman. Now all of the families know that I make the rules and they must follow them.

Whatever you decide to do about this situation, make sure it is what YOU want to happen in your daycare because YOU are the boss and the business owner and make the rules, ok?

Skysue
06-19-2012, 12:15 PM
If they send it why not serve it?

Inspired by Reggio
06-19-2012, 03:55 PM
If they send it why not serve it?

Bottom line for me I have a preference of no outside food for 3 reasons

1) Liability - I have allergens of my own and others in care some who are life threatening I do not want anyone else bring something into my home unnecessarily - so unless it is a medical reason and I cannot 'accommodate' it myself I provide ALL solid foods for children and I make all my own baby food from scratch ... parents only supply formula or specialty dairy replacements. Anyone sending meals from home has to sign a form stating that what they send will not contain XYZ if it is homemade or it has to be store bought so I can read the label and if it is not appropriate or is a risk - it does not get served!

2) Control - I prefer to supply and make my own infant foods A) because of above - I need to be able to 'test' that it is not too hot, has not spoiled and so forth before tasting it and best way is to taste it and well jarred food would make me sick cause it is full of gluten fillers and I would not 'trust' that others ensured no cross contamination in preparing food from home and B) I prefer to be able to 'support' a child's transition to solid table foods smoothly within the program and do not want to deal with someone still thinking it is necessary to feed an 18 month old 'jarred foods' verses having them just eating what everyone else is eat ... which sadly is often the case in many homes and why they make those 'toddler foods' cause there is the demand for them as more and more people buy them cause it is just 'easier' and well by 12 months my crew is at least 95% on full table foods and all eating the same things - only a few things I still puree for them rest is just 'chopped' into bite size finger food pickings.

3) Conflict avoidance ... I do not want to have to deal with clients who think that 'junk foods' are an acceptable option for kids as a STAPLE in their diet and therefore they send it everyday ... in centre care we had to deal with clients who sent chocolate milk everyday and the other kids complaining why can they not have it, kids who had a chocolate bar EVERYDAY in their lunch or whose lunch was 'fruit loops and a fruit to go bar' ... and because I do not like having to deal with the behavior from children that the 'grass is greener on the other side' issues and children refusing to eat their food cause Johnny got sent chicken nuggets and fries and I am serving baked chicken with sweet potatoes instead!

So if there is a medical NEED for the parent to send the food I would learn to 'manage' those above issues and the conflict with the children however I do not wish to invite it into my program unnecessarily ;)

The reality is there is no NEED for a client to send food from home because their child's options here FAR exceed the Canada Food Guide and I serve food at least every three hours - if they did not 'like' morning snack or lunch or what not there is another option that they likely will like 3 hours a way and even if they do not like it they will be more likely to EAT something at that next option because they are getting hungry enough to realize sometimes we need to eat things because we NEED food than because we LIKE it ;)

As a result they get a healthier palette of foods they are willing to accept and they learn to LIKE more foods and I am working to ensure we are instilling healthy eating habits when they are young and their brains and well habits are being formed which is my nutritional philosophy.

apples and bananas
06-19-2012, 04:01 PM
I retract my first answer. I would refuse as well. I wasn't really thinking about the allergy thing, which is odd because I have a severe peanut allergy in my family. I guess I'm used to the "peanut free" for schools.

Judy Trickett
06-20-2012, 02:47 PM
Personally, I would not serve the food. It sends messages to the kid that they are not expected to get along with what the group is doing or eating etc. Daycare is group care and that means everyone does the same thing, eats the same thing as the group each day.

Besides, it is a pain to have to get separate foods out and then explain to others why they can't have some. And then there is the fact that you don't personally know what is IN that food brought from home. If another child develops an allergy because they swiped some of their friend's food then that is an issue too.

Just say NO.

Spixie33
06-21-2012, 07:49 PM
Some parents just feel bad/uneasy about providers making food. I provide all food and beverages but one of my moms feels so bad about it and feels it is silly that I should provide milk/juices/choco milk etc and will send her child every day with two full sippy cups and says it is to 'make things a little easier' on me. I tried to protest the first day or two but gave up. I know she means well.

I have another daycare child who EATS A LOT. Seriously - A LOT. Her mom often asks if she should send food and says she feels bad because she knows her child has a big appetite and that she would be happy to send food or pay extra a day. I declined but it was nice of her and she brings it up every couple of months.

Personally....(when I was a daycare parent) I sent the food and snacks for my children and the drinks. I still paid the regular fees. However.....my children are on a no pork diet and my husband did not feel that we could rely on someone to check labels or meals carefully to avoid pork since it wasn't an allergy but a restriction that he wanted enforced. None of our daycare providers minded since we still paid the same.

Eventually my son was also diagnosed with soy and dairy allergies so it became even more complicated to expect a provider to serve food and check labels so we just were relieved to send everything that he needed. It was also GREAT because the provider sent back the containers as is and we could see how much each of our children ate or not. As a parent - I liked knowing how much he ate etc

Mamma_Mia
06-22-2012, 11:32 AM
Not any of my dcParents do this but I know a few providers who the parents like to help out and send over a Sheppards pie or Chicken pot pie for EVERYONE to eat. If that was the case, and all the other parents sign something saying that they are ok with this, then I would do it too.

But for soneone to send over food for a 12mos+ child and only for that one child - no I would not allow it. I'd just say at drop off ___ oh you can take the food back with you, we ALL eat the same thing together. You're welcome to bring enough for everyone if you'd like next time :D