View Full Version : I know it's for the best, but I still feel guilty :(
My son is 27 months and has always been a challenge from day one. I started up the daycare when he was 17 months, and a year later he still has more difficult days than easy going days. He is very reactive and has a very hard time sharing his home space and his Mommy.
I think he would benefit SO much from going to a quality childcare program away from home 2 days per week. This would give him a chance to have space away from home in a new exciting and neutral environment and help him learn to respect boundaries from a different set of adults instead of mama 24/7 whose buttons he knows how to push at every turn (Note: He's still a challenge, but is incredibly easier to deal with outside of daycare hours and weekends). It would also offer me a break away, while knowing he's in good hands and I can better focus on the children in my care instead of constantly having to be disciplining and preventing aggressive and meltdown behaviours.
I can't help but feel guilty like I'm 'sending him away' :( I know he'll love it and have fun and have new learning experiences, but I'm home afterall so shouldn't I be the one taking care of him??? In the long run I think it will be good for us both, but I'm struggling coming to terms with it I think.
This morning was so intense that I ended up with 1/2 hr of contractions :(
I'd love some feedback, as to what you ladies think of all this. Thank you!
Wonderwiper
10-02-2012, 02:07 PM
Don't feel guilty!!! My daughter is 2 1/2 and I plan to enroll her in preschool 2 days per week once she is 3! She is in no way difficult but I think it is important for her to understand that sometimes there is another authority figure than Mommy! I also think it will make the transition to full time school easier!!
sunnydays
10-02-2012, 02:12 PM
Don't feel bad! I out my son in a morning preschool program last year when he was three...partly I wanted him to have the experience, but also I will admit that I really needed a break! He has always been a challenge for me...my daughter has her moments, but is not nearly as intense. Now my son is in school full-time and my days are sooooo much easier! I have sometimes felt bad even sayign that, but I work hard at it and he still is constantly causing me stress...I think he gets bored really easily and then the boredom turns into bad beahviour. Do what you need to ease your stress and don't feel bad! A less-stressed mommy will be better for him too!
Yes, you work from home however you are not just at home. It is wonderful you are expanding his world to include different friends, experiences and teacher. That is what a parent is supposed to do. Good for you for realizing this.
kidlove
10-02-2012, 02:16 PM
Sounds like he a little "pistol". :) My son was too, gave me a run for my money. Don't beat yourself up, it is the right thing to do! He NEEDS to know that it's not always you, and he needs to learn to fourish in a "neutral" environment, it will only do good for you and him both. because you also need a break from him. (nothing wrong with that) I have had many stay at home mom's come to me for one or two day a week "socialization" care. (which in turn is...I need a break and he needs to learn to breath with out me) :) your doing the right thing.
michellesmunchkins
10-02-2012, 02:22 PM
Don't feel guilty at all. My son is 6 now and he went to a different daycare than home from 2-3.5 and he loved it! It was the best decision for him. Many kids benefit from being away from Mom for a few hours a day. Its natural to feel like you are sending him away but sounds like its a good idea for both of you. There is nothing wrong with needing a break from our own children. Its human :)
Bookworm
10-02-2012, 02:26 PM
Don't feel guilty at all! My daughter is 3 and I've been sending her to preschool for a full day two days a week since April. She gives me a run for my money the other three days a week she is here. She is just bored as all my dck's are younger than her. Some days I wish I could send her full time! :) If I didn't send her for those two days, I think I would go crazy, and so would she! It's good for them to get a break from us and the daycare. I plan on doing the same thing with my son once he is a bit older. He is used to the daycare as I've been running it since he was 11 months old, but I do want him to get used to being away from me as he is a bit of a mama's boy (unfortunately).
dodge__driver11
10-02-2012, 02:49 PM
Hey Lou,
There is nothing to feel bad about, my son LOVES IT!~ wouldn't change it for the world!
cfred
10-02-2012, 04:14 PM
There's nothing to feel guilty about at all. I sent my son to daycare when I was pregnant with my third. He was almost 18 mos at the time, has ADHD and was, I swear, in 10 places at once. The daycare even asked me to bring him every other day because he made his provider cry :( Aside from distressing his provider, it was a great experience! He had a blast, I got a break and the new baby got some bonding time. Don't feel bad....it's a great idea and he'll love it!
cfred
10-02-2012, 04:15 PM
And may I add that I'm eternally grateful that my children are now 14, 16 and 21. I loved the young years, but I can get my fix with daycare kidlets....then send them HOME and pour a glass of wine :)
KingstonMom
10-02-2012, 07:38 PM
Im in the same boat, Lou. Im sending my 2.5 yr old son to another daycare starting later this month. Just two days a week as well. He is everything you have described. Mama 24/7. My husband gets home and doesnt know how I get anything done with him glued to my side.
Glad to read the others' posts on here, it kinda eaased my mind that Im not ditching him for selfish reasons. Im sure he will love it too!
You ladies have NO idea how much better you made me feel about this!! Thank you all SO MUCH! :flower: