Too many kids

[Littledragon]

Have you ever taken on more kids than you can handle? Obviously not on purpose, but you realized once you had them that you couldn't handle the amount of kids (stress-wise) What did you do?

[playfelt]

I think the same applies not so much to too many but too much work in the sense of sit down and think about what it is that puts the stress over the top - is it the child that cries too much, the child that demands too much, the parent that is inconsistent, the child that seems to be busier than the rest of the group and stirs them up, the child that doesn't fit in age wise - some little some older and an odd age in between that doesn't fit with either group, etc. Once you have identified what it is that is leading to the stress decide your options.

It won't be that you have taken on too many kids - it will be that you have taken on the wrong group of kids/parents.

Once you have identified the stressor look at making changes that will help such as simplifying routines, changing program expectations, speaking with the parent about the issue, and ultimately releasing the stressor and repacing them with someone that better fits with the group.

[apples and bananas]

Yes, I have. And it wasn't so much too much, it was the wrong fit, just like Playfelt suggested. I had this child for 6 months and when I sat down and identified why I was having such a hard time I decided it was this child. Didn't sleep long enough, here for too many hours in one day, inconsistent schedule so I had to "reset" her everytime she came. And the list goes on. I ended up terminated care as I couldn't do the late hours anymore.

I think it is important to really look at what it is (or who) that's created the stress then go from there.

[sunnydays]

Also, just to add to what the others have said, there is an adjustment period during which it feels stressful and chaotic when you add to your numbers. When I first started I thought I would only take 2...when I added the third, it felt crazy for awhile...then it was fine...then I added the 4th and it was crazy for awhile...now it is fine and I'll be adding number 5 in the fall! If it is new that you have this number of kids, give yourself a good month to adjust to it before deciding you can't do it.

[Inspired by Reggio]

....It won't be that you have taken on too many kids - it will be that you have taken on the wrong group of kids/parents....

Agreed ~ when I was in centre care I had groups of children between 2 years to 4 years where I could easily managed and provide a program to 8 of them and at times of the day have up to 12 kids and still provide a safe and fun environment for them albeit it more of an assembly line we are doing the 'same' things ... however I have had groups in that same setting where I was stressed beyond belief with only 5 of them due to the 'mix' of personalities in that group.

Working from home, by myself, without some of the extra pairs of hands and resources of centre care I am very careful of the 'mix' of children I take on ... both age/development wise and personality wise ... as well as ensuring that the clients / parents share my core values and willingness to work with me with their child to ensure that they gentle, empathetic and respectful learners in the program.

[Littledragon]

The ages of my kids are 11.5 months, 12 months (my son) 15 months, 22 months and 2.5. The ages seem fine. The 22 month old just started and he is currently sleep training - not doing very well. Cries a lot - and I have to sit down in the room with him until he falls asleep. My 11 month old TALKS until she falls asleep which keeps everyone up because she is so loud (the kids are scattered around the house, but i had no choice but to make two kids share a room - the 11 month old and 2.5 year old). My 15 month old has never napped properly, but up until now he's had his own room, but I had to put the noobie in my room. The 15 month old is now in the basement and he HATES it (the basement is our main play area). Even my son doesn't seem to want to nap. My son is acting out (pulling hair, hitting) because I think there are just too many kids. Sometimes I see him just standing there, watching everyone playing and being kind of overwhelmed. Also, the 2.5 year old seems to be acting out as well - grabbing toys, being mean when I'm not watching, not listening when I say no (he was really good before, but I wonder if it's because he just started 4 weeks ago and now he's coming out of his shell).

As I mentioned before, the basement is my main play area - going up the stairs is great because everyone except the 11 month old can climb the stairs. But bringing them down the stairs is tough. I have to carry two at a time, and leave three upstairs. Then I have to carry one, hold the other's hand and luckily the 2 year old is OK to do the stairs.

I'm really struggling. I am stressed all day and by the end of the day, I'm exhausted. Last night, my husband and I went out for supper, he thought I needed to be taken away from the house, I was so tired I was delirious and I almost fell asleep in the car on the way home. I really don't think it's the age group. The 22 month old doesn't come until 10 so I only have four right now, and it's fine - calm and everyone is playing nicely. The 11 month old leaves at four, so for an hour and a half last night, I had the 12 month old, 15 month old, 22 month old and the 2.5 year old and it was fine. I do find though, that the only one the 22 month old has bonded with is the 2.5 year old. I know he's only been here three days and I just need to give him time. Last night, the dogs were barking upstairs and he got nervous and ran over to me and hugged me. (I mentioned in another post that I'm having a difficult time bonding with him because he won't let me. He comes to me for comfort but otherwise won't smile or anything. He smiles and laughs with the other kids, but he just stares at me, this blank look in his face. It's really hard to bond with a kid like that - especially because he can't talk)

LUCKILY (yes, there is a silver lining) the 11 month old is leaving soon. That will be less babies to carry. In the meantime though, I'm finding this very difficult. I've put an ad on kijiji for a volunteer but not bites :( I just put up the post to see if this has ever happened to someone (felt they took on more than they could handle) and what they did :)

[playfelt]

Consider changing some of the routines. We have a basement playroom and use going up is much better than coming down. But you can teach them all to crawl down backwards and insist on that as long as you want. Then it means all of them are coming down at the same time just slowly. I don't let them sit forward and bum down because it is too easy to lean forward or get foot stuck and fall forward so they must turn around and crawl backwards.

That then means you don't have to carry anyone except maybe the youngest for a bit longer. It will get better each month as they get older.

Look at he sleeping and see if that can be rearranged to put the best nappers in the same place and let the criers cry it out together or put one that sleeps through anything with a crier since it won't matter.

Keep meals simple, outings to a minimum if at all including to the park if you have access to a back yard. Get a stroller/wagon for 5 and make them all ride and go for walks to get out - ie everyone is contained.

[Littledragon]

Yes! I think I am going to have to rethink my routine - at least until the little one leaves. It just seems like something bad happens everyday! Everything was going great yesterday - all the babies were down for their morning naps and I came downstairs and the two year old was sitting on my couch pillow on the floor and he'd peed and pooped his pants! I was LIVID. But since the kid is still new to potty training, I tried really hard to get mad. So, now the couch is BANNED and I'm trying to get them to play in the basement more. Originally, I would let them play in the living room if I was too lazy to bring them all downstairs, but now I want to keep living room play to a minimum. It just feels like everyone is acting out, no one is listening, everyone is crying at nap (even my son who never used to) and I'm going CRAZY! Even my dogs are driving me NUTS! (They're also banned from pretty much every room in the house during daycare hours as of yesterday because they're like two more kids.)

I am going to try the stairs thing. My basement stairs aren't "kid friendly" so I really have to be careful but I am going to try it. If it means my sanity, it's worth a shot! lol

GOD I'M SO GLAD YOU GUYS ARE HERE! LOL WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?? I'd probably be in a straight jacket lol