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View Full Version : Terminating the family that should have been terminated a long time ago!



apples and bananas
07-25-2012, 06:35 PM
I sat in the play room today watching my clock at 5:25 hoping this family would be a few minutes late as it is time to terminate! And ... THEY WERE!!! I was sent a message late afternoon saying a family member would pick up. I waited and they didn't arrive... I had a feeling there was an issue with communication. I sent the text at 5:31 asking where they were... she showed up at 5:36 saying that she was at home... there was a misunderstanding and she didn't even realize XXXX wasn't home. WHAT??? You were missing a child? WOW! (family member babysits her older child at her house.)

I quickly told her that I had somewhere to be and I would see them tomorrow.

So, I am going to wait until I recieve payment on Friday then send a termination email that evening. I see no reason to give any notice as she has already asked me if she can pull him for a family member to babysit over the summer.

I don't have a lot of trust with her either... so I'm a little concerned that if I continue care after termination she will try to stiff me in the end. Not willing to take that risk. She was my first client so I didn't do the deposit towards the last 2 weeks that I do now.

So frustrating! And I don't want to deal with the conflict. But, i still have a bunch of diapers, wipes and some extra clothes they leave here.

Wish me luck! I should have terminated a long time ago, but with both kids in care it's hard to see 2 go at once. But she's pulled her older one, so it's just one spot to fill.

Momof4
07-25-2012, 07:12 PM
I would not send a termination email. I would type a letter and hand it to them or put it in the child's bag and tell the parent to read the letter that evening. You should put it on paper, it's more business like and they can't claim that they didn't get it, you know?

I do wish you luck and I'm happy you are certain about your decision. Nobody likes conflict, so just get it over quickly. LUCK!

apples and bananas
07-25-2012, 07:19 PM
here's the problem... she pays me via email money transfer Friday evenings... yes... I know... dumb on my part to allow it, but it's pattern now so I can't suddenly demand payment at the door. My policies say "on the last day of care weekly" technically she pays me on time.

Littledragon
07-25-2012, 08:26 PM
Oh Apple and Bananas, that sounds absolutely amazing! haha Good for you for getting "rid" of something toxic in your life. I wish I could do the same! I am very envious lol

I would do a written letter as well, perhaps you could do an email termination and then send them a written one in the mail "for their records". That way it looks like you were just taking your chance and letting them go when you needed to. OR you could drop it off in their mail box Saturday morning lol no, that's silly. I think an email would be fine. To make it more professional, you could write it on a letter head and send it as an attachment. Then it's not in email format but in a professional letter format, but digitally.

Anyways, I'm happy for you and I hope my termination letter is just around the corner! lol

kidlove
07-26-2012, 07:40 AM
Good Luck!!!! :thumbup:

apples and bananas
07-26-2012, 08:22 AM
She shows up this morning and says sorry again for yesturday. It was a total misunderstanding. blah blah blah. She also brought her kid was a peice of bread (against my policies because of severe allergies in my house) and a teeny tiny bouncy ball. Anyone want to guess how the kid reacted when mom pryed it out of his hands then left without hardly saying good bye? Wanna guess how my first 20 min of the day went? LOL

Is it Friday yet???? Cause I am super excited to issue this termination... and she obviously has no idea it's coming.

kidlove
07-26-2012, 08:31 AM
In a twisted way. "doesnt it feel soooooooo good" to be in control for once. Just seems in this job alot of the time you long for moments of letting the "trouble" families go!!!!!it's ussly just a fantasy:) you go girl, sure you"ll have a GREAT weekend when its all said and DONE.:yes::D:laugh:

Momof4
07-26-2012, 08:42 AM
Ok, what's that old saying? FAILURE TO PLAN ON YOUR PART DOES NOT CREATE AN EMERGENCY ON MY PART. I don't think that's quite right, who can fix it? But you ladies need to put this on your front doors or bulletin boards or somewhere that parents can see it.

