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View Full Version : What do other daycares think of this situation?



diamondmine
09-23-2012, 02:20 PM
Hello All,

My 17 month old son just started at daycare. We interviewed a month in advance and found someone we liked. We met her a few times and brought our son over to let him play etc..so she could see if he was a good "fit" with her daughter who is the same age, a little bit younger.

She is just starting her daycare (never done it before) instead of going back to work after her maternity leave as she wants to stay home with her daughter. At both meetings I asked her if she would like a two weeks deposit as I know this is common policy at most home daycares. She kept saying no, that she doesn't do that. At the time we interviewed she was going to have her daughter, my son, another boy a little over a year, and a 3 year old. By the time our son started she said the other kids had cancelled or she guested she must have been their second choice. So it was just going to be her daughter, and my son.

We met with her and signed a contract for care etc on a Thursday. He was starting on Monday. Sunday night I get an email from her saying she changed her mind and wanted a two weeks deposit. The next day (Monday -his first day) I give her the two weeks deposit and a post dated check for the end of the week for that weeks care.

So he goes there for five days (Monday to Friday that week). She is worried because he hasn't eaten lunch for her any day that week. He is doing this at home also, but I can usually get him to eat a little bit. He's cutting molars, is tired and cranky, and want's nothing to do with food as always when that happens. I tell her this and say it will get better in a week or so. She said he is cranky and must not like her daughter. Her daughter is always wanting to hug/kiss and he pushes her away and daughter is getting frustrated and starting to not like him. I told her it is going to take more than 3 days for him to get used to everything and I am sure a couple weeks in they will be fine together.

Anyway, my husband picks him up from daycare Friday night of his first week and she doesn't say anything bad. The I get an email from her at 9:30pm Friday night saying she is sorry but cannot care for our son anymore as she had gotten a job opportunity she can't turn down and to take this as our two weeks notice.

So, now after one week of care we are looking for new daycare. But, seriously? I just paid $600.00 for one week of care, because who would send their kid who is trying to get used to daycare back there for the next two weeks and then start him at a whole new daycare? My take is either of these:

1) She has never done daycare or had a child in daycare. It sounded easy and fun to stay at home with her kid instead of going back to work and having daycare kids would bring in income. She doesn't know that a kid isn't going to land on her doorstep and feel like home within a couple of days.

2) Her plan to stay at home was screwed up when the other two kids cancelled and she realized she wasn't going to have enough incoming money with just one kid but thought she would go ahead with it and see if she could get more kids. When she didn't get more kids, she decided to go back to work but had signed a contract with us and wasn't going back for a few weeks so went ahead with it, asked for two weeks deposit the night before he started (after repeatedly saying she didn't want a deposit) and provided care for one week, then let us know she was going back to work.

We feel we have paid $600.00 for 5 days of care because it is just too disruptive to wait out the two weeks at her house and change things up again at a new place after being with her for a total of three weeks. I feel it is better to just find a new place asap and start him to kind of lessen the disruptiveness of the situation. But, then we are out two weeks. On top of that, of course we will have to pay a new daycare provider a deposit plus pay for his care at the new place while we are still paying for the old place.

My question: What do you think? Am I at all allowed to feel somewhat scammed?

Lou
09-23-2012, 02:30 PM
It definitely sounds like she didn't quite know what to expect, and isn't cut out for this job. Have you asked her if you could have the deposit returned so that you can use it towards a new arrangement so that your son does not have to return to her next week? So that she can spend quality time with just her daughter before she returns to work? She might actually feel relieved and just give it back. If she is not, I would just continue to send your son there for the remaining 2 weeks if you feel he is in good hands there, and use this time to not feel SO rushed in finding a new childcare arrangement. Hopefully, the next one is a better fit!! Good luck!

Inspired by Reggio
09-23-2012, 02:59 PM
It is stories like this that break my heart as they make it that much harder for every other 'new business' to get themselves established because other parents read this and than they worry 'do not want to take a chance of a newbie because she might decide she does not like it and close up shop :(

Have you signed a contract with this provider?

