How would you respond??

[Wonderwiper]

I have a new child starting soon and his mother recently emailed saying she planned to drop by occasionally to see how he is doing once he's settled in. How would you respond to this???? I have no problem with her showing up unexpectedly, however, I feel it is not fair for the child to see mom but not get to leave with her. So, I want to say no, unless she takes the child home,
but obviously need to explain myself properly. Any ideas?

[playfelt]

When asked during an interview about my "open door policy" that is exactly what I tell them. You may stop by, you may stay no more than 10 minutes and you must take your child home with while I continue on with the rest of our day.

On the taking home issue. It is a matter of trust. When dropping off a child, a parent says I will come back for you. IF they come back and dont' take the child they have broken that trust.

[fruitloop]

I always tell parents that I have an open door policy. They are more than welcome to come any time (except during nap time) BUT the rule is if you come by, you take your child home with you as it is both disruptive and hard on the child to have mom or dad come and not take them home. They also run the risk of the trust factor as well. How is a child suppose to trust that the parent is going to come back to pick them up when the show up but don't take them home.

[Wonderwiper]

Thanks! That was what I was thinking but I like your wording of the trust issue! My open door policy is a bit different in that I am uncomfortable leaving my front door unlocked as my daycare is in the basement. Parents are welcome to show up unannounced but have to ring the bell. Does that seem reasonable?

[mimi]

Of course it is reasonable to lock your door. They do in most schools and your security is just as important. The only reason why a parent wants to drop by is to reassure themselves that all is well. It does not benefit dck to have parents show up for a visit. I once had a parent drop by with forgotten mittens a couple hours after drop off. All heck broke lose with their child when parent went to leave as seeing parent at this time of day was out of routine and threw this poor child for a loop. Parent had to take child home. Lesson learned for this unsuspecting parent!!

[Momof4]

My doors are always locked too and I've never had a parent ask to come pop in unexpectedly or for a visit. I would simply explain to the dcMom that her child would be confused and unhappy if she left again without taking him/her home so it wouldn't be a good idea. I do have one dcDad who picks up his son early once in a while because he finishes work early sometimes but he knows that 3:30 is the earliest he can come so his child has nap, diaper change and afternoon snack all finished.

But when a child is new I don't mind if the dcMom comes in for the first 1/2 hour of our day. My newest family was doing that and the Mom quickly realized that it was better if she just left her child at the door. I told her I thought it was best that the child learned that his Mom is confident and happy and encouraging him to go to daycare and play with his friends every morning.

It is all about trust between the parents and the caregivers. So true.

[apples and bananas]

I don't have an open door policy. I understand some parents will be concerned, however, part of a home daycare is trust.

If this was one of my clients I would let them know that they are welcome to pick up their child whenever they'd like. However, I do not allow parents to drop in and leave again. They can call if they'd like. When a parent drops in and then leaves not only does it confuse their own child, it throws off the rest of the children.

All the best, I hope this parent doesn't become a problem for you.

[daycarewhisperer]

I do not allow this. I do one arrival, one departure, per parent... per child... per day. If a parent arrives I answer the door and the child is sent to the door dressed to go home.

I don't allow parents in the play room. It upsets the other children and their child behaves badly. I also don't allow parents to parent their child under my roof. If the parent is visiting the parent would be in charge of the child at that time. It's too risky to allow that on my property. Parents have completely different rules for their childs behavior in my home than the rules I have. Parents do not have the knowledge or expertise to know how their parenting can affect my money and my business.

I understand parents wanting this experience but in truth their presence changes the setting so dramatically that what they claim they are after becomes impossible because they are present.

I explain this upfront so that parents understand before they sign on that I don't allow in playroom visits. I do have an open door policy that only includes that they may come at any time and pick their child up. That is all I am required to do. I give immediate access to their child. I don't give access to the other day care kids.

