Hands Down pants!!!!!!!!!!?

[kidlove]

I have a 2.5 year old child in my care. She is adopted and came from a bit of a rough start, for the first few months of her life she was quite neglected, and may have some other delays due to her genetic background.She seems to have a about 6 mo. delay. She is now adopted into a very loving home with two great parents. However, she has a terrible habit of putting her hands down her diaper at nap time and during her sleeps at night. I have addressed this with her parents for many dif reasons, 1) its a dirty place to put your hands! 2) its a bad habit to have. just a little yucky!!!!! They have tried to pin her pj's shut at night, put her in a onsie. we have all talked with her, telling her it's "yucky" and "no,no" She is not extreamly vocal but IS very smart, she knows she is not supposed to do this and will hide under her blanket in order to have her hand down there, I havde checked on her during nap and if she heresme come in the room or as soon as she sees me she pulls her hand out really quick and gives me a grin, so I know she knows its not ok. Every time I lay her down for nap I look right ta her and clearly say, "your hands go up here" and gently place her hands up near her chest, then I say "not down your pants, thats a no no!" she nods as if she understands, and yet multiple times per nap I will check and she has her hands down there again. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Crayola kiddies]

It's quite normal and I think if you ignored it she would stop sooner but it's getting her attention and some kids just do things out of spite .... I have a 3 yr old boy that does it although he doesnt put his hands inside his diaper but he does fall asleep with both hands in between his legs

[Momof4]

kidlove, I'm afraid I would be like you and trying to get her out of the habit. It doesn't seem normal to me. If she needs soothing there are better things, like maybe singing? I'm not judging anybody else's opinion, just saying that I've never run into anything like that before.

[Play and Learn]

Yup, it's natural for some kids to do this. Like an above poster said, they're learning about themselves. I would just let it go, as she's not bugging anyone but herself at naptime. NOW....if she's doing it during the day, and it's visible, then I would be at her!

You'll usually see most kids 'playing' with themselves during bath time or when they're getting changed.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ya my suggestion is that you give her a private place to do it and let her be ~ this is a perfectly normal behavior that all human beings do at some point in their life ~ it is not dirty, it is not a necessarily a bad habit to have as long as you are not doing it 'in public' .... honestly sexuality is something we are innately born with and both male and females of all ages and stages 'masturbate' and those who do not do it when they are 'awake' most definitely will be doing it their sleep because it is a 'human need' ... do not take my word for it google it there are studies that show that ALL humans beings have orgasms even celebrate ones who do not engage in masturbation while awake ~ they will have dreams that bring them to arousal in that part of the brain responsible for it ;)

I have worked in the field for over 20 years and have seen children as young as 8 months 'masturbate' by rocking back and forth as their diaper 'feels good' to them as their eyes gloss over and they do it until they reach that relaxation stage ... and like all stages some children go through a 'short phase' of it and others longer!

I would also be careful sending the message to the child that it is a 'dirty' thing to do because well you are molding a child's future sexuality there and sending them the message that they are 'dirty' to be enjoying something like that which can due a lot of harm down the road :(

Like everything else we teach children we need to teach them that there is a 'time and a place' for this .... just like farting at the dinner table is rude so is touching yourself in public or explaining it is not safe to do when you hands are not clean and so forth.

[mimi]

I have a child whose belly button must be available for stroking when she naps. She will also play with it when she's upset or tired. I have a 4 yr old boy that just likes to hang onto his penis through the outside of his pants. He always looks like he is moments away from peeing himself. He does this ALL the time. Good point from Reggio about not calling the genital area dirty. When ever I change a poopy diaper I never express an attitude of yuck or stinky. I congratulate on a job well done as I don't want to give a negative impression about the genital area. Of course the kids always handwash after touching themselves in their privates, I just equate this to washing our hands after playtime or after lunch. With the older kids passing gas, I just tell them to go into the washroom when they feel the urge. Again, it's not bad though it is a private act.