Either way my guess is that the contract does not address a security deposit or notice period being 'paid' since she changed this the 1 business day before you were do to commence care so I am making an educated guess she either has NO contract or it is not properly written to protect herself or you in this circumstance.

If there is no contract or if the contract does not address 'security deposits' being non refundable and only to be able to applied to 'service' given proper notice by either the client or the provider than I agree with Lou ~ in this instance as a parent I would firmly request the deposit back!

Since based on the info you have provider it is the provider who is reneging on the arrangement by closing up after only one week of trying this and it is not only not fair to your child to continue going to this person for two weeks since she is closing and he has no hope of forming a 'bond' with her so why try but IME it is not IDEAL to have that many providers in such a short period for a toddler as his first experience in childcare and it could make it harder at the 'next' option you choose ... IMO better to just take the time to find someone 'new' while you stay home... if she refuses to give you your deposit back I would not send him but instead file a Better Business Bureau complaint as well as a Small Claims file to get your money back for entering into a contract not in good faith and than keeping the $$$!

As a provider if this was ME terminating in these circumstances in the interest of good customer service and KARMA I would have offered to refund your deposit if you wanted in lieu of notice OR provide care for the two weeks if you really needed it but I would let YOU be deciding since you have done nothing wrong to breach your end of the deal and your child's behaviour is 'normal transition behaviour' and not aggressive or putting any one else at risk or causing a liability to the business basically ... IMO I would not have a leg to stand on in demanding to keep your $$$ since I agree no parent should be financially blackmailed into sending their child for a notice period when it is the provider terminating for a reason such as this .... if you'd been in care for years and she was retiring and giving notice that would be different but IMO closing 1 week into a contract just cause she 'changed her mind' is just BAD FAITH business practices and gives our business a really bad name :(

diamondmine
09-23-2012, 03:28 PM
We signed a contract 4 days before care was to begin. She didn't have a contract or deposit policy the meetings we had with her before that. She is just starting out and I thought it was wierd, since who would start a daycare without that. But she ended up having a contract so we signed it.

It was one day before care was to begin that she wanted a two weeks deposit, said she changed her mind. It states in the contract that two weeks written notice has to be given by either party to terminate. So that basically means she has now given us two weeks notice and we are expected to pay for the next two weeks, right? (that would be our two weeks deposit)

My sister (who runs a daycare) says cancel the cheque. Send him if we have to for a week or two until we find a new daycare provider, and just pay her on a weekly basis for however long he is there (whether it is a week or two weeks). She said she could cash the cheque and then refuse care for the next two weeks.

fruitloop
09-23-2012, 03:50 PM
It definitely sounds like she didn't quite know what to expect, and isn't cut out for this job. Have you asked her if you could have the deposit returned so that you can use it towards a new arrangement so that your son does not have to return to her next week? So that she can spend quality time with just her daughter before she returns to work? She might actually feel relieved and just give it back. If she is not, I would just continue to send your son there for the remaining 2 weeks if you feel he is in good hands there, and use this time to not feel SO rushed in finding a new childcare arrangement. Hopefully, the next one is a better fit!! Good luck!

This! I would either ask for the deposit back as she is the one breaking the contract or keep taking your child there for the remaining 2 weeks BUT do not pay her any more money. That deposit SHOULD go towards either the first 2 weeks or last 2 weeks of care (whichever the provider does...I do last month/weeks of care). If she is any sort of decent person, she would return your deposit so you can put it towards another spot elsewhere. It was very unfair of her to pull out after only 1 week. It sounds like she has NO idea what the hell she was doing and was not prepared for what daycare is really like.

