Problem with routine.

[mlle.coccinelle]

Hi!

I started my dayhome 2 weeks ago, and i'm having a hard time with keeping up with the routine.

I have this 3 and a half year old girl with me part time. her mom was upset yesterday because she only had a 3 hours nap in the afternoon ( and that was because we woke her up when her mom came to pick her up. )

She said that they usualy put her to bed at the same time that they go to bed... so if it is 12... the little girl goes to bed at 12... they also told me that when she doesnt come to dayhome she wakes up around 10:30 in the morning.... so she has a 4 hour nap in the afternoon...

I dont know how to tell them that it's not working for our dayhome. She comes in the morning and she is very grumpy because they woke her up early, by 10 she is fine. around 1 she is grumpy again because she is tired.... and when the rest of the crew wakes up around 3... she gets woken up... so she is grumpy again! When she is grumpy, she cries, hits other kids and she hits me too.... so you can forget about going potty...!
When she is in a good mood, she is a really sweet girl... she is just grumpy 75% of the time!

HELp!

[kidlove]

I ALWAYS ask parents to have their child's sched as close to mine as possible. I don't gear the nessecity toward "my needs" rather toward the "child needs" explain to the mother, you have alot of other children to please and work with, there for you have found it works much better to keep them as "common" as possible with routine. This may mean she will need to start a more routine sched at home, rather than "willy nilly" suggest maybe an earlier bedtime will help with keeping her happy through the day (not to mention give the Mom and Dad some time at night to relax together) routine is good all the way around, and I always ask parents what home schedules are like and inform them, the child's schedule NEEDS to be as similar to day home as possible or thing may not work out. (that's when I remind of the 4 week trial period I offer) :) it usually lets them know, you NEED them to work with you!!!! :)

[crafty]

OMG what are the parents thinking honestly !?! You know I would try to tell them as Kidlove said that because you have other children to tend to you can't cater to the needs of her sleeping schedule and that it would be in the childs benefit to keep a regular routine at HOME so she can adapt more easily at daycare and anywhere else in the futur.

[Dreamalittledream]

Not to mention...how is this preparing her for school at all? Or, when does quality time for parents themselves occur...shaking my head

[Dreamalittledream]

What time do parents pick her up? Can you fit an afternoon nap for her in (make lunch a bit earlier, for example).

[gcj]

I wouldn't rework your routine to fit their insanity! They either have to get her on a healthy routine or I wouldn't keep them. Seriously, what are they thinking?!?! Wouldn't they like a bit of child-free time in the evening too. Not to mention that she NEEDS a more normal schedule. Holy smokes!

[Momof4]

I wouldn't rework your routine to fit their insanity! They either have to get her on a healthy routine or I wouldn't keep them. Seriously, what are they thinking?!?! Wouldn't they like a bit of child-free time in the evening too. Not to mention that she NEEDS a more normal schedule. Holy smokes!

Exactly. Don't rework YOUR schedule! I insist that families get their children on my mealtime and naptime routines before starting daycare too. And I stress that it is HEALTHY for the child. I can prove it. Yesterday we took the bus to a friend's house and got all off schedule and the children were messed up for the rest of the day and some parents were telling me about how their child woke up in the middle of the night. Routine is really, really important for children and for adults for that matter.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree with the other ladies .... this is 'group childcare care' and while we have more flexibility than a 'centre' does the reality of caring for multiple children is that it comes with a group routine and schedule for the most part in order to manage the group needs!

I know it is too late now because they are enrolled but discussions around 'sleep routine' are something that should occur during the interview process to ensure you share the same values moving forward .... IME there are three basic areas where being too 'different' can make the working relationship just too challenging because children need consistency between home and daycare in order to thrive and that is sleep, nutrition and behaviour management philosophies!

I would be having the ole 'while i respect that this routine worked for you previously when you are home with her daily unfortunately now that she is starting a daycare program and likely going to school next year we really need to be working together to have her on a schedule and routine that is going to help her thrive in THOSE settings!'

[fruitloop]

I wouldn't rework your routine to fit their insanity! They either have to get her on a healthy routine or I wouldn't keep them. Seriously, what are they thinking?!?! Wouldn't they like a bit of child-free time in the evening too. Not to mention that she NEEDS a more normal schedule. Holy smokes!

I agree! This is why in the interview, I ask if the child is on a schedule at home and what a typical day is like. After they tell me, I either agree (if on a normal schedule for a child) or tell them it's important for the child to be as close as they can to my schedule to benifit the child. If they told their schedule was like what you described, I probably wouldn't of accepted them into care. Obviously they parenting style is not the same as mine and it will result in conflict of interest.

[mlle.coccinelle]

Oh, you have NO ideas, i'm having such a hard time with this family. Being a first timer, I didnt realised how important signing a contract is. So that's what we are doing on monday. I'm giving their little girl ( and them too) an other month to show me that they are a good fit for our family. I'm having a hard time since she is the baby of a family of 5, and they basicaly do everything for her. And as much as I try, I cant be next t her every minute of the day... So she has hurt my son pretty bad on friday.

Oh dear, My mom had told me that having a dayhome was hard, i didnt think it was THAT hard

[daycarewhisperer]

Put her to bed right when she gets to your house to finish her nights sleep. Let her sleep until nine or so and then up for three hours then a three hour afternoon nap. That should do the trick. She just needs to finish her nights rest when she gets there. I've had many kids over the years who stay up till their parents go to bed and just make up for it in the morning when they get here.

[cfred]

If they're being that difficult, and not willing to budge on routine, maybe termination is the best thing. I'm pretty clear with parents, even at the first interview, that I have a routine and that's the way it is. I don't cater to any family as it's not fair to the other kids or, quite frankly, me. We have a lot on our plates as providers. We have to maintain a schedule that works so we can balance everything in an effective, manageable way.

And having a dayhome isn't that hard....I mean it's a lot of hard work, but it shouldn't be stressing you out this much. Don't let other people put so much on your shoulders. Do your job, maintain your schedule and enjoy what you do. So far as parents who give you a hard time, you can always invite them to look at other daycares to compare. I've worked in both daycare centres, schools and at home. NO ONE caters to one specific family except private nannies. You're doing just fine :)

[mlle.coccinelle]

Thx for the advice and encouragement Cfred. I have given her 1 month to get better and things are slowly getting there. she is still tired in the morning, but at lease she is not pushing my little guy around like she used to!