Just a part of the job? or....

[Lou]

So Mom drops 2 yrs old boy off this morning stating she had a horrible morning with him with a lot of tears and grumpiness- he woke up at 4:30am or didn't go back to sleep!
We had a planned outing this morning so after morning snack we loaded up and went out and after about 45 min at our destination, dcb started crying on and off and generally just not enjoying himself. We sat down for lunch while out and he literally took one bite and cried through lunch. I'm talking 2 hours of off and on crying with no consoling him. While I felt for him, it was seriously incredibly annoying at the same time.

A few thoughts...
1) I don't feel I should have had to keep the children home from our scheduled outing that they were looking forward to, because he woke up early.

2) I didn't want to put him down for a morning nap because I work a very hard day and if he had a morning nap then I would lose out on my lunch hour which is very dear to me, plus he would likely wake up all the other children in the process making for a house of grumpy gooses.

3) I have in my illness policy that if a child is unable to participate in the day due to illness then he or she is required to be picked up for a day of rest at home. However, this child is not ill (though Mom suspects he is getting his 2 yrs molars), so I don't know if I have grounds to suggest he stay home on days where he is going to be overtired.

What do you think?? Do I just suck it up on days like this, or would you let Mom know that perhaps staying home on days when your child is overly exhausted is best for everyone as he is not able to participate fully in our daily plan? It's too late for today, I have him asleep upstairs (though he cries out occasionally in his sleep...omg ladies you should here his cry it's like nails on a chalkboard) and his pick up is at 3:30, this is just for future reference.

[sunnydays]

I've often wondered about this too...it has happened to me way too often! I don't know why all these kids wake up at 4 or 5 am so often...my own kids sleep until 8 am! They come, they are overtired and grumpy and it makes the day hard. But then, I feel I would be making them stay home at least once or twice a week!

[kidlove]

I actually have listed in my contracts "up through the night" as a "no go" regarding "sick" policy....however, I probly would have taken him just like you did, considering he is not already ill. (or so you know) he very well could be coming down with something and show symptoms by tonight or tomorrow. I would def check in on him this weekend to make sure he doesn't show up on monday with a bug.
Not sure if I would have done anything dif than you, however...depending on the time he was dropped off, I would have insisted he go to bed for a while...1) because he was ill behaved for momma in the morning and I continue with the way the day begins i.e. bad behavior has consiquences. and 2)given you had the outing planned....he needed to be rested for many reasons, safety and behavior at the top of the list.
The only other thing I can think of is to request to parents to please MAKE SURE their child is WELL RESTED and prepared for future "pre-planned" outings, for the benefit of all involved. :)

[Sandbox Sally]

Yeah, it's kind of hard for parents to take time off due to their kid waking up early. Most people don't have the luxury of calling in with the excuse of tired kid.

I say, bummer luck, but I think sometimes we just have to suck it up and try to have a reasonable day.

[playfelt]

Not sure what outing you were doing but sometimes when I hear of some of the trips that daycare providers are taking I really wonder if the trip is for the kids or the caregiver and if the child is actually getting enough out of the trip or if something less structured would serve them better. Not saying outings are bad just that they can be very stressful for the kids depending on how long they are. Probably under the circumstances would have called the trip early and gone home after the activity and not done the lunch part. Chances are he would have gone down right at arrival and slept for an hour before leaving and doubt that that would have effected his afternoon nap because of the energy used on the outing. Was child walking or in a stroller for the 45 minutes. Find it hard to believe he didn't fall asleep in the stroller.

[Lou]

I know what you mean about taking a day off because the child is overtired...that why I'm torn about this! But he is acting exactly how he would if he was sick with fever, crying on and off, not eating and affecting the whole mood of the day. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a monster! I gave him plenty of cuddles and hugs but I find it hard to change the whole plan for the day based on one child. I also think he might be coming down with something, the way he keeps crying out in his sleep :(
Playfelt- Our destination was a local Early Years Centre that does open playgroup for home daycaregivers only on Friday mornings so it isn't structured, and the children can engage in whichever centre they please. It was a 10 min drive there, but then once inside no, he wasn't in a stroller (was never in a stroller actually). We eat lunch there to prevent the kids who may fall asleep on the way home from going without lunch. And we did cut it early by an hour! I didn't think about putting him down for a sleep as soon as he arrived, but come to think of it, it wouldn't work anyways because he arrives at 8am and we leave the house to take my daughter and my other before school child to the bus stop at 8:15 :(

[kidlove]

Sounds like you were up sh** creek! :) Hay lets put it this way....He has to be sleeping now right? the fact that he is up and crying and back to sleep, seriously leads me to believe ..he IS going to be sick soon! I would def call over the weekend to check on him and mention to Mom he seems to be a little off, may need extra "watch out" for illness. (whenever kids are like that before the weekend, I ask the parent to please call by sunday to let me know how they are doing) ;)

so wish I had a indoor park like that where I live...sounds like a blast for the kids!!!!