[crafty]

I have to agree with Reggio and all the others with this. Especialy about sending the message to the child that it is a 'dirty' thing but also to ensure we are teaching them it is a private act that belongs to her.

[kidlove]

Thanks Momof4 I do appreciate your outlook. I too have never had this sit. before and I have had almost 60 kids come through my door. I do however think it really is just a "comfort", none the less....a little dirty. Have to remember she shares a crib with other children and her little hand is stinky!!!!!! eeeewwwweee! I have to take her out and wash her up. not cool! I just feel it is a bad habit to allow her to continue.

[kidlove]

Reggio: I really think this is not a "sensation" thing, she is not old enough to have any sexual sensation, I do believe she is placing her hand in a warm and comfy spot just as a pocket or in their warm hair on their head. I just feel that it is a little dirty especially concidering she wears a diaper, her hand could come out with urine or fecies on it. I do explain to her that her butt is dirty and it is icky to put her hand down there. I dont ridicule her. I do think that children may "explore" as they develope in life and that is for us as parents to handle with our own children. Not sure if I would allow them to have "their way" in a private place and suggest washing up after though. But as I said, that would really be up to a parent to handle with their own child as they choose. When I see a child pick their nose I also inform them they are not to do that at my house, they are welcome to go to the bathroom and blow their nose with tissue and then wash hands. I inform them if they are allowed to at home, that is fine. but not at my house.

[Play and Learn]

Reggio: I really think this is not a "sensation" thing, she is not old enough to have any sexual sensation, I do believe she is placing her hand in a warm and comfy spot just as a pocket or in their warm hair on their head.

But they do. They're learning about themselves, and it 'feels' good.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ok this is still bugging me about how something we say can have such a HUGE impact on the course of a child's life .... so I am coming back to add something more personal to help others understand why I am so passionate about the great power that we wield with children and how we need to make sure we are CAREFUL in what we say to them and what messages we send and that we are not passing on our own 'baggage' about sexuality to them!

There is much of my childhood I have 'blacked out' because it was not good but there are some thing that are just stuck there as nightmares no matter how hard I tried to block them out .... like when I was about 5 I remember being at the babysitters after school and her son who was about 7 was there and remember we were playing in the basement 'unsupervised' and well we were at that curious age and Michael had started a conversation with a sort of 'dare' to it about 'if you show me yours I will show you mine' ... and I remember his mother coming downstairs just as we were each pulling down our pants and just LOOSING it on us .... she spanked us both hard on our little naked bums for being dirty naughty disgusting children (she said a whole bunch of other stuff in her shock and anger but those were the words that I remembered) and she went on about that is not something good children do, we had to stand in the corner for what felt like ever afterward while the other kids in the house walked by and she would tell them 'they are dirty naughty children' and than she told my dad when he came to pick me up that I was a dirty little girl and he better 'fix me' because if I was going to do stuff like that I would not be able to come to her house after school and so he took me home and 'fixed me' by spanking me with a belt until my bum bled for having shown my private area to a boy and being a dirty girl ... I can still almost 40 years later remember the SHAME that I felt in those moment about being 'curious' about body parts and how they were 'different' ~ a very NATURAL thing for children to notice and do just like they compare who has blue eyes or brown and so forth!

The shame ran so deep that I would not even look at myself 'naked' after that let alone let anyone see me naked I wore underwear into the bathtub 'just in case' someone came into the bathroom ... and 6 years later when I was molested by an extended family member all those messages came back and I felt it was my 'dirty naughty fault' again that there must be something 'wrong' with me and I did not tell a soul at the time .... when I was raped and sodomized by a friends father at 14 when I was over for a sleepover ~ I did not tell a soul because it built on all those other messages starting with that ONE message ~ I was a dirty naughty girl and deserved these things to happen to me and instead of telling someone what had happened I first turned to drugs and alcohol to try to 'forget it' and than when that did not work run away from home so I did not have to deal with my dad finding out and blaming me again or having to risk having it happen to me again if I had to stay at that friends house again!

