Need only 1 nap; cues?

[Dreamalittledream]

So, DCM of my 13 month old DCG brings her this morning (she's been off since last Friday) and says she wants her to now have 2 naps lasting 1 hour max (she claims that she hasn't slept well at night all weekend...she also started an antibiotic on Friday and that can throw off behavior as well; weird that mom , a nurse, wouldn't think of that?)). Previously, I have given her a 1 hour nap in the AM and 2 hours in the aft. (my rest time). If she fights the AM. nap (about 70% of the time she does lately), I let her cry for a bit and then just get her up...I honestly think she would be fine with just the afternoon one...she shows no signs of being tired in the morning (I've communicated this several times and this morning too). But the mom has read somewhere that she must have 2 naps until she turns 2 (1st time mom). Thoughts? I think I'm just going to keep going like I have been...I just note AM nap refused in her log that I email to them. Crazy thing is I asked her, "What do you do at home?" "Just 1 nap" "I really feel it's best for your daughter to keep things consistent". "No, she's more tired here at daycare" At that point I give up because I have all of my other little ones getting antsy to finish our story. I even got an email after that from her
"I think it was not really clear this morning... it's because you didn't know what was the best for *******... sorry
Then, I think it better to continu with 2 naps because she used to do that normally but as I told you, maximum 1h each nap."
That's right lady...I have no idea what's best for her...sigh.

[Dreamalittledream]

Forgot to add....this AM she refused AM nap...I tried twice...no big surprise. She's full of energy today and showing no signs of being tired. I emailed the Mom back stating exactly that...and does she wish me to put her down just for 1 hour still this afternoon? Awaiting reply. Mom really is a control freak on everything...looks like in this case of the naps; daughter is asserting her own control;)

[mamabear]

I would be very unhappy with any parent who told me I don't know what's best for their child! I spend all day with them, 5 days week. If dcg has stopped needing a morning nap stop putting her down. And nap her in the PM as long as she needs, even if its more than the 1 hour. Chances are she will sleep a couple hours at least.

As far as dcm, she needs to let go a bit. Parent's don't TELL me how long go nap their kids.

[mimi]

I wouldn't be asking Mom during daycare hours what I should do. Just follow your instincts and what is best for dcg. At 13 months it can very day to day wether the child needs a nap. Alot depends on the quality of sleep the night before. I always ask my dcparents "good night?' so I can access their sleep needs.

[Crayola kiddies]

If it was me I would just leave her up in the am and put her down in the aft and let her sleep till she gets up... I once had a parent that only wanted their child to sleep from 12-2 ( well actually they wanted the child to only sleep in the am and not at all in the act but I would not agree to that) because they said the child would not go to bed at night .... So i agreed ... but the child needed more then that. I tried it for two days and it was a nightmare ... The child was freaking out when woken .... So I put the child to bed everyday at 11 till they woke and that child slept till 2:30 everyday ..... About a month later I asked how bedtime was going and the parent said "oh perfect ..... The new nap schedule has worked out perfectly". I smiled and said glad to hear.

[sunnydays]

I don't let parents tell me when or how long to nap their children. I tell them naptime in the afternoon is 2 hours minimum and can go for up to 2.5 hours. Morning nap is given based on needs, but tends to be short so as not to mess with the afternoon. If the child isn't ready to go to bed at 6:30 or 7pm as many parents seem to want, then spend a little time with them and put them to bed a bit later!

[Dreamalittledream]

I don't let parents tell me when or how long to nap their children. I tell them naptime in the afternoon is 2 hours minimum and can go for up to 2.5 hours. Morning nap is given based on needs, but tends to be short so as not to mess with the afternoon. If the child isn't ready to go to bed at 6:30 or 7pm as many parents seem to want, then spend a little time with them and put them to bed a bit later!
I so agree!!! Especially this family...Dad rarely picks up before 6pm! They are a temp. contract/family, I agreed to take their little girl only until March when I have a new F/T starting. We've done them so many favors, taking her on weekends for them, late & long days...from very other parent I have gotten thank you notes, gifts, pay bonuses 'just because', each family writes a little thankyou (some a little note) on pay envelopes....it's so sweet. This family; who have by far been the biggest challenge have done nothing in terms of appreciation. The little girl is the sweetest and I have done my job to prepare her well for the next place but March cannot come soon enough!

[mustbenuts]

Why are 2 one hour naps different than 1 two hour nap? Just do whatever you feel is best and at pickup just say she slept great! If mom wants details, let her know she would not sleep in the AM (you don't even need to attempt it if you know she will not sleep) but made up for it in the afternoon. And she is right, kids may need more sleep at daycare and you can tell her that's why you let her sleep the full naptime in the afternoon if she needs it. She sounds like the type of mom where you just smile and nod and then continue doing things your way.

