Parent who is one time, but takes their time leaving

[Fun 88]

Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to know if anyone has run into this problem.
The father takes his time leaving and let's the kids run around the house for almost 15 minutes. I have come to the conclusion that he is stalling so that his wife is arriving at home and he is not alone with his children. I have talked to both parents and they say they understand! They are their children are the first to be picked up, so I have to watch their children run wild and the ones who are still in my care. What do I do?

[crafty]

I have the same problem with a mom ... no matter what I say or do she stalls. I think she figures I'm open until 5h30 so she is going to get her moneys worth I don't know. I've talked to her, I get her son ready to be out the door, I even started cooking diner, I told her I had appointements, I ignored the conversation ... If you find something that works ...PLEASE let me know. Not that I mind chitt chatt with adults but ... everynight and by the time she leaves, I'm way behind schedule sometimes and I have two of my own and a very hungry husband ;)

[momof5]

I have this issue as well! Mom shows up on time then hangs around for 20 mins while Dcg runs wild doing things she knows she's not permitted to do and mom seems to find this behaviour amusing! She has even climbed over the gate and went up into my older daughters room!
Some kids turn into monsters when parents arrive, she sure doesn't act the same during daycare hours!

[Crayola kiddies]

I had that problem with one parent and now I have the child ready at the door and standing there when parent walks in and I say to the child "ok give me five and have a good night". Then I say to the parent " xxxx had a great day see you tomorrow " and I put my hand on the door. Worked like a charm. Now parent walks in says to child are you ready? Then they go! If this doesn't work then say to the parent sorry I'm really busy i dont g
have time to chat have a good night....and block the way so they can't get in. And if the child runs off grab him/her and say nooo the day is over and it's time to go have a nice night..... And don't let them run off. I put a gate up for that reason so they can't get away and if parent is a few minutes late I have a chair where they can sit if I have to step over the gate to attend to something else

[Play and Learn]

Yup, I do the same as Crayola. I will have the child ready at the door, and just hold the door, and boot them out. I don't even let the parent come in to get them to realize that hanging around while I'm working is unacceptable!

I am always opening the door, and holding onto the door while parents enter or exit my home. I don't give them the chance to hang around.

[ECE53]

We are outside when Parents pick up. When the last Parent comes I say good night ant I walk away and go inside.

In the winter I have occasionally had that problem and when the Parent won't discipline I do . I have put children on time out for running in the house, pulling on my blinds hitting their parent and many other things..... My house my rules.

[Littledragon]

I have the SAME problem! Mom comes in and SIT DOWN ON MY COUCH! She takes off her shoes and everything. What I've started doing is (my living room - which is where the kids are during pick up and drop off hours - is right beside the front entrence) leaving the gate closed, having all his things ready to go - including his milk, and then picking him up over the gate and giving him to her. Then I walk away. Saying I am cooking dinner, or tending to something else. I always come back but she knows it's time to go. A few times she's even said "I guess we should go now". What does she think this is? A rest stop? Anyways, it seems to be doing the trick. I just don't pay attention to her conversation attempts. Luckily, she's sort of an awkward person so this whole situation makes her uncomfortable and she leaves. :)

Good luck!

[playfelt]

My front entrance area is gated off from the house so parents can come no further. When the doorbell rings everyone runs to the gate to see whose mom it is even though I am 99% sure cause I know the order they always come in and really so do they. I open gate and open door - ONLY the child whose parent it is may come out to the front area. I talk briefly to the parent while they dress. I step in if child is not cooperating. If parent is doing the reasoning with a toddler I just step in and say XXXX at Sharon's house you do as you are told sit down, put your coat on or whatever it is that is the issue and then once dressed say goodbye see you tomorrow and then disappear on the other side of the gate. Parent usually takes child in embarassment and leaves. The kids learn though that as long as I am standing there at the door they need to cooperate. It is when I get called away to the other kids that they start to put up a fight. It is funny how they will start and then look over at me and I give them that stern look and they then do as they are told. I think we need to have lessons in "the look" added to labour and delivery classes for use after birth.

[Play and Learn]

This is in my manual as part of Guidelines for Parents:

. Drop-off and pick-up on time. Do not linger. Do not bring toys, food, or drink for your child from home unless on special occasion or with permission. Provide supplies in a timely manner - diapers, appropriate spare clothing for the season and medicines/diaper creams. No shoes in the house (beyond the mat at the front door). Upon the third infraction of any guideline, as outlined in the manual, a two-week termination notice will be given.

Another part of this is
Respect the Daycare Provider. IF they can't do this, then they get a strike.

I also have a business in the evenings that I need to get ready for. During the interview process, I let the families know that pick-up needs to be quick, as I only have an hour of 'down time/supper time' until I teach for 3 hours in the evening. Again, if they can't respect my wishes/manual, then they get a strike/warning, and time to go.

