Parents not wanting 3yr old to nap ????

[momof4inpink]

Ok so I have new dcg that just turned 3yrs old. Parents prior to starting told me that she "was" taking an hour nap daily. First day of starting daycare parents tell me that she no longer naps, and if she does nap to limit her sleep to no more than 20-30 minutes. I am so amazed at all these parents that do NOT want thier children to nap or rest at the magic age of 3. They insist that if they do nap, that they will not sleep during the night. Isn't it still mandatory in kindergarden for children to rest for at least an hour a day, and this is the school district that applies this policy no?:unsure: So this is my question, how do you prevent the child from sleeping if they clearly are tired and do fall asleep.....as this is the case right now:blink: I wonder what time do these parents put thier children to bed at night that they wont sleep,.....6:30-7pm. I had a past client that complained that thier 18mth wouldnt sleep for them, I asked what time do you put her to bed, dcm sais 6:30pm.....and then she didnt know why she was wakeing up at 5am????:huh:

[BlueRose]

You don't. if the child needs to sleep you let them. if parents don't want their children to sleep, to bad so sad. my policy is " i will not keep a child up. I will not wake a child unless its an emergency (fire etc.)

yes the school my son will be attending next sept has a "quiet time" in a blacked out room, so the kids will end up falling asleep.

[Inspired by Reggio]

Yes ~ every provider heading into a relationship with clients should have very CLEAR policies on how things like this are handled within the home childcare centre .... we are not a 'large group centre' that has access to multiple staff to supervise multiple rooms and children in various stages of sleep needs ~ everyone RESTS so that the children needing nap are in an environment that supports their need to nap ~ if a child in a restful state falls ASLEEP it is because they NEED the sleep!

Issues at bedtime at HOME are rarely about being 'tired' they are about the normal stage of 'sleep resistance' where a child has realized that time passes while they sleep and they are 'missing out' on things being done while they sleep so they STALL going to sleep in an effort not to miss things ... removing the 'nap' is not the solution dealing with the stalling behaviors and the expectations that they go to bed and sleep is the answer!

[Skysue]

Unfortunately I find people theses days are extremely selfish. They don't care that we have to deal with extra grumpy kids due to them not napping, nor do they care about us having a quality break.

They feel that they pay us to do what they say, period.

I have a just turned 3 year old, I have been asked to not nap for the past 6 months. He apparently doesn't sleep if he naps. The mom has now signed him up for dance and indoor soccer so if. Now I'm required to only nap him on Monday's and Thursday's, give me a break. Like this child us an electronic toy that can be turned on and off.

What is wrong with people today?

[cfred]

When I was in college, one of our profs put the following question on our exam:

"The parents of a 2.5 yr old girl in your classroom are having difficulties putting their child to bed at night. The problem has been causing great stress and disruption to the household routine. They have asked that their child be exempt from nap time. However, the child is having difficulty staying awake. What are some techniques you could utilize to help the child cope without napping?"

Everyone had a variety of great responses using all sorts of behaviour management techniques we'd learned all semester. We ALL got it wrong.

The correct answer:

"None. The child must be allowed to nap. Regardless of parental request and impact on household routine, the needs of the child must come into consideration first."

Naps are non-negotiable - so say my professors :)

[Inspired by Reggio]

Agreed Cfred !

Sleep is a basic human NEED and if a child NEEDS to sleep it is not my job to mess with their self regulation of that by 'forcing' them to stay awake cause the parent thinks it will make it easier!

The fact is we offer a SERVICE ... therefore WE get to choose what that service entails based on our philosophies and values and we make that clear to clients upon enrollment so they know what 'service they are buying'!

CLIENTS do not get to dictate our values or philosophies or how our business is run .... if your belief is that children need to REST daily in order to thrive in your program and for YOU to thrive, if you believe that if they fall asleep during that rest period it means that they must NEED the sleep still and therefore will be allowed to sleep than that is your VALUE AND NAP POLICY ~ therefore you make it clear to clients upon enrollment!

