View Full Version : Biting

Amateur Owner
04-01-2011, 10:23 AM
Has anyone experienced a biter in their group? If so, how did you get them to stop?

Play and Learn
04-01-2011, 11:33 AM
I had a biter in the last daycare I worked at. Her parents knew about the problem, and were there to support us! (amazing eh?) :woot:

We asked the parents to bring a teething toy/ring for us. If we saw that she was leaning in to bite, we'd pull her away, give her the ring and she'd sit in time out. After time out, we told her that teeth are for eating/chewing food. It got to the point that we would just look at her, and she would grab her ring and sit in the time out chair. Parents did the same thing at home. It lasted for 3 weeks maybe?

04-01-2011, 12:07 PM
I had a chronic biter and hitter in my daycare for over a year. He was like this before he even started with me, so the issue was there beforehand. It was the worst year of my life. He was the cutest little boy with the most charming smile, but as soon as you turned your back he would attack another child. My youngest daughter was only 3 months old at the time and he was constantly going after her. All I could do was shadow him (follow him around all day) and catch him before he bit.

I should have terminated him right away but I was trying to be sympathetic to everyone. Later I found out that his parents were separating and in the process of trying to sell their house. Things started getting really nasty between the parents and the child was getting worse. I wanted desperately to terminate him but the parent were begging me to hold on until they sold their house.

After that experience I don't think I could tolerate another biter. It was extremely stressful and his parents did not take his behavior seriously. If I were ever in that situation again, I would just terminate the child and would not feel guilty about doing so.

04-04-2011, 10:12 PM
I had an almost 2 year old girl that was biting when she started. I just kept a consistent consequence (ie. a firm "NO BITING, biting hurts", then a 1 minute time out on a chair a few feet away). It only took a week or two for her to stop.
And now I am dealing with another little boy (18 months) who is biting and hitting. He is only part time, so it's a little tougher, I feel, to make that impact. I mean, he goes home with mom and dad and doesn't come back for a week or more. But we will keep it up, and reassess if need be in the future.

04-05-2011, 08:00 AM
Once those back molars come in the biting often stops on it's own so there is always hope.

Judy Trickett
04-05-2011, 08:07 AM
Hmmmm....I don't have biters. I just don't. I don't allow aggressive kids in any way and I think I just put out that vibe to the kids. I also don't have kids that hit or push either.

I know you're all sitting there thinking I am lying through my teeth (no pun intended) but I just don't have biters.

The ONLY biter I EVER had was in my first year of care - and well, I kind of sucked back then!:laugh:

04-05-2011, 12:29 PM
I would continue to follow through with what you were doing for your other dck. Also be sure to include a comment on feelings. "_____________, I know that you are frustrated/angry/etc but biting hurts, NO BITING". Stay firm. Talk to the parents, let them know that if this behavior continues he will not continue in your care.

04-05-2011, 12:30 PM
BTW I have only ever had one biter... that was in my first year aswell. Hummmmmmmm....

04-05-2011, 12:35 PM
When we had the issues with the H1N1 virus parents were so concerned about how I was going to prevent contamination, etc. No I was not going to sanitize my entire daycare three times a day so no one would come in contact with someone else but I did send out a warning of sorts to parents that I was putting an end to toys in the mouth period! I had had my own version of the policy that applied to kids older than about 15 months but I started on the really little ones too. I know that mouthing is one of the ways they learn but there is plenty of time to mouth foods and sippy cups to get textures and their own toys all evening. Mine were off limits. I set aside a few baby toys which I did wash constantly and those were the only toys allowed in the mouth. It took awhile but they all learned. Since then I have been doing it with all kids as they come into care. I do not have to let the kids chew on everything in site. They need to learn that not everything goes in the mouth and that includes my toys, my sand, my playdough, my crayons, etc. When being able to bite was taken out of the play it actually brought down the aggression rather than escalated it and I was surprised by that. Friends aren't food - isn't that the moral we learn from watching Finding Nemo.

Amateur Owner
04-05-2011, 02:58 PM
It's kind of hard to terminate when it's your 'own child'! Yes, mine is the biter. He started around 14 months and when he would bite I would tell him 'no-biting' and put him in time out. It took about 2-3 weeks, but it stopped. He started again last week, 3 days in a row! I must say he has a molar coming out (first one). All the times he's bitten the other little dck is when I'm physically out of sight. eg. I went to the washroom, same floor and a few feet away from where they were playing - less than a minute! Another was when I was in the kitchen prepping lunch, couldn't see them over the counter and it happened! I also notice that he does it when something is taken away from him, or he gets frustrated with the other dck as the other one is bigger and stronger & mine is on the little side...that's no excuse, but I've found that those are the reasons he does it. So in the last few days, I've been keeping his teething ring ready for when I notice it going to happen and make sure I can always see him. If I need to go to the washroom I make him stand right outside!!! Seems to be working...thank you all for your advise. Hoping it'll stop soon!