Inspired by Reggio
09-23-2012, 04:23 PM
Ya ~ that is the challenge ... if the contact does not specifically say that the Security deposit given is non refundable and must be used for the last two weeks of care than you do have a case to say 'thank you but we do not need require care for the two weeks notice in this scenario and we will just be done and request your security deposit be refunded ... if she does not than I would try the cancel the cheque route with the bank and explain your situation but if she's already cashed it on you and refuses to refund it your option is to either accept care during that time frame to get your monies worth OR suck it up and not to send him and try the Small Claims court to get your $400 back assuming that 200 of that 600 was for the care last week but there is a risk that the court could side with her although given what you've shared the ambiguity of her contract could air in your favor since that is the way the law works ... if there is a reasonable way to interpret it differently than the person who did not 'draft' the contract gets the benefit of the doubt in interpretation in the courts?

diamondmine
09-23-2012, 04:25 PM
Deposit cheque was cashed as well as this past week's care. Will have to keep sending him until I get new daycare which could be a week or maybe two weeks who knows. Since the deposit is cashed we will not be giving any more money and she "owes" two weeks care anyway.

Momof4
09-23-2012, 04:53 PM
Oh dear, what a horrible situation. I think you are right in your thinking that this woman thought it would be easy to 'babysit' instead of trying to run a proper daycare. It's too bad that you put your faith in her and she let you down. This is a lesson for parents to use their best instincts when choosing their daycare. You should be careful that your child is in fact safe if you decide to stay for the next 2 weeks and I agree that you should definitely get your money back since she's breaking the contract, not you.

Sunny Day
09-24-2012, 05:39 AM
I am so sorry. How she can do something like that especial for the little boy. O my it make me sick...... why grownup can make their mind. I am new in day care in Canada I had one before in US but situations like that not helping us new to the business. Shame on her.... Good luck with finding new day care for him.

apples and bananas
09-24-2012, 06:41 AM
This is horrible. Sounds like you hit the nail right on the head. She didn't know what to expect, it was harder then she anticipated and she's having trouble balancing the books without the other ones that she thought were signing up.

I always think it's funny when a parent is telling the caregiver to relax and give it a few weeks for their child to get comfortable, that it's normal not to eat for the first little bit etc. usually it's me telling the parent that.

So Sorry this happened to you. I think you should get your deposit back. You have to wonder if she's going to give good enough care for the next 2 weeks.

kidlove
09-24-2012, 07:17 AM
Sorry this happened.....the only thing I can think of is she is inexperienced and didn't bargain for such a "rough" go of things. It is difficult to start a new child who won't eat or maybe cries all day. But,.....knowing children as I do, you need to give them time to adjust, especially children who have never been in Day Care before. Sounds like all the way around everyone is in a stinky situation. If I were to guess the situation: She decided to start a Day Care from home to be with her own daughter....HAD families lined up and for whatever reason all decided to go with someone else but you. Her initial intention was to NOT charge for deposit (making it easier on the families) but after the canceling of all the other families...she really needed money to get bills paid and due to your offer of paying ahead (perhaps talked it over with her Husband) and realized that extra cash may be a good start to get caught up on the bills that may have been lingering since taking on this new endeavor. (something she didn't anticipate)
This is the "gamble" a parent takes when going with a NEW provider, I always put myself in the parents shoes and completely agree with the idea of "going with a more seasoned provider". Choosing a provider you have to take a lot of things into consideration and "experience" is a BIG factor. even if the provider is a mother to many and has been for years, the job itself is new to her, the paperwork, the ups and downs, the difficult child, the transition for all...these are all things that can make or break someone who has never tried it before. Thank you for being willing to go with her anyway, that says a lot for all providers, you seem like a really nice person and all new providers dream of a parent like you. Not saying its not a good choice to go with some one new, just saying you took a gamble and unfortunately...didn 't come out on top. I don't think anyone is to blame here, just keep looking and learn from this situation. Maybe it would be a better idea to go for someone who's been in the business a little longer. Only because you are new at this too, going with someone inexperienced is kind of like "the blind leading the blind". :) As far as losing your deposit? well...have you found another provider yet? if not....and your child is in "quality" care with this provider....just stick it out, sympathize with her...keep and open communication for the next few weeks and get your moneys worth in daycare. :) if you are not comfortable with keeping your child in care, I guess you will lose the money, considering she has offered her services through the required time on the contract and you will have to forgo your deposit. Good Luck finding your next provider, and for your childs sake....I hope this one will "stick" :)

