Parents not telling me when they are picking up!!!!!!

[kidlove]

I had a Mom drop off this am and inform me that her Husband would be picking their daughter up at 12. (there was a part of me that wanted to ask why, but she didn't devulge so I kept my mouth shut.) I go about my morning as usual, feed the baby, then put her down for a nap. Mom shows up (no call first) no warning....at 10 am. I am confused...I look at her when she walks in the door and say "hi, are you here to pick-up?" She (matter of fact) says..."yah" with a smile on her face. Mean time...I'm confused.
Do I have a right to ask, why she is leaving early? or do I just let her come in un-scheduled and take her child without so much as an explination?
Just seems odd to me. What would you do?:huh:

[Play and Learn]

Hey! That's awesome! I wish more parents would just pick-up randomly early like that! lol AND....you're getting paid! :laugh:

I would just casually ask her next time to give me a text message or a call to let me know when she'll be around to pick up, so that I can have their child ready.

[cdngirl]

At dropoff I definitely would have asked why they are picking up early in a friendly casual way. "Oh, how come?" with a smile. I like to know what is going on and I don't think it's being intrusive.
I think it is odd that there is no explanation offered at pickup and she was so nonchalant about it. I would expect an apology and story behind the early pickup! Could she have forgotten that she said 12 and meant to say 10?

[kidlove]

no dont think she forgot,when she picked up early I did make it a point to act a little "off", first thing I did was look at her in "surprise", then immediately after, said "oh ,thought you said Dad was picking up @ 12?". She then responded by saying "oh, he changed his mind"....so I said nothing and went about caring for the other children. (hopefully, she could tell I was a little bothered) because I was!

[mimi]

I wouldn't question her reason for picking up early no matter how curious you are. I get the impression she wants to be evasive so don't give her the satisfaction of asking. I would just let her know a heads up is always appreciated since you could be out with the children or in the middle of an activity that you wouldn't want to be interrupted by a cold pick up.

[kidlove]

my ONLY real concern was that yesterday the Dad said he wasn't feeling well, and the baby also has the sniffles and is congested. I was wondering if he could possibly be sick, considering yesterday he said nothing about early pick up and he was the one to drop off and pick up. Not to mention, I do consider it to be a little rude to not inform the Provider of what may be going on (as long as it pertains to day care) i.e., doctor appt, parent ill, days off work, whatever. just find it odd to say the least.

[apples and bananas]

I dream about parents walking through the door and givng me the rest of the day off... LOL

I would have just made a comment on how nice it will be for baby to spend time with mom. I love mommy days.... next time you're early, if you could just send me a quick txt or phone call to let me know so I can have her up and ready for you. :)

Or, is this a new parent? Are they dropping in to check up on you?

[kidlove]

Kind of wonder if they are checking up, which doesn't nes bother me, when she came I did ask her if she was coming to get her, or just stopping in because she was passing by, she "matter of factly" says "no, coming to pick-up!" a text or quick call would be the right thing for her to do IMO. and because she is a new parent I also dont want her to think she can make this a regular practice.

[sunnydays]

If she is a new parent my guess would be she is checking up and wanted to surprise you to be able to see what is really going on when you are not expecting her. I clearly tell parents they can do this as long as they take the child home as it is upsetting to the child if they come by and leave again. I did this when my kids were in daycare...how else as parents are we to know what is going on when we are not there? Calling ahead or texting would defeat the purpose. Personally, I would not ask a parent to call ahead necessarily, but would just say that they are welcome to come by as long as it isn't naptime and that if you are out at the park etc. they can always call you on your cell. As a parent, this would be immensely comforting. You have to remember how terrifying it is to leave your precious baby with a stranger all day...as parents I think it is our duty to drop-in unexpected on our daycare providers. I am not saying they should do it every day, but once in awhile. Just putting things in the parents' perspective.

[kidlove]

thanks for your input Sunny days and i do see your point absolutely, that's part of the reason I posted...because I wanted to know if I was just being "too controlling" or worrying too much? although, this is not the first time I have felt a little "slighted" by them, mostly the Mother. She just doesn't communicate very openly, and I am more concerned that this is the way things will always be...once in a while in the beginning "pop ins" I understand. :)
This is the same Mom, who tells me she doesn't want her child going anywhere with me, can't take off work to pick up early when I have appt (and asks me to travel with her to drop off at her work) but picks up early out of the blue. Not the first time either, she has picked up a few times at 5pm when her pick up is 5:35. and showed up one day last week at 5 pm, the next day 4:30...i asked "do you have a different pick up time now" she just non-chalantly says: "no, just got off early". I can't help but get a little annoyed at her "free-will" to pick-up when ever. when I have appt's she give me a hard time on having to leave work early, or suggest I drive her daughter to her.....yet, doesn't want me transporting her daughter with me to the school bus or to pick my kids up from practice. Seems more to me like a case of "what's good for the goose, isn't good for the gander"....anyone else picking that up?

[mimi]

I disagree with allowing parents to drop in anytime. When choosing a provider the parents must do their due diligence ensuring they are placing their child in a safe and enriching environment. Ask for references and do call each parent - visit a few times, at different times (only for a short period) just to get the feel for the provider and the atmosphere he/she provides - offer to bring lunch and then eat it there with the group - make sure the provider has police check, child cpr, has smoke/carbon monoxide detectors/fire extinquishers installed and available - are book shelves secured to the walls - check out the childrens nap room- have a visit to meet the family etc.
I don't mind when a parent calls to check how their child is doing in transition or if feeling unwell. I just don't want the flow of my daycare interrupted by visiting parents. It undermines my influence with the children and is disruptive. A parent can tell if a provider is serious about the quality of their daycare they run or if it is a fly by the seat of your pants provider. Trust your gut instinct.

[kidlove]

Thanks Mimi, I do feel disrespected when they do this, kind of feel a little untrusted the way she pops-in with out calling first and responds when I ask about it, "as if she has every right to pop-in" unannounced. I have never had a parent do this to me...starting to make me feel annoyed and uncomfortable. Texted her after leaving today to ask if everything was okay, asked if her husband was felling well, haven't gotten a response, just confused.

[sunnydays]

Yes...I actually would NEVER place my child with a daycare provider who said I could not drop-in unannounced and pick up my child. As a parent, I do feel this is my right because that is MY PRECIOUS BABY I have left with you and it is my responsibility as a parent to ensure his/her safety and well-being. I loved my son's home daycare provider and felt I could trust her...but I also know that things are not always as they seem and one can never be too careful. I never disrespected her or asked her to change her routine...I just felt it was for my child's safety to drop-in once in awhile and pick him up early. Kidlove...have you ever had any of your chidlren in daycare? While I understand how you feel, I just relaly think we have to put ourselves in the shoes of parents...it doesn't mean she doesn't trust you or like you...she is just making sure her child is safe.

[kidlove]

no .....I NEVER trusted a single person with my kids except family. I totally understand the idea of wanting to check in on your child......it's just the unexpected that bothers me on my end. It just seems disrespectful to show up "as you please", this is also my home and I already feel a little invaded having the daycare run from my home, but makes it ten times worse, having people show up as they please. I have actually had people come in out side of schedule to get their kids when I was going number 2....those are the type situations that make me feel like, my personal home, is "run" by my day care parents.

[mimi]

My d/c parents can pick up their children anytime they like, just give me a heads up so I can wash the paint off my hands and I'm talking about 5 minutes notice. Nothing to hide, just asking for courtesy.

[Inspired by Reggio]

I have an open door policy for clients ~ they are more than welcome to come in for a visit or pick up whenever as long as it does not 'disrupt' the program ... some children can handle the 'impromptu' visits and leaving again or changes in routine and others cannot and if a clients child is having trouble with them trying to be impromptu I address it on an individual basis verses a blanket policy.

I do encourage children to arrive before 9 am so that we can get on about our day and discourage unplanned pick ups before 3 because they are sleeping and waking a child can be disruptive to everyones sleep and I do not want to do that unless it is NECESSARY for a Dr appointment or something .... however if they 'choose' to do drop off later or pick up early I do explain to them that the risk is that they will arrive to an empty house cause we've gone somewhere for the morning and we leave by 9am, they may arrive to a child whose just started something new program wise and is not willing to leave as a result so they will be 'late' getting out of here and if they are 'willing' to take that risk than fine otherwise if you give me a heads up I can prepare the child to be ready for you so that you can exit smoothly. Again if a problem ensues with a particular client I handle it on a case by case basis of 'this is not working for the program or for your child and this is what I need to make it work' type thing.