Play and Learn
04-06-2011, 07:21 AM
Friends aren't food - isn't that the moral we learn from watching Finding Nemo.

Very good - I'm gonna use that one!!!! - Not that I have biters....

04-11-2011, 10:56 PM
I know that mouthing is one of the ways they learn but there is plenty of time to mouth foods and sippy cups to get textures and their own toys all evening. Mine were off limits.

I am glad to hear you say this, because it is something that I have been doing as well. I wasn't sure if it was reasonable, but I really think that you are right. I know that it's totally "normal" for kids around 1 to 1 1/2 to mouth anything they can, but I think it's totally possible to begin teaching that only food goes in our mouth. I have a little boy who I think has a bit of an oral fixation (it's as though he NEEDS to have something in his mouth, not just WANTS to). Other than that, the kids have learned pretty quickly and now I have to sanitize a lot fewer toys during the day!! :yes:

04-12-2011, 08:47 AM
Thanks for the support. We are definitely in the minority. It is amazing how many parents come for an interview with a child as old as 18 months and think nothing of the child chewing on whatever they find and then just dump it back in the bin. This will be the same family that down the road will be whining because their child is always sick and do I clean enough. I just took advantage of the H1N1 scare - bad I know but it worked.

04-12-2011, 10:27 AM
ha! love the saying "friends aren't food!" I think I need to steal that one.

04-12-2011, 07:38 PM
Wish I could help, my girls didn't bite, and I have only had 1 biter in daycare :( Oh boy and she liked to bite. She would bite a child every day and I was pulling my hair out. I tried almost every thing I could think of, Mommy was supportive but kept telling me it was a phase and would pass.

It got to the point where only 1 child would play with her, I talked with that child's mom daily about it and she told me they were best friends and didn't want me to separate them, so at least the other parents were supportive too. I didn't terminate because the family was leaving naturally, I know the biting continued between my care, home, and her new childcares (yup more than one) for almost 6 months.

When I had my biter, although I wasn't a newbie in daycare, I had just moved to infant care from exclusively school aged children for almost 4 years, so maybe I was rusty ;)

Amateur Owner
04-12-2011, 08:49 PM
My older boy used to bite in daycare - this was in a different country but all we got were the 'upset' faces and waging fingers...no help whatsoever to help us, he eventually stopped but I dreaded hearing about it at pick up time! It's not like we're teaching them to bite...my little one still attempts to bite and ONLY when something is grabbed from him, but I make sure I'm right there catching him just about to take a bite 'No biting please!' and he knows, but right now it's a constant reminder...Thankfull y the Mum is super understanding, but I still don't take it lightly!
There are parents (& caregivers) that are actively trying to help their kids, some kids go through it and some don't, like I said we're not 'teaching' them to bite...I know for me it is hard coz this is my own child, but hopefully my constant reminders and hovering will eventually get him to stop Attempting!

11-16-2011, 12:21 PM
Has your son stopped biting?
Is there any hope for mine? lol It's my son-22mo, as well that is the biter. He only bites on other child-1yo and seems to be when that child plays with/touches something my son doesn't want him to play with/touch. And its not even something he was playing with himself at the time. I feel horrible because I've only had this other boy for 6 weeks and I really like him and his mom. I don't want her to get pissed off and take him else where.

We also have tried everything to get him to stop. I am doing the shadowing, but he still managed to get a bite in today. Not sure what else to do. :(

11-16-2011, 12:46 PM
I have a litte boy who used to bite, but he is pretty good now (he's just over two). He's is the sweetest, happiest boy and I love having him in my daycare, but if he gets frustrated enough, he will still attempt to bite at times. When he was getting bad with it, I shadowed him and intervened with reminders every time I saw him getting frustrated with another child. Time-outs had zero effect as he didn't seem to get that it was a punishment for biting and anyway, I don't think he had the ability at 18 months to stop and think about the consequences as he lunged in for a bite out of frustration. Shadowing and intervening worked and I also really watch to make sure that he does not get frustrated as his language skills are not that good yet. If I intervene early and talk him through things, he calms right down. I hope you can get your biter under control!