Judy Trickett
07-26-2012, 08:59 AM
No, no, no......when you terminate someone in order to continue to receive ANY care within the termination period (so, the last two weeks or whatever your termination notice period is), they have to pay you for the remainder of care the next care day. So, let's say you charge $30 a day and you give them notice of two weeks this Friday. Monday morning she has to come with $300 or she can not come in your door. Period. THAT is how you ensure you do not get screwed for fees for the last two weeks.

apples and bananas
07-26-2012, 09:16 AM
Judy, that's a great policy. Let me question it...

So, I'm the client and you've just terminated me. Then you tell me that in order to continue for 2 weeks I have to come up with 300.00. So... why (as a client) would I continue through the termination period?

(not arguing, just want to get a better insight of your idea behind the policy)

Judy Trickett
07-26-2012, 09:22 AM
Judy, that's a great policy. Let me question it...

So, I'm the client and you've just terminated me. Then you tell me that in order to continue for 2 weeks I have to come up with 300.00. So... why (as a client) would I continue through the termination period?

(not arguing, just want to get a better insight of your idea behind the policy)

Ah, but here's the thing.....If I have terminated you then I likely want you GONE.....as in, TODAY. But, since my contract says 2 weeks notice is due (unless you have done something REALLY wrong) I go by the contract. So, at least if you say that you are gonna stay the duration of the notice period I KNOW I am getting paid for it and if you suddenly develop short-timers and do stupid stuff like start showing up half an hour late, or being rude etc I CAN and WILL then just terminate you immediately and keep your fees.

It just stops parents from continuing care through the notice period, having a hate on for you, and trying to screw with you in other ways.

apples and bananas
07-26-2012, 09:28 AM
excellent... I'm rewriting my policies to release in September. :)

Judy Trickett
07-26-2012, 09:42 AM
excellent... I'm rewriting my policies to release in September. :)


Yes, BUT......also remember that most providers take a deposit and it gets applied to the last two weeks of care. And here's why.......unless you are in a financial position to potentially lose out on the notice period of fees you SHOULD take a deposit when they sign on to care and keep it for their last two weeks.

The only reason I use the deposit at the beginning of care is because one, I am in the financial position to take that chance, and two, I am FAR more likely to have someone leave abruptly because I terminated them rather than them just leaving. And when I terminate you I just want you to LEAVE. But, if there is a two week deposit for the end of care lingering around parents make a stink over unused money and then you have to deal with that. If there is no money left on the table they usually just go away - even if you terminated them and they are mad. The only reason parents give you a hard time about terminating them is always due to money.

Just take a look at your situation and decide which way YOU are better to apply the deposit.

apples and bananas
07-26-2012, 09:46 AM
Would anyone mind reading the term letter I've written up and give me some feedback? Thanks,


"Dear XXXX,

On June 7th 2012, after a late pickup without notice, I issued you a letter to advise you that I would not be able to care for your children past 5:30. I also advised you that if you were to be late in the future I would have to terminate our daycare arrangement. On June 21st 2012 we had a second discussion after you were late to pick up the boys. Again on Wednesday the 25th you were late to pick up XXXX.

After careful consideration, due to several lates over a short period of time I will be terminating our daycare arrangment. As per my policies I am offering 2 weeks notice and am happy to continue care for XXXX until August 10 (keeping in mind I am closed August 6th) In order to care for XXXX through the termination period I will require payment of the 2 weeks in advance. If you wish to take advantage of this option please let me know before Sunday July 29th at noon. Otherwise I will assume you do not require care. You are welcome to pick up the remainder of XXXX diapers and wipes as well as the boys additional clothes at your convenience. Please let me know when you would like to do that and I will have everything ready for you.

I have sincerely enjoyed caring for both boys. I find this situation unfortunate, however, I feel that our arrangment will no longer work with my business anymore.

I wish you all the best going foward.

Apples and Bananas"

apples and bananas
07-26-2012, 09:48 AM
Yes, BUT......also remember that most providers take a deposit and it gets applied to the last two weeks of care. And here's why.......unless you are in a financial position to potentially lose out on the notice period of fees you SHOULD take a deposit when they sign on to care and keep it for their last two weeks.

The only reason I use the deposit at the beginning of care is because one, I am in the financial position to take that chance, and two, I am FAR more likely to have someone leave abruptly because I terminated them rather than them just leaving. And when I terminate you I just want you to LEAVE. But, if there is a two week deposit for the end of care lingering around parents make a stink over unused money and then you have to deal with that. If there is no money left on the table they usually just go away - even if you terminated them and they are mad. The only reason parents give you a hard time about terminating them is always due to money.

Just take a look at your situation and decide which way YOU are better to apply the deposit.

I feel the same way. My deposit is applied to the first 2 weeks not the last. I like my clients to be with me long term and i don't like having that money lingering around until they leave.... or age out. I also like to have the power to term immediatly and not deal with a refund at that point.

Inspired by Reggio
07-26-2012, 10:00 AM
(not arguing, just want to get a better insight of your idea behind the policy)

I agree with your confusion ~ if things are ending 'badly' and the provider is terminating why would the parent want to send their child to a provider who has said they have had ENOUGH and did not want their business anymore ... seriously most parents are going keep their money and use it to take time off to find a NEW provider?

If you have to 'collect' payment over the notice period than the provider would than have to SUE to try to get her notice money. Than the risk is that since the client did not use any 'service' during that notice period and the service provider was therefore free to take on another client that the client would have just as much a chance to 'win' cause some judges are going to look at that and think the same thing 'why would anyone leave their child with someone whose said they've had enough and if they are not using service why pay them'?

When I worked in centre care if we terminated an employee, even WITH cause, we just paid them to leave in lieu of notice ... we did not WANT them there anymore so we paid them two weeks pay in lieu of notice ~ and even if we had cause to fire them we gave them two weeks pay because it was CHEAPER than having them try to file a wrongful dismissal suit ~ cause no one ever SEES that there was cause when something like that happens ~ the other person is automatically seen as unfair ass ... and seriously we fired someone who had gotten verbal notice cause she threatened to duct tape a kids mouth shut and than repeated the behavior ~ she still did not see she had done anything 'wrong'. :roll:

If we terminated a child it was the same thing ~ it was effective immediately and any money 'prepaid' for service was returned to the client cause we just wanted them GONE by that point and sucked up the loss in revenue to have that happen ... the only time that a deposit was kept was if the reason for terminating was 'contractual' aka they had not paid their fees and had fees outstanding the deposit was kept to cover that and care ceased immediately!

IMO as the service provider we take the most 'financial risk' here and therefore should have policies in place for protecting us and our income UP FRONT .... if we keep money of a client that we do not deserve based on our contract that is technically FRAUD and clients have recourse through BBB, Small Claims court and even taking 'criminal action' depending on how much $$ we are talking about here .... if the client manages to 'stiff' us on our service provided our only recourse is small claims court which costs us even more money to try to recoupe in lost time of work and so forth and no guarantee we will 'win' depending on the whim of the judge and is he pro small business or pro customer in his politics!

I choose do the security deposit for the last two weeks because than if I did not WANT the client in care over the notice it is in MY control whether I am out the money or not ... I can refund the deposit money back to the client via a money order and be DONE by removing the option to come or I can choose to keep it and allow them to come and if the client chooses not to send their child well that is their choice ... the service was therefore them to use if desired! If they bounce a cheque on me and refuse to reimburse it care is DONE and they loose the deposit so I am at least not out for having actually provided the service I am just out the 'notice period' of finding a new client.

Momof4
07-26-2012, 03:30 PM
That's a very good letter apples & bananas, straight and to the point and buslinesslike and professional. I hope this goes very smoothly for you without the parents going freaky on you. And I REALLY hope you get your money.

apples and bananas
07-26-2012, 03:42 PM
I've decided to issue the letter via email Saturday morning (so it doesn't look like I was waiting to be paid) And I will attach it as a PDF. I'll also give her a copy when she picks up her receipts and the remainder of the supplies she has here. If she doesn't pick them up I will mail out the paperwork.

I agree, not the best way Id like to handle it, but this lady thinks she has 9 lives with me. I don't want to have a face to face with her in front of the kids and I know she will immediatly know the letter is to terminate and immediatly open it and read it in front of me. This is a person that needs to read it while I'm not in front of her.

I also know she has care for her other child through the family because she removed him from my care for "camp" and now he's suddenly showing up with her to pick up the young one. Ya... Camp...right... So, she has alternate care immediatly.

Littledragon
07-26-2012, 07:14 PM
Just a question: I would issue my termination on pay day. They pay Monday morning for the following two weeks. I would give them termination letter at the end of the day. Is that underhanded?

Lou
07-26-2012, 08:16 PM
Your letter sounds great! I'm so glad you're getting them out of your hair!

Judy Trickett
07-27-2012, 06:43 AM
Just a question: I would issue my termination on pay day. They pay Monday morning for the following two weeks. I would give them termination letter at the end of the day. Is that underhanded?

Nope, not at all. Here's the thing.....when a dcparent gets terminated via the dreaded "letter" that means, for the most part, it is somewhat unexpected. Well, I see this no different than someone getting fired at their job. Here's the thing, it takes considerable time, resources and money to replace both dckids AND employees. No one terminates a kid or fires an employee unless they HAVE to. It is always FAR easier to keep the kids you have or the employee you have.

So, if someone is getting terminated, just like the real world of work and employees, it is NEVER underhanded. Just like how I believe that people get themselves fired, dcfamilies get themselves terminated. Perhaps if they had done their part and lived up to the terms of the contract that they signed and agreed upon at the onset of care then they wouldn't have to be worried about being "underhandedly" handed a termination letter on pay day.

Stop worrying about the dcparents feelings. If you have to terminate them then they have already been given enough thought (and likely chances) over and over and over again.

Now, with that said..........someth ing to always consider is the form of payment. If they paid by cheque, and you give them a term letter on pay day you can guarantee they will cancel payment on that cheque. So, if payment issues are gonna come up then be sure you actually HAVE your money BEFORE you hand over that letter. Even if you have to take that cheque to the bank it was issued on and cash it for "cash" then that is what you do to ensure you get paid before you give them the opportunity to NOT pay you.

kidlove
07-27-2012, 06:56 AM
From the parents point of view...I completely understand that question. If you terminated me I would be like "ok see ya!" no way I would pay for the next two weeks. I guess if your not paid ahead (the parent) then when the provider terminates...you walk. The only way I could see that working would be if they pay ahead for two weeks at a time, so you wait for them to pay that money and then terminate. that way if they get pissed and walk, you get that cash...otherwise they have to stick it out and stay 2 weeks while you search to fill the spot. I dont know about anyone else but when I have been desperate enough to get rid of someone (twice in almost 10 years) I didnt care about the money, I just never wanted them to walk through my door again!!!!!!! :)

Judy Trickett
07-27-2012, 06:59 AM
From the parents point of view...I completely understand that question. If you terminated me I would be like "ok see ya!" no way I would pay for the next two weeks. I guess if your not paid ahead (the parent) then when the provider terminates...you walk. The only way I could see that working would be if they pay ahead for two weeks at a time, so you wait for them to pay that money and then terminate. that way if they get pissed and walk, you get that cash...otherwise they have to stick it out and stay 2 weeks while you search to fill the spot. I dont know about anyone else but when I have been desperate enough to get rid of someone (twice in almost 10 years) I didnt care about the money, I just never wanted them to walk through my door again!!!!!!! :)

EXACTLY. And this is why I use my deposit at the beginning of care. Because when I want you gone I want you GONE. I want you to leave NOW. I do not want you hanging around quibbling over money.

But, not everyone has the ability to just terminate on a whim and be okay with it for financial reasons. So, as fellow providers, we have to share with them, options to ensuring they can still pay their mortgage while maintaining professionalism and staying within the terms of the contract.

And what we also need to remember is that the parents SIGNED a contract that clearly stated that two weeks fees were STILL due at the end of care. So, it really doesn't matter if they are mad and say 'see ya" the point is they agreed to those terms at the onset of care. They don't get to agree when it is convenient and then disagree and WALK when it's not. THEY got themselves terminated and now they live and die by the contract - and that means paying the last two weeks.