All of these things starting with that ONE curious moment shaped my sexuality as I grew into an adult, it planted seeds of thinking of sex as something dirty and horrible and that 'good people' do not do ... and from the age of 18 ~ 25 I spent years in therapy learning to come to terms with all those messages and how deeply they affected me ~ to the point that when at 18 I found out I had stage 4 endometiousis already I felt I deserved it that this was my 'punishment' because I was a 'dirty girl' and even my hostile womb knew it ~ no child would ever grow in there because of the 'naughty things' I had done to it! It took me years of extensive therapy to come to terms with my sexuality in a healthy manner and learn to trust men again and learn how to have a healthy sexual relationship with anyone including learning to 'love' myself!

Now I have no way of knowing if the first incident had been 'handled better' by the adults in my life if it would have changed the course of my life ... cause who knows maybe if I was more confident and informed about 'sexuality' I would not have been easy prey for my family member who molested me because I would have been empowered to say 'no that is not a healthy touch' or maybe I would not have been prey to a drunk man at a sleepover .... but I do know that the way it was handled and the message it sent certainly did not HELP to provide me the skills and resources I needed to cope with my sexuality and natural curiosity moving forward in life that's for sure!

What I also know is that as 'uncomfortable' as it makes me feel to see or hear a child doing this ... specially with my own childhood baggage about 'dirtiness' still engrained in me .... I make sure that the only message I send them is 'if you want/need to do that you have to make sure your hands are washed and that you choose a private place to do it' ... and trust me I have a child who went through chronic masturbation starting at around 2 in my program who went through a phase where whenever she got 'bored' this was her go to thing to do no matter WHERE she was and her parents I had to work hard to try to help her understand there was a 'time and a place' for this sort of thing ... she still does it during 'quiet time' to help herself fall asleep.

[kidlove]

I guess I was more interested in things I can do or have her do to keep from putting her hands into her pants, i.e. was thinking of some sort of pocketed thing that will keep her hands warm and give her that same "safe" feeling that I think she is getting from having her hand where she puts it now. or another idea anyone may have used or thought up to deal with a situation like this.

[Inspired by Reggio]

For those who would like 'medical research' around how NORMAL this is


http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/masturb.htm

How do children learn about masturbation?
No one has to teach a child to explore his or her genitals. It provides a feeling of pleasure, that once discovered, the child will most likely repeat. There have even been studies of prenatal ultrasounds revealing male fetuses doing it.

Most often, however, boys find their penises accidentally, possibly during a diaper change around six to seven months of age and become curious (just like their fascination with other parts of their bodies, such as fingers, toes and ears). Some child psychologists think that boys who have seen a naked girl may be fearful that they could lose their penis and end up looking like the girl. However, no one can be sure of what these toddlers are thinking.

Girls often don’t discover their vulva (female external genitalia) until about ten to eleven months of age. They may even insert objects into their vaginas as a matter of curiosity—much like the beans and small toys children of this age like to put into their noses and ears.

Genital play in both sexes can also take the form of rubbing with hands or rubbing against other objects such as a pillow, stuffed animal or the bed. Often the child will be found staring, flushed, with an absent look on their faces, breathing fast or irregularly while masturbating. The behavior generally increases with boredom, sleepiness or stress in the child’s life. It is important to remember that children do not generally associate this activity with sexuality or adult relationships until much later in childhood, more toward puberty. This is reassuring to some parents who are alarmed by their child’s behavior. Genital play is often used simply as a form of self-comfort.

You can google and find LOTS of resources on how to promote healthy sexuality with your own children as well as how to handle it in an 'education' setting when you are not the primary caregiver to the child .... like anything in our field it is our job to educate ourselves on normal child development and make sure we are engaged in best practice with the children we are caring for .... everything we need to know is available with a little reading and life long learning!

