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mamaof4
04-19-2011, 05:44 PM
do you allow this? A few homes I have interviewed do not allow parents to 'pop' in without taking their kids home with them, do you have a policy like this?

Play and Learn
04-19-2011, 05:49 PM
Same as you. They are allowed to stop by, but be aware that they may be going home with the kids! It's all in my manual!

My parents are great though - haven't popped in at all - they trust me!

fruitloop
04-19-2011, 06:42 PM
I have no issue with parents stopping by but if they do, they better be taking their child home with them. It is very unfair to the child for the parent to do that. When they see a parent show up a daycare their first and only thought is going home.

playfelt
04-19-2011, 09:08 PM
My policy is the same. Feel free to drop in but you take your child home with you. It is a matter of trust. When you dropped the child off in the morning you said you would come back for them. They do not understand that you are just visiting and will feel abandoned when you leave. Also it is not my responsibility to waste time resettling your child who is now in tears - way too time consuming. Just because a parent has insecurities there is no reason for the child to suffer.

Spixie33
04-20-2011, 11:16 AM
Wow I didn't even realize parents would do that.

When I was a parent using a home daycare I would sometimes get off work early and come by to the daycare unannounced to pick up my child a few hours early. That was sort of my way of stopping in to see how things are when she was n ot expecting me but I was also taking my son back home with me. The daycare provider never seemed to mind. She was probably happy that I was taking my child home early.

I have never had a parent come by early unannounced. Well....only once but it was only 1 hour earlier and she was picking up her daughter early too. I didn't mind

mom-in-alberta
04-20-2011, 02:52 PM
I would never have thought of this problem either... :huh:
Do you have this issue? I would absolutely explain that they are welcome at any time during dayhome hours, but that this type of "visit" is un-necessarily hard on the child.
I tell parents that they are welcome, and I have had early pick-ups, but nobody just popping in and leaving again. That seems like something that would be common sense on behalf of the parent, no? :P

mamabear
04-29-2011, 09:27 PM
I've told my dc families that they are welcome to pop in but in 4 years no one has ever done it. They would be taking their child home with them.

Judy Trickett
05-04-2011, 09:50 AM
If you pop by you take your child with you. Also, they are not allowed to 'pop in' and hang out. NO parent gets to stay or hang out here. I don't know these people. My concern is for the kids. These same parents come into my home and interview and demand things like police checks etc. Why then do they expect me to make an exception for THEM or any other parent? I don't know their background and therefore they are NOT hanging around or getting ANY access to the kids.

If you show up mid-day you stand at the door while I retrieve your child and then you leave. Period.

Dreamtree
07-15-2011, 08:10 AM
Hello All!

I opened my daycare in June and am basically doing transition and occasional care until my daycare children start full-time in September.
Originally in interview a mother asked if her mother or herself could just stop by the daycare to do "security checks", I told her that her presence in the part of the day when she did not intend to pick up her child would cause disruption in the day but I didn't want to refuse her access to her child.

Recently, the mothers child had a transition day (with another child -- the mothers are friends) and her child cried so intensely and so consistently that I had to call her and let her know that her 8 month old was not ready for a half-day of care.

This experience with transitioning in my own daycare made me realize how ridiculous it would be to allow parents to just drop in! I might as well say "yes, once I have finally gotten your child settled and comfortable, come and check in so that when you leave you child can return to a state of intense crying!" **insert sarcasm**.

I then wrote a newsletter to all parents explaining my transition policies (that each child must attend transition days before entering full time care) and stating that I would try and accommodate parents but random visits would not be permitted and that although I would have liked to I simply could not offer a completely open-door policy.

My question is, what if this mother comes back and says, "I want my mother to do security checks".

I fond this checking up on me a bit frustrating because it would essentially interrupt me efficcently running my daycare, and disturb the peace of the children I care for. I understand parents need to be cautious, but so do I .


