2 1/2 year old still on baby food??

[Manue]

So I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl i watch, she is only casual (once or twice a week) ). I dont provide meals (parents are aware of this, it is in our contract) and everytime she comes over and i open her lunch bag all she has in there is 2 jars of baby food, yes baby food. Usually a jar of strawberries and a jar of vegetables (jars say for ages 6 months and up, so the first foods). Sometimes there will be a yogurt or a piece of cheese. She is in my care from 9:15am to 4:30pm. I usually end up giving her some of our food as she is still hungry, i have mentioned this to the mom (who by the way is a nurse) and she just kind of shrugs it off. She also always have a soother in her mouth and her bottle of formula. I dont like to judge as we all have our opinions, but my kids NEVER went past the age of 1 with soothers and bottles, they were also both on complete solids by that time too. I am always so shocked when she comes here, they still treat her like she is an infant :(

[BrightEyes]

Wow.....

I wonder why? If mom is a nurse she should know better unless there is a medical reason...but she should tell you if there is.

My daughter was off of her soother at 6mths, bottle and formula at 1yr. I will admit I still give my daughter a jar of baby food once in a while but that's because she doesn't always get the nutrients she needs do to a texture issue. But I always give her the finger foods for each food group first or I mix the jar of veggies into her cereal. And def by 2 and a half I would hope she would be off of baby food completely!!!

Have you asked her if there is a reason why she is still on baby food and formula? I would because she really shouldn't be. My doctor advised me to NOT give my daughter formula after 1yr.

[fruitloop]

Wow, that's not enough food for her in a day! No wonder she's still hungry after. I'd have a serious talk with mom and ask her why she is feeding her kid jarred crap. Why not real strawberries and real veggies? At 2.5yrs she should totally 100% be on all table food AND eating it all by herself. That poor kid is starving to death on that amount of food. She should not be on formula and it shouldn't be in a BOTTLE. WTF! This mom sounds like she is having a hard time letting her child be 2.5yrs old. I'd definitely be having a chat about it. That is messed up!

[Momof4]

Unbelievable! It's hard to respond to this. Ok, I had a child start with me this summer who was still on his soother 24/7. Within a few months I had him completely weaned off of it and the Dad talked the Mom into doing the same at home. I think the Mom wanted to keep him her baby. I tried saying things to the Mom like: he'll always be your baby, even when he's grown, etc. I believe it, my children are adults and they are still my babies.

But keeping them stifled and not giving them proper food and nourishment is not right. Babying them is not right because they don't get the gross motor and fine motor skills. Keeping a soother and bottle in their mouths is setting them up for speech impediments and tooth decay. I could go on and on about this, but I think those are the worse problems and you can bring them up to the Mom gently, being helpful. You will be doing it for the little girl and that's part of doing your job. You can try anyway.

[Manue]

I know, its crazy. I did mention it to her mom once and her excuse was "I know but she is my 3rd and my last and my little baby". And im not very good with confrontation so I didnt want to push it :(
And yes I also give my 2 1/2 year old son those squeezable fruit/veggie in the baby/toddler section but thats WITH alot of other food, i do give him all the fruits and veggies I can but as most toddlers are he is a picky eater, but i always make sure to give him lots so that hopefully one day he will finally eat them lol
And when she comes in with her soother in her mouth and her bottle in the other, i always ask if i can have them and she gives them to me no problem, i put them in her bag and give them to her only for nap time when she asks then they go right back in her bag after nap. She has no problem with not having a bottle or soother here (except for nap of course). Urrrg some parents....

[bright sparks]

Don't mean to hijack but I have an equally crazy story like this...

This makes me think of one of my current day care families. The dcg came to me at 12 months old and didn't eat ANYTHING.... Her mum was sending her with 3 bottles of formula and it took for me to instigate the weaning and also to get rid of the bottles. Her eating took a good 2 months before she would eat anything. I suggested sending familiar foods from home at one point because she wouldn't eat anything. They sent her pizza shredded up WTF!!! So not only was the food she was getting at home junk food but they also fed it to her like a 6-8 month old. In the end I said take the bottles away and consitantly offer her the same food you are eating at meal times with no alternatives if she doesn't eat. Also to have no milk in the day. She is very stubborn and head strong and I know mum and dad were worried that she wasn't eating anything, but until she learned that people weren't going to give in to her then she was never going to get past this.