[kidlove]

Play and learn: i do understand that some children will explore these areas due to a sensation of such nature, but I DO think she just has a comfy place to put her hand, it it ussually placed in the front of her diaper not to her "private" area.........this is getting a little misconstrued, my concern is: how to give her something else to do rather than place her hand on her "lower abdomine" IN HER DIAPER, where it is dirty.

[jec]

At that age there is nothing sexual about it- however like play and learn said it feels good to them and they are exploring their own body.
I can understand why you wouldn't want her hand down her diaper for reasons of her getting them dirty from either urine or a bowel movement and I would discuss with the parents a way that you can handle it. Explaining that although it's normal for them to explore their bodies, with a diaper on and possibly putting her hand in pee or poo- it has to be addressed.
Good luck! I think the only thing you can do is be consistant in what ever you decide to do.

[daycarewhisperer]

I have to disagree that this is normal. I've been caring for kids for 32 years and I've never seen it. My suggestion is to stop talking about it and start blocking it. Put her in a pair of backwards footed pajamas every day all day long until she learns to cope without doing it. If she wears a size three pajamas then buy her a pair of size four. Put them on her backwards where the zipper is up the back. Just rotate the feet forward and zip them up. The one size up will give you the extra material you need to rotate the feet forward. She needs TIME where every day she can get thru the day without comforting herself THAT way. My rule of thumb is that if it bugs me it's not okay. I trust my gut and I don't like ANY kind of fixation so I don't do fixation behavior. I don't like it so I block it. I don't really put any energy into whether it's normal or not. I go by how it makes ME feel. If it tweaks my sensibilities then I know to stop it. Trust your gut.

[kidlove]

Reggio: so sorry those things had to happen to you. Just typing the words can't relay to you my sincerest and deapest sorrow for you as a child and young adult to dp through those things. No human should have to experience any of those things and I am so sorry for your pain. I wish I had never posted this question, it really was a very basic question on some things I could show her to do rather than to put her hand in her diaper. I by no means treat her "with severe negative responses" I do however respond to seeing her hand in her diaper as a icky place to put her hands. I also dont feel it is my job to teach ANY child about the "birds and the bees" if I EVER have a situation which needs adult addressing I talk to the parent in private and leave it at that. ( I have had to inform the children before, that what they do at home may not be okay to do at my house, and that falls under the dont do at my house list) I have had to talk to a group of youngsters who all decided to kiss (on cheeks) in the play house, I had a little one putting her socks down her undies durring nap time, I have had a 7 yr old hide behind my couch with her hand in her undies, I have had another little girl inform the rest of the kids she was molested by her brother, I also had a 6 yr old tell another child that she had sex with her boyfriend. :eek: These are all things that I have taken in stride and taken a deep breath.......and given to the parents. I did make the playhouse off limits after the kissing, I did ask the 7 year old to please wash her hands, and save it for home. I did call child protective services with the molested girl (after informing the parents) I did talk to the young girl (with the socks) mother re: her new place to hide her socks. :) I would NEVER treat a child like they were a terrible person, or ridicule them to "personal disgust". I am a very pro-active parent with my own children, we have the safe touch talks and explain to them if they ever feel uncomfortable with any other person re: touch or talk, they can do whatever is nec. to help themselves get out of that sit. this is why sleepovers are VERY few and far between and ONLY with people we know well and trust and even then......we still watch and ask. We are the kind of parents who trust NO ONE. the good Lord gave us one child to protect and save from harm and all it takes is 1 second to ruine a child. I feel so deeply for you reggio, and hope you will continue to heal. God does nothing by accident, you are beautiful to him, scarred or unscarred barren or with child. You clearly do a great job with the children you care for and am sure you are a blessing to all of them. Not to mention I am a firm believer in learning from your experiences, perhaps you will save a child from the very same thing that happened to you....if you havent already. God bless you Reggio you have strength most people may never know. :)