[monkeymama]

I literally just went through this same scenario. I have a dcg whos 16months and my own son who is 14 mos. dcg mom wanted me to slowly wean out morning nap, which to me is just prolonging the inevitable and is very difficult for a child. I put them both on one nap cold turkey and its been great! they were both getting up eraly in the afternoon and being very loud (giggling at each other lol) and it was disturbing the other dck nap time. now they are sound asleep and sleep 3 hours every day! the first couple days they were a little cranky closer to lunch/nap time but i tried to plan some outdoor activities to keep them occupied and now they are great.

[playfelt]

When ever a parent starts in with what they have read somewhere I ask them for the article - ie proof. Then make sure I have plenty of my own that say something different to show that there is no such thing as a difinitive authority on child rearing just ideas. Rarely do I ever have a child that naps in the AM past 18 months and those are usually the ones that come very early or the parents don't put them to bed till late but it starts early and lasts no more than an hour and then they are gotten up and put down with the rest of the group in the afternoon.

[Mamma_Mia]

Just do what YOU KNOW is right for the child and give litte or no inforamtion to mom or be very vauge....Yup she napped well today.

I've lied before "no XXX didn't nap" only asked if they did otherwise I didn't mention it. Next morning I ask "how was xxx night?" "OH she slept so well, I knew she didn't nee a nap anymore" meanwhile her kid slept for 3hrs :laugh: whatever!! Parents for some things I believe are in a need-to-know basis.

[Mamma_Mia]

Oh and BTW I would NOT be happy with mom talking to me that way. Let ME be clear, this is how its done in MY house missy....and if you don't feel I care for your child then find someone else who apparently does. F'off

[mom-in-alberta]

Aside from the issue of to nap or not.... Uh, "you just didn't know what is best for little So-and-so"?? No wonder you can't wait for March!!
Yes, I spend 10-12 hours, 5 days a week with your child. I can see why you would think I know nothing about them, and deserve no input on her well-being. Sheesh!!

[Momof4]

I don't have a separate place for children to nap in the morning so even when they start with me at about 10 months they drop that nap really quickly. I take them outside in the stroller and once in a while they catch a catnap there but more often than not they adjust quickly without it. But I serve lunch at 11-11:30 and get them into bed by 12:30 for a 2 hour nap. I have a 13 month old baby right now in his 2nd month of adjusting to this schedule and I think it's hitting him hard because he gets cranky before lunch but he's getting there.

[kidlove]

i do agree with mamma mia...too funny, we do this for a living and although the child is theirs, it is quite possible and very likely that we know more of what that child needs than they do. don't mean to sound snippy and really mean no disrespect but this is not only our job (we know the ins and outs of children and can read their behaviors and cues very well- it's our profession) but we are also with their child (most often) more than them, therefor we KNOW what the child needs or IF a long or short nap wil or will not effect the child overall. Not saying you can't work with a parent on shortening a nap or even attempt to cut out an am one....but more times than not, I have let the parent know that little suzie is sleeping only one hour or so, when actually I have only cut her nap by 15 minutes, and they will respond with the usual...."oh things are so much better at bed time now". You say what you have to and do what you have to sometimes to just keep the peace...not saying you have to lie, but if they say the child needs shorter naps...you don't have to give them a specific length...just "it's been shorter".

[Dreamalittledream]

Sadly, these parents demand specific logs (what she ate & when, diaper change & what time, what time she slept and how long)...every other parent has said to me not to even worry emailing them the logs anymore & trust me to just let them know if something's wonky. Paranoid & controlling Mom from the moment I met her.

[Mamma_Mia]

Sadly, these parents demand specific logs (what she ate & when, diaper change & what time, what time she slept and how long)...every other parent has said to me not to even worry emailing them the logs anymore & trust me to just let them know if something's wonky. Paranoid & controlling Mom from the moment I met her.

Sorry hun....you agreed to her "trap" and now you're stuck :(
I would never agree to do detailed logs...I don't have the time, nor do I want to! lol

All I could do is wish you good luck!

[Dreamalittledream]

Sorry hun....you agreed to her "trap" and now you're stuck :(
I would never agree to do detailed logs...I don't have the time, nor do I want to! lol

All I could do is wish you good luck!
You're so right and trust me...lesson learned;)

[Momof4]

You're so right and trust me...lesson learned;)

Dream, can you tell the parents that you only provide this extra service for the first 3 months or so? Try to get it done and over and you know you are way too busy to be stopping to write a journal. The children need your attention, it's not a lie!

[playfelt]

I have heard of caregivers charging an extra $5 a day for the journals based on having to do extra work over their lunch hour.