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View Full Version : New Child Being Left Out



lilac
04-08-2011, 09:33 PM
I started with this new little girl, she was 3 in January, she's been with me for 3 weeks now.

The other kids in the group all get along like they've been friends forever. They are all between the ages of 4.5 and 7 and all in school (except for the baby 11ms) My new little girl C, is old enough to be frustrated when the baby is around (knocking something she is playing with, or grabbing onto something or her b/c she's just about to walk) but maybe not old enough to understand that she is a baby and these are the things babies do, they play differently. She really wants to play with the older kids, but the older kids of course play differently than her, and get frustrated with her and sometimes being mean to her. (for example today it was the boys had drawn this map of roads all over the driveway and were driving their dump trucks following the map. C wanted to join in and started drawing on their map and they got upset that they had ruined their map) and that's the way the past 3 weeks have been going.

I try to spend time playing with C as much as I can so she isnt just sitting watching the others play.

So how do I get the others to warm up to her, to not leave her out, or get upset with her? Seems the more i try to talk to them about it the worse it gets... will it just pass? I'd hate for her to be unhappy and feel left out here.

Momof4
04-17-2011, 12:16 AM
Oh wow, maybe introduce new games with new situations to stress that new is good? Children are highly adaptable and you have a great opportunity to teach the 'regulars' in your care about change.

I have 4 little ones here who are all 3 now and our little friend who just moved to Toronto who just turned 3 as well who was with us for over 2 1/2 years, and only one of the children misses her besides me of course. I had a new baby start but it surprises me that the children acepted him in and forgot about the little girl who was their friend for so long!

I still tear up when I think of our little sweetie who moved away and I think my other 3 year olds are completely hearless!

playfelt
04-17-2011, 07:42 AM
You are seeing just how resilient children are and how they simply accept reality. We fret and they play. Children live in the here and now. They don't always remember what we were studying a month before or what is about to happen. If she were to return they would initially treat her as a stranger and then remember. Developmentally the children are reacting as they should. As adults we see the world differently.