[kidlove]

daycarewhisperer: thankyou so much for your post reply, that is the exact response I was looking for and a great idea to boot. Although I do understand what the others are saying re: exploring your body is a natural experience all people try at one point or another, my view is right there with you. there is something un-nerving about knowing a child is doing something I am not comfortable with in my home behind a closed door. If the parent lets it happen at home thats fine but I have set standards and feel its only right to stick to how it makes me feel. (not to mention the parent agrees with me on this one and would like very much to work together to give this child a better choice of comfort) she does wear the zip up sleeper and sometimes the parents will pin it at the top so she cant unzip, if they dont she unzips and goes for it. The mother and i both agree (as you said) that if we can break the habit, (block her) for a period of time the habit will break. I will def try the zipper backwards, great idea. not to mention the weather IS getting cooler, def wont hurt to have that warm pj on. thanks so much. :)

[kidlove]

Thanks jec for your response, I will try daycarewhisperer's idea of the zipper footie pj's on backwards. thats a good idea.

[jec]

Thanks jec for your response, I will try daycarewhisperer's idea of the zipper footie pj's on backwards. thats a good idea.

We can all go back and forth on what is normal or not. I would still discuss with the parents if you feel it's something that is a concern. Good luck :thumbsup:

[sunnydays]

Reggio...thank you for having the courage to post such personal experiences...I am so sorry that you had to endure such terrible things as a child. I believe you are right and I thank you for reminding us all that we write on the walls of who these kids are every day....everything we say and do has an effect of some kind and we should all stop and think about this every day and try to do our best to make sure we are having a postive effect. I also have a child in my daycare who likes to put his hands or blanket under him when he sleeps and who also rubs himself against things at times and although it does make me feel uncomfortable, I have never said anything to him about it as I figure it isn't my place and he is just experimenting. I have grappled with it though as I never wanted his parents to think he learned it somehow from daycare! I think that was my main concern! However, i certainly wouldn't want to shame a child for soing what feels good to them...I do believe they do it for this reason and they do not think of it in the same way as adults do at all...to them it is the same as any other thing that gives pleasure or feels good...children don't have the inhibitions adults have.

[daycarewhisperer]

Thanks jec for your response, I will try daycarewhisperer's idea of the zipper footie pj's on backwards. thats a good idea.

:) Just remember..... if Mama aint happy then nobody is happy. Make Mama happy first. If Mama no likey then it's a no go. Your house your rules. We don't have to serve EVERY single aspect of childhood when they are under our roof. Even if it IS normal then this normal can be done somewhere else. You don't have to have any other opinion then you don't like it so it's a no. No fuss no muss. Just a no will do.

The jammies will need to be fitted pretty well so that's there isn't a lot of give at the shoulders. She may try to pull her arm through the arm hole and put it downwards if they are big on her. You should't have any problems tho cuz the current available footed jammies pretty much run slim (narrow from armpit to armpit....... around eleven inches for size fours) The new jammies are flame and fire retardant and are made to fit snuggly.

If you don't get this stopped you are most likely gonna have a humper. If she gets too much "consulation" with rubbing with her hands she will most likely move to rubbing herself on furniture. That's what's coming so deal with it now while she's young enough to learn that it's okay not to soothe herself THAT way.

[Inspired by Reggio]

....If you don't get this stopped you are most likely gonna have a humper. If she gets too much "consulation" with rubbing with her hands she will most likely move to rubbing herself on furniture. That's what's coming so deal with it now while she's young enough to learn that it's okay not to soothe herself THAT way.

Ironic for someone who has 'never seen this in 32 years' and a claim it is not normal childhood behavior despite glaring medical research in the early years field to the contrary and on accredited sites such as research hospitals .... now all of a sudden you are flipping to have a good enough grasp of the progression masturbation might take and the need to nip it in the bud before it becomes a 'problem' like humping furniture .... so which is it this is something you have never seen and it is not normal or this is documented enough in childhood to have 'progressions' :rolleye:

And while I agree that it is your home and your rules and that there is a time and a place for it ... so if you want to send the message to the child that is something you do AT HOME fine and dandy ~ just saying make sure the PARENT is a part of the solution and that you are CAREFUL in how you are portraying the message to the child as to why they should not do it 'at your home' to keep their sexuality in tact cause while it might not be 'your cup of tea' it is their innate human nature to 'enjoy' touching that area of the body and we have to also respect that!

