adelaide
09-06-2012, 09:00 PM
Hi all,
Warning: this is going to be a loooooong post...sorry.
I've just started my daycare - literally two days in and already I'm having issues. Tuesday and Wednesday I had a 3 year old part timer in and she's great, the problem is the parents. It took a long time for the mom to make up her mind about putting her daughter in care here, mostly just procrastination I think but I did finally have an interview with her and her daughter 2 weeks before she was going to start. It went great I thought - I answered her questions easily and I went over the policy highlights with her and I played with her daughter. I sent her home with my policy and other forms to be filled out by her first day of care. We set up another visit the next week just to make sure her daughter was comfortable here. At that visit, we chatted and I asked if she had any questions about the policy and she told me she hadn't had a chance to read it yet. That should have been my first clue. That visit was earlier in the week and then it was the long weekend. My husband and I were out on a day trip when she texts me balking first at the part of my policy that states that I will be closed for stat holidays but that payment is required because you're paying for a spot, not days attended. She then was confused about a sentence that said that when I transfer care over to a responsible adult (herself or whoever else has permission to pick up the child) I will make sure they understand that the girl is now in their care, not mine (she thought I was just going to hand her child over to some random). By this time, I'm walking around a huge, busy fair, stopping every few minutes to text her back and my husband is getting frustrated (justifiably) so when she texts asking what I consider to be an emergency and says that they are paying me to watch their daughter, not some random person they don't know. (talking about the part of my policy that covers what happens if I suddenly have to leave and close) I'm a little offended at this point because (I know it's hard to read tone through a text but) she seemed to be snarky and not really giving me the benefit of the doubt that I had good reasons or explanations for the things I have in my policy. When I received that text, I started texting her back, explaining myself when my husband suggested I ask if I can call her the next day to answer her questions. He brought up a good point that she seemed to be reading the policy and asking questions as she went which might mean I would be texting back and forth all day. I thought it was a good idea so that's what I did - she texted me back: "That's the last question I had - just text me when you have a chance"
So I left it for the day and tried not to let it bother me. I texted her the next morning with my explanation (a big long text explaining it as clearly as I could) and asked if that made sense and answered her question. I didn't hear from her all day until late at night when she texted to say that she was at a friends, her phone was about to die and could she text me in the morning. I thought, "you have enough battery to text me all that but not to say yes or no to whether I answered your question?" but I texted back: that's fine. The next day is the holiday Monday and by 2pm I haven't heard from her. At this point I'm wondering if she's even going to bring her daughter the next day :unsure: So I text her again to follow up and she texts back regarding my explanation: "it makes more sense like that...you should change the policy so it sounds better" and lets me know what time her boyfriend is dropping off her daughter. I roll my eyes because I'm pretty sure I made it about as clear as I can and I say: "great! don't forget to bring all the signed forms, the cheque for this week, and a family picture if you have one to spare :)"
Here's the excerpt from my policy about emergencies:
"In case of an emergency situation that requires my immediate attention, I will attempt to call in one of my substitute child care providers. If available, one of these substitutes will come to the center to stay with the children until you or the emergency contact for your child are able to pick up your child. I will leave instructions with the substitute that will include the names and ages of children present, arrival and departure information for each child including the names of people authorized to pick up the child, the location of the childrens' files including emergency contact information, consent for emergency medical treatment, any special health care needs and the schedule of the child care. I encourage you to have alternative care prepared in the rare case of an emergency. Tuition fees will be discounted or waived when I am closed because of an emergency." (my substitutes will have their police checks, although I guess I forgot to mention that in my policy - so sue me - actually, please don't!)