"Please note that a rest time is from 1-3 in the program. Rest time is not negotiable, children who still need to sleep will be given at least 2 hours of a quiet restful atmosphere within the house to support their need to sleep ... if your child has outgrown REST TIME than they have outgrown my program"

Basically you let your clients know upon enrollment that if you do not want your child to rest cause you are afraid they will fall asleep and it will mess up your evening routine than you need to seek alternative service because that is a deal break for you!

I have yet to have a client whose tried to TELL me that they do not want their child resting ~ because they know it is not an option! I will admit I have had a few who've come in concerned that their child is not going to bed at night as easily and implied could it be the nap and they were promptly given several articles with tips and resources for dealing with 'sleep time resistance' and how to sleep train your child to over come that 'behavior' at home ... and within a week or so their child was 'sleeping well' again because the parents were not buying into sleep resistant behavior and keeping a consistent bedtime routine and expectation that at the end of the routine you stay in bed in a restful state until you fall asleep ~ which means no playing with things in your room, no talking or singing, no calling out you need another hug / drink / pee as we've done all that as part of our bedtime routine and now it is REST TIME so rest until you are ready to fall asleep and you stay in bed in that state until a parent comes back to get you in the morning ... works like a charm ;)

[ladyjbug]

The answer I would give to these parents is: "I am so sorry to hear dcg has aged out of my program. I am only available to care for children that are able to have a full nap in the afternoons as stated in my handbook and contract. So sorry to hear it won't work out and I wish you luck in your childcare search."

I don't care what these families want to do in the privacy of their own homes. But in my house, everyone naps. If they don't nap, they don't fit here. None of this 20 minute cat nip stuff, either. That is kind of bordering on cruel to only let them rest for 20 minutes if they are seriously overtired. I bet they change their tune real quickly if you say that. If you lose them, good riddance.

[Momof4]

The answer I would give to these parents is: "I am so sorry to hear dcg has aged out of my program. I am only available to care for children that are able to have a full nap in the afternoons as stated in my handbook and contract. So sorry to hear it won't work out and I wish you luck in your childcare search."

I don't care what these families want to do in the privacy of their own homes. But in my house, everyone naps. If they don't nap, they don't fit here. None of this 20 minute cat nip stuff, either. That is kind of bordering on cruel to only let them rest for 20 minutes if they are seriously overtired. I bet they change their tune real quickly if you say that. If you lose them, good riddance.

PERFECTLY STATED and I agree with this 100%. If I had parents like this at my daycare I wouldn't tell them that their children slept 2 hours or 3 hours, I would just tell them that their child had a good nap. If a child needs to sleep then they should be allowed to sleep.

[sunnydays]

I've had parents in the past ask me to wake their two year old after 2 hours because he won't sleep at night. I tried and he would not wake up...so I started just leaving him (he would frequently sleep 2.5-3 hours). Parents believed I was wakinghim up and never had a problem with his nighttime sleep again:laugh: After that experience, I tell parents I will not wake children unless I need to wake them for snacktime in the afternoon so we can get on with our day (usually that means they have slept about 3 hours). I agree with others who have said above that this problem is in parents' heads. My own 2 and 4 year old nap really well and there have been times on weekends when they have gone down slightly later and slept until 5pm...they will still go to bed at 7:30 because that is their routine...zero issues. People are amazed, but it is all about routine and expectations and if you expect that your child is not tired and will not sleep...they won't! The same thing with morning wake-up times. I have so many parents telling me that their 2 year old keeps waking up at 5 or 6am and then the child is tired and grumpy all morning. Why are you letting your child get up so early? My own kids will sleep until 8am if I don't wake them up most days...they have been trained not to get up so early as it affects everyone.