treeholm
09-24-2012, 07:21 AM
I am so sorry you had this experience. You will no doubt find it difficult to trust the next caregiver until she "proves" herself, and that makes it hard on all of you. It does sound like this person did not plan carefully or do her research. She would have had a contract ready before she began, and she would have understood that transition is tough for everyone. I spent about 8 weeks doing my research before I opened, and it has made my opening easier than I expected. It annoys me that someone would see this as a "I'm home anyway, I'll just do daycare and make money while I'm home anyway" venture instead of realizing that this is a business, and the dynamics of adding extra children to your own is REAL WORK! I certainly feel that I earn every penny, I'm not just hanging out at home plopping the kids in front of the tv all day... Just my 2 cents' worth. I hope you are able to find someone like the ladies on this forum and that your next daycare experience is positive!

sminoli
09-24-2012, 09:10 AM
I have been operating and running my home daycare for over 8 years, I am very professional and organized. For the past few weeks in my neighborhood, there has been a lot of new caregivers, the few of them that I spoke too, recently lost their government jobs. Everyone wants to stay home and operate a home daycare. It is not for everyone, it can be stressful at time and dealing with parents sometime is not easy. When you have a home daycare, it is a business. My suggestion would be to find someone that has been a caregiver for a few years and with some excellent references. It's unfortunate that you first daycare experience had to be a bad experience. Good luck to you and your family.

Inspired by Reggio
09-24-2012, 10:02 AM
See this is what saddens me about experiences like this everyone is saying it was the 'newbie' that was the issue here and beware the newbie and IMO that is NOT what the issue was at all ... the very same thing could have happened with a 'seasoned' provider and HAS happened if you look at forums for statistics ... burnt out providers who sign on new families and within a week or so decide to 'close' because they were not 100% committed to their business anymore and rather than 'pausing' to reflect on what was best before moving forward making a commitment they made the commitment anyway cause they did not want to pass up the $$ in the meantime ... IMO this is not a 'newbie' issue but an issue of professionalism or lack there of on the person who entered into the business contract .... IMO if you are not 100% sure about your plan to do this or not you should not be making commitments you cannot keep specially to CHILDREN whose emotional development and attachment is put at risk by fly by the night persons who come into their lives only to leave a week or two later :(

IMO one of the FIRST questions any provider thinking of entering this field should be asking themselves is 'how many children do I need to have enrolled to be viable' because if you need to be FULL at all times to make basic ends meet than you better have a very STRONG business plan and SAVINGS before even starting out which leads to the second question you need to ask yourself 'what is my business plan for the financial instability of being self employed' because if your family relies on your income to pay KEY bills in your family budget verses just the 'extras' that you could do without in a true pinch than THIS field is a huge risk cause it is a feast or famine industry where one minute you could be turning clients away and the next minute you could suddenly find yourself living on 1/5 your previous income for weeks or months!

IMO when seeking childcare one should look for signs of 'long term commitment' to the business at hand ... there is a difference between someone who just opens up their doors and takes in a few kids and someone operating a BUSINESS of home childcare ... seeking someone who has researched this and is likely in it for a long haul you can look for signs such as has the person registered the business name they are using, taken the time to have created a website, created a contract and parent handbook, when you ASK them how long do you plan on doing this do they have an answer that flows off the tongue as if they have 'given it thought' and so forth, have they invested in creating 'space' in their home for children to thrive across all the domains or is it evident they just opened their doors and are making use of a few odds and sods left over from their own children and so forth. The internet is full of resources for clients seeking childcare in what to look for in a quality early learning program ~ make sure to choose someone who has invested in their business enough to ensure they are all covered and you should have a positive experience!

