How to get rid of the "blanky"

[apples and bananas]

I have a little guy, about 18 months old that has a blanky. He holds it constantly. IF he does happen to drop it during play and I move it, he panics walking around the playroom crying like he's lost something. I hid it on him this morning when he wasn't looking for an hour. He was fine for the first 20 minutes, then all he did was cry... like he lost the most important thing in the world. The problem with the blanky is that it drags on the floor. He's started to want it during meal time and fussing at the table if he doesn't get it, so lunch get's cut short because hes disruptive to the other kids. He takes it outside with him and it drags through the grass and the sand. Mom sends a clean one every day... she must have 20 of them!

So, how do I break him of it. How do we get it just down to nap times?

[fruitloop]

I would just stop letting him have it and only allow it during nap time. I'd deal with the crying and just let him cry. It's a habit and not a necessity so the habit just needs to be broken. His crying for it is just like anything else...not wanting to go to bed, not getting his own way, etc. If you keep giving into it, he just learns that if he keeps up the crying, you will give in to it eventually. If you never give into it, he will learn that his crying for it won't work and he'll move on. It might be a hellish week or so but it would be worth it in the end. I don't allow the kids anything "personal" until it's nap time...no soothers, blankets, stuffies...nothing.

[Crayola kiddies]

I don't allow anything like that to be carried around.... No stuffies, blankets, soothers.... Nothing .... It stays tucked away till naptime ..... I actually have it in my policy book that children may bring a comfort item for nap tine but it remains tuck away till such time .
It's a habit and I would ask mon to put it in a bag so it's hidden and he can have it at naptime but it's becoming a hazard cause other children are tripping over it not to mention dragging it around outside and then it comes inside to track dirt inside your house . Or just have one to keep at your house and tell mom not to bring it anymore .

[Bookworm]

I had a little girl just like your boy. She used to drag it every where and panic if I took it away when she dropped it. However, it was becoming a huge hazard to the other children as they were always tripping over it. So, one day I just took it away. As soon as she got here, I put it in her playpen and she didn't get it until nap time. It took her a few days, but she finally got the message. Good luck.

[playfelt]

I break things like this by limiting where it can be. In his case he may have it on the couch but no where else in the playroom or designate a corner - sort of out of the way kind of place and put a bin there for it. If he feels the need to have it he may go to his corner and have it but he may not have anything else with him as in toys. If he wants to play with the toys he needs to leave the blanket in the bin while he does and then go back to it later. It never goes outside or comes to the table for holding. It can be draped over the back of the chair or tied around his waist under the bib till he is broken of it.

When you do a game or song, bring child to join in and put blanket in the bin. Keep child moving for a few minutes and then let him escape to the security of his blanket corner. Ideally over time he will last longer and longer in group activities and get bored sitting and doing nothing while his friends have toys to play with.

Gradually substitute smaller and smaller pieces - ie a blanket ripped in half and then quartered - the small pieces can be tucked into a waistband or used as a bib so not a tripping hazard.

It is also up to the parents to realize the time has come to get rid of it during play and help out at home - especially with meals and outside play times.

[Lou]

I had a little guy who was a little younger wen he first started with me. He has this disgusting stinky blanket that he chews on (GAG), and would want to bring it everywhere! As he was transitioning here, I let him have his blankie for comfort, but after he settled in to the group it was go time! I would simply pack it into his back pack and take it out only at nap time. He went mental for the first few days, but I just tried to keep him super distracted with extra cuddles and it really only took about a week for him to realize he wasn't allowed to carry it around with him. Now as soon as he walks in the door he takes off his shoes and puts it directly in his bag, it's funny :) Good luck!

[playfelt]

... he wasn't allowed to carry it around with him. Now as soon as he walks in the door he takes off his shoes and puts it directly in his bag, it's funny :) Good luck!

And of course the parents don't twig in about what he is doing and ask how to do the same at home. I love it when I break kids of the soother and the parent comes to pick up and child doesn't have it and the first thing the parent does even without the child asking is rummage in the bag or reach into their pocket and produce a soother to plop in the child's mouth.

[Lou]

Exactly. As soon as Mom arrives to pick him up he races to the bag to get the dang thing, lol. Oh well, as long as he's not carrying it around here!

Another little one I have (3 yrs old) has that syndrome worse though, where she is very independent here, but as soon as Mom or Dad arrives she turns into a 12 month old again and her parents "don't understand why". LOL

[Momof4]

It depends how long he has been with you I suppose. 18 months is still young but I'd want to put a plan in place with the parents by the time he's 2. And the parents have to be doing what you are doing too.

If he's new ne needs the support system of his blankie, but if he's been with you for a while you can start to phase it out. One of my grandsons is completely addicted to his blankie so the first step we took was to make him put it in a place in the room where it was always visible to him and if he needed, he could go hug it, but he had to leave in in that place. He was allowed to have it for naptime only.

