Yes, potting trainning advice .

[crafty]

Ok so I know all about letting a child tell you when they are ready and to look for the sings but my almost 3.5 year old daugther has been in potty training for the last YEAR ! OMG I can't take it anymore. I have tried all the approach I could find. The reason I continu to potty train is because she does show sings fo readiness. She asks for panties herself yet ... she refuses to go to the potty but refuses diapers. I try to exmplain to her that she can wear underwear when she uses the potty. She says she will but then ... I"m full of pee or poo everywhere. It's frustrating because I KNOW she can hold it. If we go to a store she will use the toilet because it's new and this summer many times I caught her taking her diaper off , pulling her pants down and peeing in the grass. So I feel like she knows and understands it ...why does she refuse to go potty ? I have used different kinds of potty, even the seat you put over the toilet, I've used stickers for motivation, the calendar, treats ... nothing works. Would you just ignore it a put the diaper back on and wait until she asks to go or would you continue with the wet pants and explain everytime and TRYING to keep calm ? I really do feel as she as all the capacities to do it yet she doesn't just cause she can.

Thanks for your advice ladies !

[Crayola kiddies]

Im sure im goung to get tons of backkash for this but No I wouldn't ignore it .... She knows when she has to go cause she us taking off her diaper and pee in the grass ... So I would put her in underwear with a plastic pant over top ....using your mean daycare face tell her if she pees on the potty/toilet she gets a sticker/ box of raisins / whatever floats her boat and if she pees/ poops in her pants she gets the naughty spot .... When a child is over three and knows when they beed to go and can go they are using toileting as a control issue. .... So As much as they need incentive/praise when they go they also need a deterant for when they choose to go in their pants .... And that's exactly what she's doing .... Choosing

[playfelt]

Agreed enough is enough and time to take back control. I would gather all the underwear up and put them in a basket and up out of her reach - she has to earn the privilege of getting them back. That means going a full week - Mon to Fri with a pullup on and treating it like underwear. If she does then she gets to wear underwear on the weekend (the idea here is less mess during the daycare week and only you and her on the weekend). After a month of underwear weekend success she gets to go day by day with underwear during daycare so if she is successful on Monday she gets underwear on Tuesday but since there is only one pair per day first pee on Monday and she goes back into a pullup. OF course when we are in "baby diapers" there are certain "big girl" priveleges we don't get. There has to be a reason to act big.

Once the guidelines are in place it also takes the power struggle away from both of you since there is no negotiating, nothing but the rules and she has the power to control the outcome.

[JennJubie]

When my son gave me trouble with potty training, I used a timer. Anything will work, but I just used a dollar store timer. I set it for 30 minutes and every time the timer went off, he had to go to the bathroom whether he had success or not. It took no time at all before he got tired of having to do it every 30 minutes, and just started going in the toilet when he had to. The best part was he never got upset with me, because when the timer went off he blamed the timer and not me!

[crafty]

Thanks guys that's the exact answer I was hoping for. I felt like ok this is ridiculous but my entourage and even my husband was saying to let her go at her own time. But I know my little girl is just playing stubborn ...just like her mom :D I tried being more firm with her but I doubted it since everyone else was saying not to push her. So she does play the game I truly beleive I think it's the right thing to do.
@ JennJubie, Yes I did that with her as well but after a while all the methodes I use fail. It's like she says ok I've done this and then it became a fight to get her on the potty. So I think I will have to go with a mix of Crayola's suggestion and playfelt. I want to reward good behaviour but I also have to correct the 'bad one'. I think I'll do a 2 strikes and your in diapers type of thing. I worrie about juts putting her in diapers for a week until she goes eveytime as she might just go back to her pull ups and not care ... She's the type.

Thanks so much!!

[mommydaycare]

Not sure if this helps, but I just went through this with my daughter (7 days ago) she is younger but she has been pee trained on her own accord since last Christmas, about 6 weeks before turning 2.

We introduced the potty to her to have her comfortable with it but I wasnt ready to train her so I hadn't prepped/taught myself how to encourage poo training so we left it cause she would poo in her pull up at nap time and just before bed. I figured she was still young and had time. WRONG! What a waste of time, all we were doing was teaching her that i t was okay to poo in her pull-up and bedroom. A friend of mine gave me a link to the 3 day method, first step was I got her to toss all her pull ups in the garbage. Gone cold turkey.....I didn't think it was working because she still poos in her panty but I have since learned that she is either constipated and/or afraid.
We did the sticker chart on her bedroom closet so she can see it. If she wakes up with a dry and clean panty she gets to put her sticker on the chart herself and one on her hand. I got her to repeat after me that "my panty is not my toilet, my bed is not my toilet" it has helped. 4 days now waking up with the same panty she went to bed in. We went out and bought her choice of panties and after her bath they all get laid out for her to choose the special ones in hopes of them still being on in the morning.

My problem now is getting her stool softened up to give her comfort in knowing she can do it

[Crayola kiddies]

Crafty .... In my opinion a pull up is just a glorified diaper ..... It dies exactly the sane thing and kids know that..... Put underwear on and put a potty where you spend most of your time so there is quick access and no pants just the underwear and a plastic pant .... Keep reminding her she has big girl pants on and not to pee in them and ask repeatedly if she has to go ..... If your going outside say to her " we are going outside you need to go potty first.... She is old enough to understand ..... If you do the 2 strikes thing then you might find thats exactly what she wants ... To be in diapers .....Tell her there are no more diapers except for sleeping .... Be really firm .... No more messing around .... Peeing your pants is not an option ! She won't like being in the naught spot very often and will probably like the treat more .... But it has to be something that really motivated them .... Good luck

[crafty]

Thanks ! Well today I've had more success !! She did 'forget' a couple of times so she had mini accidents in her pants but finished in the potty. I think she just got used to pee in her pants so much she would forget. So I did not put a diaper on after the second accident as she did ask for the potty when she realised she was getting a litle bit wet.

When I knew she had to go but refused I said you either sit on the potty or sit in a time out ...what do you want ? So she went potty and when she did I would give her a small treat of anykind. The right to watch 15 min. of TV, a cookie ... anything as the stickers and the calendar do not work anymore. She is very persistant when she wants too and can't really be "bought'':D So I prefer rewarding once the deed as been done. The incentives never really worked consistantly for anything with her. But I did tell her that if she wanted to keep her underwear she had to go potty otherwise she would wear the diapers. It seemed to work because she did not want a diaper. Before bed I said I was very happy she used the potty all day and that tomorrow we would do the same thing.

[Crayola kiddies]

That's great news ....and yes I agree the reward is always after the deed... I used smarties for my third and fourth child ... One smartie for a pee and two for a poo ... But for my fifth child I just used stickers cause I didn't want to be giving out smarties to all the daycare kids. Once she realizes you mean business and there is no option I'm sure it will progress quickly and she will have less and less accidents everyday .... Keep up the good work and props to your daughter. ; )