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Wonderwiper
11-07-2012, 08:32 AM
Just wanted to hear what some other people thought of this! Best friend asked me last night if i would watch her 6 month old son for 4 nights so they could go on carribean honeymoon. We are their family and would have no problem with doing it. My question is more about whether you, as a mom, could/would leave 6 month old for 4 nights?? Just curious!! Thanks ladies!

mimi
11-07-2012, 08:44 AM
If it was an important event, and I think a honeymoon is, especially when this is a great opportunity for new parents to reconnect on a personal level I would. If I had a very trusted friend who has lots of experience with little ones and would be eager to care for my baby and follow my guidelines for sleeping/eating etc, I would. I don't think I could do it for a week so the 4 nights would be my limit.

bright sparks
11-07-2012, 08:49 AM
Each to their own. I left my daughter overnight with my parents when she was 7 or 8 months old while we went on a city break which was given to us as a Xmas gift. I think going overseas is a completely different matter though. This kind of thing used to really bother me but I found after a couple of years that it wasnt productive or helpful to me to bitch and moan as it wasnt my child and if they thought it was okay, then so be it. I used to get very very frustrated though.....Basically I had a brother and a sister in my care for 2 1/2 years. The girl was 3 months when she came to me as mom couldnt take any more time off work as it was her business. The boy was nearly 2yrs. 4 weeks after the girls was born she went to cuba for a week and left both kids with her mother. 3 months after taking the kids on she went to cuba again for a week. During the rest of the time I cared for them she went to cuba 1 additional time for a week, Paris for 10 days and Chile for 2 weeks. Every time her kids were left behind with her mother. I can't begin to understand how a mother can want children and then leave her babies so frequently for extended periods of time and overseas no less. I think an occasional night or weekend away is almost essential for parents to keep their sanity and their identitiy beyond the role of mother or father. Unfortunatly a lot of us parents dont have friends or family who are either able to take over care for this or we just don't feel able to ask for it. I personally think without any knowledge obviously, that this friend has likely figured that while a honeymoon is important to them, a week away would be to long and the 4 day duration seems like a compromise. They clearly trust you without question to ask you to do this for them. So IMO, while I couldnt go overseas and truly feel comfortable not being in the same country as my kids, I dont think its a big deal if the childs parents and yourself are okay with it.

country girl
11-07-2012, 08:51 AM
I left my 2 month old for 4 nights with my hubby to go to NYC on a mother/daughter trip. If the parents are comfortable with it then that is all that matters IMO

BrightEyes
11-07-2012, 08:51 AM
Personally I couldn't/wouldn't do it. We haven't gone on our honeymoon yet and are waiting until she is older. Even then I feel like I would want to bring her on vacation with us. LOL!!!! I may change my mind on that down the road though lol. Maybe bring my sister along to look after my daughter on vaca when my husband and I want to be alone.....

dodge__driver11
11-07-2012, 12:28 PM
If it is someone I trust I would but for no more than a week.

monkeymama
11-07-2012, 12:35 PM
As I exclusively breastfeed my kids, no I wouldnt. I dont have a problem with others who do though. As long as the child is safe and in the care of someone you trust, that is all that matters. Moms deserve a break!

KingstonMom
11-07-2012, 12:36 PM
2 years ago I have left my 9 month old son at his grandparents house (also where my sister and her hubby live) for a week to go down south on vacation. Again in April I will be dropping my 2.5 yr old son and 1 yr old daughter at their house again for a week!
If tehy are with trusted, capable family/caregivers, why not? Everyone needs a break and I will miss them like crazy, but I thinks it is good for everyone.

Wonderwiper
11-07-2012, 08:30 PM
Thanks ladies!!! Always like to everyone else's opinion!!!

treeholm
11-07-2012, 09:10 PM
I wouldn't judge someone else for their decisions, but I couldn't have done it. Of course, I also nursed my children for 2 years, so I wasn't able to get away for more than a few hours at a time for several years. I am also a different generation (mid-50s) and I would have felt too guilty to take "me" time at the expense of spending time with my children, and I think if I had asked my mother to babysit so I could get away overnight while I had a child under two, she would have been shocked that I would even consider it. I did get away for 5 days with hubby in 1988 for our tenth anniversary, but our first two children were 8 and 3 at that time, and it was combined with a business trip. That's the only time we ever left our children for more than 1 night, until the youngest was a teenager. There's a part of me that admires young moms who are comfortable taking time for themselves... many of my friends who are my age would never have felt that it was okay to put our own needs ahead of the need of our child to have mom there 24/7. I'm not saying we were right or wrong, or that mothers who take time for themselves are right or wrong, it's just a different attitude these days.

