Seriously...are all parents unreliable

[MeMe]

In 2 weeks I have had 3 kids pulled from care. THREE kids! One mom went on mat leave early, still owes me for one afterschool day and didnt give 2 weeks notice. She is now nowhere to be found.

Then 2 days later a mother pulled her kid cause the Dad lost his job. Had already paid for 2 weeks but didnt even tell me that starting the NEXT day the kid wouldnt be here afterschool - I had to see the Dad at pick-up the next day and put 2 and 2 together. Every day I see the Dad he doesnt say hello nothing ...

Now this morning a mother pulls her daughter to go to a friends daycare she is opening up and that next week will be her last week. Ummmm again that is not 2 weeks notice and next week she will only be here one day of the 5 (already paid for next week).

This is my first year doing this and it seems like I got all the neighbourhood rejects. Please tell me some parents are super spectacular cause I am feeling like their isnt too much appreciation for what we do, unbelivable high expectations for care but they dont want to pay for it and a constant judgement feeling coming from parents even for something as short as a 1hr of care.

[kidlove]

I hear ya meme...this job has it's terrific "ups" but also MANY yucky "downs". I have learned more about people in general over the years of having this day care than the rest of my life. I have learned there are all kinds of people in this world and just because you are a grown up, doesn't mean you are grown up! Some people expect something for nothing, some people only think of themselves and their needs, and when most people are done with your services, they are done with you! I have even had some of the greatest families for years, had ups and downs with the kids but for the most part developed really great relationships with them over the time I cared for their kids, then when it's time for them to pack up and take their child off to the next step in life, what do I get? nothing...not even a thanks for all your help...not to mention a thanks for helping me raise my child for the last 4 years. :( It's hard to always keep a positive spin on what we do when it seems we are getting more flack, judgement, and downright ungratefullness rather than appreciation but, we have to remember why we are doing the job...the kids and the paycheck, not for all the Thanks...although it's what seems to keep me going especially during the hard times, it is just an added bonus to be appreciated openly by parents.
sorry you had all those drop on you at once, that stinks and before the holidays none the less, keep your chin up and look for better replacements.....the y are out there. Seem fewer and farther between in the world today, too many self serving people are walking the earth now, rather than the appreciative ones that once seemed more dominant. Take a look around, even kids are less selfless. sad really...makes a job like this 10 times more difficult. Your not alone!! :)

[MeMe]

Thanks kidlove. This has been a big blow and I really feel like a failure. I quit my job to stay home to be with my kids (one with special needs) and to have little friends here for them and to be of help to the people in my neighhbourhood. I have come close to throwing in the towel if I didnèt need the money.

[kidlove]

Don't think you are alone in those thoughts, any time I get low in numbers I start to second guess my situation and my self as a provider. I know the real reason I am low is beyond my control, however it doesn't stop me from having those crazy thoughts of, maybe I am not a good enough provider, I'm not doing my job well enough?! I know none of it is true but I think it's human nature to blame yourself when you fall on hard times. Please keep your head up and keep going, don't forget what you did this for, your kids need you right now and you are doing the right thing. Sometimes I need to remind myself: What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. All the bills are paid, nothing more though. Christmas is coming, but God provides. Be thankful for what you have and take your focus off what you don't, before you know it, things will be going your way again and you will look back on these feelings as just a memory. :)

[Other Mummy]

well put kidlove!

Yes, the downside to this business is the parents most times! Hang in there MeMe. I hope your next set of families are wonderful.

[mimi]

Hi MeMe, sorry to hear about the multiple departures! It does make you feel vulnerable, but like most say, because we have been through similar downturns, is it will get better. It is just waiting for the better which is tough.
I think it is not just this business but most others who deal with the public in general that can tell you stories of abuse and disrespect by the customers they have to deal with. Everyone wants rock bottom prices and supreme service and don't care that a business owner may be struggling to make ends meet. I have friends that got a good deal on a service. They laughed at how the deal is so good, the business owner probably isn't making a dime, ha ha ha. They are now in my acquaintance category. I find their attitude vulger.
So Meme, chin up. You stated this is your first year which is always difficult. As you get established you may find your business will come from some referrals as alot of ours does. Good luck :star:

[MeMe]

Thanks guys. U really have brighten my spirits. I just keep telling myself God doesnt close a door without opening a window. And maybe just having the one kid I do have in care is enough, for me and my daughter (who is autistic and has a hard time with crowds). The one boy I have now is like my own kid and he LOVES coming here and I have great relationship with his mom and dad. So I will concentrate on that and embrace the fact that maybe my afterschools will be less stress free and anxiety free. I had major anxiety at this last kids daily pick up and drop off just waiting for a complaint or something. I knew it was a bad fit. It just sucks for the income loss.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Ouch ~ that surely does suck when it comes in threes like that ... but I do believe that everything happens for a reason in life and we just need to be detetive to figure it out ... my hope is bigger and better clients are around the corner for you!

And to answer your thread title question no not all clients are that unreliable ... but since they do not where a sign that says 'I just might screw you over if it suits me' I always do things to protect my income as best I can for the inevitable possibility of clients leaving unexpectedly!

Always get paid in advance of service .... they are less likely to bolt when laid off or whatever if they have already budgeted to have paid you for two weeks of care so they might as well 'finish out the two weeks' giving you more time to find a replacement!

