Potty time and mixed genders

[DCMom]

Hi,

I am just starting out and would appreciate your input:

When it is time for everyone to try the potty/toilet (before outings, naps, etc...), would you and your DKparents be comfortable with the children being in the bathroom all at the same time (i.e. if you have a potty/toilet for everyone - in a small group) if there are boys and girls? Would you separate by gender (boys' toilet time, then girls' toilet time)? Consideration of age?

As a parent, I personally would be comfortable with mixed genders for younger children, but want to know if this is what others do/think and want to make sure parents are comfortable.

Thanks!

[Momof4]

I love it when I get a chance to tell this story! I had a boy & girl training at the same time 3 years ago and the girl peed in the small sit down potty and the boy trained standing up at my toilet. One day I asked the little boy to give the little girl room because she had to sit down to pee. He said 'I know, because boys have weiners and girls have petunias so they have to sit.'

I went through it again the next year with a girl and a boy who used the same system but it was because I could get them both to go at the same time. Now I don't have to use the small potty any more because the girl now uses the regular toilet.

Anyway, to answer your question, no it doesn't matter to me if mixed genders are training. At daycare centres they use the same bathroom too I believe.

[gcj]

wow momof4...you let the little guys stand? You're brave! :woot: I make them all sit!
And yes, they all go together. They're too young for it to matter. And I'm too busy to start doing a girl trip to the potty, then a boy trip...

[Momof4]

My downstairs toilet is very short so it's great and the first boys were tall! I'm having issues right now with a little boy who is shorter and I'm using the ring on the toilet method. Toilet learning is a thorn in our side, I swear! Taking time away from all the children for special treatment for a few children is a real problem.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Yes coming from 'centre based care' I do bathroom time in 'mixed genders' as well because when you have multiple children training it is just easier to have them all going at one ~ I do this until they are school age or fully trained and now requiring any assistance at all and then they make use the bathroom on own and earn the right to privacy so to speak.

I witnessed a horrible accident in centre care with a little boy peeing standing up where the seat came down and nearly took the tip of his penis off so at my house everyone pees sitting down while training ~ you have to be fully trained and tall enough to hold the seat up while still holding your penis for aim with the other hand before you are allowed to pee standing up!

I have also noticed in my years of training that if peeing standing up is introduced too early for boys it can impact their ability to master 'pooping' on the potty because they do not fully make the connection of sitting down and 'relaxing' that portion of their body in order too poop because much of the success of mastering the pooping sensation is by accident when toddlers sit down to try and pee and a poop comes as well ~ this does not happen when boys pee standing up because well the rectum instinctively 'tenses' for them to prevent that from happening. So in addition to being tall enough to hold the lid and aim to pee standing up you have to have fully mastered the pooping as well here before 'standing'.

Plus IMO peeing standing up to pee one of those things that the quote 'just because you can do something does not mean it is a good idea to do something' is intended for ~ in a perfect world no one would stand up to pee because it is MESSY and DISGUSTING having to clean up the splatter of this cause even when you can 'aim' the taller men get the more splatter occurs and drips down the fricken toilet sides and walls for whomever has to clean the bathroom ~ typically the women :rolleyes:

[mimi]

Yes, the genders go at the same time, though if no one has an urgency, I always say ladies first. Never too young to teach these future men how to treat the ladies. Yes, my boys sit down even if they are training standing up at home.

[Mamma_Mia]

I agree with genders dont matter but depending on the ages. When my 5yr old dcg has to go potty I wouldn't send in the boys to go too.....she's learning about privacy and doesn't feel comfortable going. She'll just stand there or say "no boys allowed" lol

[kidlove]

At my house "potty time" is a learning experience all the way around!!! :laugh: The "little ones" learn how to go potty, the "big ones" get to teach the little ones and encourage them, and they ALL "learn about GENDER!" :laugh::laugh: "Why doesn't she have a pee-pee?" "what is that?" every once in a while they will also walk in on me (no, who am I kidding!) very often...they walk in on me, I have been asked what parts I have as well. I am a VERY open person, my own kids call the parts by their proper names (no pee pee or wee wee). Takes the "oh my!" out of things. It's all matter of fact in my house. The kids ask I answer and the "oh Wow!" is over.
Too many kids to do one at a time in the potty, they all stand in line and wait their turn at the toilet and sink. (unless they request privacy, then we respect them and give it) :)