How so others deal with an open door policy?
Thanks

playfelt
07-15-2011, 10:42 AM
The rule in my daycare is you may come by whenever you want BUT you must leave immediately with your child. You are not coming to play, not coming to watch, not coming to interfere with our day. You may come to "check up on us" at which point you will be thanked for your concern, handed your child and ushered out the door so we can go back to what we were busy doing. No it isn't worded quite like that to the parent unless they seem particularly obnoxious or insistent. I tell them that it is a matter of trust. When they dropped off their child at the start of the day they did so by promising to come back and pick up the child. They then do not have the right to come back but not keep their promise of picking up their child. When you give them the child's welfare as the reason they are less likely to pick up. My door is locked and you will not get in unless you ring the bell. I do not allow anyone to just walk in whenever they want as it would mean I could have strangers off the street doing the same thing and there is an increased chance of one of my toddlers walking out. In the first week of transition for me the child and mom stay for an hour on day one and then both go, second day mom 10-15 minutes if she must and then goes but child stays 1-3 hours depending on mom's comfort level. The next days mom drops and runs although I will be a little more lenient at the door and child stays gradually longer including lunch, then after nap then on Friday is here all day. ONLY the parent should be allowed to drop in never an outsider even if it is the grandparent. You have no idea what is going on in family dynamics and these days it can be a lot.

Dreamtree
07-15-2011, 10:52 AM
Playfelt, Thank you! I basically feel the exact same way. If a parent wants to just show up, they have to then take their child with them, I am going to approach it that way as well.

My transition days are very similar to yours :)

sunnydays
07-15-2011, 10:58 AM
I agree with playfelt; I also have it in my contract that parents are invited to drop by at any time to check on their child, but they must take the child home with them. I actually would never place my child in a daycare where the provider said I could not come and check. For me, as long as the parents take the child home, I encourage them to come and check for their own peace of mind. I think more parents SHOULD do this and should not feel badly about being concerned. After all, we are complete strangers who they are trusting with their precious babies and abuse and neglect can and does happen.

waterloo day mom
07-15-2011, 11:07 AM
I have parents give me a list of who (other than them) is allowed to pick up the children. The parents also usually tell me ahead of time or call to say that someone else is picking up. I have also had parents tell me if they need to come by to drop off a sweater, extra training pants, etc. I make sure that the child is distracted and far away from the door so that they don't see mommy or daddy coming in and we avoid the meltdown.

zen39
07-15-2011, 11:36 AM
My policy is similar to the others. I too keep my door locked, so they must ring the doorbell. I have said they could come by anytime (except during nap), but then their child must leave with them then. Parents are very understanding, once it's explained to them that it's too confusing having parents come and go without their children during the day. With that said, I've never had parents come by early unexpected. They always tell me if they'll be coming earlier or if grandma or grandpa will be picking up the child.

I do however understand the "security check" idea by these parents. It's very hard on parents to leave their child with someone they don't know. So if they have no problem with the fact that if they "pop" by, then they also have to leave with their child, I would say great. I think more parents should be this way. I'm still surprised with my new families when they don't call the first couple of days just to check on their little one.

mom-in-alberta
07-16-2011, 12:56 AM
Parents are funny sometimes, no? Some of them will call 100 times before the first day, and then again on the hour, to check in. Then there are the ones who practically throw the diaper bag in the front door and hand you the baby while backing out of your driveway, lol!!
As we have talked about in a few other posts, my open-door policy refers to two things. a) I am willing to communicate about any issue you feel relevant at a time that works for both of us and b) you are welcome to pop in unannounced at any point in the day, TO PICK UP YOUR CHILD
For security reasons, you may not hang around the other kids while we go about our day. And for the general well-being of our entire day, you may not pop in (after your child has settled into our usual routine), say hello and leave. I have not yet met a child who doesn't want to go home when they see mommy and daddy. I don't take it personally, in fact I encourage it and pick-up time is an enthusiastic and silly fun time!!!
I think most parents can understand this, when it is explained to them properly. Especially if you put the shoe on the other foot (ie. I am sure you would not be comfortable with other parents spending extended amounts of time when your children are here, right?)

playfelt
07-16-2011, 07:24 AM
Another tactic I have used with parents wanting to just drop in is reminding them that our day flows from event to event and anything that disrupts that schedule does just that. It means something for the day must be dropped as in not done so that we can stay on the schedule of meals, naps, diaper changes etc. What gets dropped is the very thing that many parents are looking for in care is the stuff beyond the basics. If they come during storytime the kids have gone off to play or followed me to the door and the interest is gone. If they come during craft time, many kids won't return to the craft and I will have lost interest because I had to quickly scoop up all the supplies to the counter before answering the door. When they are reminded that if I let them come by continuously unannounced I have to extend that privilege to the other 4 parents in care. Just imagine what our week would be like if I have a couple parents popping in and out every day. A home daycare is not like a daycare centre where you can be met at the door by the director and allowed to peek into your child's classroom to catch a glimpse of your child. In home daycare there is no staying in the shadows. You are here disrupting our day and while I understand in the first week you many need to do that a couple times. After that it is the parent's responsibility to keep their insecurities in check.