This girl still wasn't settling. crying, overly sensitive, whiney etc etc So dad picks up one day and comments on how they are struggling to get her to sleep and how she only settles if both parents are in the room. I'm thinking he means both of them put her to bed.NO NO NO.... he went on to say that they both have to get into bed and pretend to be sleeping and then she will go off. I asked if she was in their room and he said yes. This was 2 weeks ago and she is 18 months old now...What the hell..... I told him in no uncertain terms that she needs to be in her own room immediatly as she is having social issues because she is being babied far to much. Of course I said it kindly and worded it in a compassionate way asking them if there was a room that they could set up for her and also that I understand that the bedtime routine may be difficult for the first little while with lots of tears but that it was for her best and also for their best to teach her to self sooth and sleep alone. They did it last weekend and it was a success...phew

I put this down to lack of support in parenting. The mum is constantly asking me for advice and once she brought her child with diaper rash but no cream and when I asked her for some she said don't worry about it she will be fine for the day I put some on this morning OMG....poor kid.

As for your dcm being a nurse, I'd love to know her name(obviously not really but...) so I can avoid receiving care from her in the future. If after 2 kids already she can't have the brains to do whats best developmentally for this child instead of selfishly keeping her a baby as long as possible, God only knows what kind of nurse she is. Ultimatly IMO she is damaging this child and goodness knows what else is going on.

If this was me, I'd change the contract and provide all the food for this child. Even if it was at my cost because somebody needs to have the best interest of the child at heart, and apparently she doesnt. Take charge while she is at your place and ask mum to no longer bring her with a soother and bottle in hand as it's confusing to the other children of a similar age and that you are trying to promote independance.

Good Luck with this task and just focus all your energy on the child as I imagine this parent is a lost cause...

[Cadillac]

I have a new litle girl (almost two) who is still on baby food. The reason is because mom says she has a terrible gag reflex and also because she simply refuses to eat solid food.

Part of the reason she was sent to my care was to help teach her about solid food (mom and dad give in I suppose).

I feel it's a texture thing with her. Some kids are EXTREMELY sensitive to it.

You sohlud tell mom that you need the reason behind the baby food. She should tell you. Dont let her shrug her shoulders. You'll end up feeding this kid forever and mom will probably be ok with it.

Maybe the kid just loves babyfood but mom needs to know that her child needs more food to be full

[bright sparks]

I have had a few kids with bad gag reflexs but the longer you leave it the harder it will be for them to get over it. Plus you have the added problem of the strong will of a child at this age which makes weaning 10x harder.

[sunnydays]

While I fully agree that a 2.5 year old should not be eating only baby food and what she is sent for the day is clearly not enough nourishment...I do take issue with the statement that a child should be in his/her own room at some specified point. I don't think it has anything to do with being babied...many people choose to share a room or even a bed with their children. It can be personal values and beliefs or cultural practices...there is nothing wrong with this. Obviously the parents are struggling if they have to lie down and pretend to sleep...but that is for them to work out. Again, I find myself saying, we don't fit all into the same box as parents and as families. Personally, I don't want my children to turn out like many of the individualistic, spoiled, egocentric children that I see in our society...they have no sense of family, no sense of caring for one another...every one is in it for themselves...and personally I see it starting right from day one. each child has their own room, their own toys, their own material goods and they are taught not to share them....that nobody has the right to enter their space, touch their things, etc. I am just trying to show another point of view on why some parents may choose to share a room or bed with their children. Not saying that is why these parents are doing it...but I just hate all the judegment and parents telling other parents how to raise their kids.




Don't mean to hijack but I have an equally crazy story like this...

This makes me think of one of my current day care families. The dcg came to me at 12 months old and didn't eat ANYTHING.... Her mum was sending her with 3 bottles of formula and it took for me to instigate the weaning and also to get rid of the bottles. Her eating took a good 2 months before she would eat anything. I suggested sending familiar foods from home at one point because she wouldn't eat anything. They sent her pizza shredded up WTF!!! So not only was the food she was getting at home junk food but they also fed it to her like a 6-8 month old. In the end I said take the bottles away and consitantly offer her the same food you are eating at meal times with no alternatives if she doesn't eat. Also to have no milk in the day. She is very stubborn and head strong and I know mum and dad were worried that she wasn't eating anything, but until she learned that people weren't going to give in to her then she was never going to get past this.

