What should I do? Income vs. sanity

[Starshine]

I'm feeling so conflicted. I have two after-school siblings that are disrespectful, extremely hyper and very stressful to deal with. I really don't like having them here. That being said, right now they represent 1/3 of my income. I have been advertising and interviewing for a month and I can't get anyone signed on. If I terminate these siblings, I will be okay financially, my bills will get paid, but no extras, no savings, etc. I have had these kids for 4 weeks and they are really stressing me out, I just want them gone. Tonight I asked my own child how he felt about all the kids here and he named the two siblings and said he would be happier without them here, and I know that's true. Aside from the money, my other concern is how it's going to look if I terminate them. I'm concerned that my reputation may suffer. I'm also concerned that since I will be at doing pick-up at the school for another child every day, I will see these two siblings there and it might be awkward, especially if one of their parents ends up having to pick them up. I keep saying I'll try one more day with them, or one more week, but I'm just done. They are draining me and it's impacting my relationship with my own child and with the other daycare kids. WWYD?

[jazmic]

Just wondering if you have addressed the situation with the parents. If not, that would be the first course of action. Tell them the behaviours that they are showing that need to improve. If there's no improvement by such and such date, then you wouldn't be able to continue to provide care for them. That would put them on notice and give them a chance to improve. And who knows? They just might, and you could be able to keep your income. If not, I definitely vote for sanity over income. You only get one life and you only live once. Don't settle for putting up with this for the money. It would be tight for a while, but you know what they say... money can't buy happiness, right? :)

[Starshine]

Just wondering if you have addressed the situation with the parents. If not, that would be the first course of action. Tell them the behaviours that they are showing that need to improve. If there's no improvement by such and such date, then you wouldn't be able to continue to provide care for them. That would put them on notice and give them a chance to improve. And who knows? They just might, and you could be able to keep your income. If not, I definitely vote for sanity over income. You only get one life and you only live once. Don't settle for putting up with this for the money. It would be tight for a while, but you know what they say... money can't buy happiness, right? :)

Yes, I address the issue every day with the parent. Unfortunately she thinks her kids' sh*t don't stink, if you know what I mean. But yes, I think if I were okay with terminating, I should definitely give her and them that chance to improve and give them a date.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Yes, I address the issue every day with the parent. Unfortunately she thinks her kids' sh*t don't stink, if you know what I mean.....

I am willing to work with just about any behaviour of a child as long as the parent shares my values and goals for their child so that there is an 'end' in sight of the behaviour because we are all working to resolve it ~ so in this case it sounds like the mother is NOT on board with correcting the childrens behaviours and working WITH you in which case the behaviour is either going to take FOREVER to change due to the inconsistency or it might NEVER change because at the age they are now they know 'mama wont back this person up and mama's opinion is the only one that counts at this time in their life'.

I would give them ONE last chance by explaining the above through a written behaviour and guidance warning contract that they have to sign ~ basically say XYZ are a deal breaker behaviour for me and if we are not working together to help the child learn it needs to STOP by doing ABC when the behaviour is presented in program than care will be ending on X date and give them a notice period for with to do such ~ however based on the 'my kids shit don't stink' observation be prepared for them to BOLT on you so if you do not work with a 'security deposit' that requires them to give proper notice or forfeit it make sure you give them letter and have the discussion after you've been PAID for any service rendered already!

I will also share that A) this is why I do not like working with this age group because they tend to be VERY challenging between the behaviours they see at school being role played in daycare or parents like this who are actually raising little asshats who have no accountability or respect for rules and B) accepting a school age child into my program who did not 'grow up' in my program or my own children's school in which case you'd KNOW them to some extent it would be a read flag to me to investigate for the first place cause unless they are new to the neighborhood and school I would want to know what 'happened with the last care arrangement that is requiring them to look for new arrangement' kwim?

Cause given what you are experiencing chances are if these children are ill mannered they have been terminated from care before OR the mother pulled them from a program because she felt her kids were being made to have 'unrealistic expectations' :rolleyes:

[Cocoon]

If you will be OK. finically then I would say let them go. Especially, if their behaviour is stressing you and your child. It is already effecting you and in no time you won't like having a day home in your house and this will affect your business and finances as you might want to close down cause you worn yourself. It's really not worth the stress so let them go. Meanwhile, keep looking to fill your spots which I'm sure you will do that regardless of me saying :) good luck.

[Lou]

Absolutely let them go, it is NOT worth the stress trust me!
I like the idea of having a discussion with the parents tonight (or send a note home) outlining that this is their final warning before termination due to behaviour. Mention that it is becoming too disruptive to the group as a whole and program that you run. Give examples of the behaviours that will not be tolerated anymore, and see what happens! They may terminate immediately (yay!) or this might light a fire under the parents ass and they just may begin to address the behaviour at home finally. Either way, you've given them you're warning and do NOT have to put up with it anymore. Good luck!! Please keep us posted!

[BrightEyes]

I would terminate and although it *may* be slightly awkward when you see them at the school, I personally wouldn't let it bother me knowing that I brought the issues to their mother's attention many times and tried to work with them but in the end you had to do what is best for you, your family and your daycare!

[Starshine]

Thanks ladies, I think I am going to write some sort of warning letter, I'm just trying to figure out when to give it to her so I don't get screwed financially. They are paid up until Friday the 12th. I have a postdated cheque dated for Monday the 15th, that is for care from the 15th-26th. I don't have a deposit.

[Starshine]

I guess I could either give her the letter on Tuesday, that way if they split, I still have that week's pay.

Or I could wait and give the letter on the 15th, that would give me two weeks pay if they choose not to come back.

Hmm...

[Crayola kiddies]

Give it to her on the 15th but throw the cheque in the instant teller the evening before (after hours). That way you have your two weeks !

[jazmic]

Give it to her on the 15th but throw the cheque in the instant teller the evening before (after hours). That way you have your two weeks !

That's what I would do too.

[daycaremom9]

I would terminate. I have been in the same position when I serviced out of school clients which I don't do anymore. I have also had a client who left my daycare whose sister-in-law continued to come to my daycare after her sister-in-law left. I think people understand that circumstances change and these parents at the school have no idea, for the most part, what the situation was that led to the child not being at my daycare any longer. But the most important thing is your sanity so I wouldn't hesitate terminating if it is disrupting your life.

[Momof4]

My unwritten rule for myself is that the parents must work with me to solve any problem that arises and if I can see that they are working with me I'll keep trying until I reach my limit. I hate to terminate families because that means interviewing and transitioning a newbie again which are my least favourite things. However, when we reach our limit we know it and it's so important to be happy and as stress free as possible because we have a really hard job to do every day and we work looooooong hours.