[daycarewhisperer]

Ironic for someone who has 'never seen this in 32 years' and a claim it is not normal childhood behavior despite glaring medical research in the early years field to the contrary and on accredited sites such as research hospitals .... now all of a sudden you are flipping to have a good enough grasp of the progression masturbation might take and the need to nip it in the bud before it becomes a 'problem' like humping furniture .... so which is it this is something you have never seen and it is not normal or this is documented enough in childhood to have 'progressions' :rolleye:

And while I agree that it is your home and your rules and that there is a time and a place for it ... so if you want to send the message to the child that is something you do AT HOME fine and dandy ~ just saying make sure the PARENT is a part of the solution and that you are CAREFUL in how you are portraying the message to the child as to why they should not do it 'at your home' to keep their sexuality in tact cause while it might not be 'your cup of tea' it is their innate human nature to 'enjoy' touching that area of the body and we have to also respect that!

Okay so I'll take your word for it that it's normal. It doesn't matter either way. If the provider doesn't like it they don't have to host it. Plain and simple. We don't have to serve every childhood normal behavior. It's our house and our rules and if we don't want a kid with their hands down their pants then we can just say no to THAT behavior. No need to talk to the kid or explain that it can or can't be done here or there. Just block it and be done with it. Simple clothing fix.

I don't host fixations I don't like. I definitely do not want my three year old or four year old kids going home and telling thier parents that another kid is putting hand down or rubbing their private area during nap. Bad for public relations regardless of whether or not it is normal or not. This is a GROUP of kids and the child is in PUBLIC when they are in that group.

No need to debate whether or not it's normal. I personally don't think it is but it doesn't matter either way. Only question is "do you offer that service" or do you not? I don't offer that service here. I want the kids to keep their hands out of their pants. That's the service I feel comfortable offering.

[jec]

Okay so I'll take your word for it that it's normal.

We need to respect each other here and Reggio feels strongly about it for personal reasons where she was strong enough to post. You don't have to agree but reading the posts back and forth, I think you can get your point across without being condescending

[kidlove]

Thanks daycarewhisperer. I do believe exactly what you said "if it doesnt stop I could have a "humper"". I dont think ANY childs exploration is unnatural, a child has an "inoccence" because they know no better! It is up to us, the smarter of the two to show them...some things they choose to do may not be the right choice. I do believe you can re-direct a child out of a "bad habit" like touching themself in a positive and un hurting way. I believe firmly that if you allow a small action to take place you are opening a giant window for the BIG stuff that will evolve from it. It is human nature to start little and soon "little" is not enough. Bigger,bigger and bigger. I dont think this child has any other idea but "comfort" right now, but in 6 months sshe may begin exploring farther, another six monthes farther and before you know it she very well could be experimenting way too far beyond her understanding. We cant allow children to go along doing as they please all the time, that is similar to saying: "Johnny is just exploring" when he climbs to the top of the balcony and jumps (we are protecting him and teaching him, by stopping him) It is the same reason I took the playhouse away when I found out the kids were "smooching" on the cheek in there....first comes the cheeck smooch, then....? and after that....? I will do whatever it takes to protect these children from "growing up too fast" or getting involved in too much they cant understand. Thats just how I feel. I go with my instincts when raising these kids and my own and there are times I get a "red flag"...I wouldn't be doing my job if I ignore it!