On the parents not calling on the first day etc. That is actually a good thing. It isn't that they don't care or that they totally trust you so it doesn't matter but they have steeled themselves for the realities of daycare. Being on the provider side of things we forget sometimes that these parents have had almost 2 years - the year of pregnancy and the year of maternity leave to get ready to put their child in daycare. It isn't a snap decision. Once they have chosen a placement they need to trust themselves that they did a good job and not have doubts. Our job is to do our job so they don't have any doubts.

Sunflower
07-16-2011, 08:32 AM
No,no way. I can understand how stressful it can be as a parent, I have been there.
BUT this is my place, my rules and personally, if a parent was this stressed out and had this little trust in me,I would not renew the contract.

Parents here are allowed to drop in whenever the want (except between 1 and 3) but they must leave with the child after.

rebeccamferguson
08-27-2011, 10:34 PM
I had a true open door policy. Parents were welcome to come by at any time and walk in unannounced. It never interferred with our day. They were welcome to come and join in with whatever we were doing. I never left them alone with someone else's children but they could join in with our activities if they wanted.

At some point you have to allow parents to do what is best for their child and I explained it to them as such. It is the daycare provider's job to take care of the kids and transition them as such. If a mom kept coming by to visit (without taking the child home) and the child cried each time she left, most responsible parents will stop popping in for a visit as they will recognize that it isn't working for their child.

If it would have become a problem, I would have worked on a solution with the parent so that the child isn't upset.

What if the child is fine with mom visiting at lunch and going back to work? Why not let the parent visit?

In my three years of home daycare, popping in was never a problem. The kids rarely cried at drop off and didn't think anything of the parent leaving again later in the day. Locked doors and no drop ins always make me wonder what the provider might not want to be 'caught' doing...... I've tried to give my daycare parents the benefit of the doubt and they have always risen to that expectation. They really do want what is best for their child.....

Skysue
08-29-2011, 05:05 PM
I just get parents that do early pick up without letting me know! That's fine with me! Also I have a few parents that stand at the door and listen and this I find kind of rude but understand that there only listening for there Childs well being!

Emilys4Guppies
08-29-2011, 05:54 PM
For me, locking my doors is for MY safety and my children's safety. It has nothing to do with hiding things. I am a 125lb woman alone with 8 children in a home that is a known home daycare...I'm not taking a risk on having someone break in. Personally, I was more comfortable knowing my HDCP locked her doors when my older children were in daycare because I knew they were safe.

I also believe it is a safety issue to have parents join in the dc activities if they don't have a valid police check. Parents require it of me and any assistants I might have, and so it is something I require of anyone who will be doing more than drop off/pick up.

Sarah
08-29-2011, 06:45 PM
Hi,

I want to say that I loved your post Rebeccamfergusson. I now an a DCP but I used to have my daughter in daycare, and I was stille breastfeeding, so I would come before lunch and breastfeed my daughter, then have llunch with them, play with all the kids that were attending, then left to go back to work.

Of course, it did take time for her to adjust. A few days of crying after lunch (never cried at drop off) and then she knew I was coming for a visit and would come back later on. Lots of people tried to discourage me, saying it was too hard for a kid to adjust to that, but I proved them wrong!

Parents are welcome to come in my house too. But I also do lock the doors. Parents ring the bell and I open the door.

Sarah

horsegirl
08-30-2011, 02:58 PM
I lock my front door, as licensing requires this for safety of the children.
Parents are allowed to come over whenever they want, but as I explain to them, their child has already said goodbye in the morning and now has to say goodbye when they leave again. This usually turns into tears and causes the other children anxiety. So, the parents know if their child seems upset they have to take them with them.
When a parent comes over they cannot stay longer than 5-10 minutes, as they need to have a criminal record search to be present with the other children. This is required by our licensing regulations.
Good luck.

FS2011
08-30-2011, 10:47 PM
I also lock my doors, due to the area I live in and my licensing recommendation. Parents can come if breastfeeding but otherwise it's not encouraged...but parents don't really ask to do that either. As long as they are not left alone with the kids I don't see why they would need a CRC. My LIcensing officier had said my out of town company can visit with me and my dck's when here without a CRC so obviously my dc parents could.