I was a newbie once myself ~ we all were and thankfully people took a chance on us so that we were able to become viable and now be 'seasoned providers' but the difference between us and this provider is that we were truly invested in making this work ~ obviously this person should have done more research to ensure she was cut out for this field :(

sunnydays
09-24-2012, 11:51 AM
What a sad story! I hope you will find a new daycare ASAP. Personally, I would not want to send my child back to that daycare...if she is struggling so much with it and so unhappy with it, that is not a good environment for your child to be in! Is there any way you can take a leave of absence from work in order to find a daycare? I just would worry that she has no reason to provide excellent care to your child now that she doesn't need your business nor does she need your reference as she won't be doing daycare...plus her character has shown some less than wonderful traits with keeping your security deposit...and she has admitted she is struggling...sounds like a recipe for disaster to me :(

Connect
09-24-2012, 12:38 PM
hello,
sorry to hear about your situation. You should get your money back. It is only fair. Maybe she got cold feet. Being a home care provider is certainly not an easy job. Very few can do it and I fully admire those who can.

momof5
09-24-2012, 01:05 PM
I opened my day home a year ago, I have taken the time to create my website, make sure i have all my proper paperwork, dedicated my main floor for my daycare. Spent tons of time and money to make this happen,and i am always looking into ways i can better my dayhome. I don't think it's fair to judge "new" providers when most of us have put our hearts and souls into providing excellent quality care for these little ones. Us "New" providers have to work so much harder to prove to families that we are just as good as the seasoned care providers out there.
We 'Newbies ' have to sell our program to families so much harder when interviewing, since there are so many families that would rather sign on with a well established dayhome.
I know there are excellent 'new' dayhomes out there.

Momof4
09-24-2012, 03:28 PM
Yes, we all started out 'new' at this at the beginning, but the only way to make a good reputation and have good references is to be reliable, trustworthy, caring and honest and the original poster didn't get any of that. So I assume you won't be a reference for her either! When we are new we are building a business and that takes a professional attitude and commitment to the families in our care.

cfred
09-24-2012, 03:44 PM
So sorry to hear about your poor experience. I agree with everyone else.....she got into it without really understanding the business or what to expect. You are absolutely correct in feeling ripped off. You should absolutely get your deposit back, but the question is how up to the chase are you? It's a shame that providers like her are out there because it does indeed make it hard for dedicated newbies to get a good start.

The fact that she asked you for the deposit immediately prior to starting your son makes me think that yes, you've been scammed a bit. It sounds to me like she was just looking for any 'reasonable' excuse to let you go. Anyone who's in this business knows it takes time for a child to adjust. It's almost never an immediate fit. It's hard and no one enjoys the transition, but it's part of the gig and we've all gone through it many times I'm sure. She was terribly unprofessional.

Good luck in your (I'm sure frantic) search for daycare on short notice. Again, I'm so sorry you had this experience.

diamondmine
09-24-2012, 08:59 PM
Well, we are looking for new daycare now and hope we find a good place asap. Neither one of us can take time off work since we don't have anymore vacation time left for the year. I feel like I made the wrong choice because we interviewed a few people who all seemed great, and decided to go with her. I don't feel like I can contact the others now after telling them we had decided to go with another daycare after interviewing them. We have pretty much told them they were second choice, haven't we?

So now we are scrambling trying to find a good caregiver and he will be going back to her for the next two weeks until we find someone new. My son didn't go today because he wasn't feeling well all weekend and neither is my husband so they stayed home today. He will be going back tomorrow. I spoke with the caregiver face to face today to let her know he wasn't coming today but will be back tomorrow, which was best as it seems she has also caught whatever they have and wasn't feeling well today either, but didn't want to call in sick on me.
We'll just have to take it all as a learning experience and get on with it. I would rather not shufffle my kid around so much but at the same time while I think it's a crap situation I don't feel at all that he's in any harm in her care.