IF she is new I would just explain to her the value of 'routine' for children and that while you want to encourage them to come whenever that you hope they will understand that they risk you having just put her down for a nap or what not and a quick text or phone call could help ensure she is not 'stressed' by the change in her routine.

[Crayola kiddies]

I ask for a minute or two also but even if they don't and just walk in I don't care ... I do have a couple of kids that throw a fit when the parents come so it's easier to have them ready to go at the door if I have the notice ... It's a nicer pick up for the parents too ....
When my kids were in daycare I never just dropped in cause I was at work .... I didn't have the option to just go out for a drive and check up on my kid .... When I was done work I picked up my kid ....

[playfelt]

I have a you can come when you want but the front door will be locked so you must ring the bell and wait for me to answer it. If I take too long and you are concerned well not my problem. I will not let just anyone walk into the home since first it is my home and second I am alone and responsible for the kids myself so need to know who is coming and going at all times.

[Momof4]

Well, why the heck did she only bring her child for a couple of hours? Why not just give you the day off completely? It does sound very odd and suspicious to me too. I don't mind when parents pick up their child early but I want them to tell me about it. And it's only common courtesy for them to say something like, oh I have a doctor's appointment or whatever the reason. Good grief!

Also, if a parent had surprised us at 10am for picking up their child they would have to track us down at a park because we aren't always here so they would be out of luck. I always tell parents in the morning where we are going and when we will be back home just in case this ever happens.

I lock my door too and agree completely with playfelt's post.

[mimi]

Agreed, after the last am drop off, the locks are turned

[daycarewhisperer]

I love it when they come early to pick up. I allow one arrival, one departure, per parent, per child, per day so if the parent comes at an unscheduled time they MUST depart with the child. I don't do two parent arrivals, two parent departures, one child arrrival, one child departure. It must be one each per day.

I keep my doors locked and have external cameras. If I see the parent in the driveway I gather the kid, ready them to leave, then answer the door WITH the child in hand and hand them off immediately. I say "yay Mommy came early... you guys are going to have some extra Mommy time today" :wave:

[kidlove]

okay, got a hold of Mom over text last night. asked her if everything was okay? she text back and said "sorry just got your message when I got home I went straight to bed, just got up" I asked if they are both sick? (these are things a provider NEEDS to know, in order to protect kids in care) she responds by saying "yes, hubby and i are both ill, have what daughter brought home from your house" what????? uh no one has been ill here, besides a "sniffle", she is blaming me for their illness and the baby's. uuuuuuugggg! i am getting tired of this woman. why do parents always blame the daycare? I know a lot of people right now who have a bad cold/influenza like sickness....NONE of them attend my daycare. Can't they "get" that you can pick up an illness anywhere, like work, grocery store, friends, public places, THE AIR!!!! why is it the Day Care, she goes further to tell me "Husband hasn't taken a sick-day in 7 years" now......we have our first day care sick ness (her words) I am fumming! Not to mention...will be ticked if we get it! which WE didn't "have" in the first place. These ones are going as soon as I find a replacement!!!!

[Momof4]

okay, got a hold of Mom over text last night. asked her if everything was okay? she text back and said "sorry just got your message when I got home I went straight to bed, just got up" I asked if they are both sick? (these are things a provider NEEDS to know, in order to protect kids in care) she responds by saying "yes, hubby and i are both ill, have what daughter brought home from your house" what????? uh no one has been ill here, besides a "sniffle", she is blaming me for their illness and the baby's. uuuuuuugggg! i am getting tired of this woman. why do parents always blame the daycare? I know a lot of people right now who have a bad cold/influenza like sickness....NONE of them attend my daycare. Can't they "get" that you can pick up an illness anywhere, like work, grocery store, friends, public places, THE AIR!!!! why is it the Day Care, she goes further to tell me "Husband hasn't taken a sick-day in 7 years" now......we have our first day care sick ness (her words) I am fumming! Not to mention...will be ticked if we get it! which WE didn't "have" in the first place. These ones are going as soon as I find a replacement!!!!

I certainly hope you are advertising to replace this family kidlove. If not, get started! What idiots! Oops, did I say that out loud?