[Harmoni]

I'am going through the same thing with a 5yr dcg! Her mom has said a few times no more naps cause she is not sleeping at night. Yet monday-friday she walks through the door looking like something the cat dragged in! lol Asking when she can have a nap and how much longer till quiet time?? So if she sleeps....Oh well, she must have needed it! I also won't wake a sleeping child, if that means my break is a little longer well then bonus! This is not the first time I've been told not to nap someones child, I just don't bring up naps unless the parents do! A couple of the parents just don't realize their kids still nap after playing all morning! :)

[playfelt]

Napping is something parents question without thinking. I have a 14 month old right now that still has a morning and afternoon nap. Mom can't understand why she naps in the morning still since she doens't on the weekends. She is upset because child is missing out on "school" learning time which we do during morning naptime. But then when you question mom you find out child wakes at 5:30 but goes back to bed till after 8am. During the week she is gotten up 5:30-6 and fed to be at my house by 7am. So she has two hours of extra sleep on the weekend which she now needs to make up on weekdays.

[daycarewhisperer]

I don't provide service to children who don't need a full afternoon nap. When I say "full" I mean a 2.5 hour break with NOTHING to do but lay in bed and sleep. I don't offer "quiet" activities or TV. NOTHING but sleep.

I am never in the business of deciding if they do or don't need one. I've had "no nap" requests for infants to five year olds. The age of the child makes no difference to me. If they don't NEED a nap then they must move to a program that offers a "no nap" option. No exceptions. It's not personal. I understand that there are children from birth to five who don't need to nap. They just aren't a population I can serve.

[DisneyPrincess]

For me its very simple : everybody is down for nap from 12:45 to 2:45... no later since kids from school arrive and everyone is napping in the playroom. So its only 2 hours but it has been working great. When parents told me at registration that the kid doesnt nap anymore, give them a book or a puzzle or something, my answer is no, everyone MUST lie down and rest, quietly. Even is no sleep, you rest !! I NEED that break too !!!!

[kidlove]

I have clearly stated in my contracts that any child 4 and under must take part in nap time or this daycare is not the right fit. I further with explanation why: stating I feel firmly that IF a child of that age does not recieve proper rest through the day, their behavior will show negatively not to mention children need rest to have proper health as well! It is a requirement while in may care at that age....after 4 i have had parents request their child not rest during the day, to that I will explain I do expect a quiet period each day from all children in care, explaining to the older children that respect for the younger kids and their rest is priority, and IF any child falls asleep during rest period I WILL NOT keep them awake. If a child sleeps? their body needs the rest....I do offer to wake them early IF the parent is having issues with sleep at night. I personally feel that parents are taking bed time a little too far in some cases, who put their child to bed at 6-7 pm? they pick them up from care at 5-5:30 rush home, feed them, bathe them, and put them to bed. No family time? no play time? like little robots these kids are!!!!!! nothing wrong with 8-9pm bed time IMO. and if they have to get up early in the am (which is much the excuse from parents these days) they can assure with the proper placement of their child in a good quality daycare, they will get that extra rest that is needed through the day! :)

[playfelt]

Even school age kids home on PD or summer benefit from a being separate part of the day to regroup. When I had my own home plus any other school age back then the first hour of naptime was alone time meaning they chose something that they could do by themselves without interaction with another child or me in a place by themselves so curl up and read a book, colour, etc. That made it quiet for those needing to fall asleep and gave me an hour to clean up from lunch, eat my lunch and do what I needed to do without interruption. When all was done we would then do a "big kid" activity till the little ones got up - a privilege they could lose if I had to waste my hour to deal with them not being alone quietly.

There were a lot less issues in terms of behaviour if they had a break from each other.

[dodge__driver11]

This is in my handbook, and if the child is unable to cope with this, then they are asked to find other care arrangements.

The designated daily quiet time is 12:30-3:15 p.m. each day. Your child may lay quietly and read in their beds. However they will not be allowed to be up and about during the designated quiet time, as this disturbs children that are asleep.

And you know? They don't even get through the book, 9/10 they fall asleep w/ no "fight" about it...