Any tips for dealing with older new kids.

[GymMom]

Had 2 brothers start today - 3 & 4 year olds. I can see they're going to be a bit of a handful - yelling, pushing, not sharing, not listening. Any tips or advice for dealing with these behaviors?

[playfelt]

For sure they are old enough to be sat down and given the house rules. Remind them that no matter what the rules at their house or grandma's house or their friends' homes you have rules at your house they must follow.

At the same time I do tend to be a little bit more lenient with siblings when I can in the sense that they are playing as they have learned to play and there isn't another parent that is going to complain about the agression towards their child. But that doesn't mean shoving, etc. is acceptable period.

Talk with them about what the consequences should be for forgetting the rules at your house and then make them stick to them - they will delight in reminding the other one about needing time out or whatever method you use. They will learn to police themselves with time and all you will need to do is give a few verbal warnings/reminders.

[bright sparks]

I find that a strict routine that they play a strong role in is very important to keep them both entertained and prevent conflict. Give them some fun options for activities, and let them decide. I always like to make them think they are in control, even though they arent :), that way they might me more willing to comply and co-operate. If there are issues, I would personally nip them in the bud right away and even talk to them infront of their parents about what has gone on during the day and whether this is acceptable behaviour. Perhaps set some goals with them and have a reward chart. Maybe ask mum how they are at home and what she does. Also I would make sure the parents are working hand in hand with you and are on the same page when it comes to discipline, and rules.

[Momof4]

Ooooh, I would not want to accept a 3 & 4 year old boy! Where were they before? If they were at a daycare, what happened? Were they terminated for bad behaviour or did they just move? I have so many questions for you.

But, the previous two posters gave you great advice. Rules! And actions have consequences, good actions mean praise and bad actions mean talking about correcting them.

[GymMom]

Momof4 - they just moved here from a town several hours away. I'm having 2nd thoughts though - I definitely prefer the little ones!

[sunnydays]

I don't have any advice that hasn't been given already, but just wanted to send some support! I wouldn't let it necessarily deter you from taking kids at that age though...I just had an almost 3 year old start with me and she is wonderful...by far the easiest kid I have so far. It can work out! Sending strength your way!

[Momof4]

Momof4 - they just moved here from a town several hours away. I'm having 2nd thoughts though - I definitely prefer the little ones!

Ah, well that's good at least. Enforce your rules daily and they will learn the routines and what you expect from them. Be consistent and talk to them all the time about your rules but give them special chores and make them feel at home too.