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View Full Version : Didn't know wether to laugh or cry



mimi
06-25-2012, 11:00 AM
One of my parents have been clients for six years. Mom has always been odd but nice. She can not follow the flow of a conversation (she looks off to the side like she is listening to voices) unless it is about herself. My other parents don't really chat when they see her as they have learned what she's like. Did I mention she is an elementary school teacher? Her two children whom I have cared for from infancy to school have been my little treasures. Wonderful kids (due to Dad) Mom gave to notice last week that her last child will not be returning in September for her last year before school. She notified me of this in the midst of a very busy moment with the kids. She said she has known for a year her parents would be moving in to take care of the kids. Could she not having had the curtisy to give me notice to fill her daughters spot? I am scrambling now to fill a fulltime spot and we know how easy those are to come by!
Anyway, this is her daughters last week so she shows up with a card and Victoria Secret bag and says it's for me as she typically runs out the door in her 20 second drop off. I look in the bag and there are 3 pair of earrings that as my 17 year old daughter said when she saw them "these are for hookers" or for a 21 year old going clubbing on new years eve. Her past gifts have always been useless to me but these showed a complete lack of thought especially for a good bye gift and given on a Monday when her child is her till Friday! I know it is the thought that counts, but there was obviously no thought put into this which is insulting. I would prefer a nice card with a nice note - those are so special to me
We, as a family, are very upset to lose this sweet girl and in such an abrupt way. This little one is so social, even the other parents adore her and now she will just have Grandma who can't drive. My question is this, do parents not realize how much we come to care for their children? We all Know eventually they will leave us, but I wish they would undersand it is painful for us to lose them. Thanks for allowing me to vent

Sandbox Sally
06-25-2012, 12:03 PM
I am sorry you are feeling hurt. It is very hard to lose a daycare child, especially one that you and your family clearly care for deeply. Am I to understand that she normally doesn't come in the summer anyway? I think that three months notice is plenty, personally.

As for the gift, it may show that she doesn't know your personality very well, but I certainly wouldn't be insulted by any gift I received from a parent.

Good luck filling your spot. You have several months. I hope you find a nice family to replace this one. :)

Littledragon
06-25-2012, 12:13 PM
I am so sorry about this! Sounds like mom is a bit of a.....moon case lol It's really too bad that she did that to you. It's hard not to be resentful when parents are so disrespectful. I have no advice but to say I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a kid you've enjoyed for long. :(

Good luck finding a replacement! I know how difficult it can be, especially in such a short time period.

Skysue
06-25-2012, 12:36 PM
Hi,

Knowing her character be grateful for her thoughtfulness. She is obviously a very left-brained person who is by the sounds of it very introverted as well.

It is very hard to end things for most of us and she probably waited to make sure that the move was in fact going to be 100%.

Given that she is a teacher her children are probably not in your care in the summer and I feel she has given ample notice.

I does put a bit of stress on you to fill your spots but look at it as a positive. It’s amazing for new prospective clients to see that the people leaving have stayed with you as long as they did. To me it’s a huge reflection on the amazing job you do and service you provided to her children.

Trust me some amazing little one is waiting in the wings to come to you.

Crayola kiddies
06-25-2012, 01:02 PM
I think I would ve thankful she didn't wait till end of aug to tell you ....good luck in filling your spot.

Lou
06-25-2012, 01:12 PM
It does sound a bit funny that she totally misread your style but I would just be thankful for the gift, and know she was thinkng of you. I'm sorry you're going to miss them! 3 months is wonderful notice, good luck filling your spot!

Inspired by Reggio
06-25-2012, 01:43 PM
Oh hon I agree it is the thought that counts specially with her zoned out personality that she thought enough to even get 'anything' is what matters in the end even though it does in that moment feel like 'why did you bother' based on the lack of appropriateness to your taste or style.

I can empathize ~ she sounds like my own MOTHER who could not buy me a suitable gift if her life depended on it ... has bought me pierced earrings recently and my ears are not even pierced for the past 20 years, buys me 'bath products' with perfume in despite that I have very noticeable skin allergies :rolleyes: She buys things that SHE likes verses stopping to put empathy into her gifts thinking 'what would Reggio like' ... and she does this with everyone because she can just not think from anyone's perspective but her own ... great thing about her is she is forgetful so you can wait a year or two and regift it back to her and she would have NO CLUE :o

mimi
06-25-2012, 02:46 PM
It is amazing how self absorbed people can be - even Moms with their own kids! I remember as a young adult going with my mother so I could pick out a Christmas present. When I chose something she let out a big sigh and said "at least that's over with" I didn't have much so it was not like I was difficult to shop for! Thanks for your insight Reggio I would love to see your reaction as your mother accepts one of her gifts back from you! How can you keep a straight face? :laugh:

playfelt
06-25-2012, 02:56 PM
... great thing about her is she is forgetful so you can wait a year or two and regift it back to her and she would have NO CLUE :o

And I bet you get an oh and ah and a "oh just what I always wanted, how thoughtful" kind of response from her. Sad though as you say.

How much notice parents give when they could have given more is one of the banes of our lives in the sense that we need to advertise so early. One of the things I just put in my contract is that teachers must give me a two week deposit for the first two weeks of September non refundable by June 1 or I advertise the space - did this in response to how many of you are having issues with teachers. So far my luck with them had been good but it has also been quite a few years since I have had one as I put them off as long as I can hoping to fill the space with someone else -and I am a teacher by training too but they so don't gel with what I want for my daycare now that my own kids are grown.