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View Full Version : Seriously, how do you relax?!



godsgirl
06-29-2012, 04:18 PM
Hello! Ok, so I have just recently opened my day home and have had my first child for three days so far. Everything is seeming to go good so far but I can't seem to relax. I'm always watching the clock and I feel like I am always staying on top of my day home child. (i.e. don't throw toys, wash your hands, slow down, please don't push the toy in his (my sons) face, we don't chase the dog, gentle with the toys, etc). I feel like I'm being too anal.

1) I think I'm just not used to having bigger children around 2) I'm paranoid that the kids are going to get bored (really though, this first child seems happy to just be playing) 3) I don't want the toys get broken (probably because most of them are my sons)

I think my biggest fear is that in 2 weeks I get my other 2 full time children (totaling 3) and I'm nervous that it might get worse. I just can't relax!! Does it get better? Any tips on how to chill out while still keeping order?

mimi
06-29-2012, 05:38 PM
when I first started I was panicked about having 2 children to care for under 2. Then then next one came less panick as I had developed a routine. Now 5, no problem. Get in a good routine - kids love to be able to predict what will happen next, put your sons toys away and invest in d/c toys only, and try to relax yourself around the kids. They can pick up on your anxiety and act up. Do not worry about kids getting bored. With enough toys and creative items for them to play with they will construct their own play, let them think for themselves. If someone seems bored, make a couple of suggestions to them. If they don't do it then read a book with them and then suggest they play with something.

bright sparks
06-29-2012, 05:45 PM
I think being consistant from day one with behaviour and habits as you described is a very good thing. The children SHOULD respect toys whether they are your sons or not. I am always on my dck's cases for good manners and playing appropriately. Ultimatly thats how they learn, by us consistantly telling them. Before you know it they will adopt these habits and behaviours and the frequency with which you remind them for the most will reduce. Some children may need more of these reminders if these good behaviours/habits arent reinforced at home. Its very important for the children to learn these things, so bravo to you for being consistant as they will be better kids for it in the long run.

Once your other 2 children arrive you will probably find the kiddies entertain themselves a little more independently so you can take a step back and observe the children happily playing. I think its a bit overwhelming at first when you start a daycare.Its so much busier than you first think IMO.

Make sure you schedule some "self care" time. At naptimes and also out of work hours. Its really easy to burn out in this job if you don't look after yourself. I'm sure you are doing a great job theres just a bit of an adjustment period for both the kids and yourself.

Mamma_Mia
06-30-2012, 01:19 AM
just to add....and sometimes its good for you and the child to just sit back and let them be FREE be KIDS! As long as they are not harming anyone or aiming to break a toy - let him play.
If you are worried that the toys will be broken THAT much then buy used ones for daycare use only, otherwise it's fair game. If there are special items put those away, out of reach.....you can't guard every toy 24/7. Now I don't mean they should be breaking things on pourpose but accidents happen. If you're on them TOO much they wont know how to play without 'someone' telling them how to.

It also depends how long this child has been with you, it seems that we remnind them of the rules more often in the begining....they will learn them and you'll only have to say a few times vs 10000x's over. When I yell out that lunch is ready my 3 & 2 year olds already start cleaning up the toys....they know the routine and what's expected of them.

Inspired by Reggio
06-30-2012, 07:11 AM
I agree ~ once you've established a consistent routine and expectations for both behavior and flow of your day it will run smoothly ... and honestly I also find that when you have 'more' children the play and day is much quieter and calmer because they seem to have that more variety in each other for play pairing and building free play ideas off as well as they 'redirect' their own behavior for you .... in all honesty the days that I am low I feel like I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off putting out 'disagreement fires' between them and redirecting behaviors and it feels like I had 12 kids underfoot and yet when I am FULL with 5 kids I am able to sit back and watch them more, able to get things done and prepped in the playroom for other days and still be 'bored' and need take a break on here.

Inspired by Reggio
06-30-2012, 07:14 AM
Also wanted to add that one of the things I do when I have a 'newbie' to help with me not having to feel like I spend all day saying 'don't do this or that' is help them with visual reminders ~ I have little laminated stop signs that I place on places where you do not touch and do not play and I will tell the baby 'see STOP' and after a few times of reinforcing those things they actually DO get it and you can see them 'starting' to go for something and seeing the stop sign and redirecting themselves.

Momof4
07-01-2012, 03:26 PM
I enforce rules from day one and agree that consistency has to be taught and it is exhausting for the first several months. But once they get it you will be glad you put in all the work and you will have the best behaved daycare children and your days will be happy.

Everywhere I go with my 5 little ones I hear comments about how well behaved they are all the time. I tell people that I worked hard to get to this point and I'm setting the children on the road to a good life of respecting others and having fun while always being kind. Seriously, I don't have any issues with behaviour, after the first difficult several months of course.

Littledragon
07-04-2012, 08:57 AM
I had my son and one other little boy for three months. I felt the same way - always guiding and shushing and "nit picking". Now that I have two more kids, I find I'm not doing that so much. I have an older one now, 2.5, and I do find that I am saying a lot of what you said: slow down, no running in the kitchen, watch my toes, those toys are not yours, they're mine and so on. He's just getting accustomed to the new house and the new rules, he'll adjust, and so will yours.

I feel the same way about not wanting to disturb my son and his toys, after all, this is why I am doing this, so I can be home with him and I want him to be happy, but toys break, and my son has to learn too, he can't expect to get away with things that the other kids don't.

When the new one starts, you won't be nit picking so much, and you will calm down. Soon enough, you will.

PS: I still constantly watch the clock lol