Need some advice asap..having a rough go of it!

[Lou]

Hi ladies,
I'm nearly 37 weeks pregnant...when I gave all my families the notice of my maternity leave months ago (September), I planned on working up until Jan 25 (39 weeks preggo). Well, now that I'm here, I'm having a really rough go of it! Up and down, up and down...extreme pelvic pain, back pain, exhaustion and limited patience, lol. I also have constant stinging braxton hicks contractions that really limits my activity. I'm beginning to feel like my progam is lacking and I HATE that!!!
After yesterday and today, I'm seriously considering moving my close date up to the 18th. So, that's one week earlier than planned but it's also NEXT Friday. While my body is hurting, and I really want to stop, I feel horrible that my families will have to scramble to find care for that extra week with less than 2 weeks notice. I would have given them more notce of course, but even 2 weeks ago I felt great and thought I'd have no problem making it to the end. I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!! What do you think?! I know I have to makea decision TODAY to give them as much notice as possible if that's the way I decide to go...

[playfelt]

Have you talked to any of them to know what their plan is for while you are off? It may very well be that the person they have for backup has a space open now and could start as soon as needed.

Is it possible that just a partial reduction will help as in asking anyone that can start making use of their back up plan to do so as soon as they can and then you will only have a few to deal with and hopefully non.

Do you know another mom at home such as on mat leave that might be able to come over and help out a bit each day and allow you to rest more.

At this point your parents won't be expecting full programming anyways so cut it back to watching videos and reading stories and doing whatever you can from the couch such as supervising lots of freeplay. Put away any toys that cause issues to make it easier to supervise.

Weigh the loss of income against having hubby take more time off if he can. Ask parents to pick up as early as possible. Anything that limits the day. Hire a highschool or college student to come after school and hang out to let you rest.

Forget what your mat leave plan is in terms of length but if parents are going to other homes while you are closed then almost for sure those homes have the space reserved so asking them to go now if they can is probably the best plan.

[Lou]

My hubby just suggested sending out an email to the families trying to get a feel for it?? To see if it's possible/easy for them to move up the date?

[Lou]

Awesome advice playfelt...thank you!!

[apples and bananas]

You have to think, if you were working outside the home and you were having this much trouble would you stop early? Probably. You'd probably have your dr sign off on it if it wasn't something that you could just do based on your work situation.

You have to do what's best for you.

You could always get a feel for who can be with out you first. Maybe a lighter load would help? I know I hae a few families that are perfectly fine if I take a day off here and there and only 2 that really desperately need me.

I hope you're feeling better soon!

[Inspired by Reggio]

I agree with Playfelt ~ it cannot hurt to ask them if they can help you out and if many can it might allow you to feel well enough with the lighter load to help those who cannot out for a little longer until your normal scheduled closure ... either way they should have a back up back up plan because well babies do not wait on 'due dates' and if you were to go early due to the extreme physical demands of this job there would be little you could do for them anyway!

[Crayola kiddies]

Do you have your mom or mom in law that could come and help out for the last week or two ? If no then I would do as the other ladies have said ... Talk at pick up to the parents to see if it would cause great hardship to move up a week and I agree at this point there would be no programming just eat sleep a few toys and making sure they are safe, That's it..... Good luck

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

I agree with what the other ladies are saying here. My own babies never arrived on time, and I'm sure by this stage in the game your families have made their arrangements with other caregivers. If it were me, I'd send out an e-mail explaining where you're at, and seeing if it was possible for families to begin their care at the new provider's a week or so early. Take good care of yourself - the last few weeks of a pregnancy are just brutal - and good luck on D-day. :D

[Wonderwiper]

Oh sweetie.....I hear ya! Worked until the bitter end with my second daughter! You really just have to do what is best for you. Honestly, none of my parents cared what I did with the kids as long as they were safe and fed. I spent half the day lying on the floor resting near the end, ha ha! Whatever you end up doing, do not worry at all about your program/ schedule etc.

[Inspired by Reggio]

.... Whatever you end up doing, do not worry at all about your program/ schedule etc.

Well said ~ exactly!

