Husbands!!!! Don't get it...Vent!

[Mom of 3]

My husband totally doesn't appreciate what I do! Nor does he understand. He even said the other day. "Your job isn't as hard as mine cause your at home." In more words trying to disguise what he was saying. He wonders why I'm so tired when he gets home and then is in a bad mood when he doesn't get any (you know). I've felt like a lump lately and he is not helping. The more tired I am the less understanding he is:mad:
It's like I should be jumping up and down when I see him and direct all my attention to him. He couldn't possibly help me with something.......Argg gggggh

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh honey total empathy over here!

When I worked in Childcare outside the home my spouse was AWESOME around the house - in fact he did MORE than me to be honest cause I worked a 9 hour day plus hour commute time so he got home first and prepped started dinner and did laundry and stuff ... when I switched to being home suddenly I am expected to be June Cleaver!

Best thing I ever did was get him to cover for a DR appointment for me ...he did less than 2 hours and part of that they were napping ... came home to a house that had explored with mess and he is outside with them sweating like a pig with exhaustion ... got a huge hug and apology for the times he thought I did nothing all day "you make it look so easy I had no idea how hard this is!!"

[BrightEyes]

Husbands really don't get it......until they experience it themselves :)

[gcj]

do you have your own kids? I"m thinking not because usually they at least get how "challenging" a couple of hours with 1 or 2 can be and therefore can imagine more kids for 10 hour days. Yikes. How disappointing to be so misunderstood. Really, you can't have your own kids...I just don't understand.
Totally book an appointment at a time when the only solution is to have him cover for you. Even like just the last half hour to close up or something. He'll get it pretty quick.

[Crayola kiddies]

Well her screen name is "mom of 3". !!!!

[gcj]

right....a little off on my detective work :p It's late...what can I say.

So, 3?!?! Has he ever been alone with them? I'm sure they drive him crazy...?!? Test his patience? Fight? Bicker? Need something every 40 seconds? How does he not get it?

[Crayola kiddies]

He's a guy !!!! Most of them only think about themselves anyway !

[mimi]

Men are from Mars, Women from Venus. This book has been around for many years and when I first read it I had a few aha moments. It reduced my frustration with my 1st husband by understanding how a man communicates and hears thinks differently, but not enough to not divorce him :no: as I also realized, they really don't change no matter how much we lecture!! BTW, my 2nd hubby is a star, polar opposite of the first so he is a keeper.:yes:

[gcj]

I have to admit that my husbands gets what we do. He appreciates the sacrifices I made to raise our kids myself and understands the challenges of the daycare...he really does. I would just love it if he could actually think about asking me how my day was. Pretend to care or think past himself and inquire about me..... that'll be the day!

[Sandbox Sally]

If my husband ever DARED say anything like that to me, I would take off for the weekend and leave the three kids with him alone.

My husband acknowledges that child rearing is hard. It took a long time before he came to that realization though, and during his learning process, there was a whole lot of nothing ("you know"), and I made sure he knew why. :laugh:

[Wonderwiper]

HUGS....everyone knows boys are dumb, ha ha! All it took at my house was leaving my hubby with our first newborn for ONE hour to go grocery shopping for him to realize how hard caring for children can be!! Now, getting him to do anything around the house, well that's a whole different story!!!!!

[Mamma_Mia]

do you have your own kids?

My husband is a great provider for our family and takes care of the outside and repairs but wouldn't know my daughter bath or bed time routine. He's only had to bathe her about 3-4 times and thats with me coming in to finsh her off. If I go shopping (ie Walmart) after 1hr I'm alredy getting a message "where are you..." Yeah. Love him but kids DO NOT change everyone. I'm in it alone. My guy has said the same thing....and it kills me that he thinks I don't "work" yet he can't stay 1hr with his OWN kid without loosing his paitence.

He was home for a few days last month and I asked him to watch the kids for 20min while I went to pick something up. I'm talking about 2 3yr olds and a 5ys old nd he was paniked!! Really?? Those are the EASY ones!!

It's taken a while to build up my thick-skin but I just don't listen or just don't DO IT. When he complains about it being cluttered around the house....I will clean it but will be too TIRED for anything "special for him" for another week. He gets the hint. Help me or get NOTHING! Dummys they are!

[Mamma_Mia]

when I switched to being home suddenly I am expected to be June Cleaver!


Haha he's even made the comment of wanting a hot meal ready fo when he gets home - he's a meat, potatoes, veggies & a salad guy.....that week we ate hot dogs, pizza, sandwiches w/ soup....and takeout. I'm one of those..don't tell me to DO something..I wont. He's lucky I didn't make him starve.

[kidlove]

oh how I have daydreamed of having my husband take my job for a day, not because mine is easier than his, he works road construction and I have seen him in action, he's like a robot who feels no pain and has energy all day. That said, He makes comments on occassion like: "you were home all day, why didn't you get it done?" or "I wish I could stay home all day like you do!" WHAT?....I have to admit there are many huge perks of being home, I can do my laundry during the day, or clean things I would be able to if not home, but people need to remember, we are all juggling multiple children, their needs and sched, AND all the natural duties of the "stay at home Mom".....right now my numbers are low and I get bored through the day due to the fact that I feel I have little to do sometimes. BUT, I have spent many years sweating and running just to keep everything going and everyone happy. This is a tough job, Hubbies...I dare you to try!!

[Inspired by Reggio]

I hear ya Kidlove ... there are days when it is so nice and 'slow' and I get lots done extra and I do cherish those days because they so makes up for the days when all hell breaks loose and it is what I call DAYCARE MUTINY DAY!

So one is teething and miserable and another has decided that they want to master climbing EVERYTHING and three and four spent the weekend at WWF wrestling with dad and are not reenacting every show including trying to high jump a their peer off a chair while the fifth has decided that they want to master 'abstract art' during quiet time and they quietly finger paint all over the wall with the only medium they had available ~ their POOP while you thought they were napping cause they did not make a peep and you were none the wiser to the smell gave them away :rolleyes:

[mimi]

When my hubby comes home, I have seen his eyes linger over the cheerios on the floor and than go back to me. I just give him the "don't even go there" look and he knows to say NOTHING.:laugh: