busydaycarelady
07-16-2012, 11:03 AM
Hello!
I have one 3.5 year old daughter. She has always been very independent and I suppose this is probably just some sort of phase. Lately(like over the course of the last 3 months) when the dayhome kids are over, she will want to play with them (which is of course what I want them to do is get along and play together) however, when I join in the activity with them whether it is coloring, playing toys, reading, etc my daughter will tell me "We want you to go away and play by ourselves", she has even said to me "Go do laundry" or "Go wash dishes" to try to get me to leave the vicinity. They aren't ever doing anything that they shouldn't be, so it's not like she's trying to hide something from me. I never railroad the activity and turn it into what I want to do. I try to let them lead and use their imaginations and I always give them time during the day for "free play". The other kids never say this stuff to me.
I understand wanting to play with your friends, but it is sometimes an attitude that carries on for the entire day, for days on end. But once the dayhome kids are gone, she wants my undivided attention and generally this only starts during a time she knows I NEED to do something such as cook supper. She will ask me to play with her as I am cooking, so I try to give her a simple job, but she won't want to do it and she will pout because "mommy doesn't want to play with me". So I tell her to bring her toys into the kitchen and we will play as I cook or talk to each other as I cook. But same result. After dinner I generally go to the gym for 30-60 minutes and she cries because she wants mommy! Whenever I leave the house without her she throws a fit and it continues for a while after I have left. I have told her it is okay to play with her friends but that it is my job to look after all of them and that I like to see what they are doing and play with them. I don't spoil her or let her get away with whatever she wants, she has rules and boundaries and I expect her to adhere to them as best as a 3 year old can.
Anyhow, I am finding this particular behavior very, very frustrating today and disheartening because it makes me wonder if I have made some huge parenting blunder somewhere along the way and I have stayed home in order to be with her but it seems like she doesn't actually want me around. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it does. It might be silly, but I am wondering if anyone else has gone through a "phase" similar to this? And any advice on how to not let it bother me or ways to improve her attitude? Or is it simply her personality and I must wait this out? I feel as though at the end of the day, I've been near her physically but that I haven't really spent "quality" time with her? Not sure if any of this makes sense. *sigh*
I have one 3.5 year old daughter. She has always been very independent and I suppose this is probably just some sort of phase. Lately(like over the course of the last 3 months) when the dayhome kids are over, she will want to play with them (which is of course what I want them to do is get along and play together) however, when I join in the activity with them whether it is coloring, playing toys, reading, etc my daughter will tell me "We want you to go away and play by ourselves", she has even said to me "Go do laundry" or "Go wash dishes" to try to get me to leave the vicinity. They aren't ever doing anything that they shouldn't be, so it's not like she's trying to hide something from me. I never railroad the activity and turn it into what I want to do. I try to let them lead and use their imaginations and I always give them time during the day for "free play". The other kids never say this stuff to me.
I understand wanting to play with your friends, but it is sometimes an attitude that carries on for the entire day, for days on end. But once the dayhome kids are gone, she wants my undivided attention and generally this only starts during a time she knows I NEED to do something such as cook supper. She will ask me to play with her as I am cooking, so I try to give her a simple job, but she won't want to do it and she will pout because "mommy doesn't want to play with me". So I tell her to bring her toys into the kitchen and we will play as I cook or talk to each other as I cook. But same result. After dinner I generally go to the gym for 30-60 minutes and she cries because she wants mommy! Whenever I leave the house without her she throws a fit and it continues for a while after I have left. I have told her it is okay to play with her friends but that it is my job to look after all of them and that I like to see what they are doing and play with them. I don't spoil her or let her get away with whatever she wants, she has rules and boundaries and I expect her to adhere to them as best as a 3 year old can.
Anyhow, I am finding this particular behavior very, very frustrating today and disheartening because it makes me wonder if I have made some huge parenting blunder somewhere along the way and I have stayed home in order to be with her but it seems like she doesn't actually want me around. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it does. It might be silly, but I am wondering if anyone else has gone through a "phase" similar to this? And any advice on how to not let it bother me or ways to improve her attitude? Or is it simply her personality and I must wait this out? I feel as though at the end of the day, I've been near her physically but that I haven't really spent "quality" time with her? Not sure if any of this makes sense. *sigh*