[kidlove]

we apparently have two dif points of view, yay!!!! thats the glory of human nature, God gave us the ability to choose how we feel. I dont think this needs to become a "real big" issue. Reggio obviously has a strong opinion regarding the normalcy of these acts, as others have the opinion that perhaps exploring is "normal" but we do have the "freedom" to choose what happens in our own daycares. If reggio or others choose to allow a child to go into a room and "masturbate" for personal pleasure and feel that act is natural, that is THEIR STANCE and "freedom" to choose how to feel about that subject. Others dont feel it is the right choice for their in home daycare for what ever reasons, thats okay too. We al have the freedom to choose, thats why we run our own business from our own home, so we can choose what the children do and how the children grow.

[Crayola kiddies]

Well it is a "natural act" and everybody has done it at some point in their life and if you say you haven't ... Well.... Your not telling the truth..... Now while I wouldn't allow a child to sit on my couch or lay in the middle of my play room and pleasure themselves but what they do in the playpen by themselves while going to sleep is up to them. Now I believe soothers and thumb sucking are vile habits but I have one child that sucks her thumb and plays with her hair while going to sleep .... Should I tie her hands behind her back?

[daycarewhisperer]

We need to respect each other here and Reggio feels strongly about it for personal reasons where she was strong enough to post. You don't have to agree but reading the posts back and forth, I think you can get your point across without being condescending

Oh I didn't mean that in a disrepectful tone. I can take her word for it that it's normal. I believe she believes that and that the science she brings forth fits in with her belief.

When discussing this particular issue, it doesn't matter to me whether it is normal or not. I see a ton of normal behavior in children that I don't like. I see normal behavior in adults I don't like too. So at my house I decide what normal I will host and what normal I won't host. I decide whether I provide the service to host every aspect of normal within the child and adult population I serve. My roof my rules.

[kidlove]

okay crayola kiddies, that is a silly comparison, does the child have a butt on her head? no dont tie her hand behind her back if she touches her hair. I think I am again done with this post, I started the post for a simple "idea" to help me cope with an "issue" that I chose not to have take place in MY daycare. I did not intend for it to open a debate on what is or isnt proper behavior, I think ONCE AGAIN something has been "twisted" to create some kind of "frustration" here...that was not my intent for the post, just needed simple advice from those who might feel the same way I do regarding a small childs "bad" habit. (IMO only) it is silly to see where this has headed. thankyou for the good advice, and the backup from those who feel the same way I do, and good luck to those who dont. thank you thank you thank you!!!! :) :) :) :)

[daycarewhisperer]

And while I agree that it is your home and your rules and that there is a time and a place for it ... so if you want to send the message to the child that is something you do AT HOME fine and dandy ~ just saying make sure the PARENT is a part of the solution and that you are CAREFUL in how you are portraying the message to the child as to why they should not do it 'at your home' to keep their sexuality in tact cause while it might not be 'your cup of tea' it is their innate human nature to 'enjoy' touching that area of the body and we have to also respect that!

I would NOT discuss this with the child and say this is something you do at home. I didn't suggest that. I wouldn't discuss it at all. I would just block and go about my merry way. I don't think I would talk to the parent about it much either unless they brought it up. I would just let them know that I put a blanket sleeper or footed jammies or whatever block that fits for any child that puts their hands in their diaper area at nap. Doesn't matter to me why the kid is doing it.

I adore simple. I live for simple. I would find a simple solution and go about the business of taking care of the group.

[Yarnlover]

I am grateful for the points Reggio has made about how our actions, everything we say and do, with our daycare kids can have impacts that we can't even imagine. While this is something we are all aware of I am sure, in the context of this conversation the point has really given me pause to think.
I have been known to lightheartedly say "oh stinky" at diaper change time with my own daughter. She thinks it's funny and will say it too. I have heard the opinion that we shouldn't say that so the kids don't feel bad about pooping, or feel it is yucky or gross. I always looked at it from the point of view that I don't want to raise a kid who thinks her "s@*t don't stink" so to speak, and thought the whole idea was sort of silly.
While I in no way make fun of, or shame my daughter, Reggio's points about sending the message about privates being "dirty" from a sexuality point of view was something I hadn't even considered. I really want to thank her for sharing her story.