[cfred]

I'm with Playfelt. I tend to have a lot of flexibility surrounding outings. If it's looking like it's just not going to work out that day, then we postpone or cut it a bit shorter. Usually, the other kids are pretty good about it and we might have something special at home....maybe a favourite movie all wrapped up in a blanket, a favourite craft, what have you. In addition, I've always found it helpful to keep outings short and sweet....couple hours tops. I'm of the belief that taking kids, even when they're tired and cranky is actually part of our job. Our job is to care for the kids so the parents can go to work and earn a living....even on the crappy days. Outings are fantastic, but secondary to the real purpose of our jobs. If it was a preschool, I would absolutely agree with the child staying home as that's a half day and a parent's job isn't reliant on that. However, we're here to do mum's job when she can't. As we know from raising our own children, sometimes it sucks more than a little bit some days.

I have had that happen in the past as well. Sometimes, just putting the little guy down for a very short nap (30 mins or so) is just enough to refresh him to get through the morning without effecting the afternoon nap.

[Lou]

I will definitely try the "put him down for a quick rest before our outing" trick next time before it works out. Of course, I have flexibility with our outings too and in my defense I had toys due back to the toy library today (in the same centre), AND he was acting fine here at the house before we left. And for the record we were only there for 1hr 30 min!
I'm all for doing my job and taking care of cranky kids (we all have bad days!), but crying continuously non stop seems a bit more than just being tired. Poor bugger :(

[Lou]

awwwww he woke up at 100.9 crying :( Poor muffin. I knew it seemed beyond just being tired :(

[Inspired by Reggio]

I have a section of my illness policy to cover this worded like this



Communicable Illnesses
.... Due to the flexible nature of our schedule and routines my general requirement for attendance when under the weather is that children need to be to cope within the program, with minimal impact on the other children’s enjoyment, in order to attend.

Children may not participate, and will be required to be temporarily removed, if any of the following diseases and/or symptoms develops:
followed by a list of communicable diseases that the health unit requires exclusion for

I admit that if I had already discussed an outing with the other children that they were looking forward to and a client arrived with a child who was 'under the weather' but not out right needing to stay home for sure I still would have gone on the outing as well cause I agree it is not fair to upset the apple cart of 4 other paying clients because 1 clients child did not sleep properly ~ this is group care and we have to balance the needs of the group while trying to meet the needs of the individual! I would have given the parents a heads up 'Well we will try the planned trip and if they are not coping I will give you a call' ... and than played it by ear if we needed to cut it short or if I needed to send the child home or not either from the outing or back at home ... typically in my experience children generally perk up by the distractions at daycare unless they are truly not well!

I will also admit that while I have a policy stating that I WILL send home a child who is not participating because I want that option to be clear for parents as a possibility ~ I have not yet done it cause I truly hate sending children home unless they have a fever / vomiting / diarrhea and so forth .... they would have to really really not be coping ~ aka I would have to have tried every trick in my book to make help time so if holding them does not console them at all or putting them down for an extra nap does not work or they are screaming type crying verses just moaning / whiny ... I have always been lucky at being able to distract children who are just tired / teething and if it has been more than that than the fever usually pops up and I can send them home for that reason verse the not coping part.

Hope he wakes from his nap in better spirits!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Opps ~ you posted while I was posting ~ poor thing!

[daycarewhisperer]

awwwww he woke up at 100.9 crying :( Poor muffin. I knew it seemed beyond just being tired :(

He was most likely given a fever reducer before he arrived and it wore off during nap. Theres a REALLY good chance the parent knowingly sent a sick child to your home with medication on board. The "up early in the morning" info is often enough to let you know to keep an extra eye on the child without coming clean about the illness. Now you will need to be on alert that the other kids and you have been exposed.

[Play and Learn]

I know what you mean about taking a day off because the child is overtired...that why I'm torn about this! But he is acting exactly how he would if he was sick with fever, crying on and off, not eating and affecting the whole mood of the day. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a monster! I gave him plenty of cuddles and hugs but I find it hard to change the whole plan for the day based on one child. I also think he might be coming down with something, the way he keeps crying out in his sleep :(


I haven't read through the responses, but here's mine:

As quoted from my manual:


If the child cannot participate in the daily activities of daycare, then the child will be sent home.
I would have sent the child home with his random crying. Why should you stop your daily plans for this one child?

[Momof4]

Lou, I hope you called the parents immediately and had him go home. I agree with the poster who said they probably medicated him and brought him to daycare and that would make me so mad. I tell parents not to do that because as soon as the fever comes back they are going to have to leave work anyway and come get their child so why not take the whole day off.

