Suddenly crying at drop-off

[GymMom]

Ive had this little guy for a month and a half and he's never cried at drop off. Lately though, he's been quite moody and defiant with me and has been crying when he's dropped off. Is this normal? I don't have any other kids his age here - just 2 babies. I wonder if he's bored playing by himself or with me all the time. I have 2 boys starting in 2 weeks - hoping that will turn out to be a good thing for him!

[playfelt]

You don't say how old the child is. There are periods that for some reason kids go through an adjustment period and yes they can start to cry at dropoff or at the slightest thing acting like they have anever experienced it even though you haven't changed the process. 9monhts, 12 months, 15 months, 18 months,.....note a pattern here. It somewhat has to do with the child learning new skills no matter how minor they are. The move to being able to walk is the biggest one. The other point is where they are going through a maturing growth spurt and language explodes - ie they become more aware of the world around them. Teething can also through everything off and especially if he has been touchy at home and is getting carried or otherwise being reinforced for the behaviour.

Be sure that in caring for the babies you don't get so busy that you leave the older one to his own devices for long periods of time. Trying to include him more in what is going on if he will - sitting with books or toys near you while you feed a baby. Make times during naptime for you and him to play a special game which I assume you are already doing.

[Cocoon]

Is there anything changing in his home? Like moving, staying guests etc. can effect children big time.

[sunnydays]

Like Playfelt said, it can just be a stage. I have a 19 month old in my care who never cried from day one (he started with me at 9 months), but now is going through a stage a year later where he cries when his parents drop-off...he stops as soon as they leave of course, but he gets to them every time ;) He also just learned to walk and is suddenly much more communicative and aware of everything, so I think it's all part of it. Plus, they suddenly learn how to manipulate mom and dad around this age.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Seriously how many of us when we worked outside the home even if we 'liked' our job often crumbled a bit each morning at the prospect of having to go in to work for a nine hour day ~ kids are no different ... it does not mean they do not like daycare or have fun there it just means they would rather be at home ;)

I also agree ~ depending on the age this can be perfectly normal stage of 'separation anxiety' ... most kids go through it just before 1 and than again around 2 years when they have a better concept of 'time passing' and suddenly they are pissy about the fact that even though they might have fun at daycare they want to let mom or dad know they would rather be at home ;)

I have one who normally comes in bouncing and happy but when he is 'teething' he is all mama's boy not even DAD is acceptable alternative option for caring for him ~ mom is awesome at drop off of doing it like a band aid ~ quick and let the healing begin ~ cause she knows that shortly after she is gone he moves right into play and the 'showing his displeasure' about being left stops and he chooses to make the best of his days here.

[Momof4]

GymMom, I had a dramatic boy who I called Jeckyll & Hyde because it was like he had a split personality when he was with me and with his parents. The guy knew how to play them like a finely tuned instrument! I cannot even count the phases he went through over 3 1/2 years being here until he left for JK and his Mom would agree. It was really difficult for her but not so much for me because once she left he stopped whatever he was going on about. Kids are sneaky and manipulative, make no mistake about it. They just do it at their child level with basic needs as their focus and getting attention is a basic need for a child.

Talk to the parents, remain calm and breathe and hopefully this phase will pass quickly. You didn't say, but I'm hoping he is only doing it in front of the parents. Does he stop when they are gone?

[GymMom]

He is 2 1/2 and yes the tears stop before mom gets back in her car! Can't help but take it a little personally though! :)

[mimi]

It's all about missing Mom not you GymMom. I have a 19 month old dcg who has been making steady progress in getting comfortable here. Today, she is all tears and wants Mom. She's well, just having an off day.

[Crayola kiddies]

He's just doing it for her benefit.

[GymMom]

Thanks everyone! I feel better now! :)