I don't hear anything else and the dad drops her off the next morning. He gives me all the forms, half filled in but no signed policy. When I mention it, he says he didn't realize they had to sign the policy and that he did his best with the forms but he didn't know everything that was supposed to be on them. So I ask him to bring it the next day (wed) and to have mom complete the forms that night and bring them back as well. He fills out a cheque for me so that was good and I remind him that since the next day(wed) is her last enrolled day for the week, the cheque for next week is due then. I have a good day with the girl. He picks her up and takes home the forms again. When he drops her off the next day, he explains that when he got home last night, he didn't get a chance to see the mom so the forms are still not filled out, still no policy and because the cheques are in mom's name, he didn't have a chance to fill one of those out either. I'm a little frustrated but I also understand that the mom is going back to school and the dad is looking for a job so things might be a little hectic so I try to cut them some slack. Mom picks her up at the end of the day and I mention the half filled out forms, the missing policy, and the missing cheque (after talking about the good day we had, etc) she didn't say much about any of it. I asked her to bring everything on Monday. What she DID talk about was how, (even though it's in my policy that I will provide sunscreen and have written permission, including the brand and ingredient strength, from parents to use it on their child) she wants me to use the sunscreen she brought instead. It took me off guard and I didn't really know what to say so I ended up not saying anything. How I really feel is that a)I don't like that she's just deciding something other than what's in my policy and b) it's fine now when I only have her child but the reason I decided to provide the sunscreen was so that I could slather the same stuff on everyone instead of trying to keep track of who's sunscreen is who's. The other thing that kind of frustrated me was her mom showing me a toothbrush in her bag and saying that it's for me to brush her daughter's teeth with after meals. I provide breakfast, morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack. I (almost incredulously) asked her: "after EVERY meal?" "yes" "like after breakfast, snack, lunch and snack?" "no, just breakfast and lunch would be fine" "Allllright" It's not the biggest deal I guess but I'm already in the bathroom, helping the daughter with her clothing whenever she has to go, helping her with the tap to wash her hands 10+ times a day and now I need to be in there 2 more times to brush her teeth? How much time out of my day and schedule do I need to take to spend in the bathroom with this one child?!? And maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed about it if their forms had been filled out and the policy and next week's cheque were in my hands and she hadn't insisted on HER particular sunscreen...she didn't even look at what sunscreen I had - dad signed the permission form for sunscreen.
I'm just wondering if this is a rough start or if they are red flags and what your thoughts are on how I should handle all this. On Monday, if/when they bring the cheque, it's technically 4 days late according to my policy. Not sure whether I should insist on that or give them a break. I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on any or all of this. Sorry it's a novel - maybe I've missed my calling.
Additional (not really important) info (as if I haven't said enough yet): 3 year old is coming 4 days a week now (Mon-Thurs) and my full timer is starting in the middle of next week (7 month old boy who is very easy going and who's mom is awesome and has already returned all the forms and thought my policy was very standard and is bringing the cheque for his first week at her last visit with him at the beginning of the week. so I'm really looking forward to them :) has nothing to do really with this story but I just thought I'd share that I have another child coming that I'm really excited for and who's mom has been an excellent first experience for me (she enrolled first, this other mom just started care first)
Warning: this is going to be a loooooong post...sorry.
I've just started my daycare - literally two days in and already I'm having issues. Tuesday and Wednesday I had a 3 year old part timer in and she's great, the problem is the parents. It took a long time for the mom to make up her mind about putting her daughter in care here, mostly just procrastination I think but I did finally have an interview with her and her daughter 2 weeks before she was going to start. It went great I thought - I answered her questions easily and I went over the policy highlights with her and I played with her daughter. I sent her home with my policy and other forms to be filled out by her first day of care. We set up another visit the next week just to make sure her daughter was comfortable here. At that visit, we chatted and I asked if she had any questions about the policy and she told me she hadn't had a chance to read it yet. That should have been my first clue. That visit was earlier in the week and then it was the long weekend. My husband and I were out on a day trip when she texts me balking first at the part of my policy that states that I will be closed for stat holidays but that payment is required because you're paying for a spot, not days attended. She then was confused about a sentence that said that when I transfer care over to a responsible adult (herself or whoever else has permission to pick up the child) I will make sure they understand that the girl is now in their care, not mine (she thought I was just going to hand her child over to some random). By this time, I'm walking around a huge, busy fair, stopping every few minutes to text her back and my husband is getting frustrated (justifiably) so when she texts asking what I consider to be an emergency and says that they are paying me to watch their daughter, not some random person they don't know. (talking about the part of my policy that covers what happens if I suddenly have to leave and close) I'm a little offended at this point because (I know it's hard to read tone through a text but) she seemed to be snarky and not really giving me the benefit of the doubt that I had good reasons or explanations for the things I have in my policy. When I received that text, I started texting her back, explaining myself when my husband suggested I ask if I can call her the next day to answer her questions. He brought up a good point that she seemed to be reading the policy and asking questions as she went which might mean I would be texting back and forth all day. I thought it was a good idea so that's what I did - she texted me back: "That's the last question I had - just text me when you have a chance"
So I left it for the day and tried not to let it bother me. I texted her the next morning with my explanation (a big long text explaining it as clearly as I could) and asked if that made sense and answered her question. I didn't hear from her all day until late at night when she texted to say that she was at a friends, her phone was about to die and could she text me in the morning. I thought, "you have enough battery to text me all that but not to say yes or no to whether I answered your question?" but I texted back: that's fine. The next day is the holiday Monday and by 2pm I haven't heard from her. At this point I'm wondering if she's even going to bring her daughter the next day :unsure: So I text her again to follow up and she texts back regarding my explanation: "it makes more sense like that...you should change the policy so it sounds better" and lets me know what time her boyfriend is dropping off her daughter. I roll my eyes because I'm pretty sure I made it about as clear as I can and I say: "great! don't forget to bring all the signed forms, the cheque for this week, and a family picture if you have one to spare :)"
Here's the excerpt from my policy about emergencies:
"In case of an emergency situation that requires my immediate attention, I will attempt to call in one of my substitute child care providers. If available, one of these substitutes will come to the center to stay with the children until you or the emergency contact for your child are able to pick up your child. I will leave instructions with the substitute that will include the names and ages of children present, arrival and departure information for each child including the names of people authorized to pick up the child, the location of the childrens' files including emergency contact information, consent for emergency medical treatment, any special health care needs and the schedule of the child care. I encourage you to have alternative care prepared in the rare case of an emergency. Tuition fees will be discounted or waived when I am closed because of an emergency." (my substitutes will have their police checks, although I guess I forgot to mention that in my policy - so sue me - actually, please don't!)