I have had parents agree to this at sign on and change their minds after being here. I have terminated twice in my twenty years and this issue was one of the two terms. If a parent insists that they must do visits with the other day care children then my services don't meet their needs. I would rather loose one client than take the risks that come with parents being on site parenting and the poor behavior of their child and my other children because of their presence.

[Wonderwiper]

In my old house I had a policy that I met parents atnthe door to receive/ return children....ie parents never came in past my entry way. With my new basement set up, how would you suggest imhandle pick ups? Does anyone leave all the children alone downstairs to run to the door? I was thinking of having everyone read books in our front room upstairs right before pickups start so we are close to the door.

[Wonderwiper]

All the best, I hope this parent doesn't become a problem for you

Don't worry a&b....I am totally no nonsense, we do not NEED the daycare income to feed the family so I am confident that I will be able to stand my ground!

[playfelt]

I find that the parents that want to drop in and have multiple visits before care starts that it has nothing to do with the child and is all about the parent's issues. That is something they are going to have to come to grips with and me and my daycare children are not going to help them do it at our expense.

After I tell them about the drop in anytime and then leave with your child rule I also remind them that if they begin to abuse the privilege that it will be grounds for dismissal because I have an obligation to the other children to provide a consistent day. That can't happen when children are constantly coming and going, our storytime or craft time is being constantly disrupted.

When I remind parents that if I let them drop in 2-3 times in the week I also have to let the other families drop in that many times and that is a lot of coming and going. And well yes it is generally the newest family that wants to do the drop ins there will come a time when their child has been in care for awhile and I am interviewing other new families for a space in my daycare and then it will be their child that will have to endure the constant disruptions and often there is a lightbulb kind of moment for the new family realizing what I allow them to do now they will have to live through down the road too and don't like that prospect. They then understand why I have my 10 minute - ie say hi, dress your child and go home rule.

[mimi]

At a certain point in the day, for me 5:00 p.m., all dckids are upstairs waiting for pick up. They sit at their lunch table and play with small toys and read books or cuddle with my hubby on the couch. This way no child is left downstair during pick up.

[Dreamalittledream]

In my old house I had a policy that I met parents atnthe door to receive/ return children....ie parents never came in past my entry way. With my new basement set up, how would you suggest imhandle pick ups? Does anyone leave all the children alone downstairs to run to the door? I was thinking of having everyone read books in our front room upstairs right before pickups start so we are close to the door.

I too have a basement playroom (it is set up to prep food etc. with fridge etc.). The children don't have access to the rest of my house except as a pass through for arrival/outdoor play/departure. In the morning I greet the first parent at the door, the rest have to bring their children down to the playroom. At home time, parents know that I keep the door locked until 3pm, after which pick-ups take place by parents walking on in and retrieving their children from our basement playroom.
At no time do I leave my little ones alone in the playroom (I have to chuckle that even my own body has trained itself not to have to go to the bathroom until nap time!). I have about a 45 min to an hour+ window during which pick ups occur (first usually around 3:15, latest @ 4:30)...can't imagine trying to keep them all entertained by the door for that long;). Parents often like to hold back just out of sight of them and watch their child happily playing/doing activities in the playroom.

[Momof4]

I've realized over the years that I'm really lucky to have a long entrance hallway so that my dcparents rarely come into the rest of my house. It's where the outside clothing is taken off and put back on and the backpacks are there on the stairs to my upper level. It keeps the rest of my house clean and saves me from having a parent make themselves comfortable to stay for a while as I've read in others posts.

I can see when parent's cars pull in and I get them heading to the door. I also ask the parents every morning if they will be on time to pick up their child. It may be redundant for the parents but it allows me to make sure the child is prepared to leave daycare and excited to see their parents at the right time. My goal is to keep things running smoothly all day long and to keep our routines intact.

Don't be afraid to do the same and ask the parents every morning if they will be on schedule. I also tell the parents every morning about our plan for the day, park, library, crafting, etc.