Potty woes/tight pants etc.

[Dreamalittledream]

My DCG (almost 3yrs old) is having trouble getting her pants down in time and ends up getting her pants wet. My son did too, so now I put only loose pants and no underwear on him and that worked like a charm. I've asked parents for loose pants for DCG and that some times does happen, but most times not (and there's still the issue of the underwear). They are a wonderful family, the kind of family that once in awhile throws in an extra $20, or a gift card 'just because'. But, they like to put her in these tights and tiny little girl underwear. My challenge is that once they've transitioned from the potty in the playroom (DCG refuses to use it any longer); my bathroom is a couple stairs up from my playroom. I position myself at the top of those stairs so I can both see them 10 steps away in the bathroom and the playroom below. I have 2 options...is it right to request the loose pants/no underwear thing that worked so well with my son? Or, do I just pull what she currently wears down for her at the top of the stairs (but I want her to be able to do this herself). At home, she insists that her parents company her on each trip to the bathroom and they adjust her clothing themselves. She is an extremely strong willed child that has her parents completely trained (eg., they no longer use the word "no" or any negative reinforcement at home, only redirection because she has incredible tantrums if told "no")...Mom & Dad admit that they are completely exhausted by this child;). Thank goodness she's realized none of that flys here (the tantrums started here; within 2 days of me totally ignoring it, gone...I haven't seen one since). She really is a dream child for me.

[kidlove]

If the parents continue to bring her in "inapropriate" attire for potty training, I would just ignore their lack of response, have a larger (not too big, but big enough to be loose around the waste and easy to pull down and up) pair of pants kept in her cubby. When they drop her off in the am, just change her out of the cute duds they bring her in and into the cozy/easy ones you have. That is just what I do. When she is at your house you can do what you choose, what works best for you. Maybe if you get lucky they will make a comment regarding her having accidents while trying to pull pants down, and then you will have a chance to explain to them the importance of ease of ups and downs with pants while training. Not to mention independence is a huge part of successful potty training.

[Crayola kiddies]

I did the same ad kidlove .... I had a parent that always sent their kid in jeans with buttons.... However the spare pants the he had here were just elastic waist so when he arrived in jeans I changed him right away. Then changed him back at the end of the day. Simple

[Mamma_Mia]

I would mention it to the parents. I personally don't like doing the changing of clothes to "hide" it from the parents. They NEED to know what will work and it's confusing ot the child. Speak to them that "DCG really wants to do it all on her own and those tighter pants/undies are making it hard for her. So why not try for the next two weeks with the looser items and see if by then she'll be ok with the other clothing?"

I doubt she'll be ready then but this way the parents feel a little better and can see it's a trasition stage and the easier ou make it the better...

I had to tell my dcparents of a 10mos old to stop sending jeans! The kid couldn't bend and/or move/crawl in them because she was a chunky-monkey and the jeans were the stiff ones. Well once they switched into tights or leggings she'd move everywhere!! It just doesn't click sometimes.

[Crayola kiddies]

Well I wasn't doing it to hide it from the parents I have it right in my policybook that they are to come in clothing that is easy for them to manipulate when at this stage but the parents told me they only had about 3 pairs of pants that just pulled on and one of the pairs was at my house and they said they "were too cheap to go buy more so please just change him into the pants I had at my house when they sent him in jeans" I just didn't feel like typing all that originally :(

[Mamma_Mia]

Well I wasn't doing it to hide it from the parents I have it right in my policybook that they are to come in clothing that is easy for them to manipulate when at this stage but the parents told me they only had about 3 pairs of pants that just pulled on and one of the pairs was at my house and they said they "were too cheap to go buy more so please just change him into the pants I had at my house when they sent him in jeans" I just didn't feel like typing all that originally :(

That's a different story!!
Maybe I wasn't clear :) I've been typing one thing while my mind thinks another lately.....
my whole point was that the parents need to be in the know. As you mentioned that the parents asked you to do this so they know the child is changing clothes. That's fine. I just don't agree with changing the child without them knowing only because they parents don't want to follow your potty guidelines KWIM? If they don't provide the propper gear then I'd make it an issue....like if they flat out ignore your request kinda thing.

[playfelt]

i am one of these caregivers who frankly doesn't care if a child gets potty trained or not so if parent doesn't cooperate we just don't train. Child would be in a pullup with me anyways till she was able to get the underwear and clothes down. On jean days I would just comment to parent oh guess we won't be potty training today so that will deplete our supply of diapers extra fast and just leave it at that. Parents would get the hint soon enough.

This child would have a pullup on over the underwear till she was able to do them both alone.

I also find it is easier and faster just to go in and help where needed and get the whole process over with. Again once they get to school they will have child size toilets so lifting them on and off mine is fine - I use the insert no potty here even for the youngest so if you are too unstable to sit on toilet too young for potty training.

It then becomes the parent's job to teach how to do their own clothing while they have the time for one on one - note pulling from the front and back rather than the sides is the easiest for them to grab since they can used a closed hand rather than just inserting a couple fingers which requires more manual dexterity.

[Momof4]

Thanks a thousand times Playfelt! I agree that the potty learning has to be done at home and the child has to be making really great progress before we can start pitching in. The parents have one child and we have a lot more to deal with than that. Pullups over underwear have been successful in my daycare as well. I'm happy to do all I can and have helped train several children now but not until they are ready!