I'm going to take the deposit thing as her reaction to how the other families that told her they were signing on left her in the lurch and "held up" spots she could have filled with other kids. To be completely honest I don't think she actually found a job though. I think she just doesn't want to be honest and say she doesn't think our son is a good fit. If that is the case and she is planning on continuing daycare with other children then I hope she is more prepared for how some children can react and need a "transition" time which is usually more than a few days. My son wasn't bad. She said he would have times during the day when he was upset and "sad" and she couldn't cheer him up. He didn't want to eat lunch for her (but would eat snacks and juice or milk), and slept a couple hours each day without fuss, just put down in the pack and play and would go to sleep. He would have a cranky morning, but then would be fine and happy in the afternoon or vice versa. When my husband would pick him up at the end of they day he wasn't running for his arms or anything, he seemed happy. She thought it was weird that he didn't like to be hugged by her daughter (would play side by side with her but didn't want her hugging him or touching his head etc...) I don't think she expected any sort of separation anxiety. I hope if she is planning on continuing daycare and finding a better "playmate" for her daughter that things go better (or maybe a little worse? :p lol!).

Judy Trickett
09-25-2012, 06:25 AM
My take is either of these:

1) She has never done daycare or had a child in daycare. It sounded easy and fun to stay at home with her kid instead of going back to work and having daycare kids would bring in income. She doesn't know that a kid isn't going to land on her doorstep and feel like home within a couple of days.

2) Her plan to stay at home was screwed up when the other two kids cancelled and she realized she wasn't going to have enough incoming money with just one kid but thought she would go ahead with it and see if she could get more kids. When she didn't get more kids, she decided to go back to work but had signed a contract with us and wasn't going back for a few weeks so went ahead with it, asked for two weeks deposit the night before he started (after repeatedly saying she didn't want a deposit) and provided care for one week, then let us know she was going back to work.

We feel we have paid $600.00 for 5 days of care because it is just too disruptive to wait out the two weeks at her house and change things up again at a new place after being with her for a total of three weeks. I feel it is better to just find a new place asap and start him to kind of lessen the disruptiveness of the situation. But, then we are out two weeks. On top of that, of course we will have to pay a new daycare provider a deposit plus pay for his care at the new place while we are still paying for the old place.

My question: What do you think? Am I at all allowed to feel somewhat scammed?

And your take on things would be bang on. :yes:

Every daycare provider started out at some point being a "new provider". And obviously anyone who has been at this job a few years wasn't like the provider you speak of in your case. BUT, there is a HUGE risk taken when you sign on with a newbie provider for exactly the reasons you list above. Daycare is HARD from a mental and emotional standpoint (for the provider) and when you combine that with the fluctuations in income and the entire affair of having to run a BUSINESS it can be way more than a lot of newbies signed on for. And this is why statistically most "providers" don't last more than a few months. I find that around late July or August of each year a whole new crop of providers show up on Kijiji or daycarebear advertising. This happens because they realize, after a nice, long summer, that they would rather stay home than go back to work. They decide to become daycare providers. ;) September is THE biggest daycare entry month for children. But something I have personally seen over the years is that around late October, early November I start getting inquiries for immediate care. I get those inquiries because some of those newbie providers up and quit because they couldn't make it work. In my ten years in this business I have had probably six children start immediately due to their provider closing up.

What she did was wrong. I understand that she "tried" to make it work and probably wasn't maliciously trying to screw you over But the fact still remains that she put you in a very tough position. It was unprofessional. My guess is that she put absolutely no thought into becoming a daycare provider and didn't do any research before she started advertising and luring in clients.

If I was you, I would ask her for your deposit back. Did you sign anything that said it was non-refundable? Did she have a contract? Most providers have a probationary period on their contracts where either party can walk away with in the first few weeks. But, as I said, being a newbie, she probably didn't do her homework and those things I just mentioned are non-existent.

I hate reading about issues like this because it gives all home daycare a bad name.

I hope you find a great daycare out there somewhere.

Judy Trickett
09-25-2012, 06:27 AM
Diamondmine........m aybe if you posted your city someone here might be able to set you on the path to finding a great provider in your city.