[kidlove]

completely agree with Reggio, NO ONE stands to pee at my house.....too messy. ;)

[Naftafia]

I have to say that my experience appears to be quite different then everyone elses. As much as I like to think that I am open :unsure: this potty training thing with three kids (2boys on girl) had me thinking alot. All my kids know the difference between boys and girls and proper terms are used, but I was not quite comfortable with the attention they gave each other to the point of almost gawking! So my 3 three year olds go to the bathroom on their own, with the door nearly closed. This also came too because my son tends to get an erection very easily and I was not about to explain that one to the others ! :o:laugh:

Both boys pee standing because one of my little guys made a mess when peeing sitting. We tried everything from leaning forward, tucking it in, removing pants, legs spread and he would still manage to pee outside of the toilet.... so standing it is!

[KingstonMom]

I have 2 girls and my 2 yo son all potty training together. They will all usually go in together but one of the girls (3yo) kicks him out as she likes privacy. Which is great I think. She discovered on her own time when she wants to be alone and thats fine!
My son sometimes will pee standing up "like daddy". He pulls a step stool to the toilet but leaves the seat down. So far he has pretty good aim. Not alwasy does he do this though. And he has also mastered pooping on the potty with no problems so I let him pee standing if/when he wants.

[Sandbox Sally]

We potty train together. We change into swim suits together too, until the child is old enough to ask to be separated from the group, which normally happens around 4 or 5, or in the case of my son, never. ;) I am very anti body shaming in my house, and this extends to the daycare kids too.

[kidlove]

Thanks alpha: O see it the same way, the facts are the facts, thats the body we were given...not a big deal, boys are boys and girls are girls. I am the same with the age as well, usually around 5 or so some kids tend to ask for privacy, its always given...same with me...I NEVER close the door all the way, when I go potty, I go as quick as I can and the way I look at it is, if a 1 or 2 yr old wants to mosey in to see me in the potty it is "less chance" for them to get into something or get hurt while I am "busy", I also keep the door open to keep a better control on them, with the door cracked, I can hear better what is being said or done, not to mention with the door cracked, all they have to do is puch it open if there is an emergency. Kids also learn by example....little ones see you (descretely) on the pot :) they get ideas!!!! thats just my crazy take! :) Very "open" house here...nothing to be ashamed of!!! family & dck

[Sandbox Sally]

Yeah, I've never quite understood the whole toddler/preschool "body is private" thing, when it comes to primary care providers.

I have actually never understood modesty in the home with peoples' own kids either. My sis in law started wearing swim suits to bathe with her kids when they were toddlers, and was shocked when I and other family members said we still let our kids see us without clothing.

LOL My own children are 12, 10 and 8, and I still walk around naked all the time, as does DH, as do all three of them. If and when they ever express discomfort with this arrangement, I will reexamine it then. Everyone has a body. :)

[kidlove]

Totally agree alpha. a body is a body, they are all pretty much made the same. no big deal. My Mom thinks its crazy we all showered together. "Hubby and son" "Daughter and me". My Mom was like "what?" like its wierd or gross.....something is only weird or gross, if you make it weird or gross. We see it as conserving water (not to mention) teaching proper hygene. (My son washes "exactly" how Daddy does) ha ha! now this is a PRIME example of "what works for one" may or may not work for everyone. But that works for us...none of us have much patience and we spend ALOT of "family time together" (outside the shower :) haha) therefore, by the end of the night, it's GO GO GO!!!! to get ready for bed. No diferent from showering in a locker room. Every one minds their own bees wax and washes up. We decided to go with like gender however....after my son decided to talk to my boobs rather than my face one night...ha ha, realized he was ready to shower with just Dad after that. :laugh: (take us or leave us! :))