What would you do?

[kidlove]

I have posted several times regarding a "difficult" parent. I have a Mother who seems to try and "butt heads" with me at every turn. She is a new Mom, her daughter has been with me for about 4 months now. I first met her when she was pregnant, very quiet, very nice, little to say, and when we first met she seemed really happy with the way I ran things. After meeting a few times and talking over the phone through out the end of her pregnancy, I felt pretty good (although in the back of my head, something always seemed a little off) her moods have never been easy to pin point. She tends to stay very quiet, watching me more than talking herself, but when she does put in her two cents, it seems quite opinionated. She seems to "know" a lot, when talking to her about her baby, ...I get a lot of "i know" or "we tried that". I sense she is not interested in what i have to say. (she's become difficult to say the least)
I have posted about her not wanting me to take her child in my vehicle (when I ask) but she asks me to drop her off to her rather than leave work early (if I have an appt) heres the kicker: when I asked to take her I informed her I had a infant seat, she was uncomfortable with my car seat, BUT when I had an appt and she asked me to drive her daughter into her place of work, she told me I could use the seat belt and wrap it through the top of the seat rather than use the base. confused!
She has showed up a number of times early to pick-up, a few have been about 30 to 40 minutes, one time she came about 1.5 hours early and today she did the, "hubby will be there at 12" and showed up at 10 am. No call ahead and no reason for picking up. I feel I should have known both.
It seems to me like she wants to be in control and no one else. and I can't get over the seeming "lack of communication". Something is off here, and really bothering me. Put yourself in my position...what would you do?:no::no::no:

[Dayhome Mamma]

I'd post an ad for a new client. If she wants to micromanage and control you by "peeking in " early, than she is obviously not trusting you and should stay home with her own kid. And she will probably do this with the next dayhome/daycare too....not worth wasting your energy on. This job is hard enough. Find people that trust you and the care you provide. We all should be appreciated for what we do.

[Momof4]

Ditto what Dayhome Mamma said, start advertising and as soon as you have a replacement give them notice for breach of contract or tell them that it isn't working out due to lack of trust in your abilities.

[Judy Trickett]

Yep, I would advertise, fill the spot and then give her an adios amigo! Seriously, parents need to work WITH us, not against us.

[Sandbox Sally]

That makes me sad. I sincerely HATE when parents act this way - especially when they're new parents, and we actually DO know more than they do.

[apples and bananas]

I understand the occasional early drop in or random phone call in the first week or two, but by 4 months there should be a much higher level of trust. She needs to move on to someone else.

Sorry it's not working out, it sucks when we go to all of this work to transition a child only to have to terminate once they become comfortable. Then you have to start all over again.

No one needs this kind of micro management, especially when you work for yourself!

All the best finding a client to fill the spot.

[mimi]

I always feel uncomfortable with people whose moods are unpredictable. I had a d/c mom that was soooo nice one day and then the next day, just mean. Please do yourself a favour and find a new family for your daycare.

[kidlove]

Thankyou so much for your input, makes me feel "normal". I was wondering if I was just being too defensive in thinking that I wanted to replace this "mother" ha, not the Dad and not the Child, just the Mom. I have been here before, was just talking to my husband this am about it, been here with two other Mom's in the past, and they didn't work out, as a matter of fact, I confronted them both regarding their "attitudes" and "lack of trust", one quit her job and stayed home (graduated from medical transcription school-which i suggested for her to try:)) and the other....."screamed" her way out of my house, and I "continued to sweep the floor"...glad when she left. Just so sad to think, the kid is so great, but the Mom is a major witch. Will replace as soon as I find another child. UUUUUGGGH!!!!! thanks guys!

[Sandbox Sally]

I actually confronted a mom last year about her attitude and her expectations. I told her that I had to terminate care, as I was not able to meet her needs, and that maybe she might do better with a nanny situation. It was not a minute later that she called me, and apologized, and literally begged me to keep her daughter in my care. From then on in, she was soooooo nice to me, even to the point of after we moved away, sending us a housewarming gift in the mail. :) Sometimes communication is key in these situations, and once they realize how they're coming across, and how ridiculous some of the things are that they are asking of us, they are jolted into acting like normal respectable human beings.

[kidlove]

Thanks alpha, do love the baby and can tolerate the Dad, but in my experience...bad relationship with the Mom is a no go! I will definitely talk with her soon regarding working things out first, but an for sure ready to let this one go as soon as something else comes along. This Mom wants to argue at every turn, and this is MY BUSINESS da** it! Drives me nuts to "cringe" when a parent comes, cuz I just don't like them. :(