THIS IS YOUR BUSINESS. YOUR HOME, YOUR RULES.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I personally do not mind if they stay a bit at pick up for a bit of a play and observation of their child with the other kids - as long as it is not the actual END of the day - however you follow the rules of my program or I will and DO ask you to leave ... I have had one client - the only one I ever vent about - who I have had to physically usher to my door or gate and say 'sorry you are not coping with mom / dad here it is time for them to take you home - we cannot behave like this at Reggio's house. We will see you tomorrow when you are rested and making better choices' - and they leave often with their child kicking and screaming out the house :rolleyes:

I thrive and INSIST on consistency for children ... the rules and consequences for poor choices in behavior are the same no matter WHO is present and to be honest if the client does not step up and parent their child at drop off or pick up I WILL - my house, my rules and my control!

[mimi]

I have one Mom who must tell me at closing about her day while ignoring her daughters plea for attention. I told my husband that after 5 minutes of this one way conversation (and she will tell me my cooking supper smells delicious as my husband loudly sets the table) to phone our house phone and then state it is for me. Works everytime.

[samantha3]

Wow, I have this problem too!! lol I always thought I was alone on this one. I am not sure why it even bothers me when the one mom comes in and sits down. I think it bothers me when other families start coming in and while I am reading stories to the children(our end of the day activity) they start to talk... umm, we cannot hear the story because you two are talking soooooooo loud!!! ahhh

Also, sometimes she lingers for almost an hour!!! I just feel that when another adult is around the children are always trying to push boundaries more, and it is at the end of the day so it can get to be quite exhausting! Vent over :)

[Crayola kiddies]

An hour ????? Seriously????? Does this parent not have a life?

[samantha3]

LOL, that is what I thought... she sometimes takes 30min to drop off too.... I am writing up an email to her as I saw this post. This behavior needs to stop cuz its driving me crazy!!!

[Fun 88]

Thank you for all of the comments.

My title of the thread should have read "Parent who is on time, but takes their time leaving.
The father is not much for small talk so it makes things weird.
The mom is great, when she drops off the child it is only 15 seconds!

[Fun 88]

I am going to try that tonight. Keep the other children away and have his kids ready. Thanks for the advice and will let you know!

[Momof4]

I have an entrance hallway into my home and I stand at the end of it and chat with the parents in the morning and in the afternoon and they can't get in. I have the children ready to go when the parents arrive and get them out as quickly as I can. I do have one Mom who likes to chat but I like her and don't mind. I would never put up with anybody coming in and making themselves comfortable in my home unless I asked them in. That's just rude!

[Cocoon]

I have one mom who comes in the morning and chat with me for half an hour. I don't mind as I like her and it is in the morning anyway:) Another mom who comes at pick up times. I like her too but she likes to chat not necessarily about her kid though but as I said I don't mind as long as I don't have anything to do on that day. Or I just tell the kid "shu shu go home I need to go out" jokingly of course :)

Mostly the kids run around and parents trying to catch them. Now what I do is get them ready and make them sit by the door so no one is running in my house and the pick up time is quicker :)

[clep]

I have one parent that stays till close every day and it is usually for about two hours!!!! I don't entertain her at all and she plays with all of the children. It still drives me crazy though as the children just aren't the same with any of the parents there.

[dodge__driver11]

clep are you serious?? would happen here Id ask the parent to take thier child home to play.

[playfelt]

I agree - this is NOT playgroup. Besides I have things I want to do with the group at the end of the day and they are in the way.

If she is paying for a full day and expecting to get her money's worth then she can just come later. Better yet make use of her - hand her a kid in poopy diaper or juice and cups to fill with a comment like as long as you are going to hang out here disrupting our routine you might as well make yourself useful and help out. Wonder how long she would do it. And if it is daily take advantage of it giving her all the tasks at the end of the day you don't feel like doing.

[Judy Trickett]

Just don't let the parents in your house. I make it very clear using my body language and my position between the front door and the rest of my house that parents are NOT welcome to come in at drop off or pick up. This is not playgroup, as playfelt has mentioned.

Besides, I do not allow ANY parent in my home while I am caring for the kids. I don't know WHO these people are. Where are their clear police checks? And, where is their liability insurance if it is THEY who harms a kid on my watch??

[Fun 88]

For some really weird reason he was early and left right away. I think he didn't want the car to heat up because of the 45 plus heat we are having!!

[Crayola kiddies]

Are you kidding me Clep ??? Two hours a parent spends at your house.... Umm I'd have the kid ready at the door and say enjoy your evening together see ya tomorrow . If I wanted company I'd invite a FRIEND over.

[Momof4]

Are you kidding me Clep ??? Two hours a parent spends at your house.... Umm I'd have the kid ready at the door and say enjoy your evening together see ya tomorrow . If I wanted company I'd invite a FRIEND over.

DITTO! I can't believe the nerve of that parent. Go home and spend some time with your child lady.

[apples and bananas]

I am very luck as I have a foyer in my house that is closed off to the front room by a door!!! With child proof handle on it!!! Mom's are welcome to walk into my front hallway if the door is open or unlocked as I only do this at pick up time. The very odd time that I don't notice them they always knock on the inside door, but I'm usually watching for them. I don't mind a bit of chit chat, i find most parents are anxious to get home!

I had one parent I was worried about in the first few weeks of care, she always seemed to hang around and ask questions "what are you doing this weekend, did you see this on the news etc..." But she's limited it now so I think she was just trying to get to know me being new here.