It is one thing to 'ask' people to give you X amount of notice but if you truly want/need proper notice of termination ~ make sure you keep a deposit equal to the amount of notice you want! A deposit that is clearly defined as non refundable and can only be applied to the last weeks of care provide the proper notice has been given by the client or provider. If for some reason you want a client GONE but do not have legal grounds to terminate with 'cause' you can always choose to 'waive' that rule and refund the deposit verses giving notice yourself and having to keep serving them but at least than the ball is your court financially! Most providers require a two week or a month notice and therefore equal amount of security deposit!

Sending you some better days ahead vibes!

[MeMe]

THanks - how do you have that worded in your contract .. how much of a deposit do you require when new clients sign on. I have had 2 now screw me out of their last payments. One being a child with major behavioural issues (like so bad the school would not release him to me and called the local police department. I refused to take him home with me even when the mother asked him to be released into my custody). She never paid me for the days before that I had watched him. And the 3rd kid to leave on a Friday (flex days), the mother never paid me for that Friday or the following Monday on which he never showed up. I never heard or saw from the mother again!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Sure my contract in regards to these issues reads


 I have provided a security deposit of $_______, equal to two weeks fees at the time of enrollment to confirm a space within the program. I am aware that this deposit is non-refundable should I change my mind and not enroll in the program. I understand that the security deposit can be applied towards my end of service notice period provided I give proper written notice. If I do not give 10 business days written notice of my intent to withdrawal from the program I acknowledge that the security deposit will be kept in lieu of written notice and any outstanding fees due to changes in fee structure during enrollment or other fees will still be owed and are my responsibility to pay to the provider for services rendered.
 I understand that fees are due in advance of care by noon on Fridays as per my payment schedule. I acknowledge that a late payment fee will be charged if fees are not paid by the close of program on the Friday of my scheduled pay day.

[MeMe]

So in regards to this last particular case - they paid on Monday morning for this week and next week already and gave notice today that technically next Friday is her last day even though they arenèt bringing her. Would I be responsible to pay her back her security deposit

[Inspired by Reggio]

That is not a full two weeks notice seeing as today is Thursday ~ next Friday would be only 6 business days not 10 ~ so in my program if they were giving notice today it would have to be for Thursday November 29th at the earliest if they want their security deposit applied to their last two weeks of care .... it would also be in their best interest to make their last day FRIDAY the 30th because to split a week would make their last 4 days be at the PART TIME rate using up more of their deposit on them cause I charge less for a full time space than I do for a 'daily rate' ;)

If they were however giving proper notice ~ aka at least two weeks ~ than I would apply the SD and if there is a credit owning because they have prepaid for a week than yes I would refund that too them on their last day of care.

IME though since they had already paid for the service and the deposit has been budgeted for my clients when laid off have just USED the service rather than asking for a refund in hopes that they can find another job and keep the space after all.

[Momof4]

Ouch MeMe, that really sucks! Ah, the first horrible year while you learn the 'red flags' in families you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole after a few years of experience. Unfortunately, most of us started out that way for the first few years. There's definitely a learning curve when it comes to interviewing and accepting clients and perfecting our contracts. I wish you much luck with your next clients. Always remember that you are in charge of your business and the parents sign contracts and must be held to what they agreed. It's a legal piece of paper, that contract.

[MeMe]

Yes the red flags. Actually had one early with this family. First day of care I hand over a invoice for 2 weeks of before AND after school care. They protested - why a bill already, dont you let us pay at the end of the week, what if she is sick then you have to re imburse us etc. I was like huh, no you pay for 5 days of before and after school care, whether she is here or not. If I am unable then you dont pay. They protested that they had never ever seen it done like this before in a child care setting.

Then they wanted to pay weekly. I said no its bi weekly every Monday.

Then after a week they decide that one week she will be before and after and the following week just after school, one parent will be taking her to school in the morning. Ummmm contract commitment says you do before and after school every day 5 days a week.

Then it was - she wont be here this day or this day (they still got charged for all of it as I just gave a set charge for 2 weeks and billed them that whether she was here or not) so as an example she now is only here one day next week, but they paid for 5 days.

And I am seriously considering not accepting only children. Not like 1 yr olds that have no siblings, but I only watch older children for before and after and let me tell you HUGE difference between kids with siblings and only children. (joking I know i can't control that)

And when parents give 4 pages of Kid Information on their child - huge red flag. Ummm the kid is here for 30 minutes after school, I don't need a novel about their likes and dislikes, sleep patterns, pee patterns etc. And when a child is 4 and still in a "bubble" with "rents - another sign. Texting them to say we are going to the park afterschool shouldn't result in a thread of 5-6 messages about it.

[Momof4]

The big problem is all over your last post: THEY decided & THEY protested. To quote my spunky 1 year old daycare girl: No no no!!!

This is your daycare business and the contract is between two parties but they are your rules and when a client signs on they are accepting the rules and agreeing to abide by them, ALL of them, without question. All questions should be asked and answered at the interview and when the contract is signed and shouldn't be questioned even once after that time. Now that's a good client/HDCP relationship. Unfortunately, the family in your care does not fit into this category. Good luck finding a great family to replace them. You deserve respect!