This girl still wasn't settling. crying, overly sensitive, whiney etc etc So dad picks up one day and comments on how they are struggling to get her to sleep and how she only settles if both parents are in the room. I'm thinking he means both of them put her to bed.NO NO NO.... he went on to say that they both have to get into bed and pretend to be sleeping and then she will go off. I asked if she was in their room and he said yes. This was 2 weeks ago and she is 18 months old now...What the hell..... I told him in no uncertain terms that she needs to be in her own room immediatly as she is having social issues because she is being babied far to much. Of course I said it kindly and worded it in a compassionate way asking them if there was a room that they could set up for her and also that I understand that the bedtime routine may be difficult for the first little while with lots of tears but that it was for her best and also for their best to teach her to self sooth and sleep alone. They did it last weekend and it was a success...phew

I put this down to lack of support in parenting. The mum is constantly asking me for advice and once she brought her child with diaper rash but no cream and when I asked her for some she said don't worry about it she will be fine for the day I put some on this morning OMG....poor kid.

As for your dcm being a nurse, I'd love to know her name(obviously not really but...) so I can avoid receiving care from her in the future. If after 2 kids already she can't have the brains to do whats best developmentally for this child instead of selfishly keeping her a baby as long as possible, God only knows what kind of nurse she is. Ultimatly IMO she is damaging this child and goodness knows what else is going on.

If this was me, I'd change the contract and provide all the food for this child. Even if it was at my cost because somebody needs to have the best interest of the child at heart, and apparently she doesnt. Take charge while she is at your place and ask mum to no longer bring her with a soother and bottle in hand as it's confusing to the other children of a similar age and that you are trying to promote independance.

Good Luck with this task and just focus all your energy on the child as I imagine this parent is a lost cause...

[kidlove]

If there is no other reason why she needs to be on baby food no allergies or gag reflex or what not, I would simply address this with the mother and inform her for proper development and digestion she should really be on solid foods rather than infant food. maybe you can suggest to slowly transition her to solids? It sounds like the Mother may just be a little lazy, it is much easier to grab baby food each day rather than throw together a quick bag lunch....I don't agree with this unless there is a real reason. I also DO NOT ALLOW soothers in my home if they child is above the age of about 1.5, these things are a block for proper speech development and a germ spread, when I have had kids come through my door in the past with them, before they even take off their shoes I will point to the shelf where it must be placed "by the child" and left until they leave my home. :) The bottle is the same thing for me as the soother, I would tell the Mother, IF she really feels it nec to give the child formula at her age, I guess that is OKAY for now, but it needs to be consumed from a "big kid" cup, not a bottle. This mom needs to understand she is holder her child back from developing properly by keeping her in the infant stage rather than encouraging her to grow as other children, there are so many skills that come along with eating solid foods and drinki8ng from a cup. are her bm's normal or runny? is she pooty training? does she feed herself, does she talk?:huh:

[jazmic]

If you are afraid of confrontation, then just bring it to the mom's attention in a friendly manner. Say "*** is still hungry even after eating all the food that you bring for her, so I'll need you to provide some more food for her." Then just say something like, " I'm sure you don't want **** to be hungry during the day so here are some suggestions of food that will fill her up better." You could print out the information on this link and give it to her: http://www.babycenter.ca/a9149/solids-by-age-24-to-36-months. It doesn't matter that she is a nurse. She obviously doesn't know any better and should be given the information.

[bright sparks]

While I fully agree that a 2.5 year old should not be eating only baby food and what she is sent for the day is clearly not enough nourishment...I do take issue with the statement that a child should be in his/her own room at some specified point. I don't think it has anything to do with being babied...many people choose to share a room or even a bed with their children. It can be personal values and beliefs or cultural practices...there is nothing wrong with this. Obviously the parents are struggling if they have to lie down and pretend to sleep...but that is for them to work out. Again, I find myself saying, we don't fit all into the same box as parents and as families. Personally, I don't want my children to turn out like many of the individualistic, spoiled, egocentric children that I see in our society...they have no sense of family, no sense of caring for one another...every one is in it for themselves...and personally I see it starting right from day one. each child has their own room, their own toys, their own material goods and they are taught not to share them....that nobody has the right to enter their space, touch their things, etc. I am just trying to show another point of view on why some parents may choose to share a room or bed with their children. Not saying that is why these parents are doing it...but I just hate all the judegment and parents telling other parents how to raise their kids.


Thankyou for your perspective on this. In a forum post it is so hard to give every single tiny bit of information surrounding a subject so its really easy for the poster to miss a vital piece of info out or for the reader to take it the wrong way.

In my way of telling the parents to put their child in their own room, I advised them and I backed it up with information as to way I was advising it. We had a discussion about it and I was kind and considerate of their feelings and parenting style. Obviously in the post the tone shows that I was shocked and gobsmacked of the situation but I was respectful about it and did not order them to move their child or tell them that they were doing anything wrong. Simply that it may be beneficial to transition her into her own room as it was them who expressed their difficulties to me and asked me for advice.

Everyone judges, its a natural human reaction.It's just what you do as a responce to this. I have known the family long enough and know enough of the consistant issues they have through the lack of support, to be able to know why their child is sharing a room with them. I was also very delicate in approaching the subject as I know they have some financial issues and wasn't sure if it was a case of not having a room for their child. I am a very kind and compassionate person, so please don't hate on me for advising parent's who asked me in the first place how they should deal with this. I am all good with people and their choices on how to parent, but if it effects me directly in my daycare because they have a socially delayed child, then hell yes I'm going to speak up. It doesn't make me a hardass. Theres just a way of doing it without stepping over the line, respecting the parents choices while also advocating number one for the childrens needs and best interests. Not in my opinion or experience in parenting but based on facts surrounding child development.

I also have issues with people telling parent's how to parent(believe me I know first hand being a teenage mother to 2 kids), but how many children get screwed up because nobody speaks up for them when a situation becomes detrimental to their very wellbeing?? I may not make a difference immediatly or get brownie points for speaking up, but maybe it will make the parent's think a little differently about what they are doing and make better judgement calls. And of course, maybe it wont.

[monkeymama]

Wow! Is all I have to say lol....I dont do jarred foods, but thats not really the point. As other posters have stated, at 2 1/2 this child should be self-feeding what everyone else is eating! This is stunting her development, I am sure....how does the child react when she sees other kids eating all kinds of great foods and she is stuck with that jarred crap? I would be having a serious conversation with mom and dad.....on the same note, I had a dcb start in the summer who at 3 still had a soother. I point blank asked the parents why, and that it needed to be gone. I hope Im not coming across as too harsh because thats really not my nature...I think I am just in shock from reading this point, I almost cant believe it!

[Manue]

So the little girl is in my care today, her grandma dropped her off so i couldnt talk to the mother. Out of curiosity at snack time i DIDNT give her the jarred food, i offered her a nutrigrain bar, cheese, and cherios just to see if it was her gag reflex or just laziness. The little girl ate it ALL!!!! She is a very quiet and easy little girl so i didnt think it was because she was stubborn either. I have her again next week before the Christmas holidays so i will talk to the mother and try to explain to her that this poor little girl needs more nourishment, and for today i will offer her a healthy and nutritious lunch! Thanks for all the support and advice ;)

[Crayola kiddies]

I had a family that had a 3 yr old that came everyday with 6 soothers .... One in his mouth and the other 5 on his fingers like rings .... Yuk .... Anyway he knew he was not allowed them here and he put them in his bag and it really wasn't an issue but they are gone now and I have a new family also with a 3 yr old and lo and behold after being here for about two months he walks in with a soother in his mouth .... Well I'm sure my jaw dropped because the mom turned around and said oh I forgot to leave that in the car ..... About a week later the dad picked up and I heard the dad saying to the kid "if you give up your soother I'll buy you a four wheeler" ..... Are you freaking kidding me..... So I chimed in abd asked the dad if he knew about the "soother fairy". Dad said no so I told him the boy puts his soother in a big gift bag and they put it on the front porch and thru the night the soother fairy comes and takes the soother and leaves a nice toy however she doesn't have four wheelers but I'm sure she has a nice tonka truck or something" .... Dad was so happy to learn of the soother fairy and said she would be visiting soon and she did!!!!!

[Crayola kiddies]

So the little girl is in my care today, her grandma dropped her off so i couldnt talk to the mother. Out of curiosity at snack time i DIDNT give her the jarred food, i offered her a nutrigrain bar, cheese, and cherios just to see if it was her gag reflex or just laziness. The little girl ate it ALL!!!! She is a very quiet and easy little girl so i didnt think it was because she was stubborn either. I have her again next week before the Christmas holidays so i will talk to the mother and try to explain to her that this poor little girl needs more nourishment, and for today i will offer her a healthy and nutritious lunch! Thanks for all the support and advice ;)

Glad to hear she will eat regular food ..... It's important to start good eating habits when they are young.... Surprised the mom being a nurse doesn't get this even if it is her "baby"

[momof2cuties]

Formula and baby food... 2.5 years old? That's not enough nutrients for a child that age. As for the soother thing, I haven't had to deal with that, but constantly having to handle a object that's been in a childs mouth all day, yeah don't want those germs!!