I've cancelled trips to the park before when a child or sometimes two are feeling crappy with colds and try to do what's best for all of the children that way. But it's ok to be flexible and stay home sometimes. Our park and library visits always take between 10-20 minutes to walk and I think getting there and back is part of the fun because we talk all the time about everything we see along the way and I consider it learning time for them. But if the children have runny noses and congestion and I can't send them home but I know they don't feel well enough for that, then we stay in for an easy day.

[Toregone]

I have sent a child home for crying once. His drop off time was about 8am and by 11:30 he was still crying. This was the 2nd day in a row of this behaviour so I called the mom and said I am unable to properly care for the other children, please come get him. He wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't play. She was PISSED and in fact informed me when she picked up that she "would not take time off work again for something as trivial as crying". Pretty much told me to suck it up and deal.

Sometimes you just have to do it as it's too disruptive to the other children in the program.

[cfred]

I'm not sure if this helps at all, with the problem of a child feeling crummy.....

I have right in my contract that if a child is feeling ill, has teething pain, what have you, I'll always try to contact a parent to discuss medicating. However, if I'm unable to reach anyone, I have the parent's automatic permission to use my own judgement and medicate should I deem it necessary to ease a child's discomfort until he/she can be picked up, be it early or at the end of the day. I always have baby and junior Advil and Tylenol, Tempra drops, children's Gravol and Benedryl. So far, I've not had an issue with anyone on this matter and they've all said they're happy with that scenario....seemed relieved actually as they wouldn't be called early from work so often. Typically, if a child's not quite right, the parents will mention it to me and verify they're ok with me administering whatever meds are necessary. I generally only make kids stay home for vomiting, diarrhea, fever of 101 and up, strep, pox, head lice, impatego (sp?) and those sorts of things. If I didn't let them in with colds and such, I might never see them all winter!

For the record, I think it's pretty crap that a parent would drop a medicated child without telling you. Not cool in my opinion. I've had parents do that too which was awful for me and the daycare kids. Not to mention that I took my kids to Spain the following week (a trip they knew of months in advance) during which we all got sick and passed it to my sister and her husband who went with us. Dad claimed to not realize it was contagious though his whole family got it. There were choice words :)

Sorry you had such a crummy day. Hope next week is better....and hope you don't get what he's got!

[Momof4]

cfred, I never medicate a child. I won't do it! It's in my contract that parents shouldn't medicate and bring a child to daycare and that I only administer from a physican prescribed medicine.

If you use the reasoning that medicating with a pain or fever reliever is only masking a symptom of a greater problem the parents can't argue with that. The parents are responsible for getting to the root of the problem, not us. We must use our best judgement because we get to know the children so well because we spend 40ish hours a week with them, but it's up to the parents to make sure their children are healthy.

[cfred]

I agree to a point Momof4. However, sometimes a cold is just a cold, a fever is just a fever and teething pain is just teething pain. I've always medicated when necessary, both with daycare kids and my own. We've still been able to spot bigger problems while allowing the medication to make the child more comfortable. If a fever continues to return after tylenol has worn off, then we understand there's a likelihood of infection and the child likely needs a doctor's visit, but it sure made the wait to get the prescription a lot more comfortable for the little guy. Everyone who medicates to relieve discomfort recognize that's it's also important to allow the meds to wear off to monitor the progress. And what to do in the case of a child spiking a very high fever and being unable to get an early pick up? I had a kid who woke up with a temp of 104 and I couldn't reach the parents or emergencies. That's approaching dangerous and I think not medicating could have made the problem worse. I dont' medicate for everything, but won't hesitate if it's needed.

[daycarewhisperer]

Lou, I hope you called the parents immediately and had him go home. I agree with the poster who said they probably medicated him and brought him to daycare and that would make me so mad. I tell parents not to do that because as soon as the fever comes back they are going to have to leave work anyway and come get their child so why not take the whole day off.

Not on a Friday. Friday is one of the riskiest days to receive sick kids. The parents have nothing to loose by dopeing and dropping. You can't prove it and any exclusion won't extend until Monday.

[playfelt]

And Friday is one of the hardest days for someone to take off from work without proof of a real need since it is just assumed they wanted a long weekend.

[Lou]

I absolutely called them and he was picked up right away. I didn't consider that he may have been medicated before drop off but it makes total sense as he became worse and worse throughout the morning. I would never call a parent out on it because it's true, we can't prove it but I can not for the life of me understand why a parent would do such a thing to their poor child?! Not to mention all the other kids who have now been exposed.
Mom texted me later that night after a long visit at the walk in clinic that the little guy has an ear infection and that she apologizes that I had to deal with that today. I choose to believe her this time...we'll see if it happens again!!!