It is the same as when we are 'under the weather' .... if we offer the parents the option of closing the program entirely so we can rest and feel better OR having a movie and pajama day with the kids while we rest and get better IME it would be pretty much ALL of them who would rather send their kids even if it is just for a 'boob tube laid back day' than to take the time off work themselves because their kid would likely end up spending the day in front of the boob tube at home while they tried to 'work from home' so they might as well be with you and they can work and everyone is 'happy' so to speak cause they are getting paid ;)

[Momof4]

Oh Lou, that sounds so uncomfortable and you have to take care of yourself. I know I always worked up until my due dates but I had a sit down office job when I was pregnant for my children. You do NOT have a sit down job! I agree that you should talk to your clients today and start making arrangements so you can take care of yourself. If you run into problems you will never forgive yourself and labour is not a joke. You can't be exhausted when it hits, it's too much work to bring a baby into the world. Take care of YOU! This time it's going to be ok to be a little bit selfish!

[BlueRose]

Listen to your body. If its telling you to slow down or stop do so.
When I was pregnant with my first I had planned to work up to 39 weeks. I was working retail at the time. At 35 weeks my body said enough. I finished the week then at 36 weeks was on mat-leave. It was a good thing I listened, 3 days into week 37, my water broke. So listen. you and the baby are number 1, your clients are not. They will understand ad if they don't not your problem.

[Lou]

Thanks ladies, a LOT. So I emailed them during nap time yesterday, in such a way as it was a strong suggestion...I was sympathetic to the fact that I was giving them little notice, etc etc. It was a good email! lol Anyways, almost all of the parents were extrememly receptive and understanding and all but one are finishing up on Friday of next week. Only one set of parents said they had to be honest and that it was going to be extremely difficult for them to find back up care a week earlier than expected as they hadn't even arranged it for the week after that either?!?! She too, is pregnant and is going on mat leave starting Feb 1, but has waited until the last moment to find back up childcare for her little guy in my care. I mean going from 4 to 1(plus my son) will make my days a ton easier, but the annoyed side of me is slightly ruffled since he is my most difficult to care for (poops like 6 times a day, no exaggeration, needs extra help with everything as he's behind developmentally), but I'll take it!! And just hope that they find someone for him anyways. But I'm beyond thrilled with the understanding and quick responses from the other parents, it will be wonderful to relax some! The days are getting LONG.
Thanks again for your advice!!!

[Inspired by Reggio]

Oh good lord there is always that 'one' client :ohmy:

I would find it hard to have any empathy for their lack of planning and be tempted to just dig my heals in with the decision to be done on Friday for ALL ... seriously how can they not have a BACK UP PLAN in place let alone have even found alternative care until her own mat leave starts cause it is not going to be EASY to find someone who is willing to take a kid for just a couple weeks ... plus what if you actually go into labor early do they expect you to keep working cause you said January 25 as your tentative last day ... some people just make me :rolleyes:

[Lou]

I think the real kicker was her attempt to be sympathetic by saying "I truly know how you are feeling", because she's pregnant too....ummmmmm....a cushy office job is slightly SLIGHTLY different from a home daycare business. Sitting in front of a computer all day sounds like a vacation to me these days! lol! Whatever.

[playfelt]

Sounds like her plan is to just work as long as you can and then when you go on mat leave she will start too and is not wanting to start any earlier than necessary.

Good that you have been able to reduce your workload.

[Mamma_Mia]

I agree that the lighter load will be a big difference - forget the program now! focus on you and the kids honestly don't care! They're happy to be fed, drinks, toys etc.

I'm kinda getting worried now as I planned on going to the end as well....uh oh :unsure:

[Inspired by Reggio]

Sounds like her plan is to just work as long as you can and then when you go on mat leave she will start too and is not wanting to start any earlier than necessary...

This was my thought too ~ cause seriously how can you know your provider is going on Mat leave on X date and not have a plan in place for it ~ my guess is that she might be planning on going on leave early however perhaps using 'paid sick or emergency leave' days by claiming her provider bailed on her and she has no back up verses starting her actual mat leave benefits.

[Momof4]

I'm so happy for you Lou, that most of your clients were understanding. As far as the dcMom who gave you a hard time, her lack of planning is NOT your problem. That's an old saying and so very true!