Judy Trickett
09-25-2012, 06:33 AM
Deposit cheque was cashed as well as this past week's care. Will have to keep sending him until I get new daycare which could be a week or maybe two weeks who knows. Since the deposit is cashed we will not be giving any more money and she "owes" two weeks care anyway.

This bothers me. And I will tell you why. I know that personally, if I am having problems with a client (THEY are the problem) and I know they are leaving my care then I will CASH their cheques outright so I know I have their money. By cashing the cheques outright (instead of tossing them in the ATM) it ensures their money is in my hand and they can not undermine me and cancel the cheque etc and leave me having provided care and not having been paid.

My point is, that when someone cashes a cheque that makes me wonder why they felt the need to get money IN HAND as an assurance. Either they are worried you are not gonna hold up your end of the bargain or they don't intend to hold up theirs. You know?

kidlove
09-25-2012, 08:21 AM
I WOULD call those other Day Cares for another "chance". If they are good people they will welcome you with open arms. All you need to do is let them know you may have made a mistake at choosing a proper provider....if they have any reasonable understanding they will do just that...understand and give you a second interview.(who knows, they may have thought they lost a "good one" when you called to say, you were going somewhere else) You are not the only parent who has to make a few moves before finding the right Day Care. :) You live and learn, and hopefully with the next one you will know MORE of what to look for, doesn't mean you won't hit a road block or two but you should be better off because of this situation.
Good for you for giving this woman the chance to finish her contract with your son....says a lot about your charactor. I do believe that he is not in "poor" care, otherwise you wouldn't have chosen her in the first place...things just didn't pan out as expected (on both your parts) but it is really great that you and her can work things out for the next few weeks.
Sometimes it really does just boil down to "not a good fit", IF she really doesn't have a job lined up, I do have to say "shame on her"....never lie! doesn't get you anywhere, she should have just come out and told you things weren't working out! (if thats the truth)
I have to add though, although you could have a great outcome with a "new" provider the next time around, I do put myself in others shoes (and in your shoes) I would go for a provider who shares the same beliefs as you, understands you when you talk, you agree with ALL her rules and regulations, of course...you have a "good feeling" about, AND last but not least...due to the fact that you are "new" to Day Care as well....I would look for a Provider who has done care for a while, someone who has alot of families "under their belt" (maybe you can ask for references) and always look for OPEN and HONEST. Good Luck in your search.
ps. ultimately you can view this as a learning experience rather than a "mistake". The more you experience the more you learn!!!!

kidlove
09-25-2012, 08:29 AM
I dont know Judy, regarding "cashing the check right away"....it is possible that this provider literally cashed this check because the business wasn't "booming" as she expected (due to the families that pulled out) and she truley NEEDED the money to pay bills, almost willing to bet that money has been spent. And she doesn't have any coming in too fast, due to lack of clients. So, going back to get your money's worth, is just about the only option for this Mother.
"You can't get blood from a stone" if the money is gone...it's gone.

Sandbox Sally
09-25-2012, 08:53 AM
diamondmine, where are you located? Maybe one of us has room and is nearby. Worth a shot!

Judy Trickett
09-25-2012, 09:37 AM
I dont know Judy, regarding "cashing the check right away"....it is possible that this provider literally cashed this check because the business wasn't "booming" as she expected (due to the families that pulled out) and she truley NEEDED the money to pay bills, almost willing to bet that money has been spent. And she doesn't have any coming in too fast, due to lack of clients. So, going back to get your money's worth, is just about the only option for this Mother.
"You can't get blood from a stone" if the money is gone...it's gone.

Then why not just toss it in the bank machine or deposit it in your account. As far as banking is concerned there is a difference between "depositing" a cheque and "cashing" it. When you deposit the cheque it can still be cancelled within a certain time frame. But when you cash it is done and the payee can not get their funds back.

kidlove
09-25-2012, 10:33 AM
guess i didn't consider the difference.......may be she had to pay a bill with cash.....? not sure. :) perhaps she knows that little trick and can't afford to have it reversed for her to have to pay the parent back, so she cashed it, then deposited back into her account.

diamondmine
12-30-2012, 03:14 PM
Just thought I would update this post since it has been a few months.