I hate to tell you this but he's 5 and he still needs it for a hug when he's really upset and to sleep, but he must keep it on his bed at home at all times now.

[apples and bananas]

He's 18 months now, I've had him for 6 months now. I put it away after nap this afternoon and boy did I have a cranky little man on my hands. LOL Crying doesn't bother me so I let him cry it out. However, mom came to pick him up and the first thing that happened.... the blanky came out. UGH! This is gonna take some work. LOL

Thanks for all your tips.

[Momof4]

I just had this problem with a soother and a Mom who was enabling her 2 1/2 year old boy. Why do the Moms work against us? Keep going apples & bananas and the little guy will figure out it's your way or no way.

[Crayola kiddies]

I have one that's over 3 that still has a soother actually 5. He cones in every morning with one in his mouth and the other four on his fingers like rings.... He put them in his bag and they stay there all day and when he gets picked up the first thing he does is reach in the bag and grab them out shove one in his mouth and smirk at me. I'd like to cut the ends off them all.

[FreshPrincess]

Your post could have been written by me...except the child in my care is a 2.5 girl. The second she loses that thing, she starts crying and panicking. Recently, I've taken it away and told her that her blankie was having a nap and that when she is ready to go nap too, her blankie will be there for her. She was pretty upset by it, but was fine when she woke up from her nap. I wonder how this week will go. lol. The thing is....she doesn't even need the thing! If her mom drops her off without it, she doesn't even care. I think it's time to tell mom to keep it at home. lol
Eighteen months is still young, but dragging a blanket around is a tripping hazard!

[FreshPrincess]

Crayola Kiddies, a little boy I care for always came here with a soother. When he started here, he was 18 months and he just turned 2. He needed it at first. By the time he turned 20 months old, I realized that all his soothers were chewed and ripped. I couldn't believe his parents would send him with those things and expect me to let him use them at nap time (or when needed). I threw 3 of them out and told them they were choking hazards. He was upset about not having his soother for his naps at first, but didn't care after a while. Now he doesn't even care. He doesn't ask for one...He doesn't need it. yet, they still think he does. I keep seeing him in pictures on fb with one in his mouth. I just want to rip it out and throw it in the garbage! lol

[Crayola kiddies]

Fresh .... Me too!!!! Same post verbatim ..... Child started here at 18 months and always had the thing cliped to his shirt within two months I had broken the habit of him sleeping with it and I told the parents hoping they would follow my lead but nooooo! He's three now sleeps in a big boy bed, brings his big boy napsac ( to carry his soothers in) mom thinks he's ready to give up his nap but has a soother and has just started potty training .... Why do parents focus on the wrong things ????? If his soothers break she buys new ones ...... I believe parents just want calm when they have their child .... When he is picked up he gets his soother out of his bag and pops it in his mouth and mom smiles and says " it will be a nice quiet ride home" seriously ???????

[apples and bananas]

I have to question why I bother sometimes. If mom's ok with a soother or a blanky and they're not hurting anyone here, then why is it suddenly my job to break the habit? Same with bottles. I have another one that still has a bottle for one meal. She gives me a sippy cup with milk and a bottle with milk every day. I poor the bottled milk into my own sippy cup and have broken him of the bottle. She still sends a bottle! Why?

Oh, and in regards to that "I got what I want" smirk as soon as mom shows up? I get it too.

[daycarewhisperer]

I don't allow blankets or lovies at all until they are over the age of two and only in their beds at naptime. I have a separate nursery for the under two crowd and don't allow blankets in that room at all. We use blanket sleepers (sacks) or footed pajamas over their clothes at nap for warmth.

I have found that attachment items are escalators and draw the kids away from what I want them to do which is "go play toys". Anything that interferes with them playing toys independently will not work here. I also don't allow any child to own anything that is available. I own everything so we don't have any "mines" or hoarding behaviors.

I would just cut him off of it completely. Put it up right when he arrives and give it back as he's getting ready to leave. You can see how unhappy he is about it. Release him from the fixation by just not making it available. This will de-esclate him at your house and make him love it even more at home which will buy much peace and quiet for mom at home.

I have kids here who are blankie and paci addicts and they have never had them in my home but carry them and suck them from the time they leave till they get back. They do fine with different rules for different houses. We don't have to copy what parents do at home. We are raising human babies and they are designed to be very adaptable.

[Momof4]

I allow the children to bring cuddles for naptime but they stay in their backpacks until naptime and go back there as soon as they wake up.

[playfelt]

I refuse to have a conversation with a child with a soother in their mouth so once they are in the 15 month range it has to go during our circletimes for sure and then gradually I just stop giving it to them.