Sandbox Sally
11-08-2012, 08:49 AM
I don't think there's anything wrong with people doing this, but I'm not sure I would do it. I think that my opinion is clouded though, because like some of the previous posters, I EBF for a long time, so my reality doesn't include a lot of time away from babies. :)

I would never judge parents who choose this, though.

Mamma_Mia
11-08-2012, 12:54 PM
I don't see anything wrong with it either. 4 nights not 2 weeks and I'm sure she'll be calling/emailing/texting like 30 times a day! LOL

I left my DD at 1mos old overnight at my mom's - it was part of my "birthday" gift from DH...to get a full nights sleep! :laugh: now if only he stayed over there too so I could have the bed to myself! :laugh: kidding lol

Alpha brings up a good point - I couldn't BF so that also made it easier.

boogiequeen
10-01-2013, 05:34 AM
If you trust the person there would be no promlem to leave a kid for this person's care. However the young age could raise doubts.

treeholm
10-01-2013, 09:25 AM
I went away overnight for the first time since becoming a Mom for my tenth wedding anniversary. My children were 8 and 3. We went to Vancouver for 5 days, and it was really hard to leave them.
I also went away with my husband for a weekend when my youngest was two and stopped nursing. My older ones were 11 and 6 at the time. I enjoyed the first night, but missed my children terribly the second night. Now they are grown up, and the two oldest have children of their own, and I am so glad I always put them first because we are all very close knit. It was a very worthwhile investment to spend all those years nurturing them and not putting career ahead of them. Just my humble opinion as a grandma LOL!

Momof4
10-01-2013, 11:41 AM
My goodness there have been an awful lot of really old posts revisited yesterday and today. Are they real people who brought them all up? It's hard to tell.

playfelt
10-01-2013, 01:46 PM
I think what happens is someone new joins the forum and then just starts reading and posts a few comments just to get started not realizing they should check the dates of when the thread started. It is nice to recall some of what has been discussed before.

When I sign in I just go to the link that says new posts and it just brings up anything new that has been posted since I was on the board the last time and I start working my way through them. For sure more likely to comment on the items that come up first and as my time gets tight do more reading than commenting. But then as long as someone else comments that thread will be in my list later anyways.

5 Little Monkeys
10-01-2013, 02:20 PM
I'm a new user and I have to admit this forum is a bit overwhelming compared to the ones I usually participate in. There is a lot to read and a huge amount of different categories and I honestly don't even look at the dates haha. Sorry if I'm commenting on old posts but yes I'm real :) I get lost in this website a lot actually haha.

One thing one of the other forums I use does is that after 90 days of no activity on a thread, it gets automatically closed down to prevent this very thing. That could maybe be something this forum could do if it's an issue?

Momof4
10-01-2013, 04:05 PM
Playfelt, I tend to use the What's New button too and I agree that it saves time because only today's posts are there.

5Little Monkeys, I know you are a serious caregiver by your questions and posts, I was talking about 2 other ones who had odd and vague questions yesterday and today and I was trying to figure out if they were serious or spammers. Since nobody else answered them I suspect they are spammers, but we're here to help people who need help. I don't want to ignore REAL people in need!

5 Little Monkeys
10-01-2013, 05:24 PM
Thanks momof4, I really enjoy this forum so I don't want to be ignored! haha. There is a lot of awesome advice and people from what I have seen so far :) I actually saw playfelt comment on the "new posts" option a couple days ago and I have been doing that lately. That has helped my confusion a lot lol.

I have a question and this is probably the wrong spot for it and I'm sorry if this is sidetracking the thread but........how do I remember what threads I have posted in??? I find it really confusing to keep track of which thread in which category I posted in.

boogiequeen
10-02-2013, 02:23 AM
Yeah, I've recently joined this forum and started just read all that I could find:laugh: I wanted to left some comments in the topics I was ineterested in even if they are old.

Skysue
10-02-2013, 12:16 PM
I think it would be a bad idea if say she asked a provider who she doesn't know to do it.

A. She see's you as someone she loves and trusts.

B. You are her family and she know's you will treat and love her child like your own.

C. She knows you are fully capable and your the only person without a doubt that she would ask!

FunnyFarm
10-02-2013, 01:31 PM
treeholm- you speak to my heart as a mother. I don't think it is a generation thing because I'm in my 30's and feel exactly as you do. Still nursing my 20mth old and also nursed my first for 14mths (mastitis and work got in the way of prolonging that). IMO I could never leave my children for more than a night's at the parents house (and also didn't happen till I was/am done nursing). Just my feelings. Again, as previously stated; I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. But it does cause difficulties in my immediate family who are willing to leave thier young children for 1 week periods multiple times a year. It's not what I would do (my heart would break being away so long and frequently), but they are not me either :)

So to answer the original question. Personally I could not do it, but each to their own. :)