The daycare provider that cancelled the contract and cashed our deposit cheque should have owed us two more weeks of care because she was paid by cashing the deposit cheque. Well, for the next two days she called me saying she was sick so I couldn't drop him off. The day after that, I showed up with him and stayed for a while. He of course was fussing/clingy and she kept saying "he really doesn't like it here", "he's going to have such a bad day", "are you sure you want to leave him here? I don't think he wants to stay" etc...Things to make me say "yeah, your right I'll just not go to work again today and stay home with him". It was clear she basically didn't want to take care of him in spite of the fact she had been paid for the next two weeks by cashing the two weeks deposit cheque. I'm not leaving him with a person who clearly at that point wanted nothing to do with him. He obviously by that time did not want to stay there either.

Thank God I have awesome parents who drove an hour each way for two weeks to take care of my son during the day so I wouldn't be fired from my job. I called a few of the other daycare providers we had first interviewed but one had filled her spot and the other isn't doing her startup daycare anymore because she didn't get enough kids. So we started looking around again. After interviewing anybody we could at this point that had space (about 5 interviews) we decided on one. He loves it there. The first week he fussed a bit at drop off but after that he was totally fine. He loved the other kids right from the start (no idea why he hated the other girl's daughter so much). I am so grateful there are normal people out there in this business!!

I'll also add that at the time she was supposed to be taking care of him they were just finishing building their new McMansion in the new sub-division a little ways from where they were living (she let me know at the start of his care that in a months time the daycare would be in the new house) The house they were currently living in had been on the market for a few months and still had not sold. She was planning on running a daycare to stay home with her daughter instead of going back to work. The old house as of today still has not sold so they have basically been paying for two houses for the past few months, and I have a very good feeling that they needed some money asap. So, I really do think she cashed my cheque without ever really intending on providing the care because she was going back to work. I realize that some situations can make otherwise good people do bad things, but still. Our new daycare provider has a 30 day grace period, where either party can cancel care if it isn't working out for any reason. After the 30 days the rules of the contract apply, which I think is a good idea.

Momof4
12-30-2012, 07:10 PM
Thanks for the update. I'm glad you have wonderful parents that were able to help you out and that you have found a good caregiver for your son. I'm also glad you didn't leave him with the other woman because it sounded like a scary situation and he might have been mistreated.

But did you get your money refunded because you should definitely send her a letter at the very least asking for your money back or you will contact your lawyer. It's terrible that this kind of person gives you a bad impression of our business so I'm glad you found someone who can renew your faith!

mimi
12-30-2012, 07:34 PM
So happy to hear your son is happy in his new daycare. So did you not receive any funds back from the first "provider"? To be honest, she's sounds like a goof and I am glad your son didn't spend more time with her. Thanks for the update. :)

diamondmine
12-30-2012, 08:31 PM
No, we never received any of the money back. I'm sure we could have "hounded" her for the money but in all honesty we had less than two weeks to find full time care and all our time was spent trying to find a new provider and scheduling meetings around our work hours and we were just really just too busy to spend any more of our time on her. We basically paid 600.00 for 5 days of care. Live and learn I guess.

And it doesn't really colour my view of daycare providers at all, this was just one person who wasn't cut out for it, was in a position where she wanted the money but didn't want to continue to provide service and was just overall kind of a flake I guess.

mimi
12-30-2012, 09:15 PM
As disappointing as this experience was for you and your husband, I admire your positive attitude. Thank you for not abandoning the idea of placing your child in the home daycare setting despite having a lousy first experience.
This woman stole money from you and if she had any ethics, she would have returned YOUR money to you. :mad:
Most importantly it sounds like your son is happy where he is so I hope you can go to work with the peace of mind knowing he is well cared for. :)