Beginning to think she'll never sleep

[gramma]

my 16 month old dcg still does not sleep. been here since end of october and i've tried everything.

I had her sleeping separtely but this week moved her in with the others because i need to be able to get into my bedroom. i thought she might take comfort knowing she wasnt alone.

She just will not sleep. she's great otherwise and i love the family which makes it so hard. I dont know what it is, she very clearly needs sleep and is visibly tired. I have a soundmachine, same as she has at home and I dont go back into the room but she is very loud and consistent. It makes my break time less than relaxing:no:

[monkeymama]

does she bring a comfort item with her? my 11 month old dcg wasnt sleeping well at the beginning so i suggested mom bring a blankey from home. she doesnt have anything at home she really gravitates to but here she loves sleeping with that blankey.

[gramma]

she has a stuffie that i gave her on her first day and she is quite attached to it. Mom expressed concern to me last week that she was afraid i would give up and tell her i couldnt continue and i assured her that that wouldnt happen. i have a real bond with this little one but this week has been particularly bad. is it possible that some kids just wont sleep? she can cry for over 2 hours without stopping. ive never seen such determination not to sleep

[Other Mummy]

gramma, I feel your pain. I cannot imagine what it's been like for almost 3 months! You have to ask yourself if you can go without a break, your sanity and disrupting the other children's sleep all for one child. That does not seem fair to the other children or to you. :no:

I would terminate. Sleep is not negotiable over here. My newbies learn within a week at max. that they need to stay quiet and/or sleep during nap time.

This child would do better in a centre care where there is more staff on hand and will allow a non-napper.

[Crayola kiddies]

I had one that started with me when she was 14 months .....mom assured me she was simple to put down .... Ya right ..... I tried every room ..... She screamed .... Mom told me she would not give in to tiredness either ..... I had to keep calling dad to pick her up she was just beside herself .... She would pull her pony tail when she was tired and she was damn near ripping it off her head she was so tired .... So mom gave it some thought and the next week she said sent a music machine, and moms pillowcase and she said put her in the darkest room and shut off the light and shut the door and see what happens ..... Bingo !!!!! She slept for 3.5 that day and every day after. Maybe she needs to smell mom!

[gramma]

I had one that started with me when she was 14 months .....mom assured me she was simple to put down .... Ya right ..... I tried every room ..... She screamed .... Mom told me she would not give in to tiredness either ..... I had to keep calling dad to pick her up she was just beside herself .... She would pull her pony tail when she was tired and she was damn near ripping it off her head she was so tired .... So mom gave it some thought and the next week she said sent a music machine, and moms pillowcase and she said put her in the darkest room and shut off the light and shut the door and see what happens ..... Bingo !!!!! She slept for 3.5 that day and every day after. Maybe she needs to smell mom!

I will make that suggestion to mom tonight. Thanks for the idea. Im so frustrated right now. I went in, which i never do and she's lying down making noise but clearly tired and I gave her a soother. She doesnt have one, but I have them on hand for my dcg who does use them just in case we lose one. She took it right away. Mom nurses her still a bit and I've said from the begininng that i felt that was an issue. Mom tried to stop but she was so exhausted sometimes that she gave in. I dont know much about nursing because i never did but if mom isonly nursing a small amount and not even everyday she must not be providing nuourishment, just comfort right? Not sure how to bring it up to mom if the soother works, but she's still quiet. the other little guy with her isnow awake so not sur how long she'sll stay quiet. thank god its friday

[Other Mummy]

Oh oh...gramma I think you hit the nail there so to speak...if DCM is nursing for comfort during sleep time then you are in for a really rough ride at naptime. Let us know how it works out with Crayola Kiddies suggestion.

Have you thought about what you are going to do if these ideas don't work?

[gramma]

Oh oh...gramma I think you hit the nail there so to speak...if DCM is nursing for comfort during sleep time then you are in for a really rough ride at naptime. Let us know how it works out with Crayola Kiddies suggestion.

Have you thought about what you are going to do if these ideas don't work?
i dont know what i'll do. all of my dc kids are great and i adore all of them, but every now and then a child comes along that you bond with in a different way. Its been like that from the very beginning and it would feel like i would be giving away my own child. not sure i can do it. i keep thinking that she's getting older and will soon understand that nap time is quiet time. uggh cant even thing about terminating. i hope it doesnt come to that.

[sunnydays]

If the soother works I say go for it! I am sure the mom will just be happy that you are not going to terminate ;) For the nursing, it is not the nursing that causes the problem, it is using the nursing to get the child to sleep. I nursed my daughter until she was 2, but I always put her down awake (except for newborn stage) and she learned to put herself to sleep. Maybe you should talk to mom about saving the nursing for awake times and keeping it separate from putting the baby down for sleep. Ie. nurse, but don't allow the child to fall asleep while nursing...put the child to bed awake.

[gramma]

mom and i have discussed this and she tries not to use it put her to sleep but she overthinks it toomuch in the night and convinces herself that maybe she's hungry. Either that or she does it because she is completely exhausted and needs the sleep herself. she has a fairly high stress/emotional job. normally i would be angry but she is totally honest with me about it and i appreciate that so much however, my sanity and rest time is important as well. Iknow she's trying. i think i'm going to start keeping a log, asking every morning how she slept, if she nursed and keep track of what happens here during the day to see if there is any connection. she's also getting teeth which throws another wrench into the mix. thanks for all the support ladies. sometimes my only sanity comes from chatting with you all.

[gramma]

Just when I think I may have figured it out, i discover i'm wrong again. She slept at home on the weekend for just under 2 hours each day. today, no sleep so far. I just dont get it. She needs the sleep, I know she does. Could it be the playpen? thats about the only thing that I can think of at this point.

[crafty]

Holy molly I dunno how you di it. I have 2 new little ones that have been SCREAMING for the past 2 weeks at nap time. I'm thiking about terming one of them as there is absolutely no progress and it is getting to me.

Sorry nothing very positive to tell you but I am just sooooo amazed at how strong willed they can be. Both mine are not really crying they are screaming for me to pick them up. As soon as naptime is over ... they are all good and playfull.

[Skysue]

Just when I think I may have figured it out, i discover i'm wrong again. She slept at home on the weekend for just under 2 hours each day. today, no sleep so far. I just dont get it. She needs the sleep, I know she does. Could it be the playpen? thats about the only thing that I can think of at this point.

Could be just that, I had one that was exactly like that. As soon as she went in a crib she slept close to 2 hours a day.

It's so hard when they can't adjust, it is the most challenging part of our jobs. I think we need to add detective to our resumes.

[Crayola kiddies]

ask mom to nap her in a playpen at home on the weekends and see if she sleeps there....maybe she just knows the difference and she is just being stubborn.

[gramma]

I'm not about to buy a crib to find out. she is so incredibly stubborn. I'm so exhausted from having one of my dck's start at 6:30 am and no relaxing time in the afternoon, its killing my patience. My early start will be leaving as I am giving them notice but not sure that will be enough.