I don't hear anything else and the dad drops her off the next morning. He gives me all the forms, half filled in but no signed policy. When I mention it, he says he didn't realize they had to sign the policy and that he did his best with the forms but he didn't know everything that was supposed to be on them. So I ask him to bring it the next day (wed) and to have mom complete the forms that night and bring them back as well. He fills out a cheque for me so that was good and I remind him that since the next day(wed) is her last enrolled day for the week, the cheque for next week is due then. I have a good day with the girl. He picks her up and takes home the forms again. When he drops her off the next day, he explains that when he got home last night, he didn't get a chance to see the mom so the forms are still not filled out, still no policy and because the cheques are in mom's name, he didn't have a chance to fill one of those out either. I'm a little frustrated but I also understand that the mom is going back to school and the dad is looking for a job so things might be a little hectic so I try to cut them some slack. Mom picks her up at the end of the day and I mention the half filled out forms, the missing policy, and the missing cheque (after talking about the good day we had, etc) she didn't say much about any of it. I asked her to bring everything on Monday. What she DID talk about was how, (even though it's in my policy that I will provide sunscreen and have written permission, including the brand and ingredient strength, from parents to use it on their child) she wants me to use the sunscreen she brought instead. It took me off guard and I didn't really know what to say so I ended up not saying anything. How I really feel is that a)I don't like that she's just deciding something other than what's in my policy and b) it's fine now when I only have her child but the reason I decided to provide the sunscreen was so that I could slather the same stuff on everyone instead of trying to keep track of who's sunscreen is who's. The other thing that kind of frustrated me was her mom showing me a toothbrush in her bag and saying that it's for me to brush her daughter's teeth with after meals. I provide breakfast, morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack. I (almost incredulously) asked her: "after EVERY meal?" "yes" "like after breakfast, snack, lunch and snack?" "no, just breakfast and lunch would be fine" "Allllright" It's not the biggest deal I guess but I'm already in the bathroom, helping the daughter with her clothing whenever she has to go, helping her with the tap to wash her hands 10+ times a day and now I need to be in there 2 more times to brush her teeth? How much time out of my day and schedule do I need to take to spend in the bathroom with this one child?!? And maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed about it if their forms had been filled out and the policy and next week's cheque were in my hands and she hadn't insisted on HER particular sunscreen...she didn't even look at what sunscreen I had - dad signed the permission form for sunscreen.
I'm just wondering if this is a rough start or if they are red flags and what your thoughts are on how I should handle all this. On Monday, if/when they bring the cheque, it's technically 4 days late according to my policy. Not sure whether I should insist on that or give them a break. I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on any or all of this. Sorry it's a novel - maybe I've missed my calling.
Additional (not really important) info (as if I haven't said enough yet): 3 year old is coming 4 days a week now (Mon-Thurs) and my full timer is starting in the middle of next week (7 month old boy who is very easy going and who's mom is awesome and has already returned all the forms and thought my policy was very standard and is bringing the cheque for his first week at her last visit with him at the beginning of the week. so I'm really looking forward to them :) has nothing to do really with this story but I just thought I'd share that I have another child coming that I'm really excited for and who's mom has been an excellent first experience for me (she enrolled first, this other mom just started care first)