[sunnydays]

Bright Sparks: I didn't mean to attack you...I certainly don't think that you are being disrepectful toward the parents and I am sorry if that was how it sounded. If they asked you for advice, then you did the right thing by giving it and hopefully it helped them. I think I just get tired of a certain tone that I see here on the forum (not pointing to you directly at all) whereby everyone seems to know what is best. I guess my point was that "normal" is quite relative and varies from culture to culture and from family to family and also changed through time. Doctor's used to advocate bottles only and now they advocate breatfeeding..etc etc. While I do agree that if something is affecting the child negatively, then we can offer some support, I think it is the extreme "this is they way to raise a child" tone that I was reacting to (again not you specifically, but somethign I see from many on here). I guess I was just trying to offer another perspective on things...but in no way meant to attack you for giving advice!

[bright sparks]

Bright Sparks: I didn't mean to attack you...I certainly don't think that you are being disrepectful toward the parents and I am sorry if that was how it sounded. If they asked you for advice, then you did the right thing by giving it and hopefully it helped them. I think I just get tired of a certain tone that I see here on the forum (not pointing to you directly at all) whereby everyone seems to know what is best. I guess my point was that "normal" is quite relative and varies from culture to culture and from family to family and also changed through time. Doctor's used to advocate bottles only and now they advocate breatfeeding..etc etc. While I do agree that if something is affecting the child negatively, then we can offer some support, I think it is the extreme "this is they way to raise a child" tone that I was reacting to (again not you specifically, but somethign I see from many on here). I guess I was just trying to offer another perspective on things...but in no way meant to attack you for giving advice!

Your response is appreciated. I would have to say I generally agree with what you say about the forum. It is so easy that things get lost in translation when it comes to online communication, and then all hell breaks loose with strong personalities coliding. I am all about communication and I generally, if it's put in the right way, appreciate feedback to my comments. It can really make a person stop and process things from a different perspective. This can force change when it is needed but also reinforce our own beliefs. Thank you

[gcj]

That is just shocking! Poor kid. I almost see that as failure to provide.....that's not right. And a nurse! Like she doesn't know....what about the Dad...he must think his wife is nuts!

I'm just shocked. I've never EVER heard of that!

[Manue]

So tonight the little girls mom came to pick her up (I didnt have very much time with her as I was trying to rush out the door to my daughters school concert), I kindly told her that her daughter was still hungry after eating the food she was sent. I tried telling her that she needed more food and that she really liked the solid foods i offered her and her response was "Great, she doesnt have any allergies so feel free to giver her food when she is still hungry". Again I only had a couple of minutes and before i could REMIND her that in our contract i DO NOT SUPPLY FOOD she was already turned around and walking out the front door :( I will of course continue to give this poor little girl some solids while she is in my care but unfortunatly she is only with me 1 or 2 days a week :( What happens at home? My heart goes out to her, but beyound what I am doing while she is with me I feel there is nothing more i can do...

[Crayola kiddies]

Your daycare doesn't provide food ?? I have never heard of that before. I wouldn't want parents to provide the food ... Too much bickering between kids cause they want what the other kid has and maybe what I feel is healthy the parent may have different ideas. And then I gotta store it all in my fridge.

[BlueRose]

Have you thought of handing her a bill for $5/day for the food you are providing. That just might be the push she needs to start bringing more food.

[Manue]

Your daycare doesn't provide food ?? I have never heard of that before. I wouldn't want parents to provide the food ... Too much bickering between kids cause they want what the other kid has and maybe what I feel is healthy the parent may have different ideas. And then I gotta store it all in my fridge.
No I dont provide food, most daycares around here dont. I have never had a problem with kids wanting other kids food, the kids have never bickered about it. I have a seperate fridge for the daycare.

[Manue]

Have you thought of handing her a bill for $5/day for the food you are providing. That just might be the push she needs to start bringing more food.
I might, I just dont want to risk loosing her :(

[BlueRose]

I might, I just dont want to risk loosing her

How about handing her a bill for this week, then tell her that if she starts bring more age appropriate food in a reasonable amount to fill her child up, (starting Monday) then you will forget about this bill. BUT you will bill her from now on if you have to use your own food.

This will tell her you mean business and hopefully she will rather bring more food then pay. If you think she might not mind paying the extra money, make it $10/day instead of $5.00 to help insure she doesn't just say Okay feed my kid I will pay.

[kidlove]

Sounds like you got your answer!!! She is just lazy, think about it, it is so easy to go to the baby food isle and fill up on baby food in the cart, then when you have primped yourself for work and you are ready to run your kid to daycare you just grab the bag and throw in a fruit and veggie for the day. She really does need to know that the child is too old for baby food and needs an appropriate meal provided each day. IF you want to go above and beyond Your Requirements than offer her the food prepared each day for a fee, at 5$ a day you should be able to make profit if you budget right, it may be worth it, but before you consider doing that consider the fact you may get resentful over